cheer practice - 10am

i am just not in the mood. for the past three days i've been like this. well let me clarify, since i argued with onika. she hasn't really been talking to me, which i completely understand. but at the same time, we both were wrong in some areas. more so me with the things i said but whatever. im gonna apologize to her eventually. just need time to cool down about it. it's not that serious honestly.

if im being real, i think something else happened. before we went to the movies that day, she just locked herself in her room on us. we tried getting her out for the movies but nothing worked. so we went without her. mya wasn't happy about it, she suggested we knock her door down.

that was an immediate hell no.

but we had fun. i found out that blue got in trouble and onika picked her up. that's definitely the start of something because blue will take shit and run with it. onika get her out of trouble one time, she'll keep it going.

"why you looking all upset?" kelly frowned at me some. i just shook my head, slightly rolling my eyes. im not in the mood, im sure they can tell. with her being my best friend she had to ask. "well i'm here to talk, you know i won't force you." she walked away to her formation. kelly know that i don't do well with pressure to talk. it'll annoy me and she'll be upset in the end.

coach better not be on bullshit because with the way i'm feeling, i'll walk right out on her.

"why my bae been looking sad?" blue followed me around the apartment. i've been ignoring her because i don't know why onikas sad. it's best she go ask her. there's nothing i can do, she won't even acknowledge me. barely even see her, when i do she's walking right past me.

i opened the fridge to see what i could eat since onika hasn't been cooking. just as i settled on a hot pocket, someone knocked at the door. who could possibly be visiting us?

blue shot to the door making me smack my lips cause of her running. big feet ass making hella noise. the floors are thick so i'm sure the people under us can't hear it. it's just the smacking since she doesn't wear socks around.

"hello. is onika here?" i heard a voice with such a strong accent making me shoot to the door next. dang she look just like onika. summer was behind her too. this must be their mother. their voices are different but those faces aren't. literal twins.

"uhh, yea. yea she's in her room." we stepped to the side for them to enter. summer looked over it, holding grocery bags in her hands. i'm sure she was forced to come by the way she was looking.

"thank you." the lady walked through to the kitchen. they started to put groceries away so i went to knock on onikas door. her mother is here and i'm actually nervous. unlike tina, this lady look mean. like she'll curse me out in a different language and i'll cry without knowing what's said.

"onika." i jiggled the knob for it to be locked. man. why is she locking herself away like that? what i said couldn't have shut her down like this. i've never really done anything like that, i don't support negativity. i'm starting to feel bad. "onika your mother is here."

once i said that i started to hear movement. it sounded like she was moving around really fast. the loud thud made me flinch for her. damn did she fall?

"fuck." she cursed opening the door making my eyes widen. wow she cursed. that's surprising. "thank you. you can go now."

"you good?" i stopped her from walking past me. her eyes looked puffy and red which surprised me more. "onika."

"what?"

"are you okay?"

"i'm fine. where's my mom?" she pulled her arm from my hold and avoided my eyes. something is wrong with her. i'm so sure her mom will catch it though because it's so obvious. not even gonna say anything now. just let her fall into her own trap.

"she's in the kitchen."

"thank you."

"onika tanya!"

"yes momma?"

i went back to the kitchen with them, putting my hot pocket into the microwave. while it cooked i kind of just introduced myself to onikas mother a bit. she seems really sweet but aggressive at the same time. onika just stayed leaning against the counter as we talked. it's like she wasn't in the mood.

just staring into space.

"so onika, i want you to take a break." her mom turned to her and she snapped back into reality. i thought she was already on break. that's why she hasn't been going this week.

"i already am momma."

"i mean....a break break tanya. not just the week."

"you're doing a lot ma, it's not that serious."

"i'm doing just enough. you need a break, look at you."

"i actually haven't looked at myself yet, but thanks for the visual." onika mumbled scratching her head some. she does look sort of a mess but not much. just like she's been laying down for the three days she's been at home.

which is just fine. she's on break.

"it's that time of the month for you?"

"momma please."

"just asking. take a break onika. i'll call you when i need you babygirl. i just bought groceries for you guys, everyone is welcome. it's not just for onika." she looked at me and i nodded. the same thing onika told me her first days here.

they're the same in a way.

"i love you and i'll be calling to check on you."

"alright momma. thanks."

"i said i love you. i don't care cause it's that time, you-"

"i love you too momma, please. i'm begging."

"alright...call me onika."

"i will."

she went to walk her mom out. i watched her as she went sluggishly to her room, but before she could lock herself in again, i ran. pushing it with my hand. i've never had to run so fast in my life.

"wait."

"what?"

"can we talk? what's wrong?"

"i don't wanna be bothered beyoncé. please."

"i understand but like....we haven't talked in three days, it's weird."

"yea well i'm sure you're not fine with that. i'm only here for your own good."

"i didn't mean that onika." i sighed remembering what i told her. that was just an angry moment. like i've never been so upset in my life, she pushed it out of me. i'm not even sure why it made me so damn mad.

me saying that wasn't to make her feel like i was using her or anything. i really do enjoy her company.

"it's fine. i'm sure you'll be happy to hear that you were right."

"about what?" i looked confused, pulling my hand down from the door. for some reason i was still holding it. hopefully she doesn't close it on me.

"he was hiding something. can i go back to laying down please?"

"can i come in?" i spoke softly, hoping she would say yes. now i know why she look like she's been crying or something. she really liked that boy and it's insane. he didn't even seem like shit. all he had was looks honestly.

"why, so you can throw it in my face that you told me so? that's why i didn't even tell my mom, y'all were saying the same things. plus i'm sick, i don't want anyone around me."

"first off, good minds think alike. i think your mom is very nice. but i don't care about you being sick...i can take care of you. make sure you're okay."

her face softened before she looked down at her feet. my heart felt as if it was beating out of my chest trying wait for an answer. it's best she just throw it out. onika is so different than what i'm used to. i grew up around people who were straightforward and will just blurt out things without any offense.

but with onika, i have to be careful with what i say. when i ask her something or something bothers her, she doesn't just straight say it. i'll have to be itching for her reply.

"you won't throw it in my face?"

"no....no i wouldn't do that. it's a lesson learned and thrown in the past. i won't even mention it."

"o-ok."

i smiled seeing as she stepped to the side for me to enter. the little pout on her face kind of made me feel bad. not much because it was all over that that man was hiding something. just wonder what it is that was being hidden.

"i'm sorry that happened nic."

"no you're not."

"well maybe you're right but i am sorry that it hurts you so much."

"no you're not. you said that if you were to figure it out before me you wouldn't tell me. just let me be dumb and hurt on my own. happy now?" she sniffled getting under her covers. i sighed realizing that i did say some things to her. if i'm being honest, i was so upset that i don't even remember half the shit i said.

she's slowly bringing my memory back.

i made my way in the bed with her, just keeping a good enough space between us. she tucked herself further under the covers, wiping her face.

"can i hug you?"

"yea."

i gladly moved closer, pushing her hair back and pecking her forehead. but she jerked away from me with a frown.

"don't."

"why not?"

"you threw it in my face last time."

"i didn't throw it in your face onika...i just didn't want you to keep throwing the fact that you have a boyfriend in my face, like you don't kiss me back... that's all, i promise." i sat up, looking down as she kept her eyes on me with a frown.

"had...had a boyfriend. i don't have one anymore."

"so when i kiss you, you won't have anything to worry about." i smiled small. kissing her is satisfying for some reason. i've never felt so calm and at peace with kissing someone before. and she's a girl.... "right?"

"you still wanna kiss me?" she pouted with those soft eyes that made me melt for her. i swear she's the cutest on earth, i swear. like my little child that i'll do anything for. basically mya, shit. "but i made you mad."

"you made me mad but it's okay. i'll still wanna kiss you no matter what."

"really?" her eyes watered. oh em gee. i just nodded, wiping the small tears that fell from her eyes. is this what the time of the month does to her? jeez.

"you don't have to cry onika."

"i made you mad and i never want to make anyone mad ever. you were so mad you yelled at me, then proceeded to stomp out, and slam my door."

"i'm sorry. i didn't know it upset you like that."

"but i upset you..."

"it's nothing onika, stop. you're fine."

"sure?"

"sure." i leaned down to peck her lips. that
seemed to make her smile small, wiping the tears off her face. so this what she been doing for three days? crying. "you need a nap."

"i don't."

"you do. come on." i laid down then pulled her over. she whined but still wrapped around me to go to sleep. "you need to sleep those tears away."

"i'm too emotional right now. why did this have to happen while i was starting my period!?"

ok that was a roar. she screamed that in my chest like it was last thing she needed to say. i just rubbed her back to keep her calm a bit. i'm guessing she's really upset.

"shhh, just be calm."

"i am c-calm."

"you're not. come on, breathe with me." i inhaled deeply making her do the same, then we exhaled together. hers was shaky but she did it until she actually calmed down with me. "just go to sleep."

"th-ank you."

"it's no problem. just go to sleep for me."