You didn't drop a bombshell like that expecting nothing to change. Because everything changed. That was the moment when Toni stopped being the golden girl in our parents' eyes. The fact that she'd been a role model to daughters of the world for her near 20 years of life seemed to have been chucked out the window.

And then, something I'd wanted all along finally happened. My parents turned their eyes to me.

I had to backtrack though, back to the moment where my sister fell from grace. Don't get me wrong, I was not celebrating that. I was just as stumped for words as papa and mama, everything I'd known about Toni colliding with that single sentence—and I used the word sentence in the full sense. It felt like she'd put handcuffs around her wrists all by herself.

Not that she got into that predicament all alone. There was a father.

Dear God, my sister, who was only a year and a half older than me, was going to be a mother. I was going to be an aunt. What the heck was going on?

I realized when my legs gave out under me that I'd shot up to my feet at the sudden news. I looked at Toni's stoic expression. If she'd done any crying about it, it had already come and gone. Then I looked at mama, and even though she looked like the Angel Falls were about to burst out of her eyes any time, I also had the impression this was not entirely news to her.

And then I dared to look at papa. He could never be accused of being talkative. Words were never necessary for a man whose entire thought process was always written on his face. And right now what was on it scared me.

"Qué?"

He exploded.

"Qué acabas de decir, Antonieta Lucia?"

I did feel really bad for her, but I also needed to hear it again. I just couldn't believe it.

Toni lifted her chin and her eyes blazed as she repeated, "Estoy embarazada."

I sucked in a deep breath. If the entire conversation was going to carry on in Spanish, I did not want to be here for it. This only happened when tempers were so hot that papa's brain melted down and couldn't process any English. I desperately wanted to leave the office, but all of them were standing between the door and I. I sank down into papa's chair.

"Cómo pudo haber pasado esto?" papa screamed, throwing the receipts in his hand to the floor with so much force that had they not been made of paper, they would've broken the floor tile.

It wasn't Toni who answered the question, though. It was mama.

"She slept with a boy from college."

My head swam. Although this should have been obvious, given the result, this was the first time I realized that Toni was not just mama and papa's daughter, or my sister. She was a woman. One who made mistakes because of her libido.

Papa gritted his teeth so hard that we heard a crunch. He yanked the door open and left the three of us standing there, watching him as he traversed the shop floor stomping all the way outside. The silence he left behind was broken by a sob that turned out to be mama's. She dropped herself on the chair papa had vacated, folding her arms on the table so that she could cry into them.

That was it. I couldn't take this anymore. I stood up and grabbed my sister's arm. The outside noise hit our eardrums like a hammer, but it was a welcome change to our mother's hiccups and sobs. Manny, who'd had a bit of a crush on Toni since forever, stopped at the sight of her with a wrench against his heart like some sort of mechanic salute. Someone appeared in front of us carrying a gigantic part by himself, and as we dodged I saw that it was Sawyer. I kept going until we were outside and saw that papa's car was gone. That, or the fresh air, finally helped Toni take in a deep breath.

And then she screamed.

I jumped half a mile because I didn't know who the heck this person was. This was not my obedient and composed sister. The one who did everything papa said and helped mama with everything she needed. The one who got out of the car to help little old ladies cross busy intersections, even if such gestures almost got her ran over more than once. Our parents had trusted her blindly when she moved out 10 miles from home to live at a student dorm, just so that she could enjoy the full college experience. They never thought something like this would ever happen to Toni.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I asked her as she drew in deep breaths. "I don't care that you had sex but I thought you were smart enough to use protection!"

"I did," she said, giving me a hurt look. "Or we did. The condom must have been defective-"

"We?" I latched onto that little word. "I never even knew there was a we. You never told me you had a we, least of all that you and your we were having sex. It's like you've been living a parallel reality I'm only learning about now."

Toni's lips peeled back and she gave out an ugly laugh. "First of all there's no we and second of all, are you kidding me? Why are you talking about how you feel about this right now?"

I gasped. My mouth opened and closed. My throat burned.

"I'm not," I started to say, except that I was and I knew it. But if I apologized I'd be admitting it. "I'm just in shock."

Toni folded her arms and looked down at her feet. "Yeah, well. Trust me, you're not the only one."

We ended up sitting together by the entrance. The sun beat on us with relentless warmth. The sky was the same cloudless blue of a September morning in Orlando and cars drove across East Colonial in ways that guaranteed we were never going out of business. And yet we felt different. Toni was no longer a kid and I no longer thought she was perfect.

She told me what happened after we calmed down. She'd met this really cute pre-med guy at a party, but they hadn't hooked up right there or then. He took her out on a couple of coffee dates before going on an official one.

"Why didn't you tell me about him?" I asked, not even bothering to hide the fact that I was hurt she kept him from me.

"I didn't think anything would come out of it," she said at first, but after a beat she glanced my way. "And I didn't think I should."

My brows creased.

Toni sighed. "Rory, you're just so strict. I was afraid that if I told you I was having some fun with a guy that you'd give me a sermon about the family plan or something."

I pursed my lips to hold back the dishonest denial that automatically wanted to come out. I totally would have. I'd made it a policy to not date anybody until my goals were certain, to the point that I'd even squashed my junior year crush on Ryan Romano like a bug under my foot.

That was because of the example Toni set for me.

I squirmed. "Yeah, maybe. But you never dated before, either."

She laughed. "And it was hard. I just wanted to enjoy myself a little, you know?" I didn't, but I stayed silent as she shook her head. "Serves me well, I guess."

I raised my knees and rested my chin on them. "This is so unfair."

"You're telling me," she said.

"I guess perfection doesn't exist," I said, catching the weird look she gave me. "I mean, you were pretty close to it."

Toni shook her head as though she was actively seeing several new heads pop up around mine. "Are you kidding me? It's been so hard to keep mama and papa happy, I've been on the verge of a mental breakdown for years. I didn't want it to be this way, but I'm glad they finally see I'm just a girl, not some sort of robot doll who was brought to this world to please them."

My jaw dropped.

She looked dead into my eyes.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Rory?" she asked me, grabbing my limp hand and squeezing it in hers. "I wasn't planning on becoming a mom when I turn 20, but I welcome this blessing and I want something like this for you, too."

I yanked my hand from hers and leapt back, but since I was sitting all that meant was that I lay sprawled on the sidewalk. It made her laugh, which was good for her and all, but what the heck was she talking about?

"Are you crazy? The last thing I ever want is to become a teenage mom!"

Hurt flashed before her eyes before I could call the words back. Toni stood up and brushed her jeans off. For the first time she looked like she was about to start crying.

"I'm sorry-" I started to say, but she lifted her hand up.

"I don't wish this on you." She fixed me with a pointed stare. "But what I do wish is for you to find your own path to freedom. Don't let mama and papa try to turn you into a perfect automaton."

As she went back into the store, those words hung in the air around me, suffocating.

maybe i'm being dramatic but