towards the end of this chap,
they talk about taehyung's past.
i know those topics are disturbing,
so this is a warning and i will put
a marker if you wish to skip it.

i would never ask someone
to push their boundaries so
pls do what is best for you💙

—

"You little annoying bunny bitch, telling me absolutely nothing when I've been itching to know for the past twenty four hours—"

"Boyfriends." Jungkook mumbled, not even sure if it was audible.

"—and I helped him with it yesterday! I want to know what level of emotional crushing my best friend suffered with that flawless night— wait, what? Did you just say boyfriends?"

Jimin was a frozen statue standing by Jungkook's seated figure.

"Boyfriends." Jungkook ducked his head, hiding his face in his hands.

"Shut up." Jimin gasped.

"You've been wanting me to spill all day and now you're saying to shut—"

"You're fucking lying!" Jimin jumped on top of him, shaking his shoulders and Jungkook groaned, shoving him off and huffing as the dancer jumped around the room. "My best friend just got snatched— what— no way— this isn't real, I swear this isn't—"

"It is real!" Jungkook defended, pulling his knees to his chest and hiding in the gap. He let out a frustrated noise and caved in on himself. "Why do you sound so much more excited than I was?"

"Because after like four fucking years, you landed yourself a forever boy. Kim Taehyung. Oh, god, I'm calling Joonie. He's going to be speechless, Jungkook do you even realize how amazing this is?"

"You're scaring me."

Jimin plopped down beside him, already holding his phone and ringing Namjoon up. "You don't mean that."

"Just— is it really that unbelievable?"

"What? Kook, no, that's not why I'm screaming." Jimin immediately shut the thought down. "I've literally been the one saying to go for it!"

"I know, I know—"

"Listen, okay. You deserve him. I'm not shocked because you landed Korea's top model, I don't even see Taehyung like that half the time. He's a friend. I'm just screaming because my best friend finally got a partner."

"Woah, woah, woah, the fuck did I miss?"

"Joonie Hyung," Jungkook screamed into his sleeved fist. "Crap, I forgot Jimin called you for a 'sec, but, uh..."

"How was the release? How did it go last night?"

"Well, baby, our precious bun got himself—"

"Jimin, I didn't ask you."

"Oh, shit. Okay, shutting up." Jimin fumbled on his own words, eyes widening. "Think I felt that in my dick."

"Hyung, shut up." Jungkook cried.

Namjoon chuckled in the speaker. "He's just touch deprived, bun, but tell me. I don't wanna jump to conclusions."

"I— uh— well, we ate some food, lamb skewers, I'm sure Jiminie told him that it's my favorite because I don't know how the hell he would have guessed that on his own."

"He's a genius." Jimin teased.

"That's your boyfriend." Jungkook slapped him, another low laugh trickling through the speaker. A second later, the screen changed to a video call request and the younger quickly accepted.

"Want to see your guys' faces." Namjoon clarified and Jimin sent him a flying kiss before turning to Jungkook to continue.

"It's good to see you, Hyung." Jungkook smiled wide at the encouraging smile on Namjoon's face, embarrassment making it waver. "After food we were talking a bit and then just a... we, uh..."

"You what? Say it!"

"Minie, give him time."

"I gave him the whole damn day!"

"Jimin."

"I'm impatient, sue me."

"Joonie Hyung, please can I duct tape his mouth shut?"

Namjoon huffed. "Just ignore him and go on."

"Ignore me? You both suck." Jimin pouted, falling against Jungkook, the younger catching him while juggling the phone he'd somehow ended up holding. "Now spill, you fucking fetus."

Namjoon was smiling fondly at the two toppled on each other on the couch, Jungkook grumbling as Jimin's elbow pierced his side, their shifting awkward until they found some comfortable position squished together.

"We cuddled on the couch." The younger eventually mumbled.

"Say that again? I didn't hear you—"

"Cuddled! We cuddled, and then the song played and we danced in his living room, cried a wholeass ocean, and then— then I... uh, said the three words."

Jimin froze against him, mid-giggle, the sound dwindling away in shocked subdue, Namjoon's brow raising on the screen.

"You told him you love him?"

"It just felt right." Jungkook nervously let out. "I do love him. It was the perfect time to say it."

"Damn, that sounds nice, bun, and after that? How'd he respond?"

Jungkook squirmed at the memory of their first kiss, hiding in Jimin's shoulder, muffling his voice again. "Kissed me."

"Oh my god—" Jimin whipped his head around to look at him. The older shifted to look at him, swiftly sitting up and blinked sharply. Jungkook pulled his hood down and cowered behind the fabric shield. "This is nothing like what Taehyung was talking about on the interviews."

"Not like he's going to just be public about that." Namjoon reasoned and Jimin nodded, the dancer noticing Jungkook shaky hands.

"What's wrong?" The elder asked the photographer, reaching for his hand and holding it.

"Nothing's wrong," Jungkook pushed his hood back and frowned. "I'm literally just jittery with nerves— honestly, last night was the best night of my life. Getting down from that high is taking some time."

"You did great on that radio call."

"You listened to that?" Jimin's lips parted in surprise.

"Idiots, I've been staying updated with your crazy lives the whole time. Saw BigHit retweet the station's announcement about it and tuned in at the right time."

"You're just so perfect." Jimin leaned back to lay against Jungkook. "But he's right, Kook, I also thought you did amazing."

"Thank you, I really did try. The only time I know I messed up was when I hesitated with the friend thing. I just second guessed myself and now there's probably someone catching on."

"Did you? I didn't notice." Namjoon reassured. "You have been all over the news, though. Both you and Kim."

He had seen that. Every gossip page, every music news site, the daily celebrity update reels— his social media blew up even more than it already had.

"You're one of the biggest talks of the country right now." Jimin mumbled. The dancer knew him all too well; how Jungkook wouldn't show it on his face, but somewhere it would take a toll.

"Stay safe in public, bun." Namjoon also said softly.

"I will. I'll do my best."

Jimin smiled and hugged him. "And that's all you can do, okay? We will help you where we can, too."

"Nice to have a boyfriend?" Namjoon nudged the conversation to somewhere more lighthearted. It helped Jungkook feel lifted from defeat.

"More than nice." His smile was shy, cheeks dusting with color. "I mean— it's a little awkward talking to you guys about it, but... he's amazing. Like absolutely wonderful."

Jimin giggled and buried further into his side, making Jungkook roll his eyes. Namjoon let out a small laugh on the phone, dimples carving with the wide smile.

"I hope he treats you well."

"Don't worry, Joonie, I'll be here to beat him up if he doesn't."

"Hyung, you won't need to beat him up." Jungkook groaned. "He even told me to be honest with him twenty-four-seven. About the whole fame thing."

"That's good. I didn't expect him to be inconsiderate about it."

Jimin poked his side, making Jungkook's blush deepen. "He's the last person to be in inconsiderate about anything related to Kook. How's your plan working?"

"Oh, yeah, is he doing better?"

"I think so. I won't talk about his personal things too much, but I feel like he's happier every day. He takes more breaks and gives himself time off—"

"—to spend with you."

"Okay," Jungkook shooed the sly expression on his best friend's face away. "Regardless, it's good for him and that's all that matters."

"You both really deserve each other, you know."

"I do know." The photographer sighed, smiling again. "Just want him to heal from Bubblegum Bitch."

"Bubblegum who now?" The dancer laughed. "How old are you? Twelve?"

"Bogum," Jungkook groaned. "We nicknamed him. Thought it would help lighten the mood."

"Definitely is effective." Namjoon chuckled. The joy died off in an instance. "Nothing that man did was light."

The younger paled and shook his head numbly. "No. It wasn't."

"What exactly did he do?" Jimin mumbled. "I haven't looked much into the news of it."

"It best be Jungkook who explains it to you, I know he knows more than any of us do." Namjoon sighed. "I'll get back to work. I have to prepare for an author visit."

"Bye, baby," Jimin nodded. "Good luck."

"Thanks, Minie. Bye, bun."

— warning marker ; pls skip if you wish —

Jungkook nodded, throat dry and scorched of all syllables to speak. The call ended and the room fell into silence. Jimin was watching him, treading carefully and opting out.

"This can wait, okay? I was just curious because I haven't looked myself—"

"Bad. Really fucking bad." Jungkook whispered, eyes teary and dazed. Jimin pulled away from their scrunched position and sat up. The younger's blood had drained to a pearly skinned state and he raised his hand to take Jimin's. "I'll tell you. Only things that were public."

"I know, that's all I'm wondering. Keep the private things private." The dancer immediately nodded. "Take your time. I was kidding early. You can really tell me later."

"I'll tell you," he sniffed, clasping his hands together and sitting up, legs folding as his body caved in. "They met when Taehyung was twenty one. At some work event, not sure. But they hit it off."

"They dated for a year right?" Jimin recalled.

"And that's like a lifetime in their world, Minie." The younger shuddered. "Always looked happy on the screens, the perfect couple— that couple. Like you and Joonie in high school, but in the big world."

"When did things go wrong?"

"Taehyung took it. Apparently took the slowly obsessive shift in private and never showed. It started a couple months before they fell apart."

"How is that even public information? Please tell me you didn't just tell me a secret of his."

"No, he had to make a statement. Didn't have a choice, not when Bogum came out and stirred the lies first."

"What the hell? That's so bad, he didn't even get to control a thing at all."

"His life's hardly private." Jungkook smiled sadly. "I'm probably the most private part about it. The obsessiveness got worse and it was at— there was this charity event thing— he, uh—"

The younger suddenly choked up on his words and pressed a hand to his mouth, closing his eyes and a jerk of a sob shook his shoulders. Jimin's arms were around him, warm around him and Jungkook stayed deep in the hold.

"T-Tell me you really want to know, Minie, I— you have to tell me you'll be okay knowing."

"I will be, Jungkook." And Jimin would be, even with the softly torn tone drowning his words. "Don't worry. I want to know what a friend of ours has gone through."

And so he nodded and pushed his frustrated anger towards the despicable celebrity down into his chest so he could use his throat and speak clearly.

"He— Bogum got him drinks— too many and too high of an alcohol content. Taehyung didn't even know, but didn't want to make a scene— god, Jimin, he wouldn't even tell Bogum no in front of all those guests." Jungkook gripped his hair and Jimin pulled him closer. "Got him fucking drunk and then pulled him to go in the bathroom—"

Jimin froze. "Isn't that— Jungkook, didn't that happen the second time, too?"

"Why do you think he was so broken apart after the gala?" The younger whispered back, tears falling freely after that. "Bogum choosing that gala was not an accident and I just— fuck, Jimin, they charged him with sexual harassment for what happened three years ago, but it's so fucking obvious that if Tae was dragged to a bathroom, drunk—"

"I know, I know," Jimin shushed him.

"I promise— I know for a fact that he told that fucking asshole no, especially when they fell apart days after but—" Jungkook reached his arms around Jimin and held on tight to the material of his shirt, tears wetting the elder's chest. "Sexual harassment, Jimin, that doesn't even make sense— and after that? Bogum started playing the consensual card, the story was leaked and things went public, blamed the indecency on Taehyung— said his drunk giggly self pulled Bogum in the bathroom— it makes me so fucking sick—"

"Breathe." Jimin halted the stream of words, Jungkook's desperate gasps filling the space instead. "I'm sorry that he went through that."

"The worst part?" He continued anyway, like a waterfall breaking through a dam that had been ripped to shreds. "Bogum was more famous than him at the time and Taehyung struggled in court. The charges got simmered down to harassment and defamation. All Bogum got was a restraint order and some fines. The scars he left, Taehyung faced the worst end of it and he was already the victim."

"What did the fans do?"

"Gas lighted Bogum's lies. That's where the defamation comes from. He almost lost everything. BigHit took such a hit."

"They didn't give up on him."

"They fought for Taehyung. Do you know how rare it is for them not to drop a celebrity who ruins their image?"

"Because they knew that Taehyung was right."

"The truth doesn't always win. That's what I've learned with them." Jungkook laughed bitterly. "When BigHit tried collecting witness testimonies, people who saw Taehyung try to stop Bogum from taking him to the bathroom— did you know that was how he and Hyungsik got super close? He was at the event, too, and the two got so damn close after Hyungsik gave his statement and supported him. Hardly anyone was speaking up, but Hyungsik-shi did."

"I thought they got close on Hwarang's set? The show he was casted in a couple years ago?"

"Hyungsik recommended him for the show to help him build his reputation back. Taehyung deserved it for his talent, though." Jungkook explained. "That— shit, that was private, but yeah."

A few lingering seconds of silence settled between them, Jimin taking in the disturbing reality, Jungkook calming from the disastrous build of adrenaline.

"Damn, no wonder Hoseok and Yoongi absolutely what to murder that guy." Jimin let out a small breath. "Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" Jungkook pulled away, looking anything but.

"You just explained the reason for why the man you love is traumatized, are you okay?" Jimin asked again.

"I want to see Bogum in fucking jail." But his voice was steady.

"You're doing just great." The dancer sighed in relief, pulling him back into his arms and hugging him close. "You told me how Taehyung can't even look himself in the eye."

"Bogum degraded him into dust. Like fireplace ashes that are just charred and worthless." Jungkook gulped back the outward expression of his inner heartbreak.

"You're doing great, Jungkook. With your help, he'll be like... like a phoenix emerging from those ashes."

"He's more gentle than that." Jungkook whispered, shaking his head. "I just— I love him, Jimin, and I want him to love himself, too."

The younger took a small breath and pulled away to look at Jimin, smiling grimly. The dancer cooed and wiped his tears with small fingers.

"Thanks for listening to me. And for wanting to know the truth about his past, he would appreciate that."

"Of course, Jungkook." Jimin frowned, tugging his arm. "Hey, if Taehyung's too gentle to be a phoenix, then what is he?"

Jungkook didn't have to think about it. Taehyung's small gentle caress of a hand, his gentle kiss on his lips, his gentle love slowly welding that shattered heart.

"He's a beautiful flower, blooming from the ashes his burning scars left behind."

—

you're all beautiful people💙💙

this song (its on the playlist now)
is the definition of this book:

"when scars become art"
by gatton, brooke young