Rite of Passage

I'm laid naked, underneath the covers, when Iggy walks back into his room.

"Yo, look what was I found." He holds up a wanted poster.

"Is that meant to be Mickey?" I question, only seeing a few of the similarities.

"Yeah." He nods.

"Wanted for robbery and fraud." I read aloud. "We should probably go and tell him."

I quickly put back on my clothes and follow Iggy over to Mickey's room. "You should probably knock-"

"Hey! Hey!" Mickey shouts when Iggy swings the door open. "You come in here without knocking again, I'm gonna aim my ruger in your fat fucking face and empty the clip."

"Looks like the only place you're aiming is down your boyfriend's throat." Iggy laughs, causing Mickey to flip him off.

"I got you smokes." Iggy throws him over the packet of cigarettes.

"Oh, get to the point already." I pull the poster out of Iggy's pocket and give it to Mickey.

"This was stapled to the bulletins board at the Rag-Heads's." Iggy tells him.

"Who the fuck is this?" He asks.

"You, stupid." Iggy answers.

"Shit." Mickey mutters as we laugh.

"It's not funny, assholes." He responds.

"What's with all the fucking suitcases?" Iggy asks.

"Its like a fucking deathtrap trying to not trip over them." I add.

"Go. Get out here." Mickey pushes us out.

"You ready for round two, Morgan?" Iggy smirks.

I roll my eyes at him before leaving.

---

Carl and I were playing table tennis at the kitchen table when Fiona walks in.

"Where the hell did you get that?" Fiona asks.

"New job, new shit." Carl smirks, feeling proud of himself.

"Where have you been?" Debbie asks.

"I will tell you tonight. I've got news." She replies.

"What is it?" Debbie asks.

"I'm gonna announce it tonight." She says.

"Announcing it?" Carl questions.

"We're here. Just tell us now." I say to her.

"I got plans tonight." Carl tells her.

"Uh, so change them." She responds.

"For a stupid announcement? No, thank you." He replies.

"It's news about your sister who you love." Fiona ruffles his hair, causing him to miss.

"Ha!" I smile and fling my arms into the air after winning a point.

"Gallagher don't do announcements at dinner." Debbie says.

"We do blackouts, suicide attempts, but never announcements." I agree with Debbie.

"You knocked up?" Carl asks.

"No." Fiona answers.

"Uh, brain tumour?" Carl keeps guessing.

"No, nothing like that." She laughs.

"Did we win the lottery?" Debbie asks.

"I got 10 bucks on the herp." Carl bets.

"Yeah, Carl, that's right. I'm getting everybody together to announce that I have an STD, I'll call Lip." She sarcastically responds.

Sammi then walks into the house, soaking wet.

"What happened to you?" Debbie looks her up and down.

"Oh, just another of life's little speed bumps. Nothing a Gallagher can't handle." Sammi places her hands on my shoulder and lightly shakes me, making me mess up.

"I win, bitch!" Carl drops his racket onto the table.

"You're not a Gallagher." I say to Sammi as I flip Carl off.

"In name, no. Genetics, yes." She replies. "Where's Dad?"

"Couch." Debbie answers.

"What's Frank doing here?" Fiona asks.

"Drying out, and not in the usual way." I tell her.

"Well, he's got to go. Don't forget about dinner tonight." Fiona reminds us before leaving.

"I gotta get ready for work." Carl says.

"Are you still working at that fruit market?" I ask him.

"Yeah, it's great. Free food, plus bunch of chicks come by." He responds.

"Can you ever have a conversation without bringing up girls or sex?" I question before leaving the kitchen.

As I'm walking into the living room, Sammi is walking out.

"Oh, and tell Fiona that I need to park my new trailer in the backyard." She rushes out, squealing and dancing.

"There's no room in the backyard." I say to Frank.

"There's no trailer." He replies.

I scoff, "I kinda feel bad for her."

"Sammi? She'll forget about it by happy hour." He responds.

"The sofa's sopping wet." I complain after trying to sit down on it.

Frank then stands up. "Because you don't have a bed for me. I'll go find one on my own from people who actually treat me like family."

"Oh, yeah? Who's left?" I ask.

"When I got this new liver, you know what else I got? People who care about me for a change." He says.

"Good for you, Frank." I pat his shoulder.

---

I'm sat on a concrete slab at the construction site, ranting to Lip about Mandy.

"Why are you telling me all this?" He questions.

"Mickey and Ian are too busy always sucking eachother's dicks. Iggy doesn't have enough brain cells to have a conversation longer than 3 minutes with. Carl just keeps making dirty jokes. Fiona makes it all about herself. Debbie cares more about her own boyfriend. And Liam doesn't understand."

"Wait, am I your last option?" He asks.

"Pretty much." I nod.

"Thanks." He sticks his middle finger up at me.

"No problem." I smile.

"Did the Florida heat give you sunstroke, Gallagher?" Tommy questions. "Let's go."

"You can always feel free to join in." Lip says to me.

"I think I'd rather watch." I reply.

"Sooner you finish, the sooner you can send a pic of your little twig to your girlfriend, remind her what she ain't missing." Tommy laughs as he speaks to Lip.

"Oriental chicks don't care about size. They got tiny vaginas. Medical fact." One of the guys say.

"Is that right, or is that how you convince yourself that your girl actually feels something?" I question.

A bang is followed after a scream as a man falls off the building.

"Jose, you dumb shit!" Tommy shouts. "Hey, get his wife on the phone and let her know he needs a lift to the hospital again."

"Again? Does this happen regularly?" Lip asks.

"Never remembers to clip in his safety harness." The guys laugh.

"All right, get up there, kid." Tommy points at Lip.

"What, me?" He questions.

"Yeah." Tommy nods. "When one goes down, it's the next man up. Since I don't have any men left, I guess you're gonna have to do."

"Oh, fuck that. What about Sully?" Lip asks.

"He knocked up my sister's girl, Hayley. Got to to protect the family genome."

"Strap in. It's slippery up there." Sully pats his back.

"Morgan, make yourself useful, hold the ladder for him." Tommy says.

I go over and hold the ladder as Lip climbs up it, slightly shaking it just to scare him.

"You're not funny, Morgan!" He calls down.

Once he reaches the top, he seems to freeze. He then rushes down as fast as he can. "Fuck it, I'm not paralysing myself."

"Pussy." Tommy rolls his eyes.

Mickey then walks towards us. "Yo, Tommy, you got any bets you want to lay with Mike?"

"Yeah, what are the odds Gallagher goes into traction by the end of the day?" He laughs.

"Better odd than you looking down and ever seeing your dick again." Lip replies.

"Since when are you back to working for Skinny Mike?" Tommy asks Mickey.

"Since the cops decided to make the streets safe for strollers and yoga mats again, fuck you very much." He snaps.

"What are we doing?" Tommy asks.

"You're clearing a path for the yuppies by tearing down our neighbourhood brick by brick, that's what." He answers.

"Hey, the money I earn by tearing this shithole down allows me to put 50 bucks on the Royals. Say 'thank you' and shut the fuck up." He responds.

Mickey gives him a sarcastic smile and thumbs up.

Tommy blows his whistle, "That's lunch."

"Hey, can I quickly talk to you?" Mickey asks me.

"I'll see you later." I wave to Lip before walking away with Mickey. "What's up?"

"What was that shit you were telling me about with the doctor?" He asks.

"Doctor?" I question.

"Fucking shrink stuff or whatever." He explains.

"You mean for Ian? Is he okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, he's fine." He doesn't sound very convincing. "What is it?"

"It's a mental health assessment." I tell him. "Are you sure he's okay?"

"Im going to the Alibi with Iggy later to play some pool, you coming?" He asks, ignoring my question.

"Yeah, sure." I answer.

---

Liam and I are setting out the plates for Fiona as she was running late for her own dinner announcement.

"Whoa, Debs. Whose blood is that?" I ask when her and Carl walk in together.

"Hard to say, could be Holly's, could be Ellie's." She answers.

"Debbie gave them the mother of all beat downs. You can freeze-frame it to the exact moment where she cracked Holly's front teeth." Carl says.

I stretch at Debbie's shirt, getting a better look at it. "Uh, I thought you were taking the high road with them?"

"This felt better." She replies.

"As your older sister, I am supposed to say that violence is wrong, but those bitches totally deserved it." I high five her before pulling out my phone which was ringing.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hey, I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to postpone the dinner." Fiona says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Jackie didn't get custody of her kid and now she's not answering any calls." She tells me.

"Shit." I mutter.

"We just pulled up at her apartment, I'll keep you updated." She says before ending the call.

I turn back to Debbie and Carl. "Dinner is off."

"I'm starving." Debbie whines.

I pull out a ten dollars and give it to her. "Go buy yourself something, bring Liam with you and also get him something too."

"Okay." Debbie nods before taking Liam's hand and guiding him out of the house with her.

"If we clear the plates we could play another game of ping pong." Carl smiles as he holds up the bats.

"Prepare to lose." I quickly begin to put back all the plates into the cupboards.

---

I'm playing pool with Iggy and Mickey when Lip walks into the Alibi.

"Look who it is. Wrapping up his ghetto summer tour before he heads off to the Ivy Tower." Mickey wasn't exactly in the best mood, and Iggy and I couldn't figure out why.

"The Ivory Tower, all right?" Lip corrects him. "If you're gonna talk shit, at least do it right."

"Had it with you fucking Gallaghers." Mickey snaps.

At least we now know it was Ian who put him in this mood.

"I just had a long day at work. Work, Mickey, you ever heard of that? I just came here for a fucking beer, all right?" Lip snaps back.

"You built up a big thirst selling out your neighbourhood, huh?" Mickey questions.

"Look, I don't like this place changing just as much as you do." He says.

"Yeah, except when the yuppie floodgates open, it's gonna be us out here drowning while you work on becoming a member of the future mcmansion owners of America." Mickey replies.

"I'm just as fucking South Side as you are." He responds.

"Really, so what are you doing to stop these gap-wearing assholes from taking over the hood, huh?" Mickey asks.

"Jack shit. What are you doing other than running your fucking mouth?" He questions.

"I'm going to make this place even shittier, so no one will want to live here." Mickey answers.

"Yeah? How you gonna do that? You gonna bury a radioactive waste? You gonna dump chemicals into the water? Carcinogens? DDT?"

"Where do you think we can get DDT?" Mickey asks him.

"Vietnam maybe." He replies.

"Fuck it. Guess we'll just have to go mess shit up here." Mickey then turns back to us. "Hey, Iggy, go get the car. Morgan, you in?"

"Yeah, sure." I begin to follow Iggy out the door.

"What about you, South Side? You coming?" Mickey asks Lip.

Lip hesitates for a minute before standing up and then following us all out the door.

---

Mickey laughs once the car stops outside of the new coffee place.

"They got the machines hooked up and everything." He says as we all get out.

"Yeah, all ready to make those nonfat fagaccinos." Iggy then looks at Mickey and then over at me. "No offence, guys."

"Let's not just stand with our dicks in our hand, let's do it." Mickey says.

"All right, give me the spray paint." Lip holds out his hand.

"Spray paint?" Mickey laughs. "You're not tp'ing the goddamn principal's house, Phillip."

Iggy holds up two guns. "The M16 or the AK?"

"Give me the AK." Lip takes the gun out of his hands.

"Yo, you joining in?" Mickey asks me.

"I'll just keep a look out." I respond as I lean against the car.

"On my signal!" Mickey shouts.

"What's the signal?" Iggy asks.

Mickey then blasts the bullets of his gun against the glass, Iggy joining in too.

The entire time, Lip keeps his gun lowered to the gun, too afraid to shoot.

"Guys, cops!" I yell as soon as I hear sirens approaching.

"Shit." Iggy jumps in and starts the car while I hop into the back.

"South Side, huh? Fucking knew it." Mickey snaps at Lip.

"Get the fuck in here!" Iggy shouts at him.

"College bitch." Mickey then gets into the passenger seat.

Lip then tries to get in, but Mickey makes Iggy lick all the doors.

"Hey, wait up!" I hear Lip call after us as we drive off.

"What the fuck! You seriously couldn't just let him in." I punch Mickey's shoulder.

---

The next morning, I'm sat at the kitchen table when Sammi walks inside.

"Hey, you got any aspirin?" She asks. "I had a little too much jager last night."

"Uh, yeah. I'll get it for you." I walk over over to the cupboard where we keep all our medical necessities.

She goes over and sits down on a stool. "Dad never came home with my trailer."

"He's not coming home with your trailer." I tell her.

"What?" She questions.

"There's no money. Never will be." I pass her over the aspirin.

"But Dad said-"

"He lied." I interrupt. "It's a Gallagher rite of passage, realising he let you down. He always will. First time is definitely the hardest."

"Do you know where he is?" She asks.

"No clue, but Debbie does, ask her." I respond.

My phone then starts to ring as Sammi rushes upstairs.

When I pull out my phone, Mickey's name is displayed on it. "Hey, what's up?"

"You really need to get over here. It's Ian."