It was Evening time.. After a good three hour nap, Karan woke up first with his smile still on.. feeling refreshed, satisfied and relaxed as this was the first time he slept that peacefully after his brother's demise.
He looked up at Monami to find her still sleeping.. Not wanting to get up from the warmth of her arms.. Karan still laid down in her lap.. moving more closer to her, playing with her hands.
He released her soft hands from his grip, opened her palm wide & started writing their names - 'Monami' & 'Karan' in one palm and as 'Friends' on the other with his fingers..
He chuckled at his own antics and held her hands close to his chest as if they belonged to him..
Due to these slight movements of his.. Monami's sleep broke and she looked down to find Karan already awake.
Monami : "Karan tum uth gaye.. Mujhe uthaya kyu nahi? How are you feeling now..?" She asked him checking his temperature.
He got up and sat facing her answering.."I am feeling much better now Monami."
Monami : Hmm.. Your temperature has also come down, better than before! Have ur dinner early.. and then one dose of medicine.. Fever will subside by tmrw mrng.
Karan nodded and continued, "Wese mujhe naa tumse kuch puchna hai.."
Monami : I am all ears! Please go ahead Agent.
Karan : Do you treat all your patients the same way u treated me.. I mean this caring.. friendly.. soothing or is it just me?
Monami : Ofcourse I do treat my patients with care.. That's my responsibility! But that's bounded to certain limits.. to maintain professionalism and I abide to the rules of my profession.
And we are friends Karan.. So apart from my duty of being a doctor, as a friend I do genuinely care for you without any restrictions or limits coz friendship knows no bounds..! Right..?
Karan smiled and nodded to her words being contented with her answer.
Monami : Aur wese bhi iss Khadoos insaan apna dhyaan kaha rakhta hai ..? So careless when it comes to his own self.. Friend hu na I can't see u neglecting urself. So I've got a big responsibility on my shoulders regarding you. Huff !! (She said & sighed dramatically)
Karan : (giving a wide smile) Indeed !!
Monami : Okay then.. I need to go. Bye!
Karan : Bye ? Already ?? Dinner toh karenge na saath mein..?
Monami : Actually no.. I have got some cases to study and report it to my University. Aur mujhe bhookh nahi hai. I'll have cup noodles if needed. No worries. But u eat ur dinner on time and have this medicine. Don't forget !
Karan : Okay.
She then left to her room and got busy with her work.
Karan had his dinner and took his medicine, then went and sat at the deck watching the night sea..
The children were playing on the deck running here and there trying to catch each other.. giggling and laughing. Karan smiled looking at them. Those children seemed to be brothers. When the elder brother caught hold of his younger one they sat down trying to catch their breath.
The elder one took out a biscuit packet from his pocket and shared it with his brother. They both were munching their biscuits while talking and cracking jokes in between.
" They look adorable!", Karan thought as he reminisced his memories with his brother.
He could see himself and his brother in the two kids.
Exactly like them.. every night he used to sit with his brother on the terrace and discuss all the events that had happened the whole day with him.Whenever their parents used to get them something to eat..Param always used to share half of his with Karan. Karan always got his doubts clarified from his brother., Param used to become his strict teacher and him being his poor student. He still remembers the way how lovingly he used to address him as "Chote".
He missed it.. He missed himself being called like that.. He missed his brother. Tears brimmed in his eyes as he recalled his brother..
His trance broke as he heard the little boy saying to his brother, " Bhaiya..! mere liye ruko.. Mujhe akela chod ke mat jao bhaiya.." as the elder one ran leaving his brother behind..
Karan remembered the day when he said the same words to his brother. When his brother took his last breath in his arms - "Mujhe akela chod kar mat jayiye bhaiyaa.. Mai aapke bina jee nahi paunga bhaiya.. I need you bhaiya ! Aap mere saath aesa nahi kar sakte.. Aap mujhe akela chod kar nahi jaa sakte.. Plz wake up bhaiya.. Uthiye please!! " He said crying hysterically hugging his brother tightly.
Tears rolled down his eyes as he remembered the day his brother got martyred. The flashes of his brother ordering him to save the children first.. his helpless.. his brother fighting all the goons alone.. The goons continuous firing of bullets in Param's chest.. By the time Karan came back to find his brother lying in a pool of blood there.. His brother's last words to him, - "To stay strong, to become a great commando and to take care of their family..", his last salute to the nation and closing his eyes for forever in Karan's arms striked him hard.
He was crying profusely remembering the day in detail.. His eyes became puffed and red. He was feeling traumatized and rubbed his hands on his arms to calm himself down..but it didn't work. He needed someone, someone who could console him. He immediately got up and went towards Monami's room.. he raised his hand to knock on the door but held himself back remembering her words of her having some important work to be done.
He went back to his room still being in that devastated state and poured himself a glass of water to drink.. but due to his trembling hands, the glass dropped onto the floor and broke into pieces.
He fell down on his knees and sat by the bed.. tears continuously rolling down his eyes. He was continuously getting the flashes of that day.. he wanted to deviate his mind from those thoughts but they were evocative and haunting him.
Monami heard the noise of breaking glass from Karan's room.. getting worried she thought to check on him.
She went to his room to find the door open. She went inside and it was pitch - dark. She turned on the light to find a Shattered Karan sitting on the floor, hugging his knees lowering his head down resting it on his arms.
She went near him and asked," Karan.. Kya hua ? Tum ese kyu baithe ho? Neend nahi aarahi hai kya ?"
He didn't reply or respond to her.
She found something was wrong and lifted his head up to see a heart wrenching scene.
He was crying and his eyes were all red and swollen. He was sweating and getting hiccups.. his hands were cold and trembling. He looked frazzled.
As soon as he saw her in front of him, he engulfed her in a tight hug.. hiding his face in crook of her neck, weeping badly..
Monami asked him," Karan tum roh kyu rahe ho ? Abhi thodi der pehle tum theek the na. Kya hua hai.. Karan mujhe darr lag raha hai .. please batao Karan.."
But he in response to that just hugged her more tighter. Monami didn't understand what to do.. she didn't understand what has happened to him, but for now she thought to calm him down first.
She broke the hug and went to get him water as his hiccups weren't stopping. She got the water poured into a glass and made him drink. She wiped the sweat and tears from his face. He again hugged her back and was sobbing on her shoulder. Monami just let him be.., thinking crying his heart out might calm him down. She rubbed his back to comfort him.
Monami heard him murmuring in between his sobs..
"Mai.. mai apne.. aapne Bhai ko nahi bacha paya monami.."
Monami's heart sank in sorrow listening to that. Now she got it why he had said that bhabhi and baby are his only family living in deolali when asked the other day.
Monami just hugged him back tight giving him some needed warmth and said few consoling words to soothe him.
After some time his sobs reduced and when Monami felt that he was fine she broke the hug, took him to the wash basin and washed his face and eyes with cold water.
She made him sit on the bed and wiped his face with napkin. She passed him a glass of water which he drank.
Monami : "Yeh tumne apna kya halat bana liya hai Karan.. Dekho tere aankhe kitne laal hogay. Chalo ab kuch bhi mat socho. Raat bohot hogayi hai. So jao."
She made him lie down on the bed, tucked him in the blanket and sat beside him, caressing his hair. He turned towards her side, facing her. "So jao Karan! Mai yahi hu", she said.
He closed his eyes, feeling those light strokes and being exhausted by crying continuous.. he shortly dozed off to sleep.
Monami looked at him and thought- "Apne andar tumne kitna dard chupake rakha hai Karan.. But that's not good.You have to share it with someone.., The Hidden Pain..you have to speak it out to feel better. I hope you do it. Your a kind hearted person and I pray God that you get all the deserved happiness in your life!"
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* To be continued in Part 7 *
Thankyou for reading!!
~ HappySoul.