It was the first year that Harry was truly free for Christmas; there were still Death Eaters out there, but precautions could be taken to keep them away which would have been ineffective against Voldemort. Hence, for the first time Harry was being allowed to go to the Burrow for Christmas; he only wished that the idea did not fill him with such panic every time he thought about it.

He smiled and tried to lose himself in celebration excitement each time Ron mentioned it in the last couple of days of term, but he could not completely shake the panicky depression that threatened at the idea of separation. When the day finally came to climb onto the train to return to London, Harry felt more like he was being ripped away from where he needed to be rather than going to his best friend's home for some holiday fun. He was so agitated that he only managed to sit with Ron, Hermione and Ginny for a few minutes before he needed to move.

"I'm going for a walk," he said, standing quickly as the desire to leave the compartment became too much. "I'll be back in a bit."

He didn't give any of his companions time to offer to come with him and disappeared into the corridor quickly. At this time in the journey when everyone had just found their seats, the hallways were empty and Harry began to make his way to the back of the train, trying to focus on the simple act of walking rather than the thoughts that were flying around his head. So caught up with not thinking was he, that until the door to the last carriage opened he had not even noticed the slight shift in his magic that always occurred in one person's presence. Draco froze in the doorway and Harry could only stare.

"Looking for something, Potter?" Draco asked in what was almost a perfect impression of his usual tone, although Harry could hear the tension below it.

"Trying not to, actually," he replied quietly; "I thought you and the Slytherins were at the other end of the train."

"Not that I have any need to explain myself to you," Draco drawled in a superior manner, "but I needed something from the luggage car. What's your excuse?"

"I don't have one," Harry said.

That rather took the wind out of his companion's sails. As Harry had discovered over the last two weeks, sniping and yelling were mainstays of their adversarial relationship, but stark honesty was not something Draco was equipped to deal with. When Harry chose not to hide behind bravado and insults, his Slytherin counterpart didn't seem to quite know how to deal with him.

"Still pining over me, then?" Draco asked coldly, as if he didn't know.

Harry knew that Draco was feeling at least some of what he was going through, but Draco had such a good mask that it was impossible to tell how much. Taking his Gryffindor courage firmly in both hands, he did the only thing that he could think about and stepping up to Draco he pushed him against the side of the corridor, covering Draco's mouth with his own.

At first Draco froze, but as Harry flicked his tongue over closed lips, Draco's mouth opened allowing him access as Draco melted into the kiss. It was the most wonderful feeling; the human part of Harry revelled in the feeling of acceptance and the Seraphim part basked in the touch of his mate. It was perfect, it was right, as tongues explored mouths and hard needy body pushed against hard needy body, but it did not last.

Almost as quickly as he had acquiesced to the tryst, Draco changed his mind and rejected it. Harry found himself shoved onto the opposite wall with Draco leaning against the other, looking scared and confused. Draco was flushed and breathing hard; his clothes were mussed, and his hair was no longer neatly brushed, but it was the fear in his eyes that pierced Harry's soul.

"No," Draco said, as if he was talking to himself more than Harry.

Then his mate was gone, almost running down the train away from Harry. The most desolate feeling welled up in Harry's chest. Slowly he let himself slide down the side of the train and he sat there staring at his hands, trying to contain the despair that flooded over him in waves.

~*~

Arthur had been at the station to meet them and Harry had just about managed to climb into the car as Draco was climbing into a fancy-looking Rolls. The part of him that was Seraphim had screamed at him that he was letting his mate leave and it had not cared that it would only be for the holiday. Turning his back and slipping into the seat next to Ron had been harder than he had ever thought possible. He had spent the journey to the Burrow the same way he had spent most of the train journey; staring out of the window, answering any direct questions, but mostly remaining silent.

Waiting for them on the doorstep was Molly, who swept Ginny into a hug as soon as the girl was out of the car then moved on to Ron and finally came to Harry. He found himself wrapped in the woman's arms in a bone crushing embrace before being held back and examined.

"My, my, Harry," Molly said brightly, "when Ron said you had grown, I had no idea how much. Those pictures in the Prophet did not do you justice."

He managed to smile at her and accept the scrutiny in good spirits, even if he had to try very hard to maintain the act.

"I can't get used to not being shorter than everyone else," he replied as cheerfully as he could, "and I keep forgetting to duck."

Molly smiled.

"I can imagine," she said, obviously pleased by his response. "Well supper's almost ready and I'm sure you must all be hungry."

There were murmurs of consent from all around and, as a group, they set about pulling their things from the car. Harry had just leant in to the seemingly never-ending boot to pull out Ginny's holiday bag when two loud cracks sounded.

"Trouble has arrived," Ginny said cheerfully, but she was already running to greet the newly arrived Fred and George.

Harry continued emptying the boot, keeping his head down and knowing that sooner or later the comments would start. It wasn't that he minded the twins joking around, it was that he wasn't sure how much of it he could take at the moment, and he knew for a fact they would find his new appearance an irresistible source of amusement.

"Just look at you ..." Harry couldn't tell if it was Fred or George who spoke first, mainly because he still had his head in the car.

"Our Harry's turned into a stud," the other finished and as Harry fished the last item of luggage out of the boot he straightened and turned to face the twins.

"Voldemort was good for something," he said, actually managing a genuine smile.

"There are easier ways to get a makeover, mate," Harry thought it was George said cheerfully and slapped him on the shoulder.

"There are," Harry asked with a good impression of wide-eyed innocence. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Even Ron snorted a laugh at that, which wiped away the worried little frown with which his friend had been watching Harry through the whole exchange. Ron had been shooting looks like that at him all day, if he was honest with himself, for weeks, and taking a deep breath Harry decided that above all else he was not going to ruin Christmas for anyone.

Part of him felt as if the end of the world had come and gone, merely neglecting to inform the rest of him, but pulling together every scrap of will he had he pushed those feelings to the back of his mind.

"We hear you ..." Fred said, draping his arm over Harry's shoulders.

"...can fly," George finished, walking up on his other side.

That was the point where Harry began to worry.

"And we have this..." Fred continued cheerfully.

"...new product," George elaborated, "only we haven't tested it yet and..."

"...to someone with wings," Harry felt like he was watching tennis, "it poses no..."

"...danger. So we thought we might be able to..."

"...convince you to be our lab..."

"...rat."

Harry looked from one twin to the other one more time and then smiled in a way that they both found disconcerting if the matching moments of worry were anything to go by.

"What's it worth?" he asked.

All through supper the twins continued to try and convince Harry that helping them test their latest invention would be fun, pain free and not in the least bit dangerous. They weathered the looks Molly was sending them the entire time and Harry actually found their antics quite entertaining and he played up to them the whole time. It was a blessed distraction from all the dark thoughts playing through his mind and he jumped into the discourse with both feet.

It was halfway through pudding when the fireplace belched and someone stepped out; at first thanks to the flash of flame Harry couldn't work out who had just arrived.

"Remus," Arthur greeted cheerfully, "we were beginning to think you might not make it."

"Committee meeting ran late," the smartly dressed werewolf said cheerfully; "the Ministry really didn't want to agree to our terms, but we twisted their arms."

No one had told Harry that Remus would be dropping by and he smiled at his friend in genuine joy. Without even thinking Harry climbed out of his seat and moved to hug the werewolf. It still felt very bizarre looking down, all be it only half an inch, at the man who had been one of his mentors for so long.

"How long are you staying?" Harry asked the excitement clear in his voice.

"Until Molly throws me out," Remus said with a laugh.

Harry's heart swelled; Christmas without Draco close was going to be difficult, but he hoped it had just become that much easier.