I slammed the door

Tears on my face

I quickly locked it

Turned up the music

Sank too the ground

I took a shaky breath

I rose to my feet

In search of relieve

I found my razor

My beloved blade

'How can it be

Something so small

Can be so scary

And yet so soothing

So repulsive

And yet I can't stay away'

These questions rang in my head

As I tore my skin again and again

I felt so relieve

And yet so guilty

But why the guilt they asked

'You have no one left'

I started with one

But one became two

Two became five

And five became ten

Ten became fifteen

Fifteen became twenty

Twenty became thirty

Thirty became forty

Forty became fifty

And by that time I was dead