Imagine being pressured to go on a date and after not being listened to you blurt out the one secret you've kept to yourself for years.

. .

. .

For as long as you can remember, you knew you weren't the same as all the other girls your age. When the time came that all the little girls started to realize the boys didn't have cooties, you didn't understand what the big deal was. To you, boys were still boys and you didn't see anything giggle worthy about them.

But what really made you realize that you didn't like boys was when you were at a birthday party and got locked in the room with a boy named Alex. Everyone had giggled outside the door, explaining that you wouldn't be let outside unless you had kissed. And to prove that you did kiss, there was a polaroid camera that you had to take a selfie with while kissing and then slide it underneath the door in order to be let out. You weren't really nervous, instead you were just annoyed, but Alex looked like he was ready to break a window and leave through it. So you had sighed, smoothed out your expression, and kindly told him that you should just get it over with so you can rejoin the party. Reluctantly he agreed as you took hold of the camera in hand properly, and then hesitantly pressed your lips to his. Quickly you snapped the picture, and then you and Alex jerked apart.

The two of you being disgusted by kissing each other forged a friendship from that day forward.

With Alex came his two best friends Reggie and Luke, and the two boys were quick to accept you when you didn't make fun of them for daydreaming about starting a band one day. Instead you encouraged them and eventually introduced them to your mom who they were immediately infatuated with because of her studio out in the garage. And then as the years slowly passed, it was your mother and father who opened their home to your friends when they started to clash with their own parents because of them starting a band.

Eventually, as the years pass, your little sister Julie joins the hangouts when Luke realizes your sister has an amazing set of pipes on her, and with Julie comes Flynn. There's never a quiet day in the Molina household and your parents couldn't be any happier.

But then your mom's health takes a dive and her diagnosis isn't good. Not at all.

The boys are there for you and your family through your mom going through treatments, and then it feels like they're constantly there when the treatments don't work for your mom anymore. They had tried to keep their distance when funeral arrangements started being made, but after your dad asked where the boys had disappeared off to, they made it their mission to be at your house everyday they could.

Life would never be the same in the Molina household, but the boys did their hardest to make sure not a single Molina lost themselves to their grief.

And then it's right before the start of your senior year of high school that your life unravels once more.

It's tradition that the underclassmen plan every big party to make sure the seniors have a great year, and they've been planning a back-to-school bonfire on the beach. Everyone, including you, is excited for it.

You and Alex are going through your closet and drawers, trying to find the perfect outfit for the bonfire since you had helped him the previous day while out shopping. He's going through your bathing suits when Julie walks in, Luke and Reggie on her heels. Julie and Reggie plop onto your bed, and Luke drops onto the lovesac with a groan.

"So guess what?" Julie excitedly says.

"What?"

"Guess who's been asking around about you and asking whether or not you're single?"

It takes a moment for her words to sink in and when they do, you freeze. You drop the pair of shorts you'd been looking at in order to look at your sister, frowning at her too excited expression. "Please don't play matchmaker."

"What? Y/N!" Your sister whines. "It's your senior year. You're supposed to have fun before you leave for college."

"Julie, no." You shake your head, chuckling softly.

"Come on, Y/N," Luke wheedles. "It's Joshua Parker, co-captain of the football team. You seriously need to get laid before we graduate."

Reggie laughs, turning over onto his stomach and batting his eyelashes at you. "According to the female population of Los Feliz High, he's a total catch. Give him a whirl. I'm sure you'll enjoy it."

You wrinkle your nose at your friends, mock gagging. "Pass. I just- no. Can we please drop the subject?"

"Y/N," Julie tries again, softer this time. "Can I ask you a serious question?"

Your heartbeat starts to skyrocket and you gulp. "What?"

"Why don't you date?" And whew! That was not the question you were expecting. "I've never seen you once go on a date."

You shrug and avert your gaze. "I've got better things to do than shoving my tongue down someone's throat or risking an STD."

There have been numerous times when Julie and Flynn tried to pull you into gushing about anyone you'd had a crush on or ranking the boys from your school by order of hotness. You didn't know how to exactly tell them you weren't into boys, so you always made excuses to get out of it. But now, you're feeling a little bit ambushed and you know this talk is not going to end well.

"But how do you know if you've never-"

"Julie!" You snap. "Enough."

Your sister blinks owlishly at you, and Luke and Reggie lose their smiles. The sudden quiet of your room makes you uncomfortable so you make up a quick excuse to leave.

Alex watches Y/N go with a frown before he's looking back at his stunned friends. "Maybe you guys should lay off Y/N. Not everyone is interested in dating."

Julie is the first to snap out of her stupor, shaking her head softly. "She's just nervous. That's the way I was before she encouraged me to take up Nick's offer to dinner and a movie."

Luke snorts. "And look how well that turned out."

"You know what? Shut up!" Julie chunks a pillow at Luke, but he merely laughs and swats it away.

Alex rolls his eyes at them, turning to go find Y/N. He's had a theory for months now as to why Y/N isn't boy crazy like every other girl he knows, but he's willing to wait and let her come out and say it herself.

◈◈◈

Hours later, you leave the safety of the loft when your dad texts you to help set the table. Inside it's a full house, but only Alex glances at you. He offers you a faint smile and you squeeze his arm as you make your way past him to the cabinets. The table is quickly set and the food is brought to the table, and then everyone is sitting and holding hands for a quick prayer.

"Carlos, you're up," your dad says.

Everyone bows their head as Carlos starts. "Lord, we thank you for our good health and Reggie's amazing cooking skills. Amen."

"Amen," everyone repeats, chuckling as Reggie awws and ruffles Carlos' hair.

Dinner is a normal affair with the boys cracking jokes. But then when your dad asks about the plan for the upcoming bonfire, Julie starts explaining all that's going on while you sit there pushing around the corn on your plate.

"And then Joshua really wants Y/N to be his date for the night, but no," she drawls. "My dear older sister is apparently blind and refuses to go out with him."

You sigh and drop your fork. "This again? Really, Jules?"

"What?" She feigns innocence. "I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy," you deadpan.

"And have fun."

"Luke, Reggie, and Alex are fun."

She rolls her eyes. "With people who aren't like our brothers," she says. "Honestly, we thought you and Reggie had a thing going on-"

"What?!" He squawks.

"But then we saw you helping him get ready for a date with another girl and gave up on welcoming Reggie into the family."

You pinch the bridge of your nose, groaning softly. Ray glances between his daughters and the way the usually three teenage boys are averting their gazes. "Mija, maybe you should just leave your sister be. If she doesn't want to go on a date with Joshua, you shouldn't pressure her."

"Agreed!" You look at your dad with a grateful smile. "Thanks, dad."

This time Julie groans. "But I just don't get it." And your mood quickly sours. "You're beautiful and you can have any boy-"

"Because I don't like boys!" You yell. The dinner table falls deathly silent and your eyes instantly tear up. "I haven't liked boys since I realized I liked girls back in the seventh grade." Still not a word is uttered and your heart cracks just a little. Throwing your napkin down onto your plate, you scoff, "Are you happy now?", as you push your chair back and rush out the front door.

◈◈◈

You've been sitting by the beach for about an hour now, sitting on a low brick wall and staring off into the ocean. You've had numerous texts and calls, but the only texts you replied to are your dad's where you told him you'd be back before curfew. But you should have known someone would look for you no matter what and are relieved to see the pink hoodie out of the corner of your eye. Alex.

"How'd you find me?"

"Tracking app," he says. "I've downloaded it on everyone's phones and hid it on the last page in the random folder no one looks through."

You huff quietly, shaking your head in amusement. "So how pissed is my dad? And how's Jules? I didn't mean to snap at her, but-"

"Hey, I get it," Alex says. He leans over, knocking your shoulder with his. "Keeping a secret like ours takes a toll. And then with Julie pressuring you, it's understandable you snapped."

"I just- I feel so bad," you mutter. Leaning against Alex, you lay your head on his shoulder and you feel him lay his head atop yours.

"Don't. Coming out, it's hard. I should know," he chuckles. "But what I don't understand is why you didn't tell me."

"You mean to tell me you didn't realize I was gay back when we had to kiss in seventh grade?" Alex snorts softly and you push off of him so you can look at him, grabbing one of his hands within your own. "I thought about telling you hundreds of times, but then you came out to your parents and their reaction terrified me. I was scared mom and dad would do the same to me."

"Are you joking? Ray and Rose loved you with their entire beings. Heck your dad still does. He'd never treat you any differently."

"No offense, but we all thought that about your parents too and look how that turned out."

He opens his mouth to retort, but snaps it shut and shrugs. "Fair point."

"And besides, we couldn't know for sure. You never really came out to my parents. We only told them you and your parents no longer saw eye to eye. Dad doesn't know you're gay."

"Also fair point," he sighs. "But if I'm being honest, I don't think Ray will be like my parents. If anything, he's probably more upset that you hid yourself for so long."

"God I hope you're right." The only sound you can hear are the waves lapping at the shore. "Can we just- can we chill here a little longer? I'm not ready to go back."

"Of course. But you're buying me a snack because we didn't finish dinner and I spent the last of my money on an Uber out here."

Snorting, you agree and slide off the wall with Alex's hand still encased in your own.

You and Alex walk to a nearby taco truck, and you buy him whatever he wants. You get yourself two tacos as well, plus two glass bottles of Coke and eat down by the water.

For a couple of hours the two of you walk along the beach and then head down to the pier. You listen to a few random people playing instruments in hopes of making a few dollars, and then right before ten at night you decide it's time to finally head home.

"So what do you'll think I'll be walking into?" You ask.

Alex shrugs. "I'm not sure, but whatever it is I'm sure you'll be fine."

As you drop into the seat behind the wheel, you shoot off a quick text to your dad to let him know you're on your way home. Then as you and Alex are buckling up, you get a reply from him. Quickly reading it, you summarize the text for your friend. "Dad said he wants to speak to us."

"U-Us?"

"Yep." You lock your phone and drop it into the cup holder.

"He knows. He so knows about me," Alex realizes.

You huff a laugh. "On the bright side, it looks like we're in this together."

Instead of blaring music like you normally would, you keep it quiet and talk nonsense to Alex to keep him from freaking out too bad. You're at your house in no time and Alex looks at you as if he's walking to his death.

"Keep it together, Mercer. Wasn't it you who was telling me earlier that my dad would be accepting?"

"Yeah." He nods before looking up at your house. "Yeah. It's going to be fine."

As you and Alex climb out of the car, you meet in front of it and you reach for his left hand with your right. He grabs it, interlocking your fingers, and lets you lead the way inside.

When you step inside your house, your dad is the only one there with the TV playing on low. You and Alex walk into the living room as your dad climbs to his feet, and the tears immediately flow when you see tears gathering in your dad's eyes.

"Mija." Ray's voice cracks as he spreads his arms open for a hug, and a sob escapes your throat as you release Alex's hand and close the distance between you and your dad. Your arms wrap tightly around his waist as you hide your face in his chest, and he shushes you while rocking you back and forth. "I love you no matter what. You do know that, right?"

With your throat tight with emotion, all you can do is nod.

"I'm so sorry you felt the need to hide yourself away. You are my flesh and blood, and I love you with all my heart whether you like boys or girls or neither."

"I-I'm sorry." You cry. "It's just- it's really scary saying it out loud and not knowing for sure how anyone will react."

"I know." You feel Ray's chest shudder with suppressed emotion. "And Alex, please don't be mad but the other boys told me what really happened with your parents. I'm so sorry, mijo. No parent should ever treat their child like something's wrong with them or be dismissed because of who they love."

"I-" Alex's voice cracks and you hear him clear his throat a moment later. "Thank you, Mr. Molina. You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that."

Ray chuckles a little wetly. "Get over here, Alex. You will always be welcomed here, mijo. I just want you to know that."

You feel Alex come up behind you, hugging your dad and squishing you between the both of them. You can't help the giggle that leaves your mouth and as you stand there hugging your dad it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

"Can we get in on that?" You manage to turn your head towards the voice and smile at Carlos. "That looks really fun."

Ray and Alex loosen the hug, and open their arms just so, so Julie and Carlos can join in.

"I'm sorry," Julie mumbles. "If I had known-"

"But you didn't," you say. "And that's my fault, but please stop trying to hook me up with the guys you and Flynn think are fine."

Julie giggles and agrees.

"Does this mean then that when I'm older, me and you can check out girls together?"

You, Alex, and Julie all laugh at Carlos' earnest question as your dad groans. "Sure, Carlitos. I'll totally scope out the girls with you."

"Alright. Now that we've talked," your dad says, "you're needed outside. Please keep your sister and Luke apart."

Julie groans as you snort. "What?"

"Reggie and Luke are out in the studio," Julie explains. "We're having a sleepover."

"Oh. Okay," you say.

As your dad ushers Carlos away with promises that he can stay up to midnight playing his games, you and Alex follow Julie out the back door. You walk down the curving concrete stairs and enter the studio, grinning at the sight of Reggie and Luke on the pullout couch and the lovesac they apparently stole from your room.

"How did you guys even get that down here?"

"It took us about thirty minutes and a fall down the stairs, but we made it," Luke says.

He's stretched out on the pullout couch and it's no surprise that Julie gravitates his way. You and Alex readily kick off your shoes, and Alex chooses to crawl his way in between your sister and Luke while you join Reggie on the lovesac.

Reggie's arm is stretched out, so you slide over to him and curl into his side. The two of you cuddle into one another and it takes a second for something Julie said earlier to come back to you. "So you guys really thought Reggie and I were creeping behind all your backs?"

Reggie laughs. "Why would any of you think that?"

"Are you really asking that right now?" Luke huffs. "Just look at the way the two of you are laying together."

You and Reggie laugh, knowing full well that being wrapped in one another would look pretty compromising. Eventually your laughter tapers off. "Reggie's a cutie, but he's not exactly my type. Honestly, all three of you boys are good looking but you just don't do it for me. Sorry."

Alex chuckles. "Ditto."

"So I know this is kind of rude to ask, but we're family and I'm super curious," Luke says. Immediately Alex and Julie groan. "Did you guys just like know you were gay or did you kiss the opposite sex and realize then that you didn't it?"

Alex remains quiet, so you decide to go first. "I knew that I liked girls before I ever kissed a boy."

"Same. I knew I liked boys before I kissed a girl."

"Bro, no way!" Luke exclaims. "Who'd you kiss?"

"Wait," Julie frowns, "if you knew you were gay beforehand, then why kiss the opposite sex?"

"Because we were locked in a room," you say.

"And they wouldn't let us out unless we kissed and took a polaroid of said kiss as proof," Alex finishes.

There's a moment of silence as your words sink in, and then- "No way!" Reggie laughs. "You and Alex kissed?!"

You can't help but laugh along with him. "We did."

Alex smiles. "I still have the polaroid somewhere in my closet. I took it back so no one could tease us with it."

"You need to find it so I can see it," you muse. "God it's been forever since that happened."

"And to think if it never had happened, we'd probably have never spoken."

Everyone falls silent as they think about Alex's words, but then you break the silence to say, "I'm really glad you were my first and only boy kiss."

"Same. I'm glad you were my only girl kiss as well."

"Aw you guys," Luke coos. "Y/N and Reg, get your butts over here and cuddle us."

You and Reggie rock and roll yourselves out of the lovesac, you letting Reggie smother your sister while you crawl over Luke and Alex. Luke does his best to tuck you under his chin and you laugh briefly before your body starts to relax.

Sighing softly, you say, "I love you guys. Thank you for being so chill about everything."

"We love you too," Luke muses.

As the talking starts to taper off and you feel yourself dozing off, you say, "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner. It's just- I didn't know how-"

"Don't apologize," you sister tells you. "I can't imagine the guts it took to come out and I'm sorry I kind of forced your hand, but we know now and that's all that matters. You and Alex are both loved, and you'll always have a home with us no matter what."

Someone sniffles and then Alex says, "Can someone just hug me?"

You giggle and roll off of Luke, hugging Alex and inadvertently Reggie as well since he had the same idea as you.

"Hey, so if you guys are out," Reggie starts, "does this mean we can finally go to one of those Pride parades?"

Alex snorts. "Reg, we will go to Pride if Luke lets the girls put makeup on him."

"Hey I'm so down," Luke says. "I want rainbow eyeshadow."

"Yeah. Me too!" Reggie agrees.

Julie giggles. "Reg, if we go to Pride we're dressing you up as a fairy."

"Ohh yes!" You lift your head just high enough to nod at your sister. "Reggie's complexion is best to give him an ethereal look with makeup and a pair of fairy wings that we have left over from Halloween. He'd have to be shirtless though, so.."

"Aw man, I'm gonna have to do a lot of sit-ups, aren't I?"

"Yep. But don't worry," you muse. "It'll be well worth it."

"Hey, Luke," Reggie then says. "Ten bucks say I pull more numbers than you."

"You're on, Peters."

As Luke and Reggie bicker about who can pull the most guys, you snuggle into Alex and slowly drift off to sleep. You should have known from the start that you'd be accepted by everyone and you can't believe you wasted so much of your life hiding. But now that everyone who matters knows, you're excited to finally be yourself.