React

"Where are you going?" Olasyar saw Zareen. She was picking her things from the side table and putting them in her hand carry as he entered the room fully after closing the door. She stopped and looked at him in a calculating manner but zipped the bag never the less in the end, and straighten herself. She turned over to him, pressing her hands together in front of her.

"I am thinking of sleeping with mom, until the reception." She sighed and said. Olasyar noticed her face. It was stressed but her eyes were more nervous then tired. She has been thinking a lot it seemed, and he wants to know what. Olasyar had some questions of his own that he desperately needed the answers of.

He thought after seeing Darman and her together, he would have to work hard on convincing her to stay with him instead, during the time period of their next upto the final divorce but she did not. She did not pick the divorce at all, let alone she wanted everything to be done within two days. Then there was the case of her being scared of his touch, more specifically any ones, as she puts it. If he had not seen her that scared last night, he might have thought that it was due to her being too confined in that manner.

Although the thought of her being so conservative in the positive sense did make his ego to boost that his wife had no one in her life before him on more emotional bases, the same way he never had anyone yet her behavior was out of the normal.

"No, you are not," Olasyar said in a casual manner as he took off his jacket and placed it on the couch, roughly. He took a seat on the bed in a way that she was facing his back.

"Olasyar, we can joke around later but I am too tired. I need to go, besides mom is waiting for me. So, we will squeeze each other's throats tomorrow." Zareen stated irked grip the handles of hand carry.

"Then go and sleep. I will call your mother, and tell her you are sleeping, here. There is a reason every room has a phone, you know." Olasyar uttered, unbuckling his flats and pushing it under his bed while he slipped his room's slippers out.

"I do not want to be in the same room with you, why don't you get that!" Zareen frustrated-ly but absent-mindedly barked. Olasyar froze on his spot and Zareen quickly realized what she had said out under her stress. Turning around with hard jaws and stoned eyes, he looked at her with a murderous glare.

What does she mean! Olasyar mind blazed.

"And why not?" In a deadly voice, he asked but Zareen was too muddled to reply. She kept on opening and closing her mouth.

What have I done? There was a whisper in her head that caused the horror to creep in.

"What do you think I will do to you, that you don't want to stay in a room with me?" Olasyar said each word with such aggressive pressure as he took long but threatening steps towards her. Seeing his face she gulped, and backed away but never replied.

"What do you think, I will force myself on you?" Zareen did not reply. It was obvious from Zareen's side that she did not think that low about him but Olasyar did not know that and her words were not helping him either.

"Oh! Wait, do you really think like that?" He humorlessly chuckled at her while Zareen with wide eyes shook her head, in negative. Olasyar's eyes narrowed at her action.

"Then why?" He growled getting in her personal space as she stiffened on her place. His hands were clasped behind his back because he did not want to hold her but at the same time he wanted to cage her so she does not runaway.

"I... I just..." She could not finish as she did not want to lie but she was too scared of the truth itself.

"You what, huh?" Olasyar gritted his teeth in anger and Zareen was sure he was visibly vibrating by now.

"I missed my mom, Olasyar. It's nothing like that." She forced her defending walls to build up as she pushed him away from herself with her fist against his shoulder. She digs her nails into the long sleeves of her kameez. 

Although she was trying to show herself strong as if nothing happened, she knew she was beyond nervous. His eyes snapped at her hand that was pushing him and he gazed back over at her face. His eyes for searching for lies and he did find it. Contracting his eyes at her, he got her pushing fist in his hand and he twisted it behind her back, pulled her against himself. Her eyes were huge as she looked at him, horrified.

"What are you doing? I demand to be left, Olasyar." She glared at him as she wiggled in his arms frantically. She almost felt herself to be like a fish out of water, trying to stay alive.

Now that was the truth. She is hiding something. Olasyar thought about the change in her behavior. He was sure she was doing this unintentionally. That was her true nature, self-protective but why was that. This was the thing that was bothering Olasyar because there was a very monumental information that was still under a rock.

"Why, I am your husband, I can do whatever I want with you, right?" Olasyar knew he was pushing her boundaries and that can be bad for their relationship but the way she was reacting even by a mere touch away from the casual, he was a sure that she and he will not be sharing a relationship in the first place because she was being someone else in front of him by hiding a very important part of herself, maybe her being.

"What kind of primeval human junk are you talking about? Move away." She tried to push him again but Olasyar stopped her by placing his hand on her neck. He adjusted her head to his level with a strong grip and looked straight in her eyes.

"I am not letting you go until you tell me the truth," Olasyar stated almost giving in to his emotions. Zareen stared into his eyes as the fear was creeping up her spine and she gulped. The way he was looking at her, in the eye, she was conformed that he was not planning to let her go without the truth and she knew it. She could see his eyes. He was determent and unalterable. Her other hand that was pressed between them by her, to create a distance in-between them, it now had gripped his kurta in fear on its own.

"Please let me go." She was not crying but she was vulnerable and she was pretty close to her break down. Olasyar felt guilty as he heard her voice. It was raw and exposed but it was now or never. In things like these you have to pick your poison. He picked the one, which had more better results. Short term solutions never sustain. If he lets it go now, future might have more problems for them just because he did not take a stand for them and their relation now.

"Tell me. I won't hurt you, you know that. Then why do you want to run off? What happened last night?" Olasyar asked in a softer tone this time and she closed her eyes. She was thankful when he did not complain or interrogated her in the morning. She had hoped that he might have forgotten about it but he did not and she knew the later was now sooner than her liking.

"Please..."

"Tell me." Olasyar did not let her completely sentence but he completed it for her. Showing her that there was not any choice that he had left her with. Her eyes were closed as a tear slipped from her eye. He moved his hand off her neck and opened her already loosed scarf to let it down. He slipped his fingers into her loosed bun while his thumb cleaned her cheek from the wetness. The moisture absorbed in her skin. He placed his forehead against hers, skin against skin.

No one spoke for moments with untold stories. Olasyar's breath was fanning her face as his knuckles were rubbing against the length of her long neck in an attempt to calm her down as the tears were still slipping through her eyes. Her hands by now were gripping his kurta's collar to stand still, so she does not crumble down instead.

This is the time, you have to tell him.

But he will be disgusted by me.

No, he won't be.

All men are the same. Their egos are the same.

Maybe but hiding won't help.

I am scared what if he leaves me right now?

Then that is your destiny. You can never run away from what is destined for you.

Her rational part was arguing with her emotional one. There was no point in hiding anything. Olasyar was a smart man. He already had her figured out. It does not matter if he does not know her secret right now. He will later find it out anyway on his own. He, asking her was better for her because she does have a chance to keep her dignity despite whatever he does in the upcoming future.

She gulped as she moved her head away from his. She observed his face with teary eyes. He got hold of her face with his other hand. Cupping it as he wiped the tears all over again.

"You want us to be better, right?" Olasyar asked sadly but with an encouraging  smile, as she nodded her head in agreement because she did not know what else to do beside that.

"So, you need to tell me what is going on with you, Zareen." Zareen's lower lip was wobbling on his words. She was scared and she knew if she told him, he would freak out and maybe even leave her. 

She was scared that he might blame her for what happened in her past. Did not those people in her college did too? How can he be different? 

South Asian men are considered to be conservative and pretty darn egoistic over their wives. They do not accept histories of their wives while they themselves might have billions of their own. They are that chauvinistic in nature in general.

She visibly gulped and blinked her eyes. It's today or not ever.

"I..." her throat was dry and Olasyar's constant gaze was not aiding her to gain any words either. She was afraid but she had to do it.

"Zareen, you can tell me. Do you need water?" He asked as he sensed her difficulty.

"Please." She gulped dryly in affirmative.

Olasyar made her sit on the bed beside her bag and went towards the side table where there was a jug of water with a glass near it. Pouring some water in the glass he looked at her head and his eyes soften. He felt really bad for what he did but he had too. He wanted to help her out of her mess but he cannot do it without knowing what it was about.

"Here." Passing the glass to Zareen, he said in a softer tone this time. Zareen took the glass and placed it on her lips. The water was cold due to the atmosphere. She quickly gulped down without a gap.

"Zareen, slowly." Olasyar saw what she was doing. She was afraid and that is what was making it more urgent for Olasyar to know about her problems.

"No, I am fine." Zareen glanced away holding the almost empty glass in her hand. Olasyar sighed and picked the bag and placed it on the floor at the foot of the bed as he took a seat beside her. She saw him from the corner of her eyes and she knew that he was not planning to let it go. 

"I was in my community college at that time," Zareen said with a scratchy voice after awhile, blinking her eyes to focus through the tears and Olasyar looked at her with concentration without trying to cut her off. He can see, how it was hard for her but he needs to know the truth. Despite Olasyar hates long background stories. He still wanted to pay attention to hers.

"I was about to take my transfer into a four-year institute after my final psychology course. They told us that we have to work on a group project. I was teamed up with Ethan Steve." Zareen said his name in a painful way that Olasyar's hand froze on the spot. He blinked his eyes as if he could not believe that she just took a stranger's name. As if it was scientifically impossible for her to do the mere act of saying a man's name from her lips that had no relation to her.

Allah, don't let her have a past. Don't let her be in love with someone who she could not have because I don't want to let her go. His heart was chanting on to prayers along these lines but he never interrupted her once. All his life he has been taught to conceal what he feels. He has to because that is how he was shaped to be, by life itself.

"He was sweet to me and we did go along pretty well." Hearing words of compliments for some other man from Zareen's mouth caused bile to produce in his throat. The more she was talking, the more he wanted to stop her. He was terrified of her words. 

What if she was not his even after being his?

"After the assignment, we had to give a presentation on it for bonus points if we wanted to improve our grades. He asked me to do it with him because he was suffering from a lower grade that semester. So, I said yes." She stopped for a second as she was thinking about what should she say next. She was thinking that does she really want to continue or not but she already had said so much, what was the point to stop now.

"I did not know the dates..." she gulped as the memories washed all over again, "that he had decided with the professor. So, I told him to text me and I will be there." Olasyar saw her hands shaking, that were holding the glass over her lap. 

He was petrified at a point but he wanted to comfort her at the other. He got his hold on her hand and pressed them gently for her to continue as he took away the glass and placed it on the floor, vague minded.

"I went in the class, and there was no one there. I tried to call him but he did not pick up. When I was about to walk out from that section of the floor towards the elevator... someone pulled me, inside the janitor's closet. I... I was confused. There was no light. Everything was dark and the next thing I knew, I felt a hold on my waist. I started screaming but the person put his hand over my... mouth to stop me from shouting further." She gulped as the tears were running down her eyes. She was still confused as to why would anyone do that to a person. Olasyar was livid yet torn. His heart clenched at the thought. 

Was she....

"It was Ethan, Olasyar." She was sobbing by now.

"He was laughing by my ear. He... was telling me how he will win some bet by... raping me." she looked over at Olasyar with confusion as if telling him that she does not understand it. Doesn't understand what he meant. 

"He said that how girls like us... me, behave modest in front of people... only to lure them into running after us. We play hard to get. I was not Olasyar... I never did."She shook her head like a kid crying more and more. Olasyar saw her hysterically crying. He took her in his arm trying to calm her down.

He did not want to hear what happened afterwards. He did not care about it a bit. The pain she was in, it was not worth the truth. He would just mend this relation some other way but he does not want to put her in a position that could do so much damage to her.

"You don't hav..." Zareen cut him off and started rambling without any control over herself against his chest.

"He pushed me against the wall. He screamed at me... laughed. My head, it was paining that the only thing I could do was groan out of the pounding in my head. I tried to get away from but he pushed me back into the wall again and again despite how hard I tried to save myself." by now Zareen's eyes were as if she was a mentally unstable case. Her eyes were open wide without any movement from her eyeballs. 

You do be at loss of words when the pain of being broken is not countable in any sort of expression. She was ripped out from her own body that was not in control of her but at the visual mercy of a demon who was willing to shred her into fibers of her dust.

"He teared my dress off...from the side during... his... actions. I have never been touched Olasyar. No one came close to me ever in my life and here was this man that I did not even properly know, who was attacking me... like some... animal. I felt ripped out of my pride. I was crying and begging him to leave me but he kept on touching me here and there... where I was never touched before... He told me to shut up or he will put the blame on me." Zareen sobbed as her body vibrated and her grip tightened on his shirt. Olasyar tried to stop her. He repeatedly told her that it was okay. She does not have to tell him anything but Zareen's state was voided of hearing anything as if she was deaf.

"He took out his phone, and tried to make a video of me while he was doing... those things. I was so scared that it was hard to even breathe. I tried to push him off in spite of his constant threats. I was trying to kick him away and scream as much as I could but no one came for me. I don't know why but no one heard me Olasyar." she said as she rubbed her forehead still sobbing violently in a delusional state. Olasyar was cursing himself for dragging her so far. She was not normal right now. She was possibly experiencing some kind of panic attack.

"Zareen just stop. You don't have too. Are you listening to me? Stop!" Olasyar said in a rough tone as he made her look at him but she was not looking at him despite she was facing him, physically at least. She was in an unwanted trance. Her eyes held fear and pain with loss of senses. Olasyar's did not want her to be like this but he did not know what to do anymore. He had forced her to let open her demons for him and now she was suffering them all over again.

"But everything stopped... there was nothing." She said all of a sudden like a dead person that Olasyar felt he was the one who had died, and he was in hell now. He was looking into her lifeless eyes and what he saw he could not name it. It was too strong to be placed into words, too complicated to be defined. The emotions were mixed and tangled for life.

What does she mean by everything stopped? His mind was screaming at him to speak but he was too numb to react in any way.

Chapter 28

I cannot even say anything after this because it is to hard to be chilled out after writing or reading this. Although I want to apologize if you find this offending but the truth is it's the part of the person and society that we do not like to discuss about. The taboo is repeated to us on daily basis yet we rather run away from the reality instead of fighting against the crimes of minds.

For now this is it, so until next time,

Allah Hafiz.

P.S. The next chapter is on 28th of July (if you still want to continue this).