Sam's POV

I got up from my seat to take a lone walk along the beach. Then I saw a little stall , with a man in it selling rolled up weed. It's been a minute, so I went over to him and bought one wrap and a lighter.

I sat on the sand and lit up the blunt and started smoking it.

This sadness is building up. I need some sort of release .

Was this how she felt when she saw me and Kendall together?

Or was this how she felt when she saw that receptionist in my office?

But I didn't fuck any of them.

'Blowjob is oral sex' my subconscious argued

Maybe it is but it's not like I loved them or anything. She probably loves him.

She slept with him.

Without protection.

Fuckkkkk.

I took another puff of the blunt.

My heart aches .

"Sam" she called, walking towards me.

"Is that weed?" She asked .

I didn't answer.

"I didn't know you smoked " she added . Kneeling in front of me .

She's doing it again.

"Are you crying?" She asked holding my face in her hands .

"No I'm not" I said . I wasn't crying. I used the back of my hand to feel my face and it was wet. Was I crying? What the actual fuck.

"What's wrong" she asked .
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Princess's POV

I never thought Sam smoked . Is there anything else I need to know about him cos this is quite shocking . Also why is he crying .

"You ask me what's wrong like I don't have the right to be mad at you" He said taking a puff from the blunt in his hand .

"You have the right to be mad but please don't shut me out, I love you so much" I said.

"You love me ? , yet you were in bed with someone else about 2 days ago and didn't even have the decency to tell me " he said calmly. That's cold . Too cold . And unfair.
"Tell me, do you love him ?" He asked.

"Sam , I don't love him. I love you. Hell, I was thinking about you the whole damn time. I thought you were sleeping with Kendall. I thought you were done with me . I didn't think you cared. I tried to reach you and you just weren't available. Kendall said you were sleeping and that all the fucking wore you out. It made sense that you were with her cos how come your phone rang and she was the one that picked it. I didn't even think you would be hanging out with her . I was an emotional mess and I was crying . And Jer was around . I kissed him for no reason and apologized and left ."

"You made the first move ?, unbelievable " he said eyes wide , then took about 3 puffs.

"I was vulnerable and I thought you didn't want me anymore . He came to my room and starting talking about how he loves me and shit, and I really didn't care. I told him I loved you and I couldn't promise to love him But I would be nice to him, then he kissed me ."

"And y'all fucked?" He said, meeting my gaze.

"No, it was the next day we had sex" I said . And he took about 4 puffs this time .

"I swear it , Sam , I was thinking about you throughout, and for a second I was even hallucinating that you were the one" I said .

"Without protection, Princess, that's reckless , even on your side" he said raising his voice a little more.

"He wore a condom and removed it midsex, I didn't know until I felt his ... ejaculation on my skin" I said ."he pulled out when he was about to do that "

"That bastard" he said and I saw him getting angry again.

"It wasn't consensual, you should get him arrested" he said

"He apologized, we were kinda drunk and it is not a big deal" I said.

"Not a big deal?, who knows if he has an infection ? Who knows if you are pregnant?" He said .

"I used an emergency pill and I didn't think I would have needed to check for infection before but I would when we get back to NYC because I didn't know he was into men too." I said. I read somewhere that gay men or bisexual men have a greater risk of getting and transmitting stds.

"You should " he said .

"When I walked in on you hitting Jeremy . It looked like you were willing to kill him" I said.

"I could have, I was too angry " he said exasperated. "He knew he was getting on my nerves and he kept on saying shit, I warned him not to say shit but he just kept on talking, I Lost control " he said.

" I know , I understand, but I have never seen you that angry before , it was scary" I said .

It's true , it was scary.

"Princess , I love you more than I love my own self and trust me that has never really happened before, the fact that someone else touched you like that kills me" he said .

"I love you too Sam, but I was really vulnerable, that's something I wouldn't do before I met you, but to be honest you made me this way." I said .

If he didn't make me so sad I wouldn't have been in this mess.

"Are you saying it's my fault that you fucked that guy, cos I know for sure it wasn't . You weren't trying to spite me because you didn't think I would come here , you just did it cos you wanted to. You fucked the first guy that came to you like a whore would" he spat

"Wow, Samuel. Wow. How exactly do you think I felt when I walked in on you and Kendall?

Samuel she was naked . No clothes , and you were kissing her . You still haven't been able to give me a reasonable explanation for that bullshit.

When I was willing to hear you out , you were receiving head from someone else. In front of me . How the fuck do you think I felt? I was confused . And terrified because I still loved you. I still missed you after all that bullshit.

I fucking texted you and you didn't reply. I called you and then the woman you were cheating on me with in Washington picked it up. Samuel what did you want me to think?" I said . Crying already.

"I didn't cheat on you in Washington. And I sent you multiple texts the night that Kendal picked your call, Princess , over 200 messages explaining what had happened" he said .

"I switched my damn phone off , and didn't use it throughout the next day. I switched it back on after I had sex with Jer, because I was trying to call Riley and Care to tell them about what he did. That was when I saw your messages " I said.

"I'm sorry Sam, for sleeping with someone else. I know I was wrong to do that , especially while I'm still in love with you, I just wanted to feel wanted, and Jer wanted me." I said crying more. The tears are uncontrollable. He dropped the blunt in the sand and used his thumb to clean my eyes .

"I'm sorry about the shit that happened with Kendall, I was packing and she called for me to tell her my room number , I told her and she came up. Then she was trying to seduce me and I told her to stop the shit and that I was in love with you. She was wearing a wrap dress , so she took the clothes off and that was when I realized she had nothing under . She was being all seductive and shit and I warned her to get out. Then she pretended to be hurt and told me if I kiss her right then she would leave me alone for good. I told her no and she literally begged me , saying it's closure . Said she understood that I loved you and she was gonna back off only if I kissed her . I agreed to a 3 second kiss. I realized that I should have asked her to put her clothes back on before doing that. I even recorded part of that conversation. The moment our lips touched you opened the door.

I know it was stupid to agree to that shit and I'm sorry . I should have thrown her out. I don't know what I was thinking , to have disrespected you like that. " he said pulling out his phone.

After a few seconds of searching he played a recording .

"Sam, I promise you that after this kiss I won't try to be sexual with you again, I won't strip in front of you ever again because I can see that you really don't see me"  Kendall said.

"Just a 3 second kiss and you would be out of my life?" He said.

"Just a 3 second kiss" she said .

There was a little dramatic pause and then the sound of a door . I think this was the time I walked in on them .

"Princess, it's not what you think" he said.

"This was a sham, this whole thing was a sham" I said .

"No it wasn't "  he said .

I could hear his breathing from the phone , it was hard and fast  and he was mumbling some stuff.

"No, no, no, no , no, it wasn't a sham" he said.

"BB? Are you okay? You are sweating .  Why are... why are you breathing like this ?, ..... you look like you are going to pass out......  omg he's having a panic attack" I heard her say.

What? He had a panic attack?

"You need to calm down Bb, breathe .Please breathe. I'm gonna go call for help" she said

"No, no , she hates me .    Don't call for help. Just leave , get your shit and get the fuck out of my life now"  he screamed.

There was a little rumbling, and after a while the door was slammed shut .

"Just breathe. She loves you, she won't leave you, she loves you, she said that herself " he said and kept repeating this to himself until his breathing was normal again. That was where the recording ended .

I didn't know he had a panic attack. I didn't know he was so scared to lose me.

"You had a panic attack?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I did" he said. "It wasn't anything serious , I didn't mean to hurt you Princess , I swear . I shouldn't have agreed to that shit" he added .

"It's fine" I said . And kissed his forehead.

"We should head back " Sam said picking up the blunt .