To be, or not to be; that is the question

-Hamlet

Teenagers are at a very crucial stage of life. They have to find themselves and their dreams, goal and ambitions. For such a monumental task, we are only given a few years at most. Identity is who you are and what you want to do in life. Your experiences, personality and environment shape your identity. We are not given enough time to live those experiences, develop our personality and make sense of our environment.

Sometimes I feel as though I am standing in front of a brick wall and and trying to phase through to the other side. I am trying so hard to be something meaningful and good. Something I can be proud of and I won't have to be ashamed of myself.

I try. And I try. And I try.

It all seems futile. Like I am constantly banging my head against the wall. Trying to making it disappear, to phase through it. The more I do it, the more useless it is. Only blood will be shed.

Again and again and again

Finding myself is a lot harder than I expected. I want to be special and I want to be so many great things. Yet it frustrates me that I can't be any of those. I spiral downwards and I'm stuck in the same cycle.

We are so different yet alike, I don't want to blend in but I don't know what I like. Which means I have no choice but to blend in. I don't know who I am so I don't have the confidence to show myself to the world.

Who am I?

What am I doing here?

What am I?

Another barrage of unanswered questions.

I wish I had someone to answer them.