It was one thing to not know about things and be happy in that obliviousness.

And it was another thing to know you don't know so much and reel in the darkness that it brought to your life.

For Avni, it was quite obviously, the second instance that was ruling her life right now, and she was helpless at the hands of her fate, once more in her life: a fact that she resented wholeheartedly.

And now, as she stood holding the railing of the same spot from where her entire childhood and life had taken a different turn, the same place where Dayavanti Mehta had once shot her and she had fallen from, she was a myriad of hues, her mind buzzing with a million thoughts, all sporadic.

It had been a week since that evening when she had gone to Vishal's party and so many things had changed ever since. As if things in her life hadn't really tested her already before.

In these seven days, if she had done two things religiously, it was shunning off calls and messages and attempts for amendments from two people.

First was Vishal of course, after he would have gained his sanity back and realized what a drunk douchebag he had been to Avni that evening.

And now brownie points for guessing, the second was the ever mighty yet helpless Neil Khanna who had made all possible attempts to get to Avni, but all were futile.

At the mere recollection of Neil's name, Avni flinched and clutched the sides of the dress she was wearing.

.

.

She was unaware of so many things at once that she didn't even know where to start from.

For starters though rationally, she was in a dilemma about one thing:

What was irking her more?

The fact that she not only allowed Neil Khanna to kiss her, relishing her like no tomorrow but also gave into her own wanton by kissing him equally passionately in return?

Or the fact that the guy was possibly married to someone else, and his character was as disgusting as she had once found Ashish Mehta's to be?

.

Her mind was at loggerheads, where it was constantly ushering her to a space where her memories could unravel but unfortunately, it wasn't being kind to her, as her episodes were not at all in her own hands or as per her own discretion. They came and went as they pleased, and it was not something that a rather stubborn Avni ever fancied.

For some odd reason though, more than that dreadful day of being shot in this spot, today she was recollecting more of the day when she had met Neil here for the first time, the day when he had made an unceremonious entry in her life, making them both fall into the sea, and well, he had saved her too.

It was peculiar to her own self as Avni thought that she remembered all of it so well, as if it was a time etched to her memory strongly, then why the hell didn't she remember things in the timeline that followed much later?

As she tried too hard to bring herself to remember, anything, anything that could help fill the void in her heart, her head spun as sudden random episodes started flashing in front of her eyes, that made completely no sense to her, but definitely made her heart race.

The same spot.

Daytime.

A woman in red saree.

She was sitting on her knees.

With a ring in her hands.

.

.

As the impact of the episodes got stronger, Avni was very close to lose herself as well as her balance, when suddenly a pair of strong hands stopped her from the fall, as he called out her name out loud simultaneously, ''AVNI!''

.

.

As she lifted her gaze, her eyes met a pair of concerned hazel orbs, and for a moment, she wasn't really surprised to see him here, saving her from falling, yet again.

''Yet again?''

It was more of her own conscience whispering to her, as the vague episode of a woman in red saree right in this place once again flashed before her, only this time, she also saw a vague image of a man in front of her too, and he had saved her from falling from here, the same way, the man in front of her did.

''Neil!''

She finally uttered his name, as Neil pulled her far from the edge of the place, his own heart racing like never before, the fear of losing her still instilled in his mind as a stone carving.

He had been a wreak in the past one week, thinking about Avni, and how she was doing after whatever crap had happened following that one beautiful moment they had shared that evening.

He knew she was health wise fine, as Neela Maa regularly informed him about her every night, but he was aware that since that day Avni hadn't stepped out of her house.

And so, today when Neela Maa told him that Avni has finally come out of the confinements of the four walls of her room in the pretense of visiting a friend, he knew he had only this opportunity to make amendments, before it was too late.

He had gone to Ayesha Maa's house, followed by her grave, but she was not in any of these places, and hence, his third best guess was this Suicide Point, the place that had left a mark in Avni's life: good and bad both, since this was where she was once almost killed and this was also the place where they had first met.

In the last one week though, Neil had done his homework well and prepared himself for any sort of blow that awaited him. He made sure that all evidences of his marriage with Avni was erased from the face of this earth, and thankfully, due to his profession, it was quite efficient to get this done.

As on today, no multimedia news existed in any archive or data base that confirmed his marriage with Avni. And for the rest of the things, he had made sure no physical picture or evidence of their betrothal was available in front of Avni.

In fact, he had asked Bebe to remove their pictures from their bedroom in Khanna Mansion as well.

And whatever printed evidences from newspapers remained that could even remotely hint at him being married, were dumped and burnt, at his condo, as per his instructions to DD.

.

.

Only he knew how difficult it was for him to do all of this, but like always, his conscience had asserted only one thing, and that was, everything he was doing it was only and only for Avni. And if by the end of it, he could get his Avni, his life back, he would do it all over again if need be.

His reverie was broken right as he heard her say something.

At first he thought he just heard her thanking him, for saving her, which she of course did. But what he had missed out on was something very crucial and when it finally registered, it only made his heart skip a beat.

.

.

''Has this happened before? You.. saving me, here?''

He thought he had lost his voice when he started having the repercussions of her words, but the pessimistic in him soon overshadowed the little ray of hope that had risen in his heart, as he thought, maybe she is talking about the first time they met when he had saved her from drowning.

And so, gathering his composure back, he averred rather coolly,

''This? Of course! Don't you remember, the first time we met, and fought? I had only saved you!''

He was thinking of diverting their conversation when it was time for him to get another little shock as he saw her shake her head in negative and add,

''That day I remember! But I am not talking about that day. I am talking about a similar thing that just happened. Had this happened between us, before? I see someone in a red saree here.. there was a ring.. and, and-''

His eyes went wide in shock as he heard her recall one memory from her lost ones, that held such an important place in his own heart for it was the first time ever that Avni had spoken her heart out to him, and had told him how much she wanted him.

The essence of that memory was still as fresh as a June rose in his mind, and he couldn't help the lone tear that escaped his eye.

Though he hated how everything had conspired that day, when instead of kissing her senseless on her proposal to him, he had to break it to her that he had a love child with Juhi.. Something which was not even true!

He tried to wipe it off from his mind and that he did as soon as he found Avni clutching her head, as if the episodes were taking a toll on her, and that made him alarmed instantly and he grasped her by the shoulder, holding her tenderly close to himself.

On one hand, his happiness knew no bounds that Avni was making such quick progress with recollecting her memories but on another hand, he knew he mustn't get so excited and push her to recall more, as he knew how fragile her state truly was, and the regular word he had with her doctor was enough ground for him to understand that he should let this whole process be natural and the memories should come back to her on their own accord.

And so, with a slightly heavy heart and a determined voice, he told her with all sincerity,

''Avni, I know you are upset for whatever happened that evening. But trust me, it is not what you think.''

He expected her to give him some attitude, the way it had been between them until that party, but to his surprise, she was rather calm and composed, as she listened to him patiently.

He let out a sigh before adding, ''Some months ago, I had gone to Goa for a mission where we had to save a little girl from her abusive father who was also a criminal, and for that mission, I had to go undercover and pose as a married man, with a supposed wife. So, it was a colleague of mine who had acted as my wife to accomplish this mission.''

''The senior officer you saw that day is retired, so he might not know all of this in detail and took everything at face value, and hence, the confusion! If you want, you can even check online or elsewhere Avni.. I, I'm not married.''

He felt a huge weight lifted off his chest as he said all of this to her. Neil knew this was all a cooked story, but he knew this lie was of no harm as long as it kept his wife, who was sitting right beside him right now, and oblivious to the fact that he was her husband, safe, then it was as worthy as platinum.

He studied her face keenly as he saw her register his words slowly in her mind, and at that moment, he felt resurrected from hell knows where, because out of all the things, he saw that she indeed trusted whatever he told her.

It was extremely hard for him to let this charade go on but the only thing that gave him some hope was Avni's steady progress and he knew that the day wasn't far when he would happily drop this charade for his Avni would be back to him, and remember all of their memories together.

At that thought of his, Avni took a step away from him, making his heart clench for a moment, where he thought did he get too happy too soon?

But thankfully the next words that came out of her mouth only restored his sanity.

''Neil.. My life has turned into such a puzzle, where I no longer know what is right and what is wrong. Every time I feel like I have mustered some courage to live this day, the void in my chest expands and I again fall into a dark abyss.''

Neil knew exactly what she meant by that.

Who knew it better than him, what it was like, to live with a void in your chest?

Till the last six months, wasn't it exactly what he was going through?

Where he knew Avni was out there, in a slumber, close yet far, and he didn't know whether he would ever have her talk to him again, walk again, live again, but still he had to face every day like a brave person, despite the fact that he was broken from the inside.

And today, Avni's condition was no different.

She knew her memories were out there, she knew there was actually a year and more of her life that she had lived, and was entitled to know and remember, yet she had to live with this void in her heart of not having it anymore and face the world every day like a courageous soul.

At that realization, he cupped her face, trying to give her some support, when she said, ''I.. I feel that apart from our first meeting here, there is also another memory of us here.''

Neil felt like actually revealing it all to her, but he controlled himself.

''How did you know I was here?''

That was her next question to him.

''I didn't. I had some work here, and I saw you. And I am glad I did!''

The first part he lied, the last part, no.

And given the state of mind Avni was in, she readily bought his explanation.

She once again looked distracted, and that's when Neil mustered up a lot of courage, a lot of strength, to say what he was going to say.

''Avni, I am not going to tell you that it will all get better, because then you might think I am being that clichéd variant of giving consolation and you deserve anything but pity from anyone! All I can say is, don't be so hard on yourself. You have lost your memories, fine. You will get them back! You are already getting them back, slowly but surely. And if nothing at all, then just trust me on one thing.''

He had her complete attention now.

''Regardless of the memories you lost and the past that is also so vague to you, you cannot deny the connection, the bond we both share, as can't I. So, at least for that feeling's sake, for that connection's sake, even if for argument's sake.. Give me a chance?''

Avni looked at him in the eyes as soon as he said that.

A part of her knew this palpable situation between them was no new story and had to have its roots from ages ago. How could she deny it?

After all, even she knew that all her episodes that unlocked random gates of her memories, were all triggered by only one person.

And that was him.

ACP Neil Khanna.

And so, unlike other times, today, even she couldn't feign obliviousness anymore, because truth be told, neither did she regret that intimacy she shared with him a week ago nor did she feel skeptical about where this was going.

''Take a leap of faith, Avni. For once. For me? Please?''

Neil asked her, in a voice barely audible, but she heard him nonetheless.

A tear trickled down her cheek as she felt for the first time in weeks that something right was on its way to happen, and as much as her heart raced with the adrenaline flowing through her veins rampantly, she so wanted to go with this flow in this unpredictable, unknown ride.

And so, she flashed him a small smile before placing her hand on his waiting palm, and in that moment Neil Khanna knew, his journey of making his Avni, his once again, had become all the more worthwhile.

**