Seeing my phone ring I look at the caller ID, Jesse for the fourth time this morning. After trying my best to avoid everyone after last night I realise it isn't going to happen.

"Hello?" I say it sounding more like a question but in all honesty I don't know what to say.

"I know you probably don't want to see me but I'm outside" he says and I get a feeling of dread "I know you're home as well. Don't avoid me Montana"

"I suppose you better come in" I say. My plan to avoid everyone has obviously failed. I don't even know what to say to him.

"Hey" Jesse says as he finds me in the living room. I've never felt so awkward around Jesse in the whole time I've known him.

"Hi" I try to bring a smile to my face seeing Jesse but I feel sick.

"What's up? You don't look too good"

"Is this you saying I look like shit?" I ask as serious as possible "I'm joking. I'm fine though don't worry about me it's nothing"

"That tells me there's something on your mind, Montana Grace" I feel Jesse pull me into him as he joins me on the sofa, looking at his face and the concern written all over it I realise I need to tell him what's going on.

"Where's Anoushka?" I ask not wanting the little girl to hear what I have to say.

"She's with my mum. Stop stalling"

"What about everyone else?" I ask wondering where everyone is.

"I came on my own. I thought we needed to talk after last night. Something in the way you were acting wasn't you. What's going on you can tell me?"

"I was out of order last night but I've got a lot going on it's not an excuse though"

"Tell me. Help me understand what's going on in your head. You know you've got me Montana" realising I can trust Jesse I take a deep breath.

"Okay I'll tell you everything that's going on. If I tell you this you have to promise me you'll never tell Chris. I mean he can't know a single thing about it okay?" I say to Jesse knowing my brother can never know about anything I'm about to say. Moving away from Jesse I turn so I'm sat facing him.

"I want to say I promise Montana but you've got me really concerned now" Jesse says and I can understand why he'd think like that.

"I know you just need to remember that it's in the past and I've moved on. You'll literally be the first person to know about this so if Chris ever finds out anything I'll never speak to you again because I'll know he's heard it from you"

"Okay I'll not mention anything to anyone" Jesse agrees and I can tell it's reluctant.

"Thank you" I take a deep breath shaking "this is harder than I thought it would be"

"Take your time. I'm here to listen as long as you need me to"

"When I was in Australia, I was raped by my boyfriend actually I should say my ex-boyfriend because I ended it straight away. I didn't tell anyone but I did report it. I kept telling him no and that I didn't want it, his words were 'we'll be quick' and he went ahead. I went physically numb it was like my whole body shut down and I couldn't move, I literally lay there and let him do whatever he wanted until he'd had enough. Afterwards I was a mess but I knew I couldn't let him get away with it. As soon as he left I went to the police station and told them what he did. I gave a statement and they took me to hospital to do a forensic medical examination. My thighs were black and blue off him and I was bleeding. It mortified me going through the medical examination, my body was a crime scene but they had enough evidence to arrest him. Eventually it went to court, I say eventually but it was pretty quick because it was a sexual assault, I had to give evidence and I was cross examined but they did find him guilty. He was sentenced to 8 years in prison and as soon as I knew he was behind bars I had to get out of Australia. Yesterday I got a phone call from my lawyer and he's trying to appeal his conviction" I wipe my eyes feeling the tears start to betray me after keeping them in for so long. Within seconds I feel Jesse pull me into his chest relaxing at the familiarity of being in his arms.

"Cry as much as you need to Montana. I'm here. None of this is your fault and you're unbelievably strong for dealing with this on your own. You aren't alone now though Montana. Anytime you need someone to talk to I'm here. Morning, noon or night all you need to do is phone me and I'm there" wiping my eyes I turn to face Jesse draping my legs over his softly kissing his lips.

"Thank you for listening" I kiss him again running my fingers through his hair as I stand up "I'll be back in a minute. I need to fix my face" walking out of the living room and into the bathroom I lean against the sink taking deep breaths. I've finally told someone what happened and I feel relieved. I know I can't ever tell my mum what happened it would break her heart but Jesse was the last person I expected to tell.

Splashing my face with cold water I'm thankful I didn't wear makeup today. Deciding to face Jesse again I grab us a drink before going back to the living room.

"How you feeling?" Jesse asks.

"I think I'll be okay. I don't want you to treat me like I'm fragile. I'm still the Montana you know" I say hoping Jesse doesn't judge me or look at me differently.

"I don't want to treat you different but it's hard to understand why someone would ever want to do that to another person. Can I ask you something?"

"You know you can" I say not knowing what Jesse's going to hit me with.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" The question I was dreading. The one question I don't have a definitive answer to.

"I felt like I was weak for not being able to fight him off. He was my boyfriend I should've been able to fight back" I say thinking back to when everything happened "I thought people would look at me differently or think I'm damaged"

"Right you're definitely not weak. You've been so strong dealing with this on your own. You were strong enough to report what happened and get justice not many people could've done that especially on your own"

"I don't feel strong I feel guarded and closed off. I did what I had to do so this didn't happen to anyone else but I feel broken inside. I don't think I'll ever fully trust anyone again, I've had therapy for PTSD and I feel better after having it but the whole experience has changed me as a person. I started going to the gym lost a load of weight, got fillers and dyed my hair. Stuff I didn't need to do but I did it for myself, I decided I wasn't going to think about it and if I wanted to do it, I was going to"

"I mean if you did all of that because you wanted to and not because of what happened good on you" Jesse says and I reassure him that it was all things I'd wanted to do for a long time.

"Do you want to talk about last night?" I ask realising we need to talk about it and I want to changed the subject "that's why you came isn't it?"

"It doesn't feel right now"

"Jesse please. I don't want you to treat me any different now you know"

"Okay so how was it for you? Personally I thought it could've gone a lot better than it did"

"That's true" I say laughing "I think it's safe to say Daniela hates me"

"Hate is a strong word to use" Jesse says trying not to laugh, he knows I'm right.

"She felt strongly towards me. I did kind of tell her I could have you at the drop of a hat if I wanted" I say biting my lip. It's like I've turned Jesse into a possession.

"It's the truth" Jesse says with a shrug.

"Maybe that's not something we should tell her Jesse" shaking my head I try to hold my laugh in. This isn't something we should be laughing about. "I might've also said I don't give a fuck what you get up to and I'm not interested in you but we both know that's the lie of the decade"

"You don't care what I get up to because normally I'm with you" Jesse says looking over at me from the corner of the sofa.

"Okay you've got a point. I think I just lost it because I was frustrated with everything I've got going on. What concerned me though was Noush, Jesse I've never seen her act like that" I say with genuine concern for his little girl.

"Last night was a little bit exaggerated I think because everyone was there but that's usually how it is with Noush and Daniela together. They completely clash and it worries me" Jesse admits and I can tell last night was hard for him. "Daniela's already leaving, she's on a flight tomorrow and in a sense I'm pleased because I get the real Anoushka back"

"I think that's the issue though Jesse. She never sees her mum so she doesn't have the relationship or bond and Daniela can't blame anyone but herself. Imagine yourself as a three year old knowing your mum, the person who's supposed to love you more than anything in the world is leaving you again. It's sad Jesse"

"No matter how much I try to talk to her all I get is that she has to work and I can't go backwards and forwards all the time and I can't expect my mum to do it"

"What does she even do over there?" I ask not knowing what Daniela abandons her family for.

"She got a part in a long running soap. It's not broadcast over here so I've never actually watched it before but when she isn't filming she's doing talk shows and photo shoots" Jesse says and I can see he's hurt "I actually think our relationship has ran it's course I just don't want her to take Anoushka"

"That's something you and only you can decide Jesse" I say not wanting to influence his decision at all. If he wants to change anything it has to be because he's made that decision, I'd hate to be the reason why he does anything. Decisions regarding his marriage can't be taken lightly.