❝sadly.❞

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December 11th, 2016
1:08am

      THEY FOUND a letter. it was under harry's pillow. they immediately gave it to lila because the first thing they saw on it was her name.

      she look at the handwriting after she opened it, she smiled. because his handwriting was as unique as him, sloppy in some places but still beautiful.

"dear lila,

when tomorrow happens, and i am not here to see if the sun rising to meet your eyes, filled of tears for me. i wish so much for you not to cry, not to beat yourself up for this like you have been doing. i am happy with you, i am satisfied with what we did say and do together. lila you showed me happiness, you showed me the beauty of this earth, you are the reason my world was a beautiful thing. i know that you love me as much as i have come to fall in love with you. and i am proud and thankful to say that you were my first and last love.

and for each time you think of me, i know you'll miss me deeply. so when tomorrow happens, i want you to try and focus on our happy times and not remember that i am gone.

lila, you gave me everything i ever wanted. i'm not talking about presents or anything that you bought. i'm talking about the love and support and care you gave me. i'm talking about all the beautiful things you showed me, and how you brought life and color into my world.

my darling, i love you. i will always love you. i will watch upon you in times of need, to make sure nothing bad happens to you. and i hope and wish that you do not come and see me for awhile. i want you to be happy and live your life.

please don't let my death ruin the life that you still have to live. don't think of me as dead, because our story still be embedded in your mind. our love will still be alive. tell people about our story, let them know about our love. because even though we aren't together right now, our story will live on.

live your life, travel, write, be happy. not for me, but for yourself.

i love you. i know you love me too. thank you for giving making my last few months, the best time that i have ever spent on this earth.

goodbye.

love, harry."

      she felt as if her whole world was falling apart yet was going so slow; to the point where it's giving her migraine. all she knew to do was cry.

      she didn't like to think about the fact that he was gone but she had to. even though it was so sudden and unexpected, she had to come to terms with harry's death. because if she didn't, she wouldn't be able to truly live the rest of her life. she knew harry wouldn't want her to change like that. because harry loved her too. every single thing about her, every single thing she did, he loved so much. so why would she change? just because he was gone, she knew he was still there. watching over her. and that's all she could really ask for now.

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      she entered the lonesome, quiet apartment. everything was where it was supposed to be. untouched, the last person to touch it was harry. she walked threw his apartment, looking at all of the little things. having every detail of his apartment embedded in her mind. she didn't want to touch anything. she didn't want anything to happen to this apartment. to harry's apartment.

      it was harry's apartment, his safe and quiet place. the place where he spent most of his last few months. he put everything where he wanted them to be put.

      she made her way to his bedroom, looking at all of the details of it. she began to cry again. it had felt as if when he took his last breath, he took a piece of her with him.

      at that moment she didn't quite know what to do but cry. she climbed into his bed and covered herself completely with the blankets. her nose filled with the familiar scent of honey and lemon. it had become to be harry's signature scent to which she grew extremely attached to.

      she didn't quite know what was to come but all she did know was that she wanted to stay here. enveloped in his covers and scent, in the apartment she has become so familiar with. but this wasn't her home. her home is gone.

      harry was home to lila.

      and she doesn't know if she will ever find a new one; not that she wanted to.

      that's the sad thing about life. the one's you love, no matter how much love and care and trust you put into a person. they always leave, whether it be there purpose or not. everyone dies at one point in time. so you just have to keep going. and not let their death drag you down.

      because you still have your own life to live.

      that's how life is.

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