August 14, 1995

The twins have turned fifteen today, and a party is being thrown for them. Victoria has even promised to be there.

It was hard enough when Victoria turned fifteen, knowing she was married and being the amazing queen of Persia and Samarkand. But now, I have two more teenagers turning fifteen and unlike Victoria, they were a bit less... normal.

Okay, that sounded awful. Victoria was so... easy! I mean there were some hiccups here and there, but generally, she was an easy girl to raise. Junior and Ham, oh my. They were a challenge and they are still proving to be one. Lily and Sophie were easy too, so I shouldn't single out Victoria. 

Mattéo rounded around me as I brushed my hair. He limped a little, but he was getting better.

"You look stunning Josey,"

"Thank you! After last night it was really messy!" I smirked as I untangled the last strand.

Mattéo chuckled, "Oh good I was worried about that,"

He leaned over and kissed me.

"Now we should probably be getting down to the twins party..."

"Yeah-"

Knock! Knock!

"Enter!" I answered.

Lord Maxwell, now a graying man entered the bedroom in a frenzy.

"Your majesties!"

"Yes, milord?"

"We're having a... conundrum in the throne room,"

Mattéo and I looked at each other confused, "What type of conundrum milord?"

He sighed and ran his fingers through his gray hair.

"The princess is trying to get out of her wheelchair!"

Mattéo and I looked at each other again and the look on our faces was one of dread.

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We rushed into the throne room-well- I rushed, Mattéo hobbled. When we got to the throne room, the scene was shocking. Photographers were dragging their feet on the marble floor as Junior was struggling to stand up. This girl.

"Junior!? What in the world are you doing!?"

"Mom, look! I can do it! I can get out of the chair!"

Junior had somehow created her own accent, and occasionally it was a bit difficult to understand. It was: A mix of English, Welsh, German and Dutch. Lily had a more Germanic accent, though Sophie also had the classic posh English accent. 

"Junior, sit down! You're going to hurt yourself!" I pleaded.

Hamilton was across the room, talking to one of his buddies. He pointed over to Junior before snickering.

"What? But mom-"

"Josephine Anna Maria Junior, you heard your mother!" Mattéo shouted.

"He used her full name..." Lily hissed, combing through her brown hair before turning away. 

Her eyes welled up with tears, "But I need to do this!"

"Junior!" I shouted now, "Sit down or I swear to God we'll make you!"

She sniffled and carefully lowered herself back into her wheelchair. Mattéo and I sighed in relief. But that relief quickly evaporated when she rolled out of the room, tears rolling down her face.

"Junior wait-!"

But Mattéo placed his hand on my shoulder, "Josey, don't. She'll calm down okay?"

I sighed, reluctantly agreeing. I knew better than to follow her right now, and I also knew it was best to give her space. Ham walked over, a glass of whiskey in hand with his eyebrow raised.

"What's her problem?" He asked, boredom flicking off in his tone.

"I... I don't know..."

He snorted.

"What a baby," He snarled.

"What did you just say?" I asked, my voice rising.

Mattéo stared right at Ham, but he didn't budge.

"I said that she's a baby!"

"Now why would you say that!?"

"Josey..." Mattéo said, in a warning tone.

Hamilton spasmed his arms, flailing in the general direction of the door.

"Did you not see what just happened!? She literally rolled out of here crying! Like. A. Little. Baby."

My eyes widened at his blatant remarks and his seemingly uncaring and unempathetic face.

"Ham! You know your sister struggles with her disability! Especially as she's gotten older!"

"What's that got to do with me respecting her? She doesn't deserve my respect," He shrugged and walked off.

"Mom why is Ham such a jerk sometimes?" Lily asked, turning to me.

"I... I don't know Lily..."

Lily frowned, "It's rude and I don't like it... what did Junior do to deserve that?" 

"He's a teenager Lily, it's the way he is,"

She gasped and grabbed a hold of my arm, "No it can't be! Mom I don't want to be like Ham soon!" 

I smiled, "You? Not a problem my dear, you are perfect just the way you are, and I know you'll stay like that," 

Lily sighed in relief, "Thank god!" 

I just stared off after Ham, dumbfounded. He really just doesn't care about anyone does he?

"Josey, Junior will calm down, and she'll come back just as upbeat as usual!"

I sighed, nodding, "I know... I know... but this is just getting so difficult... she's so fragile and... naive..."

He wrapped his arms around me.

"We shouldn't worry so much for them. They're growing up and growing into their own,"

"Mattéo, I'm a mother, it's my job to worry,"

I looked back, "I'm going to talk to her,"

"Josey what did I just say?"

I looked back at him wordlessly, and he knew he wasn't going to change my mind just from my expression.

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I knocked on the door of Junior's bedroom.

"Who is it?" She sniffled.

Oh poor girl, she's been crying.

"It's me, can I come in?"

"No! Leave me alone!"

I sighed and opened the door anyway. This needs to be done.

"What about 'leave me alone' don't you not understand!?"

"Well I'm not going to leave you alone in this state, especially on your birthday!"

"God I don't care that it's my birthday! It's just another day of this terrible life that I've been given!"

I paused, my eyes widening. Junior's entire face was angry, her eyes were so menacing... hateful.

"Junior, why do you think that your life is terrible?"

"Because of you! You're the reason why I'm crippled! It's your fault I can't have a normal life!"

"Junior, I just want to talk to you..."

She wheeled forward so that she was right in front of me. Her eyes were dark and angry.

"Well I don't want to talk to you! Get out!"

"Junior..." I growled, my voice rising, demonstrating my growing agitation.

What's so wrong with trying to talk to my daughter when she's feeling down? God, I'm just trying to help her!

"Get out! I HATE YOU!!!"

My agitation dissolved and my eyes widened in shock. I had never heard that from one of my children before. Victoria had said some bitter, nasty things when she was a teenager, and that she instantly regretted saying. Even though it was obvious Hamilton hated me, and Mattéo, he never openly stated it. This was the first time I had heard those awful, heart-wrenching words come out of one of my children's mouths.

Junior didn't look regretful either. She still glowered as she turned and rolled away, back to her desk.

I silently turned and left her bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind me.

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I scanned over the chessboard. The party had ended, and Junior did eventually attend though she didn't say a word to me. Now that we were finished, I was playing chess with Sophie to clear my head. I picked up one of the pieces and moved them over, capturing one of Sophie's pieces.

She gasped, "I knew you were going to do that!" 

I chuckled, "Still learning young padawan," 

Sophie smiled, "Yes I am, but I do know some things as well..." 

She captured one of my pieces. 

"Clever girl," 

She grinned and leaned back in her chair. I saw my next move on.

"But not clever enough to predict this!" 

I knocked over her queen. 

"Checkmate my dear," 

"That was good, I didn't see that. Good game mom," 

I shook her hand and stood up. 

"Mom is something wrong?" 

"What? What ever do you mean?" 

She stared up at me, and unfortunately, she was already at my chin. God, I hate being short.

"Mom you are really bad at lying..." 

I sighed and sat back down. Sophie joined me. 

"Your sister said something very mean earlier," I said, trying to put it into words the nine year old might better understand. 

"Lily!?"

"No, no, Junior..." 

"Ohhhhh okay," 

"She said the h-word," 

Sophie gasped, "You don't mean..." 

She then mimicked devil horns and pointed to the floor. I burst out laughing. 

"No, no dear she said that she hated me..."

"Why?" 

"I don't know, I think she was just angry-"

Sophie wrapped her arms around me, "Nobody should hate you, your the best mom in the world," 

I patted her back, "Thank you sweetie, but I think her anger is because of her disability,"

"What's that?" 

"That she can't walk," 

"Ohhhhhhhh okay," 

She paused for a second, "Why can't Junior walk? What happened?"

My breath hitched for a moment while I searched for a way to deflect the question without causing her to go to someone else who would tell her.

"Someone hurt her when she was a little, little girl... you'll find out more when you are bit older okay?"

"Okay mom... will another game cheer you up?" 

I leaned back with a smile, "Another game where I crush you? I'm in!"

"We'll see!" 

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Mattéo climbed into bed next to me as I read a book. Okay fine, it was the original Russian version of War and Peace. One of the few books that brought me solace when I was down. I was feeling bloody awful.

"Uh oh... you're reading the Russian War and Peace, that's not good..." Mattéo joked as he pulled the sheets over his body.

I sighed and pushed my black-rimmed spectacles up onto my forehead. One of the newest additions to my nightly routine, as my eyesight had worsened over the past year.

"Mattéo, may I ask you a question?"

"Of course Josey, anything!" He replied as she folded his hands behind his head.

He relaxed as I closed my book and set it on the nightstand.

"Am I a bad mother?"

Mattéo turned his head to look at me.

"No! No of course not! That's ridiculous Josey... where would you have conceived that idea?"

"Half of our biological children despise me," I sighed, as tears filled my eyes.

"What do you mean? I mean, I get Hamilton... Hamilton hates everyone and everything in existence, but you don't mean Junior... right? Because Lily and Sophie adore you,"

I nodded as a tear rolled down my cheek and I sniveled.

"Josey, what happened? I assume it had to do when you tried to talk to her earlier, right?"

I nodded once more, "She accused me of being the reason she's 'crippled' and that... she hates me..."

"She said that!?"

"...Yes..."

Mattéo breathed out exasperatedly.

"Oh my... that's... problematic..."

"You tell me! I mean what am I supposed to do if half of my children hate me!?"

He pondered for a moment.

"Well, since this is Junior we're speaking of, I think this was just teenage angst... she has too much love and compassion for everyone to hate someone,"

"You think so?"

"I know so Josey,"

"Well, that's good to know,"

"She can't be angry forever my darling, it just isn't like her to hate-"

Then we heard a strange sound. The sound of some sort of paper, gliding on the floor.

"What was that?"

I looked to the door and saw a folded piece of paper by the door. I stood up, walked over, and picked it up. The word 'Mom' was scrawled on it in blue ink and underlined. It was definitely Junior's handwriting. I walked back over to the bed and climbed back in.

"What's that?"

"What looks like a letter, from Junior,"

Mattéo patted my shoulder, "What did I tell you?"

I didn't reply as I opened the paper, and sure enough, it was a letter.

Dear mom,

I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry! God, I feel like an idiot for saying that. I was just so angry, and I wasn't thinking. Mom, I don't hate you, I could never, ever, ever., ever., ever do that. You've done so much for me throughout my life, you taught me to talk, read, write and through the hardships of my... condition. I am beyond grateful to have a mom like you, who I know is always looking out for me. I also don't blame you for anything either, I can still vividly remember the night it happened to me... and you helped me through the struggle every single day and I cannot thank you enough. I hope, and pray, that you can forgive me.

Love,

Junior

I sniffled again as I folded up the letter, "You were right Mattéo. That girl cannot hate a single soul,"

I folded up the letter and placed it on my nightstand. I turned out my lamp.

"Good. I hate to see my beautiful wife sad, especially over her children," He replied.

I laid my head on his bare, muscular chest and closed my eyes, "Thank you Mattéo..."

"Of course my dear," He kissed my forehead as he turned off his lamp.

I drifted off to sleep, much less anxious, knowing that my daughter would continue to love me as much as I did.