"I really feel like I should be helping you guys move her in. After all, you lot are doing this for me next week." Jane told her friends anxiously as they forced her into the overstuffed chair that they'd brought into Maddie's new apartment. She was certain they'd brought the chair in first, so she'd have someplace to sit and not try to help them carry furniture.

At her words, Buck and Eddie gave her a chastising look. "You had your ribs broken," Buck started on her.

"And you were deprived of oxygen and your throat was literally crushed," Eddie was looking at her like she was crazy. "Let us get it."

"Better yet," Chimney moved in front of the guys and glared down at her with his best menacing stare...which wasn't very convincing, but he did try. "Your heart stopped. Twice. Forgive us for wanting you to rest while you can." 

"I'm sorry," she told them. "I just feel like I'm in the way. No, I don't just feel it. I am in the way, so I really don't understand why I'm here other than to eat your pizza and hang out."

"Exactly," Maddie came up behind them. "These lugs are eating my pizza and have to pay for it with physical labor. I like you better so your pizza is free. Now, here is my Wi-Fi password and let me know when you want an opinion on furniture." The only thing she was allowed to do is sit in the chair and search online for furniture while joining in the banter. After all, Jane's coffee table had been destroyed and there was no way that she could ever sit on that couch again. New furniture. New apartment. New start. Again. 

Jane smiled at the woman as she handed her a slip of paper. Then she watched, barely containing her laughter as Maddie directed the boys on where they needed to travel in order to pick up the big pieces of furniture she'd purchased and then lent Chimney a ladder so he could climb up and start installing her security system. He'd agreed to do it for Maddie when Buck had mentioned it, since he had already voluntold Jane that he'd be doing the same thing in her new apartment when she moved.

"It hardly seems fair that I can't help this week and next weekend you all are doing the heavy lifting again and you're basically going to help me move my entire life in a day."

"Hey," Eddie looked down at her steadily on his way out the door, emitting that calm and in control aura that Jane had come to understand in the last few weeks was simply Eddie. "Don't worry about it. Two weeks of pizza and beer are hardly something to complain about. Besides, it's Maddie's apartment. She's the boss."

"Could have fooled me, Mr. Bossy," Jane retorted. "You know I'm better."

"You are getting better," he corrected, "But Carla warned me that you'd try to overdo it. I'm not about to let you hurt yourself again when it could have been avoided by resting."

Jane wasn't allowed to go to work for weeks, and she'd gotten bored byherself. So it happened that her limited outings had included going to Eddie'shouse and hanging out with Carla and Christopher.  She was positive one of the reasons she was invited over was so that Carla could not-so-sneakily check up on her and tell her friends if she was recovering well and if there was anything else that she needed or if they should take her back to a doctor. Jane tolerated that because she absolutely loved Christopher and Carla. The ever-sarcastic boy had quickly burrowed his way into Jane's heart, and she had earned a place in his. They made cookies together and played video games and shared stories. When the boy had said that Jane was one of his best friends, the blonde had cried. She was so happy that she handed him her bag of Ruffles, which she was positive was his aim in buttering her up, but she didn't care. Carla was warm and each activity they did was made all the more fun for her blunt humor and understanding spirit.

These trips had also gotten her closer to Eddie and Jane wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. Their connection at the wedding had not been a fluke. They were similar people when it came to priorities, always taking care of others and never even thinking about burdening anyone else when they were struggling. Around each other they could laugh and tease. They found that not only did they care about the other person, but it didn't feel so foreign to admit to the other that there was a problem. This baring of the souls was new ground for both of them, but it was natural and freeing in a way that Jane could never voice aloud. 

All she knew is that she was tired, and couldn't wait to go back to work. It was nice helping Christopher and Carla throughout their day. All Eddie knew was that Jane Thomas had managed to find all of the cracks in his life, where he felt that he was failing, and had filled them somehow in a way that he didn't mind the intrusion. More than that, whenever he fumbled...with Jane there it didn't feel like a failure. He was beginning to accept that he was human, and asking for help didn't mean he was failing Christopher. 

Take last week for example. 

"I was supposed to help Christopher with his service project," Eddie panicked momentarily.

"Don't worry about it," Jane reassured him as she collected up her bags for Eddie to drive her back home. She wasn't allowed to drive on her medication. "We collected cans from the neighbors, and they are all boxed up and ready to go to the school tomorrow. Is all the crew in one piece?"

"Yeah, but Buck ran into a brick wall when he was running away from Hen and Chimney. I'm not sure what he did this time."

"You fixed him up though, right?"

"There was a small cut, which I cleaned and bandaged. No permanent damage and no concussion."

"Thanks," Jane grinned at him holding out a plate. "Want a cookie for the road?"

"Don't mind if I do," he took one and returned her smile.

"I swear, you are as bad as Christopher with those sweets," She shook her head at him in mock exasperation. 

"Nah," he swallowed up a second cookie in one bite. "Come on. Let's get you home." He took her purse from her and picked up the bag of baking supplies that she'd brought over. Christopher was supposed to bring in treats that week for school and Jane had been eager to take on a project, any project. 

She huffed at his implication that she couldn't carry the bags, but then she checked herself and realized that she was fairly drowsy. Then she rethought it again, it was nice to have someone take care of her, even if it was just carrying her bags to the car. She'd never had that. 

Eddie had seen her hide a yawn when he came in and he wasn't about to let her carry bags when she was still recuperating. 

"Surely, I can at least hang a picture," Jane continued to argue with the group at Maddie's apartment, pleading with Buck as he followed Eddie out the door.

"No can do, Janie," Buck said unhelpfully. "I gotta' agree with my sister. See ya' in a bit."

Jane shook her head at the pair and opened her laptop, planning to login to the IKEA website first and then a plethora of other furniture stores in the area. Yellow and Gray had been ruined for her, so maybe something brighter like blue or purple?

Jane's landlords had been more than understanding of the fact that there was no way she would feel safe in her apartment...ever again. The couple were kind enough to let her out of her lease and they even told her about friends of theirs who had vacancies in the area. While Jane didn't choose one of those properties as her new apartment, they'd been kind and understanding every step of the way. As it was, she hadn't been back to her apartment since her attack and would only being going back one day, with all of her friends there as support, to pack up and move. Her entire life to be shifted in one day. She'd drop her keys off with the landlord and that would be it. She wouldn't stick around for a walk through or to see the apartment after the professional cleaner she hired to appear the next day, would fix it up. She didn't want to be in that apartment longer than absolutely necessary.

Hen and Karen had offered up their guest room when she got out of the hospital, and so she was staying there for the time being. She didn't want to overstay her welcome and during the time she'd had off from the 118 while she recovered, she'd been apartment hunting with Farrah and Karen. Farrah had also offered for Jane to stay with her, but she and Karram were still newlyweds, and frankly, Karen was more insistent. Besides, the apartment she'd found was in the same building as Farrah and Karram's so there'd be ample opportunities for Farrah to check on her.

........

"Okay," Chimney said as he slowly climbed down from a metal stepladder in the living room several hours later. "You've officially reached Fort Knox level security." Jane herself, was sitting in the corner of the room, grinning at Chimney and his gizmos, happier than ever to be out and about, even while annexed to a chair, after her extended stay in the hospital. Fresh air and friends were good for the soul.

"Oh," Maddie leaned over her railing to look down into her living room from the second floor where she had been organizing her new bedroom. She smiled sheepishly down at Chim, who was now halfway down the ladder, and at Jane still perched in the chair. "You think it's too much?"

The pair sent each other a meaningful look before glancing up at the brunette woman. It had been a month since Jane was attacked and it was now towards the end of October. Despite the length of time, the knowledge that Jane had been the victim of a home intruder was at the forefront of their minds. The knowledge that he'd broken into her apartment more than once had been the most disturbing to them all, especially to Jane herself.

Even without knowing the reasons for the other woman's paranoia, Jane knew that Chim was happy to do the job of keeping someone else safe. Maddie's wish for security was on the higher end of paranoid, for a good reason. After Jane's attack, Maddie had visited her in the hospital and the women had become close enough that Maddie was comfortable sharing parts of her past. They had an understanding and had gradually become great friends.

"Three motion sensors in the living room?" Chimney looked around teasingly. "I mean, maybe if you're trying to keep Tom Cruise from getting his hands on your NOC list." Jane let out a small laugh at the movie reference, but from Maddie's confused expression, the firefighters could tell that the other woman had no idea what they were talking about.

"Mission Impossible?" Chimney asked her, with wide eyes. "No?"

"Sorry, haven't seen it," Maddie's voice was light and teasing as she descended the stairs. Jane looked back and forth from her vantage point in the corner of the room. Maddie's eyes were bright, and Jane sensed...a spark.

"Travesty," Chim responded, his eyes going from Maddie, down to his phone, and then back up to the woman as if he couldn't possibly look away. There had been more than one look like that between the pair throughout the day and each time Jane caught them, she grew more and more giddy. With a wide smile on her face, Maddie went to the front door, Chimney's eyes glued to her back.

Definitely a spark, Jane decided. I wholeheartedly approve. Chimney deserves someone who would be a devoted partner and who would appreciate his kind heart and from what she'd heard, Maddie deserved someone as sweet as Chimney.

"So," Jane said lightly, "should we invite her to the next movie night? Maybe watch Mission Impossible?"

Chimney gave Jane a startled look as if he'd forgotten she was there, which given how aware he was of Maddie, Jane wouldn't doubt.

"I'm sure she's probably busy. You know...she has work and setting this place up."

"But she also told me she wants to be friends and have a life here," Jane assured him. "Don't worry. I'll ask."

She followed Maddie towards the front door where she heard her two other friends making the most unfunny jokes they possibly could because they didn't want to maneuver the couch to fit.

"We could take the hinges off the door," Eddie offered up the ridiculous solution.

"Or we could use the Jaws of Life," Buck nodded. Jane could hear their sarcasm and let out a small chuckle despite herself.

"No, no, no," Maddie gushed out, not hearing the sarcasm in her anxious efforts to make moving into her new apartment go smoothly. "It has to fit. I measured it twice. Can't you guys just, you know, turn it around the other way?"

For a minute, Jane considered leaving her chair to offer to help, but she knew that she'd be pecked at if she did. It wasn't worth the effort, even though she was nearly ready to take the physical fitness test and start back up at work. They were worried about her and beyond insistent that she rest. She supposed she didn't blame them since, her heart had actually stopped beating twice.

"But then the pizza will slide off," she could hear Buck say slowly.

"You have pizza on my new sofa?!" Maddie squeaked.

"It's on the plastic," her brother responded, exasperated.

At that point, Jane couldn't resist smiling as Maddie stormed back into the apartment smiling while carrying the pizza that Jane had ordered online during her furniture shopping. 

"Stop teasing and get back to work, Buckley!" Jane called back at the boys. "You too Diaz!"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Buck grumbled bending over to pick up one side of the couch. "C'mon Eddie. I'm hungry."

Eddie sent her an exasperated look to Jane over Buck's shoulder, exhausted by Buck's dramatics already, and Jane nearly smiled in sympathy. Then, she remembered that she could've helped, but he didn't let her, and so with a mischievous smile at him, she turned back into the apartment and sat down in her chair. She was just getting comfortable again to learn more about the most recent couch she'd found. It had seemed promising.

"I'm sorry," Maddie smiled towards Chimney, and the look made Jane wonder if she should go back out the door and give them some privacy. Maddie practically glowed each time she looked at Chimney. "You were showing me the security app."

"Alright Pivot!" Eddie called from outside and the FRIENDS reference made Jane laugh loudly, which earned her a confused look from the budding romance in the middle of the living room before the duo turned back to their interaction and Jane looked back to her screen to see if she could get the couch in brighter colors than gray.

"Okay, so, basically, you can check everything on here," he showed her the screen on the iPad. At that point, grunting came from the doorway as the boys were navigating the couch through the arches in the entryway. It was so loud that Jane looked away from the screen back to Buck and Eddie. They were struggling and grumbling in comedically dramatic ways that made her chuckle to herself.

"Lift with your legs!" Chimney stopped his explanation to order the younger men with a teasing grin towards Jane.

"PIVOT!" she bellowed from her seat, causing Buck and Eddie to startle, which made Buck accidentally drop the couch on his foot with a lot of cursing. Although Jane could hear Eddie laughing from behind the blocked doorway, a laugh which matched her own.

"Dammit Jane," Buck hissed, but the woman just continued to laugh as she looked back to the computer.

"Well, that's great," Maddie was saying to Chimney's explanation, ignoring them, "cause now if I hear a noise in the middle of the night, I don't have to get out of bed to know it's the ice maker."

"It's worse if you have a cat," Jane informed the woman as she selected to see an overstuffed couch in a fun shade of magenta that was forty percent off. "Felix knocks everything over and then stalks like a ninja back into the bedroom when I check it out. On bad nights, sleep is worse than elusive."

At that point, Buck and Eddie finally made it through the archway and set down Maddie's classy white sofa. Jane looked at it carefully. While she didn't necessarily dislike a white sofa, she wanted to be able to sprawl with her artificially cheesy chips without worrying about stains. Yeah, she couldn't do that with a white couch.

"Hey, thank you guys for helping me on your day off!" Maddie looked at Buck and Eddie gratefully.

Eddie always the gentleman was quick to reassure her. "Don't worry about it. Jane," he looked over at her, "want me to bring you a few slices?"

Knowing that he was going for the pizza, Jane looked up at him and smiled her bright smile that always made him happy to see it. "Yes, please. Then I want your opinion!"

He rolled his eyes lightly, knowing that since the chips disagreement she'd had fun asking for his opinions on random things just to see what else she could tease him for. Smiling in response, he looked back at Maddie and went to take the pizzas. "Plates?"

"Countertop. Kitchen," she responded shortly. He nodded, took the pizzas, and followed where she pointed. The sight of Eddie Diaz, sweating in a white t-shirt and a flannel while moving furniture was...something else and Jane couldn't help but allow her eyes to linger on him as he walked away.

"Beer?" Chimney asked, handing Maddie the iPad and clapping his hands together.

"Uh, also kitchen, fridge."

"Clever," was his response and they gave each other smiley grins.

Maddie looked at Jane and Buck and pointed her thumb towards the kitchen where the two men had gone.

"He is so cute."

"Yeah, he gets that a lot. Uh, you should meet his kid though."

Jane didn't know how to respond to Buck's assumptions. First, she was slightly irritated that he couldn't see that Maddie and Chimney had chemistry. Second, was he trying to set Maddie up with Eddie? The second question brought up a whole host of feelings that Jane, who was still on a low dosage of pain meds, was not ready to analyze.

Fortunately, Buck realized his mistake with Maddie's next comment.

"Wait," her eyes were wide, "Chimney has a kid?"

"No, I-I thought you meant..." Buck stuttered, but Maddie rolled her eyes as she turned to Jane. "Can I get you a drink? We're all going to come back out here to eat on the floor since my kitchen table isn't ready yet?"

"Soda and another water please," Jane smiled. When Maddie left, Buck turned to his friend, startled.

"Chimney?" he asked, causing Jane to smile wide.

"He's not that old, Bucky boy," she said lightly. "They'd be cute together."

"I guess I just...I never thought of him as someone who would date."

"You thought the same thing about me. It was as offensive then as it is now, boyo."

Buck sighed, "You're right." 

"I know," Jane sighed.

Before Buck could say anything else that might accidentally insult one of his friends, Eddie came back out to the living room balancing two plates of pizza, two bottles of water, a bottle of beer and a soda. It was a precarious balance for anyone else, but the ex-military man juggled it all with ease. The sight made Jane smile up at him.

"You ever have a job as a waiter?" 

"No," he responded easily, handing Jane a plate of pizza and her two drinks which she sat down on the small end table they'd sat next to her two hours into the move. He proceeded to set down his own plate and drinks and sat on the floor at Jane's feet. "I worked at a mechanic shop in high school. I was one of the fortunate few to not have a job in the food service industry."

Jane shook her head in exaggerated woe. "I was a waitress through college, and you put all my skills to shame. You'd make a killing in tips, especially if you wore the apron. Chicks dig a uniform."

"Why do you think I joined the army? Or the firefighters?" he smiled up at her with his teeth, his head upside down as he took in her teasing grin. "I'll be sure to add waiter to my back up list of careers then."

"Be sure to put it under personal chauffer," she smiled down at him. "You've gotten practice these past couple of weeks." It had become a habit that on the days that Hen and Karen were busy, Chimney, Buck, and Eddie would take her to her doctor's appointments. Funny enough, some of her appointments had coincided with Christopher's trips to his specialists for his check ups so the three of them had, had fun going back and forth.

They sat like that for a long moment, smiling at each other, Eddie's dark hair practically laying across Jane's knees, her face light with joy as she beamed down at him. It was a simple picture that Chimney and Maddie caught as they came back into the room.

The two sent each other a knowing smile as they sat down. In a rare moment for Jane and Eddie, they looked peaceful.

..........

A few days later, Jane was worried about her Captain. Bobby hadn't responded to her text messages and her call had gone to voicemail. This had put her on edge, and now that she was off her pain medication and could drive again, she planned to confront the source. Unfortunately, she was not prepared for the sight that met her at the station house. Her crew was all there, but so was a large camera and an assertive news anchor.

Any hope she might have had to escape the clutches of this scenario unscathed were eliminated when she saw that the woman was talking to Bobby.

"Oh, uhum," Jane looked at the camera uncomfortably as she approached. "Captain, what's going on here?"

Bobby opened his mouth, theoretically to explain the presence of the camera, but before he could, the most forcefully cheerful voice that Jane had ever heard interrupted whatever he would have said.

"You must be Jane Thomas," a petite redhead approached her enthusiastically gesturing for the camera to set its sights on her. "I've heard everything about you!"

"Everything?" Jane's eyes widened involuntarily. "Uhum...I'm sorry. Who are you?"

"Taylor Kelly," she said, smile never leaving her face. "I'm here doing a story on the 118 and the heroes who work here and I know Los Angeles would love to hear all about you and everything you've overcome. That incident with John Willis must have been traumatic." The very thought of talking about that with a camera in front of her made Jane blanch.

"Well, I'm sorry Ms. Kelly, but I am not on the job right now," Jane moved to walk around the redhead but instead of allowing her to evade, Taylor Kelly just stepped with her. That made Jane a bit snappier.

"Right now," she reiterated, "I'm a private citizen and I will not be participating, and I don't give you permission to record me."

"I don't think you understand, Firefighter Thomas. I have permission from Chief Alanzo's office to ask questions of the firehouse to get this story."

"I think you'll find that your permission will only extend to on duty firefighters and even when I'm on the clock, you will not get anything out of me, and I doubt the Fire Chief will argue with that. My scars are not for public viewing." She turned to Bobby, her expression hard and a bit desperate. "Now, Captain, I need to speak with you privately. Now." 

"Come into my office," Bobby stepped between them, shielding Jane from Talor Kelly's nosy behavior. "We'll talk privately."

Jane followed him, paying no attention to the looks that the news anchor and the camera man were shooting her way. She didn't see her crew, so she assumed they were out on a call or upstairs in the rec room. Bobby's office was on the ground floor, in the very back corner of the firehouse, removed from the hustle and bustle of the crew members.

"That woman," Jane fumed as the door to Bobby's office closed behind them. "How can she just so casually bring up what I went through."

"You alright? I don't know that I've seen you so ready to defend yourself. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," Jane smiled at him. "But she's not what I came to talk about. I mean I didn't even realize she'd be here."

"Well," Bobby averted his eyes, "what did you need to talk about? You are back on shift in just a few days."

"Yes, and you haven't responded to my texts or my calls. I know what today is. It's her birthday, right? You know what kind of a mess I was in January. I came to see how you were handling it."

"Brook would have been thirteen..."

"And she would have been beautiful."

"Yeah. She'd be beautiful."

"I also bet she's watching over you and is just as proud of her dad as she ever was."

"I don't see how," Bobby shut his eyes. "I'm better some days, almost, but then I'm dragged back down."

"Can I make a recommendation?" Jane asked tentatively. "If it isn't too painful, try opening up to Athena. Or call me. Just...don't let yourself drown in the darkness."

"I'll do my best. I have no intention of falling off the wagon if that's what you are worried about."

Jane thought about how she felt last January. She didn't want to drink. She'd wanted to stop existing. "That's not all I'm worried about Bobby, and you know it. I'll let you all get back to your shift and avoiding Taylor Kelly but call me if you need me. Talk to Athena."

"Bye Jane and thank you. I'm glad you stopped by, even if it was just for a minute and even if it was just to chastise me. I was...avoiding you because I was avoiding this."

"I know," she whispered. "I don't know how I'll be on January 23rd this year, but feel free to shake me out of my stupor on the 24th."

"I will," he told her. "I...I'll try to talk to her."

"You don't know how happy that makes me," Jane said lightly with a smile.

"I think I can. Bye Jane...again."

"Goodbye Bobby."

.........

"Two weekends of pizza and beer," Jane responded lightly, in an effort to curb her panic at the prospect of going back into her apartment. She was currently standing outside the door, Buck, Hen, Eddie, Bobby, Chimney, Farrah, and Karram were all behind her, waiting to help her move out. But first, she had to unlock the door and go in. "Sounds like a fun time."

"You can drink again?" Buck asked, taking part of the bait Jane had dangled in front of them to distract from the fact that she was in fact scared to walk into her old apartment, even for the few hours it would take to pack up the entire thing and leave the keys for the cleaners who would be coming the next day.

"Technically yes," she responded, "I'm off my meds, but Farrah, Karram, and I are going to settle for soda." You weren't supposed to drink when you were sad, and Jane knew that going into this apartment was going to be an emotional whirlwind.

Farrah, who was standing directly to her left reached over and squeezed her hand comfortingly. "No time like the present. Gotta rip the band-aid off."

"Yeah," Jane squeezed her hand back. "I know." 

And so, her hands surprisingly steady, Jane reached out and unlocked her door. The click of the lock unfastening seemed to reverberate through her body, echoing in her brain. But it was like Farrah said, she needed to rip off the band-aid. She wouldn't have to stay here, and she was not going in here alone.

With one more fortifying breath, she pushed the door open and walked in. At first, it was fine, and it was like coming back home again after a long shift. She could see her favorite sweater hanging on her coat rack and it was so familiar. Then, her eyes went directly to the living area and she froze up. Unbidden, the sight of a man holding her down and strangling the life from her entered her mind and she visibly flinched. The sudden jerk of her body caused the entire group to all to stop, hovering in the doorway, and look at her in concern.

"Please. Stop. Please stop." Her cries echoed in the empty space, and it was like her breath was being taken from her again.

"Uhum," Jane stuttered out, trying to speak over through the flaring pain in her throat. Her eyes were latched onto the rug.

"You alright?" Farrah squeezed her hand again, and that feeling helped bring her back to the present.

"Yeah," she gasped out. "If the guys don't mind, maybe we should dump the rug too. I'm not taking that with me and honestly it hurts to look at it."

Seeing her face, drained of all color and back to the sickly white it had been in the hospital, Hen turned on them all. "Alright, Buck, Eddie, Bobby, and Karram, we will start in here. Buck, Eddie, Bobby, if you guys will start with the yellow sofa, Karram you can carry the rug, and Chimney and I will get the coffee table. Jane, if you and Farrah can just figure out where you want to start, and we'll be back up here soon enough to help pack. We'll be out of here and across town before three." 

"Let's start in the bathroom and then move to the bedroom, alright?" Farrah suggested. "We don't want the boys working in there and mucking things up."

Jane didn't respond, but she allowed herself to be led away, taking in the last time she'd see any of her living room furniture. New furniture. New apartment. New Start. 

Around noon, Buck, Eddie, and Karram went to pick up her new furniture and drop it off at her new apartment. They'd be back around one with the pizza. Hen and Bobby were carrying down the packed boxes from the kitchen while Farrah and Jane were sitting in her bedroom, bathroom already packed up and heading downstairs, folding the numerous scarves that they'd taken down from the wall.

To be honest, it felt like scarves had taken over the room and exploded all over them. Farrah and Jane were practically buried in them, even as they managed to fold them up and put them in boxes.

"Too. Many. Scarves," Farrah grunted dramatically.

"NEVER!" Jane yelled, matching her dramaticisms with a posh accent.

"Definitely!"

"You are just jealous."

"Probably," she admitted. "I love the colors."

"I'll help you find some of the better ones the next time we go antiquing," Jane smiled at her.

They worked in silence for a few more moments. Jane was able to distract herself from her panic by working, but Farrah had been stewing over something that had bothered her since she walked into Jane's apartment. She'd been to the place before, and she genuinely felt that it was comforting and bright and reflected her friend well, but something was always off about it. It was only now that Farrah realized what it was.

"You know," Farrah started, "given your personality, I almost expected this place to be covered in photos, but I haven't seen one. I think we need to get you the pictures we took at my wedding and bridal shower for you. You should also get some of you and the crew. Decorate your new home."

"Yeah," Jane said softly. She wanted one of those. When she finally felt that she had a home, her greatest wish was to fill it with pictures of everyone in her life who she loved. Her hallways would be covered in photographs of her loved ones. She'd have one of those refrigerators that were covered in drawings and report cards, and even more pictures that her family would produce. A real home with a big messy family. That's what she wanted. That's everything she wanted.

Although, she had two pictures. They were in frames, to keep them safe from any more damage than they'd already been through. The pictures were of a younger Jane and of a little boy in a wheelchair. Those pictures were packed away discreetly in her box of sweaters to be kept safe. Those were pictures that she didn't keep out because it was too painful. Maybe someday...

But aloud, she kept her response simple. "I guess I always thought that the pictures in your house are of all of your family and friends. I think that since I always feel like that large piece of me is missing, that I don't want a reminder that their photo was missing on my wall.... It's silly, I know."

"Well, their photo doesn't necessarily have to be missing," Farrah said cautiously.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that DNA tests are becoming a lot more common. It would be relatively simple to buy a subscription to one of those sites and...well. Have you ever thought of submitting your DNA and seeing if you can find your birth family?" Farrah's voice was soft when she said this.

"I've thought about it, but it would be expensive to cover all of the costs."

"It's not like this would be a frivolous expense, and you don't know who could be out there."

"You are right. I have no idea who could be out there. For all I know, I'll just walk in on people who abandoned me at a Firehouse. Or better yet, I'll find people who had no idea I even existed and are angry that this stranger is now claiming to be family and interrupting their happy world."

"OR," Farrah said, "you could find people who have missed having you in their life and who want that relationship. The truth is, we have no idea who your family is. It could be good or bad, but don't you owe it to yourself to find out? Don't you owe it to yourself to try to find that piece of you that you believe is missing?"

"But...what if they don't like me? Should I really just spend my savings only to be rejected?" Jane's fear was real and palpable. She didn't know how she'd be able to handle more rejection in her life. At the same time though, Farrah was right. She owed this to herself.

"First," Farrah stated firmly, "only an idiot wouldn't like you, because you are the biggest sweetheart in the world. Second, if they are related to you, they have to at least be somewhat smart, so they won't be idiots."

"I wish it worked like that," Jane replied lightly.

"I do too," Farrah sighed. "I can't promise that it will be what you've dreamed about, what I've prayed for you to find, but I think that once you have these answers, then you will feel more capable of moving forward."

"But what is forward?"

"Oh," Farrah said lightly, "I don't know. It could be with the handsome ex-soldier who is out picking up your magenta couch."

"Quiet," Jane hissed. "It's not like that between us. We just...we understand each other. We are friends."

"Friends?" her eyebrows raised.

"Good friends," Jane squeaked out.

"And how," she asked, "does this good friend make you feel?"

"You know how I told you that my medications made me drowsy and dopey and happy?"

"Yes?" she answered, confused.

"He makes me feel like I've just taken a dose of those happy meds."

"Good," Farrah said. "So happy could be your future, but you won't know until you can move forward."

"And I can't move forward without knowing," Jane finished.

"Hey, you said it. I didn't."

"I know you did," Jane smiled. "That's why we are friends, because you have the courage to make me face myself. Love you, Farrah."

"Awe!" she gave her a hug from under the pile of scarves. "I love you too. I'm so happy you'll be living in our building."

New furniture. New apartment. New building. New start.

.........

On the Friday evening following their moving party, Jane was lying at home, reading the newest Hollis Harcourt murder novel. She had plenty of unpacking to do. She probably should have started dinner, but she'd decided to order out because she was feeling exhausted from the past few weeks and needed to relax. Poor little Felix did too. He was lying on her stomach, letting out little purrs as she stroked his back with one hand, reading her book with the other. They were lying in a comfortable silence, the kind they hadn't had in over a month. It was lovely. Little did Jane know that across town, her crew were in trouble, having eaten brownies laced with hallucinogens, and that she'd be needed to step in for the 118 a few days ahead of schedule.  

Jane had just reached the third murder when her cell phone rang, interrupting the gory atmosphere of the novel. Exasperated, as she was certain she knew who the killer was, she picked up her phone and glanced at the caller ID: Chimney.

"Hey!" she answered cautiously.

"Hey Jane," he said chuckling in his I-don't-want-to-do-this tone. "You have a minute?"

"Yeah," she responded slowly. "What do you all need?"

"Is there a way you can come pick up Eddie? I would but someone has to take over and call-in people to take over the last few hours of this shift. Maddie came and got Buck, Athena is taking care of Bobby, and Karen is dealing with Hen. I don't exactly feel comfortable calling his grandma, who is his emergency contact, because he's high. It just looks like a condition you don't want your grandma to see you in."

"HE'S HIGH?! ON THE JOB?! WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"Oh..." Chimney trailed off on the line. "I didn't explain that part?"

"No, Chimney. This is the tone of voice I use when I'm in the know. You've been crystal clear!"

"Touchy, touchy. Ok, so we were eating a bunch of those baked goods that come in and there were these fudge brownies that...well they were special brownies, laced with some kind of hallucinogenic."

"I've told you lot time and time again that I make plenty of baked goods. We know mine are safe and we shouldn't eat the ones from strangers all the time. I told you, we don't know what people put into those!" Felix gave her an indignant meow in response to her raising her voice, but she shushed him and gave him a comforting pet of apology.

"Yeah yeah," he squawked. "You can lecture the lot of us when you come back on the job. Anyway, they were taken into the hospital, and they'll be fine, but someone needs to make sure they come down from their high safely. As I said before, everyone is taken care of but Eddie."

"You're at the back of the shift?" she confirmed.

"Yeah. Shift should be over in three hours or so."

"Okay," Jane said thoughtfully, thinking. "You know who has Christopher? Carla or Pepa?"

"No," Chimney admitted, "But I'm sure that if you ask him in about an hour, he could be coherent enough to tell you."

"Dammit."

"Language!" he chastised like a scandalized virgin maiden.

"Oh, shut it," Jane snapped. "Alright, I'm coming to pick him up, but he better not puke in my car." It sounded harsh for the woman, but honestly, she was worried. Her entire crew could have been hurt on the job if they were high, or worse they could have been poisoned!"

Jane gently cradled Felix and put him at the end of the couch and surrounded him in his favorite blanket. Then, she turned her tv on and started streaming Seinfeld, electric bill be damned, he earned this.

"I love you. I have to go pick up Eddie and take him home. I might have to stick around and help him with things, but I should still be back tonight. I'll call Farrah to come check on you though. Love you. Bye Felix!" She kissed the cat on his head and then hurried into a pair of shoes and out the door. 

It took some bickering with Chimney and some finagling with Eddie to convince him to leave the hospital.

"Jane!" he came up and gave her a big hug, causing her to nearly collapse under his weight. "They tied me up! I didn't like it! I cried!"

She looked desperately over to Chimney who shrugged. "We restrained their wrists and yeah, he cried."

"You have his keys?"

"Here," he handed her his keys, his phone, and his wallet, which they'd taken from him when they restrained him.

She had no words to respond to something like that, so she simply reached up and stroked Eddie's hair with one hand and took the offered items in the other. It was just like she'd done with Felix earlier. "I'm very sorry to hear that. Now, are you ready to go home? Get some sleep? I'm here to take you home."

"Home," he pulled back and offered her a dopey smile. "I like home. Home is like an apple tree."

"An apple tree?"

"Yeah," he began as Jane said goodbye to Chimney and started to gently lead him out to her car. "It's an apple tree."

"How is it an apple tree?" she tried to keep him distracted.

"It's where your roots are from, and then the house is the trunk where you and your squirrel family live. Then the apples are the fruit of it all. Its what you do in your life and your reward."

"Wow," Jane muttered. "That almost makes sense. You are philosophical when you are high. Got it." As gently as she could, she pushed him into her passenger seat and then ran over to the driver's seat. Before anything else, she locked the doors, and she locked the windows so his buttons wouldn't work. The last thing she needed was for him to dive out when they were on the highway.

Fortunately, they made it back to his house without incident. The problem was that he'd gotten sleepy and fell asleep on the way home. With absolutely no grace at all, Jane grunted as she nearly deadlifted this tall and muscular man and carted him up to his front steps.

"You are so pretty," he murmured as she struggled to hold him up and open the door at the same time.

"Thank you, Eddie," Jane grunted under his weight. She didn't particularly believe his compliment at the moment, as she was grunting and sweating after so many weeks off the job. "You're pretty too, but I have a question, who has Christopher right now?"

"Carla has Chris," Eddie responded and then his eyes widened. "Do you see the lights?"

They'd just walked into his house, and she'd flipped on his light switch.  

"Yes, Eddie," Jane said cautiously. "Those are lights."

"They are pretty like you. You are so sparkly. Pretty."

She let out a chuckle. The lights he was pointing at her plain stainless steel hanging light fixtures, but she wasn't sure about what Eddie was seeing. For all she knew, he could be seeing the brightest of colors, so it could be a compliment. Sort of. She continued to grunt and struggle, nearly tripping over one of his rugs, but eventually, she made it back to Eddie's bedroom and flopped him unceremoniously onto his bed.

He appeared fascinated at the soft texture of the sheets and so he crawled up the bed and curled himself around a pillow in the fetal position, cooing about how soft it was, like a lamb.

"Eddie," she said lowly, hoping that she could cut through the fog for a minute. "Should I call Pepa and ask if she can take Christopher? I don't think you want him to see you like this."

That was putting it mildly. Jane knew that when he sobered, if he heard that Chris had seen him so out of it, then he would be devastated. Eddie took on so much emotionally with Christopher and from what she'd seen and heard, she figured out that he didn't feel like he could be weak and have a son. Her mind went back to their encounter at the wedding, about his fear of failing the people who need him the most. Eddie seemed to think that being human, having human weaknesses, showing those weaknesses would mean that he failed as a father. She would hate to see his confidence in fatherhood destroyed because of this accident.

"Yeah," he murmured. "Call her."

"I'll take this as you breaking through the haze. I'll be back with a bottle of water. I might make you soup or grilled cheese or something. Eating should help you sober up," she turned to go, but then she startled as his hand suddenly reached out and grabbed hers.

"Sometimes," he gasped out desperately, "when I wake up from a nightmare, I remember what you said at the wedding. 'Today is going to be a good day.' It makes me feel better, and then it makes me think about you. I think about your kindness and then I think about your smile and then your lips. I remember what I was like to kiss you and I want to do it again but then I remember how it can't happen again. You're too good for me. You wouldn't like me if you knew the kind of person I am, and you are a kind person. The best."

She closed her eyes at his words, trying to process what he'd just told her. Everything he was saying made her heart hurt. He remembered her stupid saying. He used it to help him after his nightmares, which, as a veteran, she was sure he had plenty of. He thought about her. But then there was that voice in her head again. He was high. He had no idea what he was saying. He'd regret he got sober again.

When she opened her eyes, and looked down at where he was laying, she saw that he was asleep. Oblivious to the world and to the wrecking ball he'd unleashed on her heart.

Still, she couldn't just stand around and worry about herself. Christopher. He was more important than anything else going on right then. She took out her cell phone and walked into the kitchen, dialing Pepa.

"Hola, querida! To what do I owe this surprise call?"

"Hello, Pepa. I'm sorry to impose, but there was a problem with Eddie at work. He's alright," she rushed to assure the older woman before she could imagine the worst, "he just caught some type of bug on the job or something. He's worried about Chris catching it, although we are sure its just a 24-hour thing. Is there anyway you can take Chris tonight?"

"Of course I can take him," she assured the younger woman, but then her tone grew arch. "Although, I might ask why you are calling and not anyone else? Why can't my nephew come to the phone?"

"He's..." she grasped for words and stuck with honesty. "He's a bit delirious and he's already asleep. I'm just making sure he's settled at home before leaving." She'd stay just long enough to make sure that he drank water, ate food, and didn't accidentally hurt himself, and then she'd head back home.

"I understand. Have you called Carla? He had a project, so I believe they went out to the library."

"I haven't but I'll call her now."

"Alright then," Pepa said, but then she paused and then she spoke as if she were thinking hard about something. "You take care of him now."

"Will do. Thank you Pepa. Bye."

"Bye querida."

She then called Carla with the same story, and like that, Christopher was taken care of. If only Eddie were that easy. She grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and went and woke him up, forcing him to drink both of them. They went down quickly so he was likely dehydrated by whatever drugs were in his system, and he promptly went back to sleep.

This of course, led her into his kitchen where she scrounged up bread, cheese, and tomato soup for a basic dinner that would go down easy. When she went back into the bedroom the second time, Eddie wasn't in bed and was just coming out of his bathroom. He gave her a confused expression and his eyes, that had been glossed over, were clearer than they had been. Between the water and the fluids at the hospital he must have begun to sober up.

"What happened?" he asked, as she led him back to bed.

"You ate hallucinogenic brownies. Chimney brought you to the hospital and called me and I brought you home."

"Christopher!" he tried to get up, but she put the food she was carrying on his end table and pushed him back down on to the bed.

"Not so fast! I already called Carla and Pepa. Christopher is staying with your Aunt tonight."

"Thank God," he breathed out.

"Yeah. I didn't think you'd want him to see you like this."

"Definitely not. Thank you."

"You are welcome. Now, eat this sandwich and soup."

Much like the water, the food was gone quickly. She had to caution him to slow down, for fear that what he took down might come back up, but he seemed fine.

"Hallucinogen you said?"

"Yeah."

"Awe man. I do anything crazy?"

"No," Jane said, "but I learned that you are a hugger. You hugged all the cops who brought you to the hospital and the doctor. You hugged Chimney and you hugged me. I had to pry you off to get you in my car." 

"Shit," he muttered. "Did I say anything crazy?"

"There may have been words spoken."

"What did I say?"

"Nothing of consequence," she replied breezily.

"Really?" he asked, unsure.

"Really," she wasn't going to bring up the wedding. To bring that up would ruin this piece of safety and comfort they had as friends. She wasn't going to risk that on intoxicated ramblings. She couldn't. Her friendship with Eddie was growing too precious to her.

"Alright. I...I'm glad you are here Jane. I don't know what I would have done without you taking care of me and keeping Chris away."

"No thanks needed. We're friends."

"Yeah. Friends."

That's the way it would have to be. 

Author's Note (Because I Never Shut Up): So things are happening BUT you know what happens in the next episode, so how does this work? Well I guess you'll find out. Let's just say that I have yet to see a FF do what I have in mind for this. Hope you like it. I'm still editing, but I knew I needed to get this chapter out there. Also, in case you don't follow me and get my status updates, if you haven't feel free to go back and reread Full Moon (Crazy AF). I added to that chapter in my editing madness, which I'm still working on, and I think you all will love the addition of more 118 and more Eddie. 

Thank you all for over 10,000 reads! Add to Library and Reading Lists! Read! Comment! Tell me what you are thinking! I want to know what you all will think I'll do to the new character! Vote! 

Song for the chapter is Wonderwall by Oasis.