"is that Lupin?!"

i whipped around to see Moony walking towards me. His sweater hanging loosely on him, cup of tea and book in hand, looking tired but not sleepy.

"Hello, Moony. Nice of you to join us" i teased.

"Shut up, i got here late, alright" but he smiled and sat next to me. "is that Harry?"

"oh yeah" i turned back to Harry in the mirror. "Yeah, he got in last night" i filled Harry in.

"Cool, hey Lupin" he waved.

Moony smiled and set down his book to wave back, his smile was titled in his this-is-goofy-but-I-like-it smile.

"How are you, Harry" he asked.

"good as i can be with this new teacher strutting around" he sighed. "But, i-uh, have this crazy Malfoy mystery to solve, so i have something to look forward to at least" he smiled sheepishly his cheeks turning pink.

My ears perked when he had first mentioned that and i smirked. Moony shoved me lightly with his shoulder, I couldn't wait to fill him in.

Harry flustered and seemed to wiggle in his seat. Moony chuckled from beside me and sipped his tea.

Harry looked up and then back at us. "I have to go, but I'll call again soon"

"Okay, bye Harry" Lupin smiled.

we waved and Harry's face disappeared, leaving our foggy reflections.

"He's so James..." i mumbled feeling that tug in my heart, thinking about my mate.

"He's so Lily" Moony mumbled and i could tell he felt the sad pull on his heart too.

"C'mon" i nudged him and he reluctantly stood. I lead us to the kitchen.

"i thought the mirror was going to be a Christmas present"

"Well..." i poured myself a cup of coffee "i gave it to him early in case he wanted to see us, like actually see us, no fireplace or letters or something" i sat down across from Moony.

He nodded and sipped his tea. "he liked that idea, apparently"

"yeah" i sipped the bitter coffee, cold from being left over from breakfast. "How long are you staying" my voice sounded more desperate than i wanted it to.

"well, i was hoping, well considering, i guess, being a more... permanent resident, here" he stared at his tea.

my heart skipped a beat. the memories of seven years of Hogwarts came flooding back to me. One from the end of third year stuck out to me.

"i wish i could just live here" i grumbled, starting to pack my bag.

"we do live here" Prongs said.

"Yeah but not forever and always, otherwise i wouldn't be packing" I responded.

"well... you could stay with me for a little" Moony said slowly. "If you wanted" he said quickly.

I looked up from my bag and stared at him. "Really?!"

Moony nodded and ducked his head, continuing to pack.

"Me too, Pads" James had said. "But you know that, you've already been so much" he smiled a cheeky grin.

"Thanks, lads" I said a little quieter than more normal yell. i wouldn't have to spend all summer with my dreaded family. that was everything to me.

and that summer had been the best I'd had. future years would top it, but in that moment, it was the best. and all because my best friends had let me stay with them. i refocused on the conversation at hand.

"Of course, Moony, that would be awesome" i reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

"thanks, Pads" he said softly.

"course, Moony"

we sat there in silence for a while, my hand still wrapped gently around Moony's cold thin fingers.

"What was harry calling about" he asked.

i shrugged. "Just missed us"

"missed you. he didn't know i was here, remember"

"right. yeah. yeah." i nodded and slowly smirked, waiting for him to ask.

"Would like me to ask about the Malfoy Mystery" He rolled his eyes and I jumped up excitedly.

"Um, YES. Malfoy apparently got super drunk and ended up telling Harry he was totally in love with him. How crazy is that? harry, doesn't believe him yet, he blames it on the alcohol, but Moons, isn't that crazy?! It's like a rom-com disaster happening right in front of me!"

"To your poor godson"

i waved him away. "Whatever. It's the first bit of exciting news! This war stuff is a drag"

He nodded thoughtfully, a small smile playing on his lips, even his twinkled in interest. "C'mon" Moony said and walked over to me with his hand out.

"where are we going?" I asked, standing up and leaving my cup on the table to take his hand again. He interlocked our fingers instinctively.

"don't get too excited, we're just going to the couch"

"oh, that's still fun. what could be more exciting?" I fake-swooned and leaned against Moony as I looked up at him with a grin.

he chuckled. "you'll always be a giddy sixteen year-old drama queen"

I smiled thinking about what it was like to be sixteen. We were dating when we were sixteen... did Moony remember that? i mean, how could he forgot, that would be crazy. But why would he bring up being sixteen? Why bring up all the brokenness? Why now?

"You know you loved giddy drama-queen Padfoot, even though I'm not that dramatic"

Moony chuckled and rolled his eyes. He sat down on the couch with his legs crossed and i sat next to him leaning my back against his shoulder with my knees tucked to my chest.

"this is nice" i whispered.

the boy next to me made an "mhm" sound and i leaned my head back to rest it on his shoulder.

"Padfoot?"

"hm?"

"do you think harry's gay?"

I shot up and turned to face Moony. my hair fell in my face and i flicked it back, "i mean...maybe. But why wouldn't he have told us?"

Moony thought about that. "Maybe he was going to. Maybe he was trying to. you said he called because he missed you, maybe that's not totally true"

I considered that, too. it was possible. very possible. "Maybe. But why do you bring it up? If he's gay, he'll tells us when he's ready"

"Well..." Moony got fidgety and even a little red creeped on his face. "Maybe we should tell him?"

"About being gay? Why?" I asked. We'd never told Harry we were gay and we definitely didn't tell him we dated. we didn't want to confuse him or have our relationship with him be awkward so we never brought it up.

"It would make him feel more comfortable with it. More safe to tell us"

"yeah... i guess. But Moons, we'd have to tell him everything. What would that do to us?"

"Sirius..." he used my name and my heart skipped. if i was nervous thinking about Harry, hearing my name whispered so softly by Moony made me anxious.

"we will be fine. Our mini damaged family with harry will be fine. Don't you think it's important he knows? We said we would wait until he was comfortable with us and it was a good time. If Harry's questioning himself, doesn't that look like a perfect time?" Moony was so soft with his words. Comforting and convincing. Nervous but sure of the right answer.

"yeah. yeah, you're right. You're always right" i grumble with a smile. he smiled back.

"Christmas?" he suggested.

"yeah. That'd be good, i suppose" i turned back around to my original position, leaning my back against the side of his shoulder, with my head tilted back to rest on his shoulder.

"Moony?"

"yeah?"

"Do you miss being sixteen?"

"yeah. Parts of it, why?" He turned his head to meet my eyes.

"you brought it up earlier. we dated when we were sixteen, remember?"

"of course i remember. how could i forget? Why?" his beautiful amber eyes looked distant, conflicted, like he was remembering it too. I couldn't say the words so i just stared into his eyes. His amber based eyes with dark green strips and dark brown, almost purple tinted specks. How could someone have such beautiful eyes, and never realize it?

"pads..." he said tenderly, like he had to break bad news.

"don't say it" i turned my head away, "I know, i know. i just, i like to think it's possible" I sighed and blinked away tears.

"maybe one day" Moony whispered in a mumble, too soft to really be heard.

I brushed my tears and stared off into the distance. We'd broke up when James and Lily died. When my name got cleared, it was like nothing had changed between us. it was like, he never believed i gave them away or murdered anyone, all this time. it was blissful. i thought we could be together again. but Moony wanted to give ourselves time, and not cause strain or stress on each other. Prevent us from the pain of long-distance relationships. Not be targets or be used as bait for our enemies to use against us. Safety. And Harry. Harry's safety. But it was painful, no matter what we did. being together would be painful but being apart was tearing me apart.