Note: Stolas is around 12-13, who is longing for absent maternal love which could fill the void in his heart. But not the kind of love which you could expect.
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Dear Diary,

I find myself overcome with a sense of loneliness and longing. It is a feeling that has been growing within me for some time now, although I have tried to push it away. But the truth is, I cannot ignore it any longer.

I have been thinking a lot about my mother lately - the woman who gave birth to me and raised me until she just disappeared one day, and father never brought her up again. It seems strange to think that I have so few memories of her, and yet she is always in my thoughts.

I remember her reading to me at bedtime, her voice soft and soothing as she brought the characters to life on the pages. She would tuck me in, give me a kiss on the forehead, and tell me how much she loved me. Those were some of the happiest moments in my young life.

But as the years passed, my memories of my mother began to slip away. Even my own father never bothered to embrace me, heck, even comfort me from the void in my heart which needed to be filled. I missed my mother terribly, but I wasn't sure how to express that longing.

It wasn't until later in life that I learned about my mother's love for Botany, aka plants and herbs. My Imp butler had told me stories about how she would bring home wildflowers and create beautiful bouquets that would light up the whole palace.

I also discovered that she had given me a book about plants and herbs when I was just a toddler, hoping to teach me about their healing properties and the importance of respecting and caring for nature. I still have that book, although it has seen better days, dust and cobwebs covered everywhere, my butler helped me to bring it back to its former glory.

Reading through its pages brought me nostalgia, I feel a connection to my mother that I cannot explain. It is as if she is whispering to me, sharing her love of the Botanical world and showing me the beauty and complexity of the living things around us. I couldn't bring myself to read it once again, when my dearest friend wasn't too keen about plants and herbs, even when Mother's Day was just this Sunday, brought myself to tear up, longing for someone to love me again, not just a companion, but maternal love once again.

I long to feel that connection more strongly, to understand who my mother was and what she meant to me. But it feels as if I am reaching for something that is just beyond my grasp.

Perhaps that is why I find myself drawn to books, to words and ideas that hold a kind of magic. They give me a glimpse into other worlds, other lives, and allow me to explore my own feelings and thoughts in a safe and nurturing way.

But there are some things that words cannot express. The ache in my heart, the yearning for a mother's love and guidance, the sense of loss and longing that feels like a part of me.

I am a Goetia Prince, steeped in the traditions and culture of my upbringing. I have travelled the world, met fascinating demons, and seen incredible sights. Yet none of that can fill the emptiness that I feel inside.

I long for my mother's touch, her smile, the sound of her laughter. I want to know her as a person, to hear her stories and understand who she truly was. I want to feel her love, even though she is no longer here.

It is a strange thing to long for someone who is gone, someone who I barely knew. But that is the power of a mother's love - it remains with us, even when we cannot touch or see it.

That's when I pondered, what if I grow and nurture wildplants? The idea of cultivating and fostering these untamed species, of seeing them thrive under my care and attention, fills me with a sense of purpose and fulfillment that I have long been searching for.

I recognize the challenges that lie ahead; the inherent unpredictability of these plants and their complex ecosystems requires a level of knowledge and skill that I am eager to acquire. Yet I am undeterred, for the reward of witnessing these plants flourish in their habitat is too great to ignore.

In light of this, I have decided to dedicate a significant portion of my time and resources to nurturing wild plants. I firmly believe that this is my calling, well for a hobby, and that I have a moral obligation to protect the Botanical world and its inhabitants.

As I close this entry, I do so with a heavy heart. But I also know that there is hope, that the memories of my mother may fade but her influence will always be present in my life.

Perhaps one day, I will find a way to express those feelings, to connect with other people who have experienced loss and longing. Until then, I will continue to write, to seek solace in the words that have always been a part of me.

And I will hold onto the book about plants and herbs, knowing that it contains a part of my mother's spirit and the love that she had for all living things. It is a reminder that even in the darkest of moments, there is always hope, always a possibility for connection and understanding.

Sincerely,
Stolas Goetia

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Author's Note:

This chapter is regarding Mother's Day, so I hope you guys enjoy it!!!! I can't wait to the new episode to air soon, hopefully it can strike a chord of inspirations for my book.