"Being overweight is not a disability!" the militant gym instructor cried, "Come on fatty, get those knees up and you'll finish the course by dinner time! Maybe the promise of dinner will encourage you!" 

Beth looked down at her sweaty t-shirt and her eyes settled on how the cloth contoured around the rolls of fat on her waist. Her mum called them her love tires, but to Beth they were a bitter reminder of how unhappy she was and how her body took the punishment for that unhappiness. 

With the gym instructor's voice still booming in her ears and the hurtful remarks leaving more scars for her to mentally pick over later, Beth heaved her frame over the bench and began the final circuit. 

As she plodded around the course she saw her classmates stride over the finish line. Her eyes fell on Jessica and her perfect hair, streaked back into a perfect ponytail. Her skin looked a little flush but there were no sweat patches on her tiny top and her socks didn't dig into her legs as they did Beth's. Jessica flashed a brilliant white smile at the instructor who waved her off politely, ushering her out of the hall. "Off you go Jessica. You'll have time to shower before lunch and classes start if you hurry. Good job!" Then she turned her attention back to Beth and began yelling more insults. 

"I'm sure they're meant to be motivational" she heard Miles huff and puff in front of her. He laughed his usual sarcastic laugh and she could see he too was covered in sweat and struggling over the benches on the circuit as she was. Beth laughed, acknowledging his humour and breathlessly replied, "Trouble is ... she thinks ... we've not ... heard it all before .... I mean ... we have mirrors ... we know we're big .... we see the look on the doctors face when we get on the scales .... we have the asthma!" Miles chortled, "Yeah, it's ... not like we suddenly look down and say ... oh, my .... God! What's all that flesh doing there? Thanks Miss Williams ... without you we might ... have been blind to our morbid obesity ... clearly the fat on our eye-lids blinkered our view ... we shall diet straight away!" Beth managed to laugh again but the burning in her throat and the pounding of her heart prevented her from contributing any more to their weight related banter. Miles picked up the pace and Beth watched him crash over the finish line a few minutes before she hauled her tired, heavy legs over it too. 

Miss Williams looked down at her as she gasped for air, "Good effort, Evans. Took you twice as long as everyone else, but as you weigh two people, that sounds about right. Too late for shower, I'm afraid and lunch will be nearly over by the time you're changed. Best get straight to class." 

Beth sighed. No shower again. Stuffing her sandwiches down before class again. She hated eating in front of people as she always felt judged by them. Eating her sandwiches on the toilet was becoming more of the norm than the exception lately. Still, at least it meant she could enjoy it without feeling people's glare burn into her. Without hearing comments like, "clearly she's eaten enough of those, don't you think?" and "eating again, fatty. I suppose you'll faint without another Snickers in like, five minutes." So, munching down a peanut butter sandwich with the faint smell of urine and bleach in her nostrils was far less humiliating than eating in front of people. Perfect, skinny and beautiful people.  

Beth changed in silence as the other girls put the finishing touches to their hair and makeup, chattering away about what they would do that weekend. Beth listened quietly as Jessica complained that her parents wouldn't let her have a pool party that weekend as they were having it drained, so they were going hiking into the mountains instead. 

Pools, hiking, boys, weekends away with parents, perfect ponytails and lip-gloss. All alien concepts to Beth but this was a life she longed for, even if she could have just a glimpse of Jessica's chocolate box existence, it would be something. 

As Beth bent over to slip her shoes back on, she groaned against the pressure on her stomach. A gentle reminder of her oversized body. The perfect girls swished past her, ponytails swinging filling Beth's ears with their feminine laughter and her nose with their subtle perfume. Alone Beth looked down at the label on the top she was about to pull over her head and shook her head in dismay at the size, "XXXL."  She sighed and sat in the echoey silence, surveying her lonesome life and wondering if self-loathing had calories, because she felt another gorge-fest looming. Miles' playful chatter danced back into her mind and a smile played on the corners of her lips. He understood and she considered how his humour always seemed genuine, not merely a shield used to deflect hurtful remarks. Beth wondered how his apparent self-acceptance had come to him. Was it because he was a boy and for fat girls different rules applied? Did his parents provide him with these tools or did he hone them himself at primary school age? Beth blushed as the possibility of actually speaking to Miles about it flashed into her mind. Shyness prevented her from such a bold move ... but nevertheless, she continued pondering about speaking to him as she made her way, sandwich tin in hand to the toilets. Perhaps today she'd speak to him ...