°°°

Percy: I'm going to Taco Bell, y'all want anything?

Thalia: I want my brother back.

You: I'd like a normal life.

Piper: I'd like Jason to be alive.

Leo: My mother plz.

Frank: My innocence.

Annabeth: A peaceful life with my boyfriend.

Percy: I got like, twelve dollars.

°°°

Annabeth: You got shot. Do you remember anything?

You: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Piper: That wasn't an ambulance. I drove you.

You: But I heard a siren.

Piper: That was Percy.

Percy: I won't apologize for my blood phobia.

°°°

Percy: My half brother, Tyson, is 6'4.

You: Holy Hades.

You: Imagine if he were a full brother.

°°°

Annabeth: Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit.

Percy: Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

You: Philosophy is wondering whether that makes ketchup a smoothie.

Jason: Common sense is knowing that ketchup isn't a flipping smoothie.

°°°

Leo: I did a bad thing...

You: Does it affect me?

Leo: No-

You: THEN SUFFER IN SILENCE

°°°

Frank: I am so dangerous!

Leo: Literally no one thinks you're dangerous.

Frank: *turns into a snake*

You: Hey guys. Have you seen my-

You:

Leo:

Frank:

You: *gasping* IT'S A DANGER NOODLE

Frank: *smug* You were saying?

°°°

Percy: Why wouldn't Annabeth and Jason want us at the meeting between the two camps?

Leo: Because they think we're going to embarrass them in front of everyone. Which frankly-

Leo: *slams hands on table* Is insulting!

Leo: Aw man, all the orange soda spilled out of my cereal.

You: What in the actual-

°°°

Leo: What's the most illegal thing you've done?

Piper: Stealing, you?

Percy: I once was a wanted man when I was like eleven for blowing up a few things here and there.

You: uH... oNcE i IlLeGaLlY dOwNlOaDeD tHe GlEe CoVeR oF sOmEbOdY tO lOvE

°°°

You: *holding an antique bottle* is this whiskey or perfume?

Piper: *grabs and chugs entire bottle*

Piper:

Piper: It's perfume.

°°°

Leo: *throwing stones at window*

You: You have a phone for a reason!

*Loud Thump*

You: *opening window* Did you just throw your phone?!

°°°

Annabeth: *is making coffee* Hey Piper, can you pass the sugar?

Piper: Sure. *pushes Hazel towards her*

*later at dinner*

Jason: Hey Pipes, pass the salt.

Piper: *picks up Percy*

Jason: *sighs* Never mind, just pass the pepper.

Piper: *picks You up*

Jason: Seriously? Just forget it.

*later while watching a movie*

You: *holding popcorn out to Piper* Hey Pipes, can you put some of the cheesy stuff on this?

Piper: I don't think Leo can fit in there.

Annabeth: Piper, you have a problem.

*At the same time*

Leo: I think I've been issued a challenge. *proceeds to climb all over You*

°°°

You: My mom is coming for dinner. Don't embarrass me.

Leo: If they had walking trails at a mental hospital, they could call it a "psycho path".

You: What did I just say.

°°°

Annabeth: Shake it.

You: *shimmies*

Annabeth: The container, Y/n.

°°°

Leo: Figured out why you're so depressed. You have updog.

Jason: What's updog?

Leo: Y/N GET IN HERE! I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT!

°°°

You: *at 3 am* Do you guys realize we never stop tasting our own tongues?

Leo: Then why don't I taste yours for a change?

You:

Annabeth:

Percy:

Hazel:

Piper:

Frank:

Jason's ghost:

You: That's so unsanitary.

°°°

Leo: oh a snake, how lovely, come here let me admire you

You: who will win, one fire boi or one slithery boi

Frank: *hiss*

Leo: wait, this seems familiar

Frank: eheheheh

Percy: Jeepers

Annabeth: jinkies

Piper: zoinks

Jason: ruh roh

Frank: *le stab*

Leo: fuq

°°°

Leo: *in the middle of battle* Y/n! Y/n!

You: What?!

Leo: *calmly pointing* This is where I saw that deer the other day

°°°

Hazel: Is Annabeth okay?

You: Yeah, why?

Hazel: I just watched her pour 10 packets of instant coffee into cold water and drink it in one go. Without breaking eye contact.

You: She's got a Head Counselor meeting with Percy and Piper.

°°°

*Sleepover*

Annabeth: shhhhh okay let's actually go to sleep

*Silence*

You: *starts laughing for no reason*

Piper/Leo/Percy: *starts laughing*

Jason: Guys seriously I have to fight Gaea tomorrow

°°°

Percy: This is our son, Leo.

Annabeth: I'm aware.

Percy: This is my other son you never met, Frank.

Annabeth:

Percy: And this is my lovely daughter I met in New Rome, Y/n.

Annabeth: You can't just adopt people when you feel sad.

°°°

You: Why does everyone hate Mr. Luke I think he's cool.

Percy: He tried to kill everyone.

You: *stabs Percy with plastic spoon* I just tried to kill you. Do you hate me now?

Annabeth: Y/n, I-

You: Discrimination.

Percy: Y/n, he tried to kill us multiple times.

You: *stabbing everyone repeatedly while crying* He deserves to be loved, Percy.

Annabeth: Y/n,

Luke: *while being stabbed* Let them finish.

°°°