Published on: September 3, 2021

***

Gulf looked at Mew in horror and ran out of the room, he crossed the living area and rushed out of the apartment in haste leaving the door wide open, Mew ran after him..

He punched on lift buttons in hurry, "why the hell it is taking so long to open", He punched on buttons repeatedly, "Damn it... open...open" he kicked on the door.

"Wait, Gulf" He heard Mew's voice and looked back, Mew was running towards him in hallway.... He got panicked and leaped towards the stairs.

Mew sprinted faster catching him before he could run any further than 10 steps.

They wrestle there for a while, and finally, Mew picked him to his shoulder and brings him back to the apartment, Gulf was struggling under Mew's grip...once they entered into the apartment, Mew kicked the door with his foot closing it with a thud.. Gulf was still struggling on his shoulder, hitting on him biting and scratching all over the place, His struggle paused when he gets thrown on the couch..

He saw the chance to escape,, and again try to sneak out but got held down again and they wrestle on the floor, tangled, tired, and breathing heavy. 

"Wait.... Wait... Stop"  he gasped for air, his chest was making a wheezing sound....

Mew saw him laying on his side, panting heavily with sweat on his face and body, he went to the kitchen and handed him a glass of water and chugged some from the bottle, catching his breath in silence eyes fixed on the huffing figure on the floor...

Gulf has his eyes closed as he was still catching up his breath..

"If you want me out, I will leave", "It is your place"

Gulf scooted upward silently, resting his back took a sip from the glass, peeping on Mew's side behind the glass... there were few bite marks showing over Mew's bicep and few scratches over his arms and neck area...he felt bad, did he bite him that hard, one bite seems like it has ruptured the skin deeper.. not like blood was there, but he can see his denture over the skin like he can count his own teeth over that bicep...

Once Gulf was done with water, Mew took the glass placed it on the counter, came back and pulled him up and settled him on the couch, finger-combed his hairs, caressed his tiny ears, button up his clothes, few of them were missing he looked around and found the fallen button under the table, placed it on the table...and folds the collar properly...Gulf just stayed still and let Mew do whatever he was doing, eying his moves...

He went inside and came out in few minutes properly dressed full sleeve shirt and trousers, as Mew say decent clothes for outside...

"Where are you going??"

"You wanted me out"

Gulf's lower lip curled up and his eyes rims felt itchy,

"Are you throwing me??"

Mew stayed there looking at Gulf, who is about to cry..

"I am not.... you are the one throwing me out"

"I am not" Gulf shouted back and the corner of his eyes leaked...

Mew kneeled down to the same eye level pulling him closer, hugging his waist "Then why were you running away"

He sniffled, "Don't you hate me??"

"There is no reason to hate you"

Gulf whimpered aloud, "You are making things hard"

"Just tell me what is going on, I will solve it for you"

"How can you solve, when I don't know what is going on"

"I trust you"

He wailed out again in frustration, "That is the thing, you are the one who trusts me and"

"And??"

"And i don't want to break it, but i am breaking it"

"Gulf look at me" he took his hands and make them cup on his face,

"You are not breaking anything"

"And I am sorry, for invading your privacy", "I should not", 

"But it is hard to see you in grief Gulf, I swear I waited for month now, but.... I am sorry"

Gulf howled again, as he cries louder hiccuping in between,

"You will hate me"

"I will not"

"You will"

"I will not"

He shifted beside Gulf on the couch and pulled him on his lap settling him there, Gulf cried a little bit more, and don't know how much time passes like this, but he noticed Mew's clothes, he knew Mew wear proper clothes while he goes out, even it just for downstairs, he would wear proper ones as per his definition...

"you are not going" he pulled out his shirt throwing it somewhere and again plopped on his chest, Mew just sighed and pulled him closer...

"say it"

"I am not going"

The loud cries were replaced with little sniffles,

"I like sparkle" he rubbed his face on his crook...

"I know" Mew squeezed him and keeps on stroking his back...

"No, it is like.... I don't know"

"For a sec I was looking at them admiring them and on next sec I already had them", "I never thought it is bad but then", "and now it is out of my hand"

"I don't know", "i can't stop my self"

"Since when??"

Sniffle... sniffle..."Since I was young"

"I used to hide things under my bed"

"But one day my father found out wristlet in my pocket" he shivered at the memory..

"He didn't question me, he never asked why I have them"

"He thought I am queer", "and like to dress up extra like my mother"

"So he beat me up and throws me out" Mew gives little packs on his ears..

"Are those wristlets your mother's??"

"No, i was coming back from school and I saw something shiny on the muddy road, so I picked it up"

"So your mother??",

"She died, when the light fell on her while performing it was bad accident few people were injured but my mother was standing in front so"

Mew squeezed Gulf tighter and kissed on his ear again, patting his head...

"P'Mild's mother took me in, she was a friend of my mother, she too thought I was queer, and the reason why my father throw me out", "she was nice to me", "she never question"

"And i didn't say anything, so"

"Does anyone know about it??"

He shakes his head declining, 

"Are you angry with me??"

"I am not"

They fell in silence again, Gulf saw the marks on other's body, he gulped feeling guilty...

"Does it hurts??", he traced the bite marks

"You have sharp teeth"

He rubbed on Mew's chest, with glittery eyes, "Sorry"

"It's ok, don't bite that hard next time"

"Are you gonna file a complaint against me"

"For what??"

"For for picking things"

"Shhhh, don't stress out" he pushed his head to his shoulder and patted him gently...

They again settle into a peaceful silence, Gulf caged between Mew, and getting patted on his head, he felt lighter like some weight has been lifted from his shoulders, for years of keeping a shameful secret buried in his heart, he felt lighter... he fell asleep there hearing the soft breathing, and rhythm of thumping heart, wrapped in the warmth of body beside him..

Mew checked upon Gulf's worn-out face and found him asleep, he picked him up, changed him into something comfortable, and shifted to the bed, again pulling the younger to his embrace..

It doesn't take much time for him to fall in slumber..

***

Gulf steered in his sleep, feeling something heavy, his eyes shuttered open,  found himself in Mew's arm cage, a leg clawing over him... he traced his features, rewinding the night, tears begin to form in his eyes, and rims became heavy as droplets fall and drench the mattress..

He keeps on shedding tears in silence, looking at Mew's face

A few minutes later, Mew's body clock worked, he stretched his limbs crunched his face, Gulf saw the little moments and cried more in silence, he will not be able to see him like this anymore, there would be someone else by his side, with whom he would like to experiment and he will be on roads looking for shiny faces, or maybe singing at his wedding... more tears fall with every single thought

Mew looked at his side and was welcomed with crying Gulf, and his yawn gets paused in mid..

"Are you hurt??" he checked on his face and then touched his body up and down...

"Hungry??"

Gulf mumbled, "I don't deserve you"

Sigh, he plopped on side, "Yaa you don't"

Gulf clutched on mew's shirt trying his best and getting ready to be thrown out from Mew's life

Mew pulled him closer, he waited and waited and waited little more, but Mew didn't do anything apart from snuggling..

"Mew??"

"hmmm"

"I said, I don't deserve you"

"Yaa I got that"

"No, you don't understand"

"Then make me understand"

"I got tempted to you because you had pretty face, and it shines and that"

Mew chuckled, "I am glad then, I have a pretty face"

"No, No...you don't understand"

"If you are with me just because of my pretty face, then why are you crying"

"I am not crying"

"Yaa sure, watery eyes and runny nose must be new normal then"

"It is not time for being sarcastic"

"Then what is the time for being sarcastic"

They stare at each other trying to understand what could be possibly going on in others' mind...

Gulf pushed Mew aside, "Don't you have work today??"

"It is Sunday", He yawned and stretched his limbs one more time, 

"What you want to eat??", "Or should we go out??", "or you want to sleep some more??", "you are early as per your standard time" he caressed Gulf's bed hairs..

"I don't get it"

"What??"

"Are we still in the experiment??"

"why you think we are not??"

"Because i..."

"Just because you like glitters, and picked some crystal... it is not enough reason for me to back out

"It is not...It is not... I..."

"I know" he kissed on his head multiple times, "I know... Don't stress out"

"And, I told you as long as you want", "I am not backing", He caressed other cheeks, "what about you??"

"I am not backing either" scooted closer to Mew, feeling happy and relieved he is not thrown away, he is not abandoned...

"So we are together, and nothing has changed"

Still, it doesn't make sense why he doesn't want to leave, he has valid reasons to leave, "But why, I mean, why you want to be with me"

He pulled him closer, "you had done something",

"I.. i"

"Shhhh, let me say it, i wanted to say it since our 100th day anniversary, but things happened, and we are almost half a year together... and i felt like I am choking with all these build up emotions"

"Mew i"

"Shhhh" he shushed him clipping his mouth with his fingers, squishing on his lips...

"You had done something with me" took Gulf's hand and placed it on his face, kissing his palm basking the warmth, 

"you make me free Gulf" he caressed his eyes with lingering tears threatening to fall...Gulf sniffled under the touch.

"I am light as feather......... simple gush of wind and I can fly", 

More tears rolled down from his eyes, Mew keeps on wiping them, his other hand keeps on scratching on other's scalp....

"You... being my summer breeze making me dance at your own melody, you... being my odyssey making me travel to the steps I have never thought I would..."

He took a pause, use his t-shirt to wipe out the snotty face...

"But if there is no wind then how would I fly....... so I wait, I wait and wait some more, that my summer breeze will be back and make me dance again, took me to the ventures I have I never had before"

"Stop" Gulf's lower lip curled again signaling he is about to cry loud...

"No, listen" mew keeps on kissing his hairline...

"You asked for my consent, and it makes me feel you value my feelings, respect my boundaries", "you don't just assume...you ask"

"You get offended on my behalf and it makes my heart flutters", 

"I..."

"No, I am not done yet"

He caressed his lips, "your smile is enough to make me high, like I had taken a whole stash of marijuana all alone... It is peaceful and it put me in trance",

He interrupted again, and this time he succeeded, "You had taken marijuana before, how is it??"

"It feels nice, I like the smoke one, edibles don't go well with me"

Gulf nods his head understanding, "And what about ???????"

Mew clipped his lips again, "Shhhh......I know your antics Gulf, you can't distract me with that" and nuzzle their noses together..

 "we will talk about weed some other day", "or if you want then we can have a joint together"

"okay," he kissed on Gulf's hairlines, and Gulf' nod his head...

"You make me forget where was i??", "where was i??"

"On my smile, and weed"

"ohhh yaa"

"come here" He pulled him from his hip and put his own leg on him, "I like how you wiggle your brows like a caterpillar when you tease me, and it makes my heart wiggle with that, I can hear you talk  and tease me all day"

Gulf hides his face in the mattress.. Mew's hand remains engaged in scratching other's scalp.

"I used to get cringe when I hear s*x, but now I laugh like an idiot, like what is gonna next, like what slutty comment you will make, you make me laugh at it"

"Even though your boners at random time, it is funny how you can joke about them, and when you talk to your du du scolding it, that you should bow before your elder not stand up and then excuse yourself to the bathroom, that your junior needs a little bit more scolding and beating... It is just you who can say that to jerk it off", 

"I don't even freak out at your boners", "you normalize the things for me", "I don't know but you do" 

"And then you started replacing all the words on which I used to cringe", "You think I didn't notice, I did Gulf, I notice everything you do for me",

"You are the first person who just makes me free, I can be me and I can't lose being me"

"Mew i"

"I told you, I am not done yet"

"And then you cried, and... and...", Mew gulped 

"It felt painful like the kind of pain where you want to cry aloud, but there are people around you, and you have to save your dignity, so you keep on gulping to suppress it, distracting yourself, you want to let it out, but you can't and your throat is choked, the lump in your throat is heavy, and your heartaches", "you want to lift that weight but you can't"...

Gulf squeezed Mew's face, he is feeling all the emotions Mew is talking about right now, it is in his throat, that lump, that is in his throat... his eyes become blurry again, as he wailed out louder this time...

Mew pulled him closer, it hurts again to see him cry...

"and I felt like going through period cramps"

Gulf sniffles a little, "What??"

"My ex used to talk about cramps... like, you feel like dying"

"So it must be how cramps feel like"

Gulf smiled with still tears in his eyes, but in the end, he chuckles rolling on the side, "That is in their abdomen"

Mew pouts, "Come on, can't I feel them in my heart"

Gulf chuckled again, making his shoulder move up and down, and Mew relieved with Gulf's chortle

"And what is next after cramps, bleeding"

Mew gasped, "Yaa how do you know"

Gulf left a loud belly laugh rolling on his sides, "God Mew"

"That is so stupid"

He pulled him closer again, "If being stupid.. can bring my Euphoric high, then I am fine being stupid"

"What??"

"My endorphin..", You being happy", "It brings me Euphoric high"

Gulf gaped like fish, 

"Are these reasons are enough to being with you", "I can count more"

He snuggled on Mew's neck, hiding his tear-dried face and tinted cheeks..."You talk too much"

They stayed there, being entangled mew scratching on Gulf's scalp,

"So, weedy wind huhhh, I am not sure about other  fancy words??" Gulf wiggled his brows...

Mew just chuckles and tilted Gulf's face and sniff pack on Gulf's cheek with the same muhhhh sound, Gulf chuckled, presented his other cheek, poking on it, "It felt sad too"

Mew snickered but kissed on his other cheek too,

"What.. What did you say, see now my forehead is feeling jealous"

Mew kissed on his forehead,

"These nostrils are flaring aren't they cute enough"

Mew chuckled but kissed his nose,

"you shouldn't go for my jaws they are sharp as katana"

"Let's see" mew give butterfly kisses on others jaw...

Making him giggle, and his adam apple goes up and down, Mew didn't think much and sink on his neck, suck on Gulf's adam apple, makes the giggling guy stop with a heated pulse rate...

He tilted his neck giving mew access to his neck, and others take his chance nibbling over his neck area...giving open mouth bites and sucking and licking after that...

His body gets pressed under him, and Gulf felt throbbing on his thigh, his eyes opened in a flash, does he have morning wood or...

He pulled Mew from his hair, his face was red and shining perfectly, "Are you doing it to please me??"

"I am doing it to please both of us"

***

💜💜