monday 8:25 am

i was in class, there was more
whispers than normal. it was
because they all saw sunas fight
video from his snap, fight instagram
acc, and twitter. suna was quite a
crowd pleaser.

all that was in my head was
how was i going to talk to akaashi.
i had no idea what to say, i
didn't know what i wanted to
say.

"hey akaashi, i think we
should take a break"

no

"hey akaashi, i understand
it's not your fault,"

ehh

but every time i thought
about breaking up with
akaashi, osamu showed
up in my mind.

it's probably nothing.
but that cheesy grin he
made when we were on
the roof.

his words
"i think we look cute in it"
engraved in my mind.
did he think i'm cute? or
did he just wanted me to
be happy?

something about his company
gives me peace.

shut up y/n

you have a boyfriend.

do i have a boyfriend?

does he even want me?

did he ever love me?

i snap out of my thoughts
when i hear a knock at the
class door.

sensei
y/n you are excused to
go home.

i nod my head confused.
i walk down to the office to
sign out. they tell me that my
mom called the school to let
me go home.

i walk home but not just with
akaashi in my thoughts but
with osamu.

———

mom
so i saw keiji at the store,
and invited him over

akaashi
you really didn't have to

mom
oh please of course i did.
since he's in hyogo i called
school to let you go home.
i'll be on my way to work
now. bye

she walks out of the house,
leaving us alone. alone in awkward
silence.

this was the moment i was
dreading. i go upstairs to
change out of my uniform.

i was now in sweats and
a crop top. i mean i was
going no where, and most
likely i was going to cry.

i walk downstairs to see
him on his phone.

i sit down on the couch

keiji
hey

i turn my head to face
him

y/n
hey akaashi

keiji
no what happened to
keiji?

y/n
oh i thought it would
be more respectful

keiji
so what do we do now?

y/n
did you kiss back? be honest

keiji
i um uh .....
yeah i did

y/n
oh okay.

keiji
but i thought she was you,
i mean the hair, the clothes.
even the same perfume. she
came up to me and said "hey
keiji" and kissed me. i kissed
back. that was until i tasted her
lip balm, i knew you always liked
flavoured ones. so i knew it wasn't
you. i pushed her back lightly. i don't
know how she got a recording

y/n
no it's okay, i think. but you
still love me right?

keiji
uh yeah i do

i nod my head

keiji
what's happening to
us? this isn't usually like
us.

y/n
i'm still trying to understand
why you ignored me for a week
though

keiji
because i was scared you were
going to break up with me

both our voices breaking,
tears falling from our eyes.

keiji
I WAS JEALOUS OKAY

i flinch at the sudden raise
of voice

y/n
of what?

keiji
OF HIM. OSAMU.

y/n
why? we just became
friends.

keiji
I DONT KNOW I THOUGHT
YOU WOULD LEAVE HIM
FOR ME

y/n
BUT I LOVE YOU I DONT
LOVE HIM

keiji
we don't know that

y/n
GOD KEIJI YOU NEED
TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME.
ITS ALWAYS ME TALKING, ITS
LIKE IM TALKING TO A WALL.

keiji
YOU ALWAYS ASK FOR
REASSURANCE THE CONSTANT
"DO YOU STILL LOVE ME." ITS
ANNOYING. IS MY LOVE
NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO
UNDERSTAND?

y/n
NO YOUR LOVE IS AMAZING
I JUST GET INSECURE YOU
WILL LEAVE ME FOR BETTER

keiji
maybe aira is better

y/n
what did you just say?

keiji
GOD Y/N ITS LIKE YOURE
UNLOVEABLE.

y/n
UNLOVEABLE? DOES THAT
MEAN YOU NEVER LOVED ME?

with your weak trembling voice
breaking, along with your heart.

keiji
THINKING ABOUT IT NOW. ITS
EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS. BEING
WITH YOU IS LIKE A CONSTANT
LOSING BATTLE.

y/n
IM TIRED OF FIGHTING
FOR YOUR LOVE. THEN I
HATE MYSELF WHEN I DONT.
IM DONE

akaashi
I DONT KNOW HOW I COULD
EVER LOVE SOMEONE LIKE
YOU

y/n
i'm done. everything was a lie.
we are over. GET THE FUCK OUT
OF MY HOUSE AKAASHI

akaashi
little y/n heartbroken now?

he scoffs and leaves, the
door bangs closed. i fall
to my knees crying.

i knew i was going to cry.