open new messages from
v_95✔️ ?
yes | no

v_95
so is it 4 or 5??

v_95
i got confused😭

jjungkookie
SORRY THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT

jjungkookie
but four

jjungkookie
i have a few things I need to get done
and thought you could just join me

v_95
errands

v_95
we are going to run errands??

jjungkookie
important errands ☹️

v_95
okay okay cutie no frowning

v_95
I shall be your plus one on this fine evening

jjungkookie
dress down

jjungkookie
like not gucci down😭😭 actually dress
down

v_95
yeah yeah I got it

v_95
that can be done

v_95
how is ACTUALLY working on your site going

jjungkookie
good actually im almost done and then
I've just got to sift through these floods
of booking requests

v_95
sounds like my manager's emails

v_95
im lucky I don't have to do that

v_95
is jackson hyung okay??

jjungkookie
jackson hyung...????

v_95
jimin said you dipped to go help him
with something yesterday

jjungkookie
oh yeah!! yeah that 😅😅😅😅

jjungkookie
he just needed help with some old camera
he found, said it was urgent

v_95
was it urgent😭

jjungkookie
nO💀💀 he tends to exaggerate a bit

v_95
aish look at you dissing him

jjungkookie
i tend to enjoy crushing the hearts of
people i care about

v_95
ouch wtf that's harsh

jjungkookie
always jokingly ofc

v_95
you haven't crushed mine

jjungkookie
huh

v_95
you haven't "crushed" my heart but
we care about each other right??

jjungkookie
of course i care about you

jjungkookie
i dont have to jokingly diss you to prove
that

v_95
well that's not fair

jjungkookie
tae no i really do care about you, i just
show it differently with you

v_95
i was joking you cutie

jjungkookie
you suck at joking😭😭😭 i got scared

v_95
i tried💔💔 dont get scared

v_95
but show it differently with me?? how so??

jjungkookie
do i have to answer that😶

v_95
you never HAVE to

v_95
I'm just curious as to what's ours

jjungkookie
ours. OURS. O U R S. TAEHYUNG
SHUT UPNWKDJCHDNS
[message unsent]

jjungkookie
well i don't just hold hands with everyone
i care about

v_95
i like holding your hand

jjungkookie
i like holding yours too🥺

v_95
like holding you too

jjungkookie
what the fuck kim taehyung stop it
[message unsent]

v_95
jungkook

jjungkookie
yes?

v_95
did i leave you speechless

jjungkookie
don't tease me😭😭😭

v_95
why not?? it's adorable

jjungkookie
wtaf my cheeks are more burnt than that burger bun joonie hyung burnt black
[message unsent]

jjungkookie
uh sure yes a little speechless

v_95
im glad

jjungkookie
you leave millions speechless smh

v_95
i really only care if it effects you

jjungkookie
goodbye

jjungkookie
this is now unhealthy

jjungkookie
so to be considerate of my poor heart

jjungkookie
i am LEAVING

v_95
did you mean to send those

jjungkookie
yes

jjungkookie
i said fuck it because you're gonna tease
me anyways

v_95
my favorite thing to do angel🥰

jjungkookie
ILL SEE YOU LATER

jjungkookie
AT FOUR

jjungkookie
DONT BE LATE

v_95
if anything YOULL probably be late
just freaking out

jjungkookie
shut up

v_95
your control looks pretty weak angel

How was he supposed to help Taehyung if he couldn't even get his stupid attracted-to-Taehyung braincells to control themselves?

He had to actually survive the effortless teasing of the model before he could help Taehyung.

"Jiminie, how does someone just flirt and not even realize the effect?"

"Oh, he knows what he's doing," his best friend chuckled, chin knocking on his shoulder from where he had been reading over Jungkook's shoulder, chewing on a strawberry in his mouth. "Winter strawberries suck, ugh."

"Then why'd you buy them?" Jungkook pushed the elder away, switching off his phone standing up from his desk. "I'm going on a walk."

"He got you that bad?" Jimin grinned and the photographer punched his shoulder with a grumpy 'shut up.'

"I just want to stretch a little. Wait, I forgot to do my run this morning. I'll do that." Jungkook was already headed for the closet to pick out a thick sweater to replace his t-shirt.

"He got you so bad, you're running it off."

"Did not! I just didn't get my daily one in today!" He snapped, voice muffled as he cornered himself in the corner of the cutout, reaching through his countless dark clothes.

"Why not? You don't usually miss it unless you're traveling." Jimin continued taunting.

"Don't call me." Jungkook threw his discarded shirt at the older male, who hugged it while simultaneously attempting to stay in his seat on the couch and not fall off laughing.

The photographer jammed earbuds into his ears and zipped up his sweater. He just wanted to run and clear his head. He did work out, that had been established, but maybe Jimin wasn't so far off in saying the clearing of his head was clearing a certain model's effect.

He slipped on his shoes, grabbing a few other cold protectors, and glanced back to see Jimin distracted in some video on his phone. Then he stepped out the front door. The BigHit employee complex had exposed hallways, Jungkook smacked in the face with the cold air immediately.

He adjusted his ear warmer and rolled out his ankles, using the descending steps to the ground floor as a quick warm up. His phone sat snug in his sweatpants' zippered pocket, the Bluetooth blasting music into his skull.

His cheeks were red from the bitter air, hands hidden under black gloves as he stayed as inconspicuous on the sidewalks. Running in the winter never bothered him. It was just the extra clench of his chest against the strained breathing, air chilling his lungs like ice water in his throat.

His head cleared with the fresh air, following the path he'd mapped out throughout the week. It was a few miles, but he decided to go easy that time because he still had work to get done before picking Taehyung up.

Picking Taehyung up.

Shit, he didn't have a car with him, it was back home, so how was he supposed to do that?

You're supposed to be getting him out of your head, not back in.

That was literally impossible.

He curved around the outskirts of the residential property, greeting a park not much later. He loved the paths that trickled into quieter lanes, green trees nearly bare with crinkled leaves littered at their roots.

Benches were empty, people hardly to be seen in the chilly temperatures.

It was wonderful.

Until his music suddenly stopped and a ringtone obnoxiously hammered instead.

Jungkook groaned and tapped the side of his ear bud to answer it, his pace slowing ever so slightly to accommodate for the breaths needed to speak.

"Hyung, I thought I said not to call me—"

"I thought you'd want to hear from me, bun."

"Joonie Hyung!" Jungkook almost tripped over his feet in excitement as the deep laughter rolled over the phone. "I've missed you!"

"You don't pick up the phone enough, idiot."

"Sorry," he breathlessly chuckled. "What's up?"

"I should ask you that, it sounds like you're a little... busy. Is this a bad time?"

His red cheeks deepened in color, legs slowing to a walk as he coughed in embarrassment. "Hyung, I'm on a run." He cried. "Headed out for one not long ago."

"I'll never understand how you run and talk. I can't do both." Jungkook could imagine the dimples carving into the book lover's cheeks. "How's everything going there? Anything I should be worried about?"

"Well, uh," He contemplated spilling the truth. His truths. Namjoon was far away, but he was still one of Jungkook's closest people at heart. "Nothing worrying. Jimin's great, doing really well, as I'm sure he's screamed to you about. I'm doing okay."

"Okay? I was hoping for something a bit more than okay, I won't lie."

The photographer found a bench, deciding he would rather just suffer the cold and focus on the conversation, steady his breathing that had gone more ragged just thinking about his emotions.

He stuck out like a sore thumb in the bleak scenery, branches caving in all naked and dull brown as his red cheeks and bright neon laces could be seen from a mile away among the patchy grass.

"Is this about Taehyung?" He felt his chest ease open with the encouraging tone from the elder.

He'd been overthinking his constant involvement with Taehyung, worried he talked too much about the model to his best friend, and after his meeting with the BigHit management the night before, he was even more insecure about bringing the model up unless directly with Taehyung himself.

"Yeah, you could say that." He mumbled. "Had a realization, of sorts. Then things went uphill, downhill, and kinda uphill again?"

"Tell me about it, Jungkook." Namjoon's frown was audible in his voice. "Don't leave your old Hyung out of anything."

Jungkook let out a choked laugh and collapsed on the bench. Then, he told Namjoon. All about how he really did end up falling for the model, then about just spending time with him in the day, then at night in his apartment. Seeing Taehyung in an environment outside of work.

He ended with the news of the day before. Let the tears hang on his waterline, scratching his dry skin, as he spoke about it aloud to his brother-figure back home.

"Kook..."

"Look, Hyung, I haven't even told Jimin about last night, so don't talk to him about it. I know it's not fair to ask you to keep a secret from your boyfriend, but I just—"

"Why haven't you told him?"

Jungkook swiped a tear away as he shivered, heart beat racing in a different way, dampening any athletic-induced warmth into shriveled feat.

"Because," the boy's knee bounced and he stilled it with a flattened palm pressing into the muscle. "B-Because he already hears all of my shit. It's probably just annoying him."

"Jungkook, Jimin has dealt with your shit since you both were ten. That's six years longer than me, but I don't even care. You really think he's gonna care about the emotional baggage when he could have dropped you for it ages ago?"

"But this is different, Joonie Hyung! H-He's got stuff to do, and I just sulk about Taehyung or scream about him. There's no in between and I don't know how to be nicer, better, to Jimin."

"You're the best kind of friend he can have. I've also seen you guys inseparable for seven years so don't give me that bullshit. No self deprecation."

"It's not self deprecating." He pouted, sniffing. "It's, uh, self awareness."

"God, that Seoul air has done too much."

"I think it's pretty nice." Jungkook laughed through his trembles, hands shaking as he adjusted the ear warmer over his earlobes again. "Jimin Hyung has been the absolute best to me, though."

"I've heard he's picked up on my big brained advice, huh." Jungkook chuckled again. He missed Namjoon. Namjoon was a solid rock in his life. A solid structure that didn't budge with values, stood strong in situations— he could use some of that strength.

"Tell me what you're thinking. And if it's more dumb self deprecation, I don't wanna hear it. You're better than that and you know it."

"Did I do the right thing with Taehyung's management?"

"I can't speak for all of it, bun, but I can tell you that your heart was in the right place. A little impulsive, but you had good intentions."

"They were a little impulsive, too, weren't they? I just don't know. It's scary. I nearly shit my pants in there."

"You're silly." But the words were said with endearment soaking them. "They were a bit impulsive dumping that on you. You're not wrong there. Sounds like they were testing you, see if you'd crack under pressure."

"I felt like I was about to explode, brain guts on the table, the whole shebang."

"Shut up, oh my god." Namjoon laughter roared in his ears, the small buds pressed snugly into his head. "I've missed your dumbass. Okay, but seriously, Jungkook."

"I've missed you, too, Hyung. And seriously what?"

"You knew this wasn't going to be easy. You're the strongest kid I've met, bun. Tackling this head on, helping someone more than the world's best help, that he has at his fingertips, can."

"I just feel lucky. I am lucky. I don't know what I did to deserve any of this success or friendship— or the attention."

"You get what you deserve, and if you're not ready for it, it'll get taken away." Namjoon sighed. "Don't get too deep in the mindset that you're lucky, though."

"Why? Isn't it good to be appreciative?"

"You'll lose yourself. You'll never put yourself first if you constantly think it's luck and not deserved outcomes."

A pause.

"Just because you are helping someone else, doesn't mean you can give yourself up in the process."

"Is that why it feels so overwhelming?"

Namjoon hummed softly. "You've got that giver mindset, Kook, just remember you have to keep something for yourself. You can't give someone your heart if they don't love enough of it, but you also can't be someone's shoulder to lean on if that shoulder just collapses with burden."

"Hey, I said that heart line and Jimin Hyung accused me of using Pinterest!" Jungkook muttered.

"Did you even listen to me?" Namjoon scoffed. "And yes the two of us talked about it last night actually. Looks like you both are stealing my brain."

"You're the blueprint, Hyung." Jungkook shook his head, not that Namjoon could see it. "But I hear you. Keep myself a priority. That's pretty hypocritical if I don't do so while helping Taehyung, actually."

"Exactly. Teaching is a great way of learning, too, bun," Namjoon continued. "Learn with him. It's all new to you, too. Walk with him, don't just guide him. Guiding involves one in front of the other."

"You can't challenge each other if one doesn't pull the other forward, though."

He may not have experienced seriously romantic relationships, but he'd learned enough through platonic love and years of ups and downs to know that.

"You can't pull someone forward if there's weights dragging you back."

"I mean, if you workout enough..."

"Jungkook!"

"Sorry, sorry," the photographer barked out a laugh, chest suddenly warm and withstanding the harsh breeze. "I understand. I'll work on that balance. His stylist told me something similar actually. She told me not to 'fight it,' I didn't really get what the 'it' was, but now..."

"I think you got this one."

"I've been fighting the effect of him on me. I can't expect myself to stay the exact same. I'm changing, too."

"And I think it's a great change, Jungkook. If it's ever bad, you got Jimin and I to shove you back on the right track."

"I would actually be so fucked without you two." Jungkook stood from the bench, feeling the heaviness of his chest suddenly light and lifted. "I should tell Jimin, shouldn't I?"

"Take your time. He will understand."

"Thanks, Joonie Hyung. I really do miss you here. Our trio is just missing a piece now."

"It's not like I'm just gone from the face of the planet. I'm still a phone call away, jeez. You guys both talk like I died, but I'm very much thriving in my little book nook, thank you."

"Book nook?" Jungkook cringed. "I haven't heard of those since elementary school."

"I basically live in an adult kindergarten classroom," the bookstore owner's voice drifted for a moment before returning clear when Jungkook asked about his store. "Business has been great here."

"That makes me really happy to hear. Makes me really happy that we are all doing great pursuing the things we love."

"You're something, Jungkook." Namjoon's voice was faint, completely missed by the younger's ears. "A real, good something."

"Oh my god, did I tell you," Jungkook felt his heart skip a beat. "His stylist referred to me as his 'special someone.' You know what that means, don't you? He's talked about me in that kind of light before."

"Well then, he definitely sees you as more, too. You both are incredibly cute."

"Says half of the most perfect couple on this planet."

"We all have our ups and downs, Jungkook." Namjoon's voice was joyful. Both of them were content just hearing from each other.

"Oh, oh, oh, Hyung!"

"What's up, bun?"

"Wanna hear about my plan? That I'm going to help him with? I'm starting it tonight! Planning to take him..."

Namjoon heard him. Didn't miss a word he said. The younger deserved to feel validated for his endearing care of the model.

He deserved to be loved for being a 'special someone' as much as finding his own 'special someone.'

—

i missed joonie so we got some
joonie action. minjoon best boys

OKAY BUT I MISSED YOU ALL MORE
it's been a while since updates
finals week was a pain in my
ass but i am back in business ;)

thank you for 30k.
like with all my freaking heart
i still stare at that number
in shock because w h a t.

much love
—neeto💙