"You must have a million stories inside you" - Girl in Pieces

When I was younger, I thought I may never have a million stories like Charlie Davis in the books. She has so many interesting ones. I now realize everyone has millions of stories. Our life consists of billions of them all packed into one big story of life. Every moment is a story, our journey is amazing. So are we, different and amazing.

I was so much better; they said, I was this and I was that. They wonder what changed, why I don't care anymore. They tell me who I was; as if I wasn't the same person, as if I didn't live that life myself. Like they know what happened. I just wish I had the guts to tell them; I just don't care about myself anymore. I hate myself enough.

I love to read and to write. I hear stories through books and I write mine on paper. The more I write, I realize how many stories I have. How beautifully haunting my life is. Overwhelming and frustrating but a certain beauty that I can only translate to words. Things that only this paper will ever understand. My life may be worse to me, this paper will always have faith.

When I look at myself in the mirror, i see the cracks. They echo like broken glass in black emptiness of my shell. I see my scars, from where i bled. I see the ugliness inside of me, the brokenness that screams within. I feel ugly. I feel worthless. I feel disgusting. I hate being me.

I cut myself again and again and again. Till I am ugly and scarred. I do it again to drown myself out. I am fine, fine, fine fine.