I miss my friends but the fragrance and scenery of the cherry blossoms dancing in the breeze of the spring comforts me and gives me hope that I could find new friends in this new school, Sakura High – one of the prestigious academes here in my hometown. I can feel the welcoming atmosphere of the campus yet the pressure of my situation gives me butterflies in my stomach. My mom is part of the board of directors of the school, I am the presumptive school year level representative and student council president, and the school's authority has high expectations towards me. My mom used to tell me I am talented, intelligent, and stuffs like that just to encourage me to become the best student council president of Sakura High. It's not that I don't like it, to be honest, I really like the idea of me being influential and a good leader towards the youth, a role which I long desired ever since I was a child. But I am an introvert; it's hard for me to approach people unless the situation requires me. This could be my disadvantage but I've read in a book before that introversion could also be an advantage in leadership. It says that introspecting first before talking is good. Though I am that kind of person but when in stress, I tend to lose my cool and burst out my emotions instead. I don't want that to happen, not especially if it shames the name of my mom even if it means not being true to myself.

"Nice meeting you Suzuka! I'm Yukiyama Hikari. But you could just call me Kari-san" says a seatmate I have at class. She does have a bubbly personality which reminds me of Chloe so I guess she can be a good friend. She invites me for a lunch with her friend Akibara Mai but it didn't work well. I realize she, together with her friend, is similar with those people who hate my passion, those people who think metal music is just some kind of noise. I am depressed that I want to go back to America. At least there, even though a lot of people marginalize me, I still have true friends who would support me if I feel low.

I never thought this day would be so exhausting at the same time frustrating. I could have done better than this but it turns out that the environment is quite pretty similar to America minus the outcast kids which I could hang out with. This would be a hard time for me I guess.

"Nakamoto, you are summoned at the principal's office. You should go there now. She has some important things to discuss to you." The teacher says after she dismissed our class.

Well I already know what she's going to say to me, an orientation about being a school year level representative. And I am right, she just talk about the dos and don'ts of being in position. Most of them are already known to me but some are not. But I guess this could be a good reminder to sober me up that everything is real now. I have a new role to take in this school and I should be hella good about it.

"Another thing Suzuka, are you aware about the label of being a school representative?" The principal say.

"They are snobbish and elitists?"

"That's right but the student's also see them as the robots of the school's authority. Being chosen by the board of directors, they are obliged, if not, forced to put their favor to the authorities over the students. Students call them kill joy if you know what I mean."

"I understand... but why are you telling me this?"

"Actually I am also Sakura High's school representative before. I am also guilty about being a kill joy to the students before." She pauses and takes a deep sigh. "As a principal of this school, I am still powerless regarding the school's management just like before, a robot of the board of directors. I'm not telling you that you should not follow my example and rebel to the authority. What I'm trying to tell you is that for you to make a difference, Suzuka."

Make a difference huh? This sounds interesting; it's a challenge for me to make a difference, it's akin to a political slogan I use to hear from American politicians but it is inspiring. I nod at the principal in agreement to what she said.

Well, I call this a day. Though I can't completely say that this is an awesome day, at least I accomplished and survived the day successfully. Maybe I could just work out for the next school days. I hope it would be better and that nothing tragic would happen to me that might jeopardize my image as a new school representative.

Back at home I fixed the books dad sent me yesterday. It was my collection I left at his house. I love collecting books and reading them. I am proud to admit I am a book worm and aside from head banging while listening to metal music, reading is my pastime and stress reliever. It brings me to another dimension, a realm which is far from reality. It happens that I pick this book titled Coming of Age. It is a documentary book about how people around the globe deal with adolescence socially and politically. It is more of an anthropological book than a psychological one. Maybe having a good read about this could relieve some stress.

Japan, the legal age in this country is 20 and people really value the youths' coming into majority. Each local city offices in the country hold an annual celebration for youngsters who just recently reach this age – it's called Seijin Shiki. It's a boring celebration in my opinion but its symbolic significance being the ritual of welcoming young people to adulthood is what gives big impact to me. I could imagine myself wearing that furisude kimono and walk in the snowy pathways towards the venue of the event. I might look like a Yuki Onna but I don't care. I just simply love white.

Entering adulthood has always been a dream for me. I already want to be mature but I don't want to leave my childhood unmemorable. I want to cherish it and live it to the fullest. It's an internal struggle within me, whether or not I should enter the threshold of maturity or not. For me, I've done a personal oath that when I reach fifteen, I should be mature enough to handle myself. I wanted to become more ladylike and forget the childish things I still possess. However, I would keep my chastity until I reach my legal age. I don't want to engage into any romantic relationship until I reach twenty. I want to keep my chastity and purity until I am indeed prepared in mind, body, and spirit. That would be a personal standard I put to myself because I value my being, I value myself.