"Hello. Welcome to Relationship Helpline. How may I help you today?"


"She's making it hard for me to not just punch that douchébag in his face!"


"Easy there! What happened this time?"


"He is purposely being all mushy when I am around!"


"Looks like his try of making you jealous is working."


"What should I do?"


"Ignore them."


"Like I didn't try that before."


"Eyy! Don't use that sarcasm before me. I am just trying to help."


"Who even employed you?"


"My boss, duh."


"Why the fuck I even called on this helpline?!"


"Because you need help?"


"Shut up!"


••••••••


School or college?