(Author's Note)

I wrote the last part in March of this year. I know it's been a long time but I decided to add to it anyway. Thx for everyone who read this story it really means a lot! 💗💗💞

(Jisoo POV)

Everyone has a secret, right? I'm sure of it. Lisa already told me her secret, that she wants to be a famous idol one day. I don't know Rosé's secret but I'm sure she has one. And me? My secret is that I'm in love with a girl named Jennie Kim.

She's the girl everyone wants to be friends with. She has perfect hair, a winning smile, and gets good grades. And I just so happen to share a class with her.

Okay, maybe saying I'm in love with Jennie is a little out there. It's probably just a simple crush, something that will fade away over time. But everything Jennie talks to me I find myself stumbling over my words. When she looks at me I can't help but smile. When she says my name my heart skips inside my chest. And my soul aches when I watch her boyfriend place his arm around her shoulders.

Yes. Jennie has a boyfriend.

"Why do you hate Ryan?" Lisa asks. Her question brings the world back into focus. I am suddenly overwhelmed with the noisy cafeteria, the chatter of students, and the clatter of lunch trays.

"I don't hate Ryan," I say unconvincingly. I poke at my food.

"Yes you do," Lisa argues.

"Lisa, I don't hate him," I clarify, looking up at her. "He's never been mean to me or anything. And despite his terrible fashion sense there's really nothing wrong with him."

"Okay, so you don't hate him," Rosé says, "but you do seem really annoyed by his presence."

I'm about to speak when someone rests his hands on the table and grins at us. Ryan, Jennie's boyfriend.

"Hey, Jisoo," Ryan says.

"Hey"

"You're friends with Jennie, right? What kind of gift should I get her for our three month anniversary?"

I bury the urge to laugh. Do people actually celebrate three month anniversaries? Well actually I wouldn't know since I've never dated anyone before.

"So, any advice?" Ryan asks, waiting for an answer.

I'm torn. If I give him good ideas then Jennie will enjoy the gift and I want her to be happy. But there's also a part of me that wants their relationship to fail. Why should I tell Ryan what gift for him to give just for him to tell Jennie he came up with the idea himself? Shouldn't he know what kinds of things Jennie likes, as her boyfriend?

"Jisoo, hello?" Lisa waves her hand in front if my eyes to get my attention.

"Oh, sorry," I say. "Um, why don't you ask Jennie what kind of gift she would like?"

"That's stupid, it's supposed to be a suprise," Ryan says. I just shrug, keeping my mouth shut.

"You're the worst," Ryan mutters as he leaves our table.

"Your welcome!" I call after him.

Rosé laughs into her drink.

"See, you totally hate him," Lisa says. She nudges my arm with her shoulder.

"So?" I say, finally agreeing with her. "He hates me too."

"Fair," Lisa shrugs. "Anyway you've been eating lunch with us a lot recently. Didn't you used to always eat with Jennie?"

I blink away the tears that form in my eyes. Why am I so affected by this? It's not like Jennie and I were super close or anything.

"You can still sit with Jennie even if she has a boyfriend now," Rosé says. "Hasn't she invited you to sit with her?"

She has. And I did sit with her a few times. But it's pretty much impossible to eat lunch and watch Jennie and her boyfriend sitting super close to each other at the same time. If only I didn't have feeling for her. Then I wouldn't be in so much pain. Then I could still be around the two of them and have a good time.

The hours pass by. After school is over I'm walking down the hallway with my backpack when someone runs up beside me.

"There you are, unnie!" Jennie smiles. "I've missed you." She wraps her arms around me and I hug her back.

"Are you okay?" Jennie asks, watching me closely.

"Oh, no, I'm perfectly fine," I lie. I so desperately want that warm smile to return to her face.

"You can talk to me whenever you want, Jisoo," Jennie says.

"I know," I say, trying to sound cheerful. "Actually, I would like to talk to you. Not about anything serious, just to hang out."

"That's sounds great," Jennie says. Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. She still watches me closely as if waiting for me to say something. "I would love to hang out. Honestly, I thought you were avoiding me."

My heart drops inside my chest. I don't want to avoid you, Jennie! I don't want to hurt you! But-

"There you are, babe." Ryan joins us in the mostly empty hallway, his hair covering his eyes. I still don't get what Jennie sees in him. Ryan wraps an arm around Jennie's back.

"Oh, it's you." His eyes narrow into a glare once he sees me. I glare back.

"Guys can you stop acting like you're going to kill each other?" Jennie sighs, shrugging off Ryan's arm.

"Sure," Ryan says. "Anything for you."

Jennie rolls her eyes at the phrase. I stare at her, wishing she would look at me. I'm right here Jennie. Didn't you say you would love to hang out with me? Why did you let him interrupt us?

"Sorry, Jisoo, well talk later," Jennie says, "Ryan and I already planned to go on a date after school."

"Oh, it's fine," I say. Another lie.

"Come on, let's go already," Ryan says, clearly impatient.

"Just a second," Jennie says. She steps towards me and grabs my hand. The gesture shocks and flusters me and I squeeze her hand back.

"We will meet up once I'm free, okay?"  Jennie says. "I'll text you."

"Thank you," I say. "I lo-"

I love you. I stop myself before completing the sentence. I didn't mean to say that outloud. Jennie doesn't comment and instead pulls me into another hug.

"Bye," she whispers into my ear.

"Bye," I whisper back. I'm glad she can't see me blushing.

"Take care of yourself," Jennies whispers. And then she's gone.

(Author's note)

This wasn't supposed to be in parts but it was getting really long so I had to split it up. Also this is loosely based on when I had a crush on my best friend a year or two ago. So this Ryan guy is based off of my friend's boyfriend at the time. Anyway bye!