Vic: Hello, everyone. What we're going to say today isn't funny or sarcastic. But it needs to be said.

Montgomery: We've made a number of lapses in judgement over the past few years, and we owe you some apologies.

Gibson: There's no justifying what we've done, but we hope that in time, you might be willing to forgive us and maybe even give us another chance.

Vic: I'm sorry... for not being overly sarcastic. At best, I've only been moderately sarcastic and at worst, I've been downright sincere.

Gibson: And I'm sorry I've summarized Greece and Rome so much that it goes beyond summary and enters the realm of synopsis. I was supposed to provide summaries and I've betrayed that.

Miller: And I'm sorry that when I discussed African history, I didn't address Wakanda. It's been a crazy couple months for anthropologists everywhere.

Vic: I'm sorry for mistranslating that ancient Egyptian curse and accidentally getting 15 archeologists killed. On the plus side, I got this nifty necklace out of it. *Points to a necklace she's wearing* On the downside, I'm pretty sure if I ever take it off, I might get eaten by a mummy.

Montgomery: I'm sorry we promised you a Let's Play channel when all we do is talk about boring books and dead dudes.

Maya: I'm sorry for setting my voicemail to a passage from the Necronomicon, and on a related note, if you ever called my phone, I'm sorry for all the demons manifesting out of your keypad.

Andy: I'm sorry for wasting those three wishes I got on a lifetime supply of cheesecake instead of world peace.

Gibson: I'm sorry for suggesting Robespierre just guillotine everyone. I thought the sarcasm was obvious, but clearly he did not. I just wanted him to use it for bagels.

Andy: I'm sorry for committing the unforgivable sin of human transmutation and accidentally disintegrating my childhood friend.

Ryan, in another room: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD!

Andy: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

Montgomery: I'm sorry for telling Virgil that nobody would notice if he just copied off of Homer the night before his Aeneid was due.

Maya: I'm sorry I sunk Atlantis. I swear I had no idea what that button did.

Vic: I'm sorry I caused the Tunguska event by plugging a power bar into itself for infinite energy. The good news is it worked.

Miller: If you were there the time I drew out Les Mis, I'm sorry for your pain. And if you've seen Food Fight, we're sorry in general.

Maya: I'm sorry I didn't cry when Baldr died, thereby forestalling his resurrection and condemning him to hell. I just don't like expressing my emotions publicly.

Gibson: I'm sorry for kidnapping Tripitaka that one time, but in my defense, everyone was doing it.

Andy: I'm sorry I told Pandora I dropped my keys in her box. I thought it was hilarious at the time, but in hindsight... not my proudest moment.

Montgomery: I'm sorry that I invented a time machine, went back to steal the Library of Alexandria, shrunk it down Braniac style and put it in a bottle, and then burned the foundations to cover my tracks.

Vic: I'm sorry-wait. What did you do?

Montgomery: Uh... Well, you see.

Vic: You what?!

Montgomery: Well, actually...

Vic: You burned down the library? You monster, you wait till I get over there!

Montgomery: Well, wait-

Vic: There you are, you barbarian!

Montgomery: Um, we're experiencing technical difficulties, we'll be back later!

Reference- Overly Sarcastic Productions