Where does this sadness even come from?
In the middle of my happiest moments, i turn into something i dont recognize.
I dont care and yet i care too much.
I let my sadness stay, welcome it even.
Its better than feeling nothing at all right?
'Cuz I've seen myself that way  too.
More and more lately.
Where i feel nothing at all.
Just this infinite numbness.
And its scary.
So when i feel something, even if it makes my soul crumble and turn to dust,
I cherish it.
Even though it breaks me to my very core.
And although at times i find myself wishing that this weren't the case
But still, im breathing and my heart is beating
and im alive.