(Major trigger warning. This will cover SA/abuse and other like topics. Not only that but I can't promise this will be done in a healthy manner. I ask that comments be limited on this work. It's a hard one to do)

No one ever warns you about your first relationship. When you're young it seems like everyone is rooting for you to get in one. Go out and date. Ask for her number, what's the worst that can happen?

Wetness gathered on my lashes as I wake up gasping for breath. What's worse is its not like the dream was particularly scary...she was just there saying we were together again.

My brain was still reeling. The thought of being that...trapped again.

I can only take a minute longer to recover my mind before I get ready for work.

Life as a pro hero. I stare into the mirror as I put on my jacket.

'My sweet cardinal' is all I can think when I see my reflection. I swallow back my unease before heading out.

I throw myself into work. If I work I can't think.

"Hey man, you need to take a break" Koji pushed his way in again

"I'm good, this is the most productive I've been"

"Productive yes, healthy no"

"If I work ill be fine"

Koji stole the pen out of my hand, "Dude... you look like shit"

"Rude" I glare

"You look like you haven't slept in days"

"Oh I've slept all right"

"I keep telling you the stress is only going to make it worse"

"Worse? How could it possibly get worse Koji. 2. I've dated 2 people. Both fucked me over! Do I just have shit taste in partners? On top of that I...i-" I choke up

"Hey hey hey" Koji came to my side comfortingly, "I know"

"You're the only one who believes me who knows" I choke out.

"Look, man. It's been a year...The PR team is really pushing for you to get back out there"

"I can't. I just can't" I sigh

"Not everyone is like that-"

"I don't care if it's not everyone, I've had a 100% failure rate" I snap but quickly reel it back when I see kojis look.

I know he's right. Not everyone is like that. Not everyone is abusive... but how can I know the next person won't be...

"Look...I may know someone. I'm not saying you need to sign a contract or get in a relationship or anything like that. Just...go out on a date with 'em. I have known them for a while. They are an acquaintance and had their own shitty breakup. They're a good person though"

"What if it's me" I lay my head in my crossed arms on my desk

"What?"

"My ex-girlfriend? She was real sweet at first... the first year of our relationship was great-"

"Keigo...she was an asshole-"

"She bought me nice gifts-"

"As shitty apologies for going off on you and eventually beating the shit out of you" Koji sighed, "That's beside the point Keigo. It's not you. Don't blame yourself for them being shitty people"

"But my ex-boyfriend was the same way, he was so sweet-"

"No, he wasn't. You just put on those rose-tinted glasses and didn't take them off until he crossed that line..."

My chest got tight. I shudder in a breath but it hurts. I know I have rose-tinted glasses... but I can't help it. When you're with someone you think you love you try everything to defend them.

I suppress a whimper and slowly pull myself back together. Happy thoughts. I'll just get back to work. Can't think when I work.

I grabbed my pen but Koji smacked it out of my hand, "Tell me you're over him"

"Of course, I'm over him!" I stand slamming my hands on the table, "after what he did- I would never-!"

"I know but..." Koji read me like a fucking book

"I loved him...deeply" I deflate sitting back in my chair, "But I'd never get back with him... what he did...was unacceptable"

"Good. So what do you say to that date? Just 1 date" Koji adjusted his glasses

"Who are they-?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll handle it. Just 1 blind date" Koji pat my shoulder

I hold my breath for a long moment before letting it out in a puff, "Fine. Ok, you win. 1 date"

"Then I'll get that set up" Koji headed towards the door but stopped right before it, "You a worthy of love Keigo. You have a lot of it to give to. Don't let the past stop you" with that he left my office.

It was only a week later I sat in a coffee shop. The person Koji recommended seemed nice...he was just...how to put this lightly?

This man is bland as white bread. Sure he's nice but who doesn't listen to music? I was having trouble concentrating on the conversation it was so fucking boring. No movies or TV. What the hell does this guy do with his life?

I didn't realize there was going to be such a relief when he got a sudden work call and had to leave early. Of course, leaving me the bill for our coffees.

I found myself more frustrated than anything sipping my hot cocoa. That was until I heard a crash.

I about jumped out of my skin hearing glass shatter and turn to see the waitress on the ground. Some punks snickered, I can only guess what part they played in this.

She glared at them but started picking up pieces of the plate that had met its end on the Cafe floor. Though it seems I can't keep myself out of trouble when I get up and decide to help.

"Oh no no sir, I got this" she tried to assure me

"It's fine, I'm happy to help"

I pick up some of the smaller shards. I peered up to curiously look at the woman when I instead catch one of the assholes in the booth with his phone trying to snap a picture with a very compromising angle.

Despite me saying today was a no-wing day; I snuck a feather to grab the phone and knock it straight back into his head. The satisfaction was momentary though as shit got out of hand.

"Sir, your hand" she pointed out that my distraction and concentration seemed to get the best of me, and I sliced my finger on some glass.

"Oh I'll be fine" I shrug, it really is just a scratch, it just looks scary cause it's bleeding a lot" I watch her pull a few napkins to help me stop the blood.

Though it seems the goons wanna start something, "You bitch! You did that huh? I wanna see your manager" the man held his forehead as if it was something more than a tap.

She looked panicked quickly standing, "Sir I-"

"Actually, it was me" I step in and get physically between her and the goons.

"Do you know who I am? I will sue your punk ass!" One of the goons buddies butt in

"Hey miss. I got this handled. Can you please get the glass before someone gets hurt?" I offer

She nodded heading away with the large shards. Once she was a fair distance away I pull out my wallet.

"You're gonna have to write a pretty big check if you-"

I pull out my hero license showing it. The goons fell silent so I decided to fill in, "I saw what you tried to pull with your phone camera. I'll give you 2 options. I take you in for attempted upskirting OR I can simply delete any photos already on your phone and you leave this establishment peacefully"

They looked pissed but fortunately complied. They were leaving just as she returned with the broom and dustpan.

"What happened?"

"They realized they were at fault and left" I shrug taking the broom for her and cleaning the mess.

"I can't thank you enough. If you don't mind we have a first aid kit in the back, I can bandage your hand?"

I look at the bloody tissue with a shrug, "It's not that bad. It's just a cut"

"Its the least I can do"

I sigh but nod, "If you insist"

We headed in back where she asked one of the other girls to man her tables. We sat in a little break room where she pulled the first aid kit and started to treat my hand.

As always I can't just leave silence, "You work here long?"

"Since it opened" she shrugged

"Oh, lucky or family?"

"Im the owner" She smirked

"Seriously" I double take

"Yup, and I was really excited to see those guys expressions when I would say that before you kicked them out"

"I uh-"

"Its fine" She chuckled, "I'm just surprised someone helped"

"Of course I would" I roll my eyes, "Wouldn't leave a pretty gal to deal with assholes like that alone"

She finished with a bandage but seemed interested in something, "Weird question but...are you-"

Well here it comes. The realization in Hawks, wanting my autograph and so forth-

"A model?"

I blink. Did I hear her right? "Uh...well kinda?" I adjust my beanie

"Sorry it's just, you're really handsome and I feel like I've seen you somewhere before" she nervously giggled

"Do you...wanna go out sometime?" I smile feeling a bit nervous

"I...well...sure" she mumbled shyly, "I mean. I don't work next saturday?"

I'm actually kinda excited. I look around until I see a pad of paper and a pen scribbling down my number and handing it to her, "shoot me a text and we'll arrange something fun"

"I look forward to it" she smiled brightly

"See you then" I awkwardly head out barely holding back my excitement.

(Part 2 eventually)