I once read a book about drug abuse. One recurring theme was 'noise'. It was everywhere. It affected everyone. 'Noise' was different for everyone. One person could be noise to the other and vice versa. At that time, I never really understood the meaning of noise. Why it was so important and why it was a recurring theme in that book.

Some time passed, I matured and understood 'noise'. Noise could be in the head, in our surroundings, or anywhere else. It doesn't matter. What matters is the effects of noise. It is deafening and I understood it when I saw my family fighting. When people screamed and yelled at each other while i cover my ears and sat on the ground. That is noise from the surroundings.

The most harrowing, however is noise from the head. Instead of shrieking sounds from the outside, there is howling in the inside. It is debilitating. A constant noise that dosen't go away like an irritating itch that you cannot scratch. It drives everyone crazy. The only way I have found to destroy that noise from within is more noise from outside. Which, to be honest is equally harrowing.

When I don't have anything to drown out sound, I cut it away. I cut my life and my noise away on skin instead of paper. I try hard not to but in the end I have to drown out my life. One way or the other, I still am always me. Even if I don't like it.