A few days later, I was running late for school (at least by my standards), having stayed up studying far too late into the night. The sunlight, which has been so comforting during my secret jaunt to the park earlier in the week, seemed harsh and unforgiving as it beat down on me from above. Its overwhelming presence, by which I meant existence, led to my simply craving somewhere dark to sleep. My head was pounding, and I almost felt like I was experiencing some type of sensory overload.

Is this what a hangover is like? I'm never going to drink.

I pulled up to my footlocker, and swung it open to change my footwear. Even that seemed to require an amount of energy that was approaching the limits of what I could provide. As I was putting my outdoor shoes away however, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and spun around to see Ichika standing behind me with her hand raised.

Ugh, it's the sweater monster. This is the last thing I need right now.

"Why do I feel like you just thought something really rude about me?" she asked me, her smile never wavering.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Can I help you, Ichika?"

"Hey, you remembered my name! Good, good. Yeah, I need to talk with you."

I made a 'go on' gesture.

"Not here. Also, I want Yotsuba involved too. Can I join you in the library after school today? I promise to not get in the way of the... academics."

This is going to be a pain.

I sighed. "Fine. We usually meet about fifteen minutes after classes let out."

"Gotcha. I'll be there, Fuutarou-kun."

She gave me a wink, and then sauntered away, her hands clasped behind her back as she walked. I watched her go, and then shook my head, trying to clear away the cobwebs induced by my lack of sleep.

Something must be up.

When I entered my classroom, I glanced at the chalkboard, and my heart sank. The people on cleaning duty today were...

Me and the volleyball demon. Great. I'm sure this will go fantastically well.

As I began to walk to my desk, I could hear my classmates whispering amongst themselves. I distinctly heard the phrases 'poor Nakano-san' and 'gloomy loner'. I was also pretty sure I heard somebody say something significantly less complimentary about me, the details of which I was thankful to be able to only partially hear.

I tried to block them out -- there wasn't much else I could do. This had been the norm for the last year and change, ever since I'd arrived at this high school. For some reason, my classmates had collectively decided that because I prioritized studying over inane socialization, I was someone to be despised, or at the very least begrudgingly ignored. Normally, I would simply ignore their words as the asinine blathering of the ignorant masses... but my sleep deprivation had weakened my normally iron-tight emotional control. Their words managed to slide through the narrow chinks in my armour, and stung significantly more than I would care to admit.

I sat down at my desk and pulled out my schedule. First period was math, and then we had physical education after that. I glanced up to see Itsuki enter the room, have essentially the same reaction I did at the chalkboard notice, and then mopily make her way to her desk. As she sat down, I was watching her, and so for the first time in a week, we made actual eye contact.

I gave her a nod, and then turned back to the front of the room. As I was turning, I saw her scowl in response.

Great. Even more negativity.

I sighed, and slouched down on my desk.

I need a nap.

Unfortunately, sleep was impossible: I wasn't the sort of student who could allow myself to snooze through a lecture. Drearily, I recorded more notes on the topic of the day -- we were still on trigonometric identities? -- and idly wondered what Ichika intended to talk to us about.

Before I knew it, the class had been let out, and we all made our way to the changing rooms for our physical education class. As I got dressed, I absent-mindedly rubbed the spot on the back of my head where Itsuki had bombarded me with a volleyball the week prior. It had pretty much entirely healed within a few days, but the indignity remained.

Maybe I just shouldn't sit next to the net this time, since her aim is that terrible...

Today, we were playing badminton, which meant that the boys and girls were playing singles together. The entire gymnasium had been lined up with nets, and each of us was handed a racquet and a birdie. The class was essentially set into one round-robin tournament, first to eleven points in each game being crowned the winner. The nets formed two lines, and so after each game, the player on the inside would rotate to the next court, after recording their win (or loss) with the teacher.

I didn't really hold much hope, not being the athletic type at all. However...

Her aim is so bad... maybe I can take a point off Itsuki, at least?

We started playing, and as expected, I got absolutely demolished. Within about five minutes, sweat was pouring down my face, and I had yet to take a point off any of my opponents, let alone win a game. With one of the girls in the class, I at least managed to have a few rallies that lasted at least a minute, but she always ended up winning them. By the time I was halfway around the circle, I was feeling deeply ambivalent about the whole ordeal -- I was doomed to failure anyways.

Then I arrived at Itsuki's court.

The redhead across from me seemed to be in about the same state I was in; maybe slightly better off, but not by much. Her face was flushed a deep red from the physical exertion, and she was still panting from the last bought.

"Uesugi."

Huh, she acknowledged me at least.

"Hey, Nakano-san. How goes the tournament for you? I'm getting absolutely battered," I said, my apathy regarding the whole thing making itself known in my voice.

"I've got one win so far, but everything else has been pretty bad."

She then stretched, and then held her racquet up towards me.

"I'm about to get my second though."

Given I was on the verge of sleep before we started this damn tournament, that's probably true.

I yawned, stifling it with my hand. "Bring it on, then."

For some reason, this seemed to inflame Itsuki, because she hit the birdie quite hard for her first serve. Unfortunately for her, she hit it pretty high in the air from her side serve, giving me ample time to manoeuvre to receive it. My return hit sent the birdie back over the net -- barely. As it dropped towards the hardwood floor, my opponent lunged forward, and just managed to hit the birdie back up into the air. As it rose, however, I rushed forward and slammed my racket down at the thing, intending to spike it into the floor on Itsuki's side of the net.

I intended to do that.

But I missed.

The birdie went up past my racket, up into the air, and then turned back around. It fell back towards the earth, and bonked me square on the head.

Then, it just... balanced there.

"Wha--"

Itsuki stared up at me, and then snorted.

"What the heck is that?!"

Without moving, I glanced upwards. Obviously, I couldn't see the birdie, but I could feel that it was balanced on its rounded tip on my head. I could feel my cheeks heat up slightly.

This is physically so unlikely. Balancing on the tip isn't a stable equilibrium point. How does that even happen!?

I sighed. "I have no clue what just happened, but it kinda hurt."

I then leaned forward, letting the birdie fall down and hit the floor -- I didn't trust myself to rally the thing from on top of my own head, plus it had been a contact foul anyways.

I picked the birdie up, and tossed it over the net.

"Your point, Nakano-san."

We continued in that fashion for another four rallies, each with Itsuki getting a point off of me, before I finally brought the score to 5-1. It was, in my opinion, a beautiful sequence -- I shot the birdie just over the net, Itsuki returned it, and I sent it right back to the far-left corner. She barely failed to make it in time.

Both of us were pouring sweat at this point though, and I was honestly feeling a bit faint. I took a deep breath, and then squared my shoulders.

Come on. I can't let the volleyball demon clobber me. I need to at least make some kind of a comeback here.

I swung my racket at the birdie for my serve and it sailed over the net: right into the racquet of Itsuki, who was in the front-inside corner of her square. She immediately diverted it towards the line on my side, and I needed to lunge to return it. I hit it too high, making it easy for Itsuki to position herself to strike.

However, I saw her squint, and then miss the swing.

5-2.

She tossed the birdie back over the net to me, clearly frustrated at the miss. "The light from the ceiling got in my eyes."

"I see."

She pouted. "It did!"

"I believe you."

She glared at me, and then huffily returned to her square. I got the sense that she didn't believe me.

I subsequently slowly managed to drag the score back to near-level terms, though she was able to get a few more points off me. It was 8-7 for her, and the person on the court to my left was already patiently waiting to come on -- but I wasn't about to give up.

I repeated the same procedure of arcing the birdie so that it was lost in the lights. Itsuki squinted at it, but then her eyes widened, and she slammed her racquet into it full-force. Unfortunately for her, she sacrificed some accuracy for that power, and so instead of slamming into the court, it slammed into my face.

I got knocked off balance, and fell to the court, the birdie flying in a beautiful recoiling arc in the air while surrounded by glittering sweat blasted off of my nose. As I reeled back and fell, all that crossed my mind was...

What a beautiful arc.

Then, after that,

Ah... she hit me again.

Then I hit the floor, and a second later, the birdie hit the ground too. Thud, clunk.

"O-Oh no! Uesugi-san, I'm sorry!"

I absent-mindedly stared up at the ceiling. Huh. The honourific is back.

I sat up, and gingerly felt my nose. There didn't seem to be any blood or anything like that -- it just stung a bit.

"I'm fine. Going for the contact foul, huh? Very underhanded of you, Nakano-san."

"That was not on purp-- wait, huh? Uh, I mean... yes! Yes, that is what I intended to do! You were foolish to challenge me, Uesugi!"

Aaaaand there it goes again. Also, why does she sound like a chuuni...?

I sighed, and got to my feet. After brushing myself off -- not that there was dust on the floor, the gym was practically spotless -- I picked up the birdie and approached the net to toss it over. As I got to the net, Itsuki whispered,

"Sorry..."

"It's fine. Just please refrain from giving me more sports injuries."

I tossed the birdie over, and Itsuki caught it out of the air. She had a somewhat upset look on her face that I couldn't quite read, but she made her way to her box, and waited for me to return to mine.

As the birdie went back and forth over the net, I was surprised at myself. While normally I was loathe to participate in sports at all, against Itsuki it was somehow... enjoyable. The friendly competition, exerting myself... I was having a significantly better time than I had expected.

She's fun to play against.

In the midst of my introspection, or perhaps because of it, I missed the birdie entirely, and it slammed into the court.

9-7.

As much fun as I may have been having, the game was rapidly leaving my reach.

The next rally went on for about a minute, before I finally managed to fake Itsuki out, reflecting her volley across the court and landing the birdie slightly within the white lines demarcating the in-bounds region.

9-8.

My next serve was beautifully executed, in my opinion, landing in the far corner of her box. She didn't stand a chance of making it there.

9-9.

My follow-up serve hit the top of the net, flipped over, and landed barely outside of the box. As she went to pick up the birdie, Itsuki smirked. Through my own folly, she had pushed me to the brink.

10-9.

Itsuki's serve was extremely well executed, but I barely managed to make it. The subsequent rally went on for well over a minute, before the redhead finally put the game away with a spike into the bottom-left corner of my side of the court, over a yard away from my outstretched racquet.

Final score. 11-9 Nakano.

As the birdie skittered away, I fell back onto the floor, and then laid down on my back, breathing heavily. I hadn't sweat this intensely in years. Looking over to the other side of the net, I could see that Itsuki was in a similar state -- staring up at the ceiling and looking like she was going to vomit from the sheer exertion.

The guy who was waiting to play her after me came and stood over me.

"So, uh... Uesugi-san... you gonna... move?"

"Give me a second, I'm dying here."

"...Right."

I forced myself up into a sitting position, and put my head between legs -- I'd read somewhere that this was a good recovery position after physical exertion. Then, my muscles screaming in protest, I stood up and staggered over to the net. Itsuki was still on the ground, her face looking quite pale. I ducked under the net, and then leaned over her. Her eyes focused on me, and I smirked down at her.

"Are you going to survive there, Nakano-san? Should I call an ambulance?"

"J-Jerk," she said, still breathing heavily.

I snorted, and then coughed into my elbow as my lungs complained. I then extended my hand. "Want help up?"

A moment of, I presume, conflict flickered across Itsuki's face, and then she grasped my extended hand, and I helped haul her to her feet. She seemed a little unsteady, so I held on for an extra second, and then let go.

"Good game, Nakano-san. I guess you got that win after all." I sighed. "I'm still winless. Oh well, such is the life of a wayward academic."

"I may not... be Yotsuba," she said, taking deep breaths between words, "but I'm more than enough... to handle you."

I mentally winced. Ouch. Fair, but ouch.

At that moment, the teacher blew their whistle, and called the period to an end. The guy who had been waiting to play started muttering obscenities to himself as he left with no game against the transfer student. The teacher announced that the tournament would continue in the next class, with the arrangements changed so that everyone got a chance to face everybody.

A bit unsteady on her feet, Itsuki made her way to the changing room, and I followed suit (to the men's. Not hers. Obviously.) after reporting my loss to the teacher, who gave me a somewhat disapproving look after taking a glance at my record. I took a quick shower, as I was absolutely drenched in sweat, and then changed back into my clothes.

It's a good thing physical education doesn't affect my grades.

The next two periods were a complete blur -- I had been absolutely shattered before destroying any and all remaining energy reserves in the match against Itsuki. While I was sure I didn't sleep, not a single word said in those classes remained in my active memory -- though my notes were, naturally perfect. The only thing I was vaguely aware of was the fact that Itsuki had begun drilling holes in the back of my skull again with her eyes. If I had to venture a guess, however, it seemed that it was less of a glare now. It seemed more... curious. The hostility was gone, or at the very least significantly reduced.

Somehow, that gave me a strange sense of hope. In between the softening of her gaze, and the fun we'd -- or at least, I'd -- had with our badminton game, there was some small part of me that wondered if there was an opportunity arising. A chance to overwrite our terrible start, and possibly achieve something at least approximating reconciliation.

I'd had... opportunities to make friends before, but I'd rapidly reached the point of always rejecting those opportunities. I'd learned quite quickly that those so-called friends -- acquaintances, really -- would soon grow frustrated with my predilection for studying, and lash out. The first few years after I'd begun to study in earnest, I'd had one or two people I occasionally spent time with -- but when those relationships fell apart, they had not been clean breaks.

Since then, I had been entirely alone.

Some small part of me, however, was slowly beginning to consider the possibility that there might be a path forward beyond Itsuki hating my guts. Perhaps she could turn out to be different from my previous acquaintances.

After all, her sister seems to be. That gives me hope.

When lunchtime finally arrived, I gingerly packed my books away, wincing as my muscles ached. My bag thrown back over my shoulder, I was beginning to leave the classroom when my eyes glanced over at the names written on the chalkboard.

I need to let Yotsuba and Ichika know that I'll be late for the study session this afternoon.

I absent-mindedly pulled my phone out of my pocket, and looked at my contacts.

Raiha and my dad. That was it.

Ugh, this is inconvenient. I'll need to go and actually track them down.

I made my way to the cafeteria, ordered my usual lunch, and then went and sat down at my usual table in the corner. I kept a studious eye out, and eventually I saw Ichika, Itsuki, Nino, and the fifth quintuplet that I hadn't met yet -- the headphones girl -- walk in with their food, and sit down together. I left my tray on my table and began heading over towards theirs, but then I saw Yotsuba enter as well. She spotted me, and walked over.

"Hey Uesugi! Hope you don't mind, but I'm planning to go sit with my sisters today. I've been kinda missing having lunch with them."

"Hmm? That's totally fine, you aren't obligated to sit with me or anything."

Then, an idea struck me. Let's kill two birds with one stone.

"Hey, Yotsuba, did Ichika talk to you about a meeting later today?"

Yotsuba nodded.

"Yep, she did. Something about a strategy meeting? She said that she wanted to meet after school during our study session."

...Strategy meeting? What does the sweater monster have planned?

"Ok, then that makes this easier. I'm going to be a bit later than usual, I have clean-up duty for the classroom today with your sister. Would you mind letting Ichika know, since you're having lunch with her?"

"Sure, but with my sister...? Oh right, Itsuki's in your class. Why so vague, Uesugi-san?"

I frowned. "I met her first, so I call her Nakano-san, but it feels weird calling her that around you."

Yotsuba laughed. "Then just call her Itsuki. You insisted on calling Nino by her name, what's the difference?"

"It just feels weird, given our current... antipathy."

"Antipathy? I don't really get it, but I guess call her whatever feels right to you. Anyways, I gotta go, Uesugi-san. I'll see you after school!"

With that, Yotsuba went to join her sisters, and I turned around and went back to my table. Luckily, nobody had stolen my miso soup, which I was sure was the hottest commodity in the school. After all, it only cost 200 yen. An irreplaceable deal!

I spent the lunch break studying, but I felt strangely like I was being watched the whole time. However, whenever I looked up, the tables around me weren't staring at me at all. Finally, as I finished my food and prepared to head back to class, I cast my gaze further afield. With that, I found the culprit. The girl with the headphones was blatantly staring at me from across the cafeteria, insofar as she could actually see me.

Is this staring thing genetic?!

I made direct eye-contact with her, but she unabashedly kept staring at me. I gave her a nod, and then stood up to leave. She seemed to almost absent-mindedly break the eye contact at that point to say something to Nino, who looked to be very passionately complaining about something. From Nino's reaction to the comment, it seemed like the headphone girl had told her to settle down. Looking slightly to the left of the bickering pair, I saw that Yotsuba had a fairly upset look on her face. Itsuki looked quite passionate as well, and was nodding repeatedly. I couldn't see Ichika's face.

Hopefully that discussion has nothing to do with me. I want to go home and sleep.

The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur, but my exhaustion was palpable at this point. At times, I even caught myself beginning to doze off. As the second-last period ended, I was pinching myself just to stay awake. With great regret, I decided that I needed to commit the ultimate cardinal sin -- spending money on food and drink outside of lunch hours.

They should probably make that the eighth deadly sin. In which case, call me a sinner, I guess.

I got up, and quickly left the classroom to go to the location of my saviour in these trying times. I made my way up a flight of stairs, and then there they were: a pair of vending machines, serving lightly caffeinated beverages for relatively low prices. Yet, nevertheless, relatively low prices were not, in and of themselves, low prices. I sighed. Sacrifices had to be made.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

As I put in the 350 yen to buy a caffeinated tea, I heard voices passing by on the floor below me, a small snippet of conversation filtering up the stairs.

"...Nino seems super adamant about it. This really could be a problem if we don't nip it in the bud soon. You know how impressionable Itsuki can be sometimes -- she just keeps going back and forth."

The sweater monster.

"You seem pretty invested in this, Ichika. Why are you going so far?"

A voice I don't recognize.

"Can't I just want my little sister to be happy? After all..."

The voices faded away, and I realized I had unconsciously pressed myself up against the vending machines. I pulled myself away from them, sighed, and then popped my drink open. As the cool tea entered my mouth, I could already feel my mind clearing, at least to an extent.

Ah yes, the sweet, sweet power of placebo.

As I lowered the can, a frown crossed my face. Now that I was thinking back on it, Itsuki's staring into the back of my head had felt a lot more glare-like than stare-like since lunch. The relative warmness that had entered into it after our badminton match seemed to have been extinguished, perhaps wiped out by whatever discussion had occurred at the quintuplets' table.

Somehow... it stung.

Relative warmness is, in and of itself, not warmness. Just like low prices. Don't mistake things, Uesugi Fuutarou. You've made this exact error before. Shape up.

I pressed my head against the cool glass of the vending machine, and sighed.

This is a royal pain in my ass. I don't want to have to deal with this.

I threw back my head and drank the entire rest of the tea in one sitting.

That was a 275 yen tea at best. I threw my soul away for this?!

I threw the can in the bin, and returned to the classroom for the final period, which was Japanese history. For the first time that day, I really was able to pay close attention as my teacher talked about various Sengoku era warlords. I kept my notes handy, but my reinvigorated ability to follow the lesson came with an unfortunate side-effect -- I was now keenly aware of the hostility radiating from Nakano Itsuki.

Ugh. If I hadn't overheard that conversation, I wouldn't even be thinking about this. Maybe you're imagining things. Maybe this whole situation is just in your head. It wouldn't be the first time you've misread a social situation. Let's not assume the worst.

I didn't believe my own reassurances, and silently mourned the possibility of a change in my circumstances that I had briefly envisioned that morning. My brooding was soon interrupted, however, by the ringing of the bell, signalling the end of the school day. As my classmates packed up their bags and broke out into individual conversations, I packed my bag as well, but remained seated. Finally, as they filtered out, the room was left empty save for myself and Nakano Itsuki.

I stood up, walked to the front of the room, and dropped my bag next to the podium.

"How would you like to divide up the cleaning duties, Nakano-san?"

Itsuki was still at the back of the room, and was pointedly not making eye contact with me.

Seriously?

"Nakano-san?"

She stood up.

"I don't care how we divide things."

"Excuse me...?"

"I said I don't care. Let's just get this over with."

"Alright, then..." I said, frowning. She seemed to be radiating even more hostility than usual. It was beginning to irritate me.

"The sooner we finish, the sooner I can get out of here, so that I don't have to see your face any longer than I have to," she spat.

I froze.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the fact that I'd foolishly allowed myself to entertain the possibility of reconciliation. Maybe it was the fact that I still had Ichika's overheard words echoing around in my head. Maybe it was even left-over anxiety from my encounter with Nino a few days prior.

Regardless, her words hurt. A lot.

The last moribund wisps of my hope of the morning were brutally extinguished. In their place was a slowly-growing rage.

Ok, you know what? I've put up with enough of this crap.

"Fine." I growled. "You know what? I'll take out the trash to the incinerator at the back, and then sort the recycling in the halls. You can do the desks and the chalkboards. If we do that, you can stay here, and I'll be out in the hallway. That way, you don't have to see my damn face for a damn second longer than you have to!"

I spat the last bit out with more venom than I'd intended, but perhaps with as much as I felt. With everything that had happened today, and over the last week -- and hell, over the last five years, something in me snapped.

Itsuki physically recoiled at my words, but I wasn't sure why -- how the hell did she think I would respond to that?

Not that I particularly cared what she thought.

I've had enough.

I walked over to the garbage bin in the room, pulled the bag out and tied it up. I then started for the door, pointedly not looking at her.

"Uesugi-san..."

"I don't care. Have the room to yourself," I growled, and pointedly closed the door behind me, leaving her in the empty classroom with wide eyes, her hand outstretched. Leaving -- fleeing, really -- I made my way out of the school to the incinerator out back, and as I did so, I could feel the anger and frustration coursing through me.

I don't think anything I ever did deserved that.

When I reached the incinerator, I tossed the heavy clear plastic bag into the bin. Something about just violently throwing the trash seemed to give a very slight sense of catharsis, like taking out frustrations on a punching bag.

I don't think I did anything to deserve any of this.

I stood in front of the incinerator for a few moments, and then looked around. There was a bench nearby, near a grouping of trees. I lowered myself onto the wooden slats, and took some deep breaths, attempting to calm myself back down, to try and centre myself, and recover my usual iron-tight emotional control. I looked up at the sky, listened to the birds chirping, felt the cool September wind on my face...

Calm down. Calm. Caaaaaaaalm. Who cares what she says? The only things that matter in life are getting the top score I can, and my family. The opinion of some girl I've barely spoken to doesn't matter. People have been saying crap like this to you for years. Besides, think about the good things that happened today! You almost won a sport! You got to try that fancy 350-yen tea! Talk about splurging, Uesugi Fuutarou! Wow!!

Yeah, as expected, it wasn't working. Also, even I knew that calling a 350 yen tea "fancy" unironically was pathetic.

Besides, that was exactly the problem -- people had been saying this crap to me for years, though never quite that directly. The fact that I put on a façade of imperturbability didn't take away from the fact that it was precisely that -- a façade. To hear the same vitriol I'd been hearing whispered by everyone else around me for years hurled directly at me from the mouth of a girl I'd essentially only just met: it felt like I was stuck in a vicious cycle, one from which I could never escape.

There was a deep, despairing sense of hopelessness that came along with that.

Not feeling better in the slightest, I returned inside the building, and navigated my way back to the classroom. As I emptied the recycling bins that were in the hall into a single bag, I heard the sound of erasers being smacked together inside the room, presumably near the window. I also thought I heard a sniffling sound from inside, but I wasn't sure.

I didn't look.

The recycling depot was on the other end of the school, which gave me a long walk to kill time. Once I finally got there, I meticulously sorted everything, making sure that every single piece of recyclable trash was in the correct bin. Finally, satisfied that the job was done, I slowly made my way back to the classroom, hoping against hope that I had spent enough time meandering to ensure that Itsuki wouldn't still be there when I got back.

As I walked, I could feel the anger starting to dissipate as I continued to take deep breaths, forcing my heart rate to lower. As it slowly diffused away, the vacuum that remained was just a deep sense of emptiness.

I almost felt... numb.

When I returned, I couldn't hear any movement inside. I opened the door, and Itsuki was gone. The chairs were on top of the desks, and the chalkboard was clean.

Well, mostly clean. There was one small word written in the bottom-right corner of the chalkboard.

Sorry.

"Yeah, that's not going to cut it," I muttered to myself, a brief spark of irritation flaring up before flickering out again.

Finally alone in the room, I picked up my school-bag that I had deposited next to the podium, went back to my seat, and returned the chair to the floor. I slowly sank into it, and stared out the window at the birds flitting from tree, to tree, to tree. My bag slowly lowered to the floor, and I watched the branches sway outside, and the sounds of stragglers heading home.

The anger was fully gone now, and all that remained was this deep, suffocating sense of hopelessness. A sense that I was doomed to repeat this process over and over and over again for the rest of my life. I just felt completely and utterly numb -- and the emotional vulnerability caused by the sleep deprivation wasn't helping.

Then, suddenly, it felt like something cracked inside of me. Five years worth of isolation, five years of rejection, it all fought against the iron control of my will, and like steel girders rusted through, that will creaked and groaned, and then buckled, and then gave way against the insurmountable force pressing against it.

The vacuum, which moments before had contained only numbness, seemed to suddenly fill with emotion, and I felt the pressure build up, like a river that had been dammed, and had finally found free passage. Though just a small hole, the explosive power behind its containment provided an unstoppable current.

"Why does this always happen?" I murmured.

And then slowly, against my will, violently, the dam burst, flooding the plains below.

Fifteen minutes later, I opened the door to the library and made my way inside. I could hear Yotsuba's laughter and the smooth voice of the sweater monster inside. For a moment, part of me hesitated... and then I stepped out of the bookshelves and into the study area.

"Oh, Uesugi-san, there you are! I was just telling Ichika about this amazi... Eh?! Uesugi-san? Are you ok? Your eyes are all red and puffy."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, my voice slightly cracking. "Just got some dust from the chalkboard in them. Don't worry about it."

Neither of them looked like they bought it.

"Sorry, guys. I think I need to go home today. My apologies for making you wait like this, Ichika. You too, Yotsuba."

I then turned around, and started leaving the library as quickly as I could. However, I didn't quite make it.

I heard the scrape of a chair, and then I suddenly felt a firm grip on my wrist, stopping me from leaving.

"Uesugi-san."

I turned around, and saw that Yotsuba had come and grabbed me. She was staring up at me with a visibly distraught look on her face, her bow wilted over like spoiled onions.

"Don't go. There's obviously something wrong. I know we haven't known each other that long, but... please talk to me. I want to hear it."

I stared at her for a long while -- it felt like hours, but was probably only a few seconds. Then, numbly, I nodded. Yotsuba led me back to the table, and I sat down between her and Ichika, as opposed to across the table from them. Something in the back of my brain noted that I should be embarrassed to be in such close physical proximity to them... but I was honestly too exhausted to care.

Wait, did I ever care about that?

"So, Fuutarou-kun," Ichika said from her seat, "How about you tell us what happened?"

For once, she seemed sincere. I took a deep breath, and then leaned back in the seat, my head bent back and staring at the ceiling. Above us, the fluorescent lights burned themselves into my eyes, but I wasn't really looking at them at all.

I'm not really sure how to explain this. I don't really want to admit that I haven't had any friends in almost half a decade. I'm... not sure I have much choice though.

Then I sighed, and began talking.

"When Nakano-san and... uh, sorry. When Itsuki and I first met -- I guess about ten days ago now? -- we got off to a rough start. She was... insensitive, and you know how I am as well. I said some pretty rude things to her. The next day, I apologized after she whacked me in the head with a volleyball, but she didn't really accept it. I got the sense she wanted to patch things up, though. I missed part of the class because of being in the infirmary, and she offered to share her notes with me. They were kind of useless though, to be honest. Completely wrong."

At this, Ichika snorted, then put her hand over her mouth. I rolled my head to the side to look up at her, one eyebrow raised.

"Sorry, sorry. Please continue."

"Anyways, I pointed out that I couldn't use them, and she got upset again -- which, looking back, was probably a bit tactless of me. I think it was meant as some kind of peace offering."

I rolled my head back to stare up at the lights above me. "Then she embarrassed herself in front of me in the library that day while you were here, Ichika, and I think that really put the nail in the coffin for her. Since then, she's been just constantly staring at the back of my head in class, glaring at me whenever I make eye contact with her, and just pointedly avoiding me.

"Then, I get confronted by Nino a few days ago, and I find out Itsuki's been badmouthing me behind my back. Fine, whatever, I get it -- Nino's her sister, she's allowed to express her feelings to her. However, since that day, I've been getting intermittent glares at my back all the time. Then, finally, today I thought things got better..."

I held my hand up straight, admiring the way the light seemed to almost shine through parts of my fingers, illuminating them in red.

Stop getting distracted by physics, Fuutarou.

"We had a gym class today, and Itsuki and I had an amazing match of badminton with each other. I... had a lot of fun. I thought she did too. I really started to feel some hope that... maybe we could make amends. I... wanted that."

Ichika and Yotsuba were both silent, waiting for me to continue -- but it took me a few seconds to feel like I could really get the words out.

"I've been mostly alone for the last few years: at least since starting high school, but before that as well. That doesn't normally bother me -- or at least, I try not to let it -- because it's something I chose for myself. There's always some hope of that changing, of course... but I have things I can't compromise on, and our classmates are... not exactly the most intelligent, to put it mildly. Having that hope though... that's dangerous. You get burned."

There was another silence, and I glanced at both of their faces. Ichika's face was impossible to read, as usual. Yotsuba's was pretty simple to read though -- she was just listening. I was somewhat relieved to not see pity on her face.

"Anyways, after you guys had lunch together, she seemed really upset. Her desk was just a source of pure malice. I didn't really understand what changed -- though to be honest, I didn't really even notice the difference until near the end of the day.

"Anyways, I was on cleaning duty with her today... and that hope I had got completely snuffed out, once and for all. I asked her how she wanted to divvy up the cleaning duties, and she announced that she didn't care how we divided things up, she just wanted to get it done as quickly as possible so that she didn't, and I quote, 'have to see my face anymore'. I think that was just the straw that broke the camel's back -- I got really, really angry, and essentially stormed out of the place to do the garbage and the recycling."

There was a pause, and then Ichika prompted, "...and?"

"Then, a while later... I came here," I finished lamely.

I sat up, and stared at the narrow sets of windows that ran along the top of the wall of the library to let in natural light. I hadn't really vocalized the extent to which Itsuki's words had hurt -- to be frank, I wasn't totally sure I understood it myself yet. On the surface, I'd certainly had significantly worse things said about me before now. The effect it'd had frightened me -- some part of me was scared of feeling that sense of hopelessness that had briefly consumed me again. I didn't like the places that seemed to lead; murky caves whose depths I most sincerely did not wish to explore.

It must be the accumulation, not the triggering event, I decided. That's the only thing that makes sense. Like a convergent perturbative series, where each little contribution leads to a whole which is by no means tiny.

Somehow, I wasn't satisfied with that answer. Nevertheless, after having verbalized things... I felt significantly better.

After my words, there was silence for a few moments, and then finally Ichika let out a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry, Fuutarou-kun. I think this may have been partially my fault."

I turned to look at her in shock. "Wait... what? How?"

Ichika shifted uncomfortably under my gaze. "Since your... shall we say, confrontation with Nino a few days ago, if you get brought up she get really annoyed. Not in the genuinely upset kind of way, but in the funny, "this really grinds my gears" kind of way. You know? So Yotsuba mentioned to me that you were going to be late for our meeting, and that set Nino off a little bit, and I... kind of decided to wind her up a bit more, because I thought it would be funny."

Yotsuba frowned on the other side of me. "That's a really bad habit of yours, Ichika."

She shrugged helplessly. "In my defence, it was hilarious."

That's a terrible defence. Also, as I thought, it was about me.

"...and?" I ventured. "How does this translate to Itsuki biting my head off?"

Ichika sighed, and leaned forward onto her crossed arms on the table.

"Nino's not really mad at you: if anything, I think she kind of liked the fact that you were sassing her, though she'll never admit it. More importantly though -- and this is going to sound bad, now that I think about it -- she just doesn't really care about her relationship with you. Itsuki, on the other hand, I think has a lot more complicated feelings, and so when Nino starts ranting about how much a jerk you are, I think it affects her a lot; it reminds her of the times you were a jerk, and it sways her in that direction. You said there was a big shift after lunch -- that's probably why. And that makes it my fault, for winding Nino up."

I pondered it for a moment. "Yeah, come to think of it, I guess it does."

Ichika winced, then smiled resignedly. "Here I thought you would try and comfort me, and tell me I didn't do anything wrong."

I stared at her blankly. "What about my personality ever made you think I would do something like that?"

From behind me, I heard Yotsuba snort, and then start cackling. Ignoring her, I continued.

"You did do something wrong. I guess I could have lied and said you didn't -- there are, after all, times when honesty isn't the best course of action... but I don't think this is one of them. If you know that your actions had consequences and hurt other people, you probably won't do them again."

Then I sighed, and lowered my head to the table.

"Not that I have any room to criticize you, though. This whole thing has been riddled with my missteps."

Ugh, human relationships are hard.

Then a thought occurred to me, and I turned my head to look at Yotsuba, who gave a little start as we made eye contact.

"That reminds me, Yotsuba. You looked really upset during lunch. Are you ok? What was that about?"

"H-Huh? Me? Why would you ask about that? You're the one we're trying to comfort right now, Uesugi-san!"

I raised an eyebrow at her, and then she placed her hand on her heart.

"I'm afraid I can't answer you, Uesugi-san! You see, I plead the fifth!"

I rolled my eyes. "You can't plead the fifth, Yotsuba, you're Japanese."

A look of genuine shock crossed over her face. "Wait, I can't? Does that mean I've gotta squeal?"

I sat up and shook my head. Despite myself, a small smile slipped out onto my face.

"Idiot. You listened to me, I can listen to you."

Yotsuba grinned widely. "Hey, I got you to smile. That's a win in my books!"

Then her face dropped into a blank stare. "I'll never talk, officer. You'll have to kill me first!"

I sighed, and gently bonked her on the head. "You fool."

She laughed, and then leaned back in her chair to make eye-contact with Ichika on the other side of me. "You proud of me, Ichika? Operation 'Make-Uesugi-San-Not-Sad' is a success!"

"What kind of operation name is that?" Ichika asked. "Though it does look like it worked, so I'll give you some credit for that, Yotsuba. Good job."

As the two chattered on, I noted that Yotsuba had avoided actually answering my question. I decided to let it go -- if she didn't want to tell me, presumably there was a good reason for it. I didn't particularly feel like pushing the matter, anyways. After everything that had happened today, I was just absolutely emotionally exhausted. All I really wanted to do was go home and curl up in my futon.

"By the way, Ichika," I said, interrupting their discussion. "You called us here for a reason, correct?"

"Ah, right," Ichika said. "Actually, I called you here, but it was Yotsuba's idea originally. We've been talking about this for the last couple of days, and I figured it was time to take action, so I decided to call a strategy meeting."

I turned to look at Yotsuba. She looked a little... embarrassed?

"Hey, the strategy meeting was all you! Uh... well, basically, Uesugi-san... I just thought that it would be great if you and my sisters got along more. I want them to see how great you are, and for you to see how great they are! It... makes me sad that it seems like you guys fight a lot. I thought resolving the conflicts might be a little difficult by myself though, so I asked Ichika for help."

I silently turned back to Ichika, and raised an eyebrow.

"So, anyways, that's why I called you here," Ichika said. "The timing was just an unfortunate accident. Yotsuba wanted you to get along with Itsuki and Nino, and I want my sister to be happy, so I'll help with this dilemma."

Then she winked at me. "Besides, you're an... interesting guy. I'm happy to help."

"Uh huh..."

I have absolutely no idea how to take that.

I turned back to Yotsuba. "So, what do you want me to do? Most of the time, Itsuki's picking a fight with me, not the other way around, and Nino's issue with me is that I spend time with you. What's your resolution?"

Yotsuba laughed nervously. "I hadn't fully figured that part out yet. That's why this is a strategy meeting! Strategy! You don't have a strategy meeting when you've already figured out the strategy, that would be a strategy notice!"

She then coughed. "A-hem! Anyways, I hereby declare Operation 'Make-Uesugi-San-Friends-With-Itsuki-And-Nino' in motion. Hear ye, hear ye!"

I stared blankly at her. Somehow this went from me getting along with them to us being friends...

"Operation 'Make-Me-Friends-With-Itsuki-And-Nino'? That's the second laziest operation name I've heard all day."

Yotsuba tilted her head. "What was the laziest? Also, please don't change the name of the operation like that! You've gotta say the full thing!"

"Operation 'Make-Uesugi-San-Not-Sad' was, somehow, even lazier."

Yotsuba pouted. "I spent a lot of time thinking up that name!"

...what were the rejected candidates, then?!

Ichika then piped up. "The name doesn't really matter, the strategy is what matters. There's a secret to dealing with Itsuki and Nino... well, really to dealing with all of us, actually. I'll tell you if you're a good boy, Fuutarou-kun."

I turned to look at her, intrigued.

"Really? Excellent, that would be a huge help!"

Ichika seemed a bit caught off guard by my sudden burst of straight-forward enthusiasm, but then her smile returned. Having captured my attention, Ichika lazily stretched her arm up into the air, pulling on it with her other arm. She sighed with pleasure, and then turned back to me, taking her time to speak.

"We're not just quintuplets, after all. We're individual people too. So, the approach you have to take for each of us is different. With Nino, you have to be as strong as she is -- good job on that, by the way. She'll come around on her own, I'm not really worried about her, except for the knock-on effect on Itsuki. With Itsuki herself though... you need to be gentle and kind. If you embarrass her or hurt her, she'll hide away her pain, and cry in secret. She's sensitive in that regard, but she's too proud and stubborn to ever acknowledge it to your face. If you think a little bit more about what you say to her, and honestly apologize... I think things are salvageable. It may take a while, though."

She lowered her arm, and made direct eye-contact with me.

"I think she probably wanted to be your friend, and then felt like she was rejected. That probably stung a bit, but if it'd been just that, she'd have gotten over it. It wasn't though; then, she embarrassed herself in front of you, and then you rejected her help in front of the class, and then you overheard her admitting weakness to me, and that probably just added insult to injury. Things have just been ambiguous since then -- it's no wonder they're only getting worse.

"You have to be gentle, Fuutarou-kun. Gentle."

Then she winked at me. "Oh, and you should be gentle with me too."

I ignored the remark at the end, and thought back on my previous encounters with Itsuki. She... wanted to be my friend, huh? Could have fooled me. But maybe... maybe she has as much trouble with people as I do? Maybe that was her bumbling attempt to connect to me. And I... certainly was not gentle.

I suddenly snapped out of my thoughts as I realized Ichika was still talking.

"Right, so that's Itsuki, Nino, and me. For Miku... well, it's not really relevant, come to think of it, but I guess I'll tell you: there just needs to be some connection there. As long as she finds you interesting, she'll talk to you. She's pretty hard to read though, that girl, so I'm not sure how you would do that. As for Yotsuba--"

"Shiiii! Shiii! Don't give my secrets away, Ichika!" interrupted a panicked Yotsuba. "Uesugi-san is doing just fine on his own!"

The older sister laughed. "Fine, fine. Suit yourself, keep your secrets. Anyways, back to Operation 'Make-Uesugi-San-Friends-Wi... look, Yotsuba, I'm sorry, the name is way too much of a mouthful."

Yotsuba pouted again. "I liked it... you guys are just Naming-Things philistines."

If that's something I can be a philistine at, then I'm happy to be a philistine.

"How about 'Operation Twintail'?" Ichika said. "I know they don't have twintails, but both of them have double hair accessories they wear -- plus it adds a little bit of misdirection to the name. Very cloak-and-dagger."

I nodded. "I like it."

"B-but... Operation 'Make-Uesugi-San-Friends-With-Itsuki-And-Nino'... ugh, fine. I guess I'll live with it," Yotsuba said.

Then, she pointed a finger at me mock-accusingly.

"You'd better live up to the name 'Operation Twintail' though, mister! I wanna see every effort from you!"

I sighed. "I'll do my best."

"Good!"

"Alright, so," Ichika said. "Now down to brass tacks."

She leaned over the table so she could see both of us easily.

"Here's how we're gonna do this thing."