(Comfort for self harm (specifically cutting). This is triggering, so please think about yourself and your habits before reading.)

You don't want it to be a big deal.

You don't want the blood, the scars, and the scabs to control your life as well as the way people view you. But for some reason that feels inevitable.

It's all people can see when they look at you, despite no one knowing besides yourself. Everyone knows, everyone sees it, but no one helps or understands. Of course that's not really how it is, but it sure as hell feels that way.

It's your own fault, and your own business to deal with. Through and through, that's how it is till the end of the day.

There's this grotesque feeling of needing to mark up your body and hurt yourself, tear yourself up without any care of your repairing abilities. Maybe it sounds dumb, but even you yourself can't really fathom the true reason for it.

Feeling the burn, the itch under your clothing as you live out your life brings you a weird sort of serenity. You can live with the calm reality of having control over your body and what it feels.

However, you weren't able to go without confrontation for long.

It's Gojo's fault. He can basically see through your clothing, and he's scarily perceptive to people's feelings when it counts. He's an asshole, but suprisingly understanding to what people truly need. That's why he's never brought it up despite knowing for a while.

Now, when fresh cuts line your body, it seems that he's finally decided to bring it up.

You're sitting in your office, organizing jobs for each of the students in the upcoming week. It took more work then assumed, but it was better then getting yourself fucking killed on the field. It would probably hurt.

The white haired man bursts into your room, no knock of course, and throws himself down on the couch opposite of your desk.

"What is it now? I'm not cleaning up more fucking confetti and pizza sauce-"

"Y/N~ I need you to be real with me right now." He whines. "Really real."

"Completely real, got it."

"Can you come and sit by me first."

You nod, standing up and rubbing your bicep. "Jeez, this is kind of scary. Feels like a interview."

"I could ask you what your strengths and weaknesses are..."

"Please no. I can't handle that right now."

He watches as you sit next to him, and he leans back with his arms crossed over his chest. "I know that you hurt yourself."

Wow, just straight to it

"I know that you know."

He sighs. "Can I ask why?"

"I don't know. It's just- I don't know." You look down, knowing that you might start crying if you had to look at him.

He's silent for a second, then moves closer to you and wraps an arm around your shoulders. He takes his hand and pushes your head down onto his shoulder.

"Y/N, I don't know what to do in situations like this. It's happened before with someone else, and I could do nothing. I didn't even notice, and if that happens to you too I don't think I could hide my feelings anymore. I'm so strong, but I'm so scared that you're going to slip through my fingers. If I can't protect you then how could I even consider myself the best? The best, who can't even keep the person he loves safe and content?"

"It wouldn't be your fault-"

"But could I have done something? Yes, and I didn't last time, so I will now."

Your lip wobbles. "It won't get that bad."

"It already is. It already is, and I'm not letting you go until you admit that."

"We're going to be here for a while then."

"I'm okay with that." He says. "Any excuse I have to keep you here next to me is one that I'll accept. You don't understand how much I wish I could help you."

Those words cause tears to spill over your cheeks, and you push your face into his shoulder to try and muffle your cries as much as you could.

Gojo just puts his hand on the back of your head, reassuring you with light words.

"I j-just can't. I can't stop, Satoru. I don't even want to try and stop."

"I know, I know, sunshine. I'm going to keep you safe, okay? You're with me right now. You're in my arms, and you're safe."

He leans back on the couch until you're curled up on top of him, gripping his shirt.

"Shh." He whispers, rubbing a hand up your back. "It's okay. I'm not going to leave, so let it out."

It takes a couple minutes for your sobs to calm down, body relaxing and nose sniffling occasionally. You always feel tired after you cry, so you keep yourself tucked up on top of him.

"You deserve everything." Gojo says, looking down at the top of your head. "You deserve to let yourself be sad, happy, mad, and everything else. You deserve to be human, becuase you are. You're beautifully human in every way, and it catches my eyes everyday. All six of em."

You snort, and you can see him visibly brighten at your display of joy.

He continues his speech. "Above all, you go through so much, and you feel so much. I don't know what it is exactly, but to me that makes you so much more stunning and interesting. Everything about you is perfect to me and everyone else around you. No one would see you differently once they know you struggle, they'll just be more in awe of your strength."

"God," You chuckle. "Are you trying to make me lose my shit?"

"Don't shit yourself."

"That's not even what I said-"

"Y/N we are the strongest. You and I together. I want you to know that feeling like this is okay, and that I hope you find your way through it."

"Of course. We're the strongest."

"Yes! Now stop being a little bitch."

"Way to ruin it, dipshit." You laugh, and he tightens his arms around you.

"I'll dip you in some shit."

"Stop making shit jokes or I'm catapulting you."

"Where to?"

You tap your chin and hum curiously. "Maybe Berlin?"

"I went there recently. It was so pretty..."

You let him rant about his trips and all the sights he saw, letting yourself relax and block out the itchy scabs lining your body. It's not okay suddenly, it won't be for a while, but you're happy that he can take away the pain for a while.