Chronicles of a Fat Teenager - Chapter Ten

"Leave her alone, I'm warning you!" Beth whispered, barely being able to keep control of her voice. She deliberately kept her voice low so Ms. Plumb, who was gathering up her papers at the front of the classroom could not hear. Beth didn't want anything to prevent her from speaking her mind, especially a teacher. She could see over Claire's shoulder that Ms. Plumb would be out of the picture very soon.


"YOU'RE warning us?" Claire said, with disgust, "Who the hell do you think you are talking to us like that? How DARE you?" 


Beth, quite accustomed to having the Clones, or anyone else for that matter look down their noses at her took no notice of their shock at the likes of Beth challenging them. Beth could see how clearly they saw the world, how terribly uncomplicated they were, never doubting their own importance, never questioning the order of things because as far as they were concerned, they were top of the school food chain and all other species of student were there to either serve them or be ridiculed for their own amusement. 


Ms. Plumb was gone, the coast was clear. One stifled sob from Jessica behind her was all the fuel Beth needed. For her entire life she had been made to feel less than worthless, to be made to feel like she was nothing and that she should be ashamed of her size. Beth had tried every fad diet since she was 12, stuck to the diet clubs for months with little success and every time she failed, food was her solace. It nourished her feelings of guilt and self-loathing and every comment, every bullies taunt and every cruel gesture was digested, processed, gnawed away at her soul and numbed her a little more to humanity. Something HAD awakened in her. Jessica had suddenly entered her life and Miles, despite the shell she had so expertly constructed for herself, somehow he'd got through and to Beth, this was a sign that allowing them that access, when in the past she would have avoided them at all costs, meant that she had reached a point in her life when she was ready to move on. Onto what, Beth really didn't know but the alternative, of doing nothing and continuing with her spiral of shame, self-loathing and isolation, this petrified her. Somehow she knew this moment was her first step into the new era and she was not going to let this opportunity pass. 


"How DARE I, eh?" Beth began, her voice returned to a normal talking volume and her tone remained calm, not betraying the under-currant of exhilaration she was experiencing at that moment. 


"Oh, I think you find I have every right to speak to you like that!" she continued. 


Lucy chose this moment to stand alongside Claire and the two of them, impossibly pretty and horribly vacant, shoulder to shoulder stood facing Beth defiantly. 


"Aaah, this is going to be like shooting ducks at the fair!" Beth exclaimed, rubbing her hands together in glee, "thanks for lining up for me, makes you an easier target, well on your own, you're practically see-through you're both so skinny, with two of you stood together like that ... well, you practically make up one person!" 


It was obvious from Claire's face that she didn't know how to react and she instinctively took a step away from Lucy to defy Beth's gratitude more than anything else. Lucy began to talk but Beth put her hand up to quieten her. 


"Please, not now Lucy. The grown up is talking." She scolded mockingly, "You have had your say plenty of times and it's time for the fat girl to tell you exactly how she's feeling and more to the point, what the entire school think of the pair of you. I think a little feedback is overdue, don't you?"


Lucy stood aghast at Beth's carefree attitude and Claire had been rendered temporarily speechless. 


Beth continued and allowed just a little of the poison that had blighted her life reach the tone of her voice. 


"You see, I think the pair of you are under the delusion that you're popular. Because ... well you're not. You speak of stocks and shares with no real understanding of their value, because you might as well be dealing in monopoly money, because neither of you, or your hangers on have any validity in the lives of anyone at this school. Oh ... Lucy, you look confused. You want me to get a crayon for you so you can write the big words down and look them up later in your Junior Dictionary? Validity .. Val - id - ity. It means relevance in your case, you are not relevant or meaningful to anyone but yourselves."


Beth briefly studied their reactions before launching into the next part of her tirade. Nothing, their lifeless shark eyes stared impassively at her. Beth clearly needed to bring it down to their level to have any kind of impact. 


"OK, I can see you're both struggling to keep up with someone whose IQ is more than a glass of tap water so I shall keep this simple. Lucy - Claire here thinks that your arse is mottled, rather like a condom stuffed with rice pudding, I think is how she described it. I believed she said this in the presence of Michelle and Charmer, or whatever the fuck her name is. Whereas Claire - Lucy has been known to outrageously flirt with every single one of your boyfriends, including your current meathead and she confessed to Charmer a few weeks ago that she let him have a quick fiddle under her bra because he was apparently "starving in that department" I believe she was mocking the size of your breasts, my lovely. Oh and on the point of your breasts, I appreciate that training bras aren't as sexy as, you know, grown ups bras, so stuffing ladies bras with tissue paper to fill them out is really sad, not only that but it's bad for the environment with half a roll of Andrex down each cup every day, you're going to be responsible for some serious deforestation. And yes, I know it's hurtful when the boys don't find anything there and go to your ample breasted friends for some puppy action, but you're still sixteen, there's still time for them to come into their own?"


Claire put her hands to her breasts without thinking, trying to establish how on earth Beth could know about the toilet paper trick. 


Beth suddenly realized that years of eating her sandwiches in toilet cubicles had given her a distinct advantage; she had been party to many discriminating and implicating conversations and at this point Beth's advantage was going to be played to the full.


Before they could react, Beth capitalized on their shock and was egged on by the panic and anger flashing in their eyes. She had them where she wanted them. Now for the uppercut.


"Now Lucy, I heard the rumour that you're going to be having a nose job in a few months during the summer break but you're going to tell everyone you fell off your horse and the reason why your nose is no longer a danger to shipping is because of the accident and surgery afterwards? Yes? Well, I say to hell with the rotten excuse that no one will believe anyway. Be proud of your unbelievably large shonk! Just think of the good you can do with it! The shadow of that thing could block out the sun, preventing an entire beach full of people from getting sunburn, you know, if you positioned it right. Besides, Lucy - think of the poor plastic surgeon and the amount of physical effort he'll have to put in just to get that thing to normal size. He'll need a chainsaw and climbing equipment just to take the end off it. Be proud of it, Lucy. No one can be born with such a magnificent nose for no reason!"


Lucy held the end of her nose, colour rushing to her cheeks, betraying her apparent cool exterior. Beth, smelling blood turned to the other viper in front of her. 


"And Claire, how could I forget you? Aside from the whole alleged STD thing, if the graffiti on the toilet door is to be believed, I really think people misunderstand you. I think you just pretend to be a heartless bitch because you don't want people to know what a lovely, warm, generous human being you are! I mean, look at your family, they're all such wonderful people! Your older brother, isn't he in rehab for something? I don't think it was alcohol and it certainly wasn't anything as cool as drugs ... oh yes, sniffing glue! How common, I mean with your money the least he could do was get himself a drug habit that would demonstrate your wealth, something respectable like a cocaine habit, or something. Something you'd have to have money to maintain. I feel your frustration at his poor choice of addiction, Claire. He let the family down. Then there's your mother. Now, contrary to popular belief, if you work in the local supermarket on the tills, your memory doesn't erase itself every time you clock off for the evening. I'm sure this would be a positive advantage for some people who despise the monotony of their lives as checkout operators and would willingly have their memories erased, but sadly until that contraption is made available to minimum wage till jockeys, they will still have to fain surprise every time your piss-head mother slurs her excuses for her shopping which apart from the olives and cherries, is entirely liquid based and not laugh every time she tells them she's having to restock the drinks cabinet because she's had a few people around for a party. Unless she's had Oliver Reed, Mel Gibson, Courtney Love and Lindsay Lohan over, she's a classic pisshead with their dumb-ass excuses.  And then there's your father ... well, not much can be said about him. He has so many people in his pocket in this town, it's difficult to know what's rumour and what's fact.  The sheer number of illegitimate children he's fathered over the years ranges from 12 to about 48 at the last count. His penchant for young women doesn't seem to abate, does it? Making a pass at Lucy here last year rattled her a bit, as she was overheard telling Michelle the following day at school. Quite the wandering hands, apparently, Claire you must be so stoked to know that across the county there are any number of half siblings that could be a donor for you, should you need one in the future. Handy of your father, don't you think?"


Beth allowed herself a little moment to assess the damage. Tears played about in their eyes, threatening to fall onto their perfect cheeks, betraying the damage that Beth had inflicted on them. Beth looked back at Jessica to see if she was still crying, but was amused by what she saw. Jess had apparently, during this performance sat back down and got an apple from her bag and was carefully watching events unfold like she was avidly absorbing her favourite soap. 


"Don't stop on my behalf," Jess offered, smiling broadly, "Please, continue, I'm sure the material will keep coming to you!" 


Beth looked back at these fallen goddesses, their faces creased into frowns, their usual stoic expressions now marred by the hurtful comments of Beth's. This didn't dissuade Beth from continuing with her verbal onslaught, she felt now ounce of compassion for them. Years of torment and cruel victimization had rendered Beth completely incapable of having any sympathy for them. 


"On the matter of your father, Claire. He owns quite a few of the businesses in town, doesn't he? You see, my cousin's step-father, well he was an accountant in a firm that worked for your father's and he inferred that your dad was involved with some unusual deals and it looked like the Inland Revenue had been cheated out of a couple of million, by his reckoning. I only say this because I find it strange that when her step-dad raised this with his bosses, he suddenly found himself without a job, without reference and having to travel 60 miles before being able to secure work. I can't imagine to tell you what I THINK happened to him, but the trouble is, Michael's father ... you know, the one Lucy is now locking body parts with ... well he's also a rather interesting business man and between them, a good proportion of the businesses in town belong to them. Michael's dad has been in prison for assault, hasn't he? Got a temper and a reputation for dealing with people with extreme prejudice if they refuse his financial offers or deals. From my understanding of overhearing conversations between Michael and his friends and then from what I hear my parent's friends say ... well, Michael stands to take over the company in a few years and ruthlessness always leaves people on the edges, bruised and battered after they've been walked all over. Your father is apparently in the firing line and I would not want to be around when Michael's dad starts trying to acquire your dad's interests. What a pleasant bunch you are. So, with all of this being common knowledge, what do you think people here in school ... and the teachers think of you? That you're powerful, amazing young girls that people aspire to be like. As-pi-yerrr Lucy, it means 'want to be like' ... do you think this means that your stocks are high? Quite the opposite, girls. You're both tainted by association, I'm afraid, related to criminals, where cruelty and addiction is second nature and beauty can be bought from the touch of a surgeon's knife. Or, in your case Lucy, a hammer and chisel for that monstrosity. So, in a nutshell, for all your Shellac nail varnish, Prada shoes and Estee Lauder makeup, you're still cheap white trash, just a few zeroes on your bank accounts away from the local trailer park. Agatha in our form, now she's respected and liked by everyone, wanna know why? She's pretty, in a natural way without an inch of foundation and fake tan on and she's generous. She regularly organizes charity events, volunteers at the local homeless shelter and reads with primary children after school. She attracts people wherever she goes, people want to know her and girls want to be like her. You're like opposite ends of a magnet, she attracts whereas you repel. If I didn't despise you two worthless pieces of shit so much, I'd feel sorry for you. My only regret is the rest of your sordid bunch aren't here for me to provide them with some feedback too."


Beth rested, words were starting to dry up and her throat sore from stressing each syllable, to ensure the inflection of her voice carried her message to them clearly. She hoped her message was received, that she called them, she knew their weaknesses, there was nothing they could do or say anymore that could make her give a flying fuck anymore. 


She looked back at Jess who generously gave her a silent applause. To clap loudly would have broken the spell and the silence in the classroom at that point was deafening. 


Jess looked past Beth who was still standing defiantly in front of the Clones, who were now red-eyed and looked a little frayed at the edges. She spotted someone standing in the doorway and kicked Beth's leg softly to get her attention. When Beth looked down at her, she nodded her head towards the door, indicating where Beth should look. 


Beth followed Jessica's directions and saw standing in the doorway, leaning nonchalantly against the frame, beaming a sapphire smile at her proudly. Beth took her cue and gathered her bag off the floor, leaving Jess follow behind they both pushed past the Clones statues towards the classroom door. 


"How long have you been standing there?" Beth asked as she reached Miles. 


He held out his hand and when she reached hers out, he entwined his fingers around hers and guided her out of the classroom. She examined how her hand looked in his, expecting it to look cumbersome and bloated, but Miles' hands were large and developed from the rugby and Beth was a little delighted at how feminine her hand looked linked with his. 


"How long were you there?" Beth asked again. 


"Long enough to hear the last couple of minutes of your musings, Miss Evans!" Miles laughed, playfully. 


"Oh!" Beth managed, suddenly feeling a little self conscious that he'd witnessed her being cruel and spiteful. She lowered her head a little, feeling a little ashamed. 


"And long enough," he continued unexpectedly, "To realize that I've fallen just a little bit more in love with you." 

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