Hamster Time

Rating: PG. Warnings: Mentions of past abuse


Tommy had seen this movie so many times he could probably recite the whole thing from memory. But it was his and Josselin's bonding movie, the movie they watched when it was just the two of them.


There was a reason he'd seen it so many times. But Meara never joined them.


Tommy kept glancing over at Josselin, but every time Josselin glanced back, Tommy would avert his eyes back to the TV, until Josselin finally asked,


"Tommy? Are you okay?"


Tommy shrugged one shoulder.


"Do you want to talk about something?"


"I just... was wondering something."


"What's going on?"


Tommy looked down at his hands, folded awkwardly in his lap.


"Well, you talk about your mum sometimes," Tommy finally said. "And I know what happened to her and everything. But Meara never talks about his family. I don't know if his parents are alive, or if he's an only child or has siblings, or what."


Josselin nodded. When Tommy didn't continue, Josselin said, "Well, his relationship with his family is complicated. When he was younger, about your age, his family disowned him after years of emotional and verbal abuse. He doesn't want to talk about it with you because he doesn't want to upset you or bring back any bad memories from your old situation."


Tommy's shoulders tensed. Was it in his head, or did Josselin just barely lean away to give him some space?


"That's why he always makes you discipline me when I fuck up," he said.


Josselin nodded. "He's afraid he'll do it wrong and hurt you. Not physically, he'd never hit you, and I want you to know that –"


"I know."


"– but he's afraid he'll hurt you mentally. Emotionally. He's afraid he'll do to you what his family did to him. So he leaves me to handle it. Does that bother you?"


"No," Tommy said. "I just... I don't know. I feel like I should have made a connection of some kind."


"I'm not surprised you didn't," Josselin said. "Meara's very good at hiding it." A faraway look crept into his eyes and his brow furrowed. "It took me years to get everything out of him. Sometimes I think I still don't know it all. Maybe the only ones who know the extent of it are Danny and his family."


"You think he told them and not you?" Tommy's eyebrows shot up in surprise.


"It's not that. They were just his safe haven before we met at Sheraton. And Mrs. Yazdi has a way of getting things out of people."


Josselin hummed thoughtfully, his eyes on Tommy's shoulder. Maybe if –


"What if we thought about getting a pet?" he said. "Something you and Meara can take care of together. It would have to be something that could be kept in a cage or an aquarium, like a hamster or some fish. Jaisyn's allergic to pretty much every animal ever so we couldn't have a dog or cat running around getting its hair on everything.


"I might like a hamster," Tommy said, after a short pause.


"Okay," Josselin said. "We'll talk to Meara when he gets home, and in the meantime, we can look up all the information we need so it's harder for him to say no." Josselin grinned. He didn't really think Meara would refuse something like this, especially if it meant a chance to bond with Tommy. But when Tommy grinned back, Josselin relaxed, grateful Tommy had gotten his terrible joke.


"Let's go up to my office and see how much space they need," Josselin said. "And we can go from there."

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