there are just some days where you want to disappear forever,

erase yourself from existence and never ever come back.

that's what taehyung briefly thought of as he stood on the rooftop of kim corporation's main building, looming over the edge and peering down at the cars that glided across the bustling evening streets like soft streams of bright cybernetic lights.

no, he would never consider jumping off or anything absurd like that.

in fact, he was actually pondering deeply about something else — or rather, someone else.

raising the cigarette up to his lips once more, he inhaled and exhaled, shivering at the calming tremors that raked over his body as the smoke trailed down his windpipe, successfully clearing his mind's ridiculous thoughts for a short-lived moment.

"what are you thinking about?" yugyeom's voice piped up as he swiftly appeared beside taehyung, leaning his arms atop the rooftop's ledge and throwing a subtle grimace at the cancer stick in his friend's hold.

"nothing important," taehyung replied, finally letting the cigarette slip from between his fingertips and crushing it with the sole of his shoe.

yugyeom huffed. "if you say so," he muttered with a roll of his eyes. "let's get back in. it looks like it's about to storm," he added, gesturing to the vast sky that was once painted a gorgeous shade of orange but was now completely shrouded over with clumps of deadly gray clouds instead.

taehyung's brows shot up in alarm. he never even noticed how dark the sky had become as he was previously too invested in his thoughts.

"yeah, that's a good idea," the blond agreed, already feeling tiny droplets of rain land on his skin while he silently followed yugyeom back inside the building.

and as yugyeom predicted, not even a second after they re-entered the building, the rain abruptly began pouring down like crazy, closely followed by angry bolts of lightning and loud rumbles of thunder.

however, right as he was about to step foot inside the elevator, his phone started buzzing in his suit pocket, causing him to halt in his tracks and tell yugyeom to head back down without him first.

reaching for his phone, he scrunched his nose in confusion when he realized that namjoon was calling him, which was odd because namjoon rarely called him unless if it had something to do with his cousin, kim seokjin.

he picked up, pressing the device against his ear and placing his free hand over the other ear in order to block out the thunder. "hello?"

"taehyung, i need your help. it's about jungkook," namjoon spoke, panic evident in his words.

taehyung instantly stiffened in his spot. "hyung, me and jungkook aren't exactly on the best of terms anymore," he settled on saying.

"like fuck if i care about that!" namjoon suddenly snapped, catching taehyung by surprise. "jungkook's literally breaking down right now and i don't know what to do."

"what? why is—" taehyung's eyes slowly widened as another lightning bolt came crashing down, right as the memory of jungkook in his office that one night came flooding back into his head at the same time. "ah shit, not again. i-is he alright?"

"no, he's not. he's not okay at all and i have no idea what i'm supposed to do!" namjoon answered. "i'm calling you 'cause he's been murmuring your name for the past five minutes, taehyung, for fuck's sake!"

"he... has?"

"yes! do you know what i should do to help him? i-i've never seen him like this before. at this rate, he looks like he's about to pass out! i-i don't know— i'm seriously freaking out, tae—"

"okay, okay, calm down for me, hyung. i'm on my way to the parlor," taehyung declared, hurriedly rushing back downstairs to his office to grab his car keys from his desk, brushing past a puzzled yugyeom. "i'll be there in a few."

the line went silent for a bit and taehyung began to get really worried until namjoon then let out a ghastly shout. "no! what the actual fuck, taehyung? you shouldn't even be driving in this storm! do you have a death wish?!"

taehyung sighed as he slipped into his porsche and started pulling out of the parking lot. "i'll be fine, hyung. how's jungkook doing?"

"no, taehyung! it's dangerous!" namjoon retorted, ignoring the other male's question.

"hyung, i promise i'll be fine," taehyung stubbornly claimed. "tell jungkook to hang on, i'll be there soon," he mumbled before he ultimately hung up.

━━━━━━━━━━

"fuck," namjoon groaned out in a mixture of frustration and concern, roughly tugging at his hair as another strike of thunder came down, dragging out a yelp of fear from jungkook who was sobbing hysterically, curled up in a ball in the corner of the tattoo parlor whilst shielding himself from any of namjoon's attempted advances of help.

namjoon didn't know how he could even help the younger man, and that pained him to an excessive amount. as of now, he could only—

the door to the parlor was practically thrown open as a drenched and wrecked taehyung hastily rushed inside the store. his gaze quickly landed on the terror-stricken jungkook and he couldn't deny that he felt his heart breaking into a thousand pieces.

"oh, jungkook," taehyung breathed out, immediately running over to the ravenet and falling down onto his knees. he gently held jungkook in his arms, letting him bury his face into the elder's shoulder and cry all his agony out.

namjoon was beyond shocked when he saw how jungkook hugged taehyung back with the same desperation, not pushing him away unlike how he did to namjoon. it wasn't like the purple-haired tattooist minded; it was simply a rather bizarre sight, especially if you consider how the two men's relationship is technically not in the best spot right now.

jungkook grabbed taehyung's suit, hazily taking in the familiar scent of lavender detergent and masculine cologne. those two scents combined succeeded in calming his erratically beating heart down, succeeded in putting a halt to the viciously dark thoughts plaguing his mind at times like these.

"i-i'm sorry, i didn't want to h-hurt you, i-i swear," he managed to choke out between sobs as he clung tightly onto taehyung's lean frame like his life depended on it, uncontrollably shaking like mad. "p-please, don't hate me, t-taehyung."

taehyung's breath hitched at that, yet he chose to remain silent.

he could tell that jungkook didn't know what he was saying, because after all, he was currently a huge mess.

"i'm so t-tired, i just want this to end. i'm scared — p-please make this go a-away, please," jungkook brokenly begged, blinking up at taehyung through thick tears.

"shh, it's okay," taehyung found himself whispering to the younger. "go to sleep, jungkook, i'm here. i'll stay with you, yeah?"

"p-promise?" jungkook sniffed, gazing at taehyung with glassy orbs and tear-stained cheeks.

"promise," taehyung uttered out, combing his fingers through jungkook's dark locks in a soothing manner and watched as the raven's eyelids gradually drooped down, eventually falling limp in taehyung's arms with his head leaning against the wall.

don't make promises you can't keep, you liar, his conscious scolded.

as he stood up and dusted off his pants, he was met with namjoon's hard stare. "what?" he deadpanned with a frown.

"do you like him?" namjoon soon queried with his arms folded in front of his chest, one leg draped over the other.

taehyung choked. "excuse me?"

"no, nevermind, forget that i asked that," namjoon dismissed casually. "you should stay until he wakes up, taehyung. i really don't know how to deal with situations like these, but either way, it seems like jungkook wants you to be the one to take care of him in these scenarios, as strange as that may sound."

the blond snorted and shook his head. "no, he doesn't want me anywhere in his life. we made that very clear to each other that day. so, obviously, i'll be staying out of his life from now on as well," he announced, running a hand through his still-partially-damp hair.

"i swear to god, you're both being so damn immature," the purple-haired male grumbled under his breath.

"call me an idiot but it's for the better that things turned out the way they did," taehyung said, peering over at a lightly snoring jungkook before it flicked back to his cousin's boyfriend. "watch over him well, joon-hyung. see you."

"wait, what? but it's still storming!" namjoon exclaimed as taehyung headed for the door.

"i know." taehyung pulled up an unbothered grin onto his lips as he stepped back outside, disappearing into the stormy downpour.

i just don't want jungkook to see me when he wakes up later. there's no way i can possibly bring myself to look at him in the eyes anymore.