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April 2020

Pune

Indian Defence Station, Indian Air Force

Quarter No. 15

A breath. A tiny spur of a moment. It is like hem and haw, we do not pre-plan it; it just happens like a gradual process which becomes a part of our entity ever since our seed of existence comes to life. But what we fail to acknowledge is the fact that this little nanosecond between the inhale and exhale is enough to change the dynamics of our very being. It is as easy as I write and as onerous one undergoes. In just a breath, you either add another second in your life or when the time is up; you fail to make it till there. That miniscule of a moment is enough to turn our life upside down, in all the possible ways. Khair sahi bhi hai, kyuki pal toh ek he kaafi hota hai, zindagi ke aur zindagi ko dekhne ke maayne badalne ke liye.

(Nonetheless, it is indeed correct as just a speck of a moment is enough to change our life and the way we see it.)

The lifetime cherishing moment of their one of the very first, welcomed the exact unplanned change in their lives. It was that raw experience which let them be themselves but with a very evident newness. Karan and Monami basked in this incomprehensible yet bashfully fathomable myriad of feelings.

There was something so strong, so raw and so pleasurable about this newfound ignition of untamed and unfiltered soul quivering emotion. Karan and Monami mutually decided to go with the flow. They were adults and a couple and things like this were nothing unheard of. They both fell in a symphony to let their emotions decide their next move and at the same time, they made sure to not let these bubbling inflamed feelings overpower their sane mind and act on impulse.

Just like an ice cream which melts in the mouth, leaving behind its flavor, the days rolled in too, leaving behind a memory, sometimes pleasant and other times not. But Mr. and Mrs. Shergill left no stone unturned to make the best out of what they had. It was a phase, one of its own and there was no exact returning of the same. This was the best they’ll get in the beginning of their new beginnings.

Karan and Monami fell into an unfixed routine. There was not any major change in what they were following, like working out together, sharing kitchen duties, reading or watching series, attending meetings, having group video calls and giving enough space to each other to breathe without each other’s constant presence. But then too, there were a lot of changes. Like now Monami made an attempt to watch something or the other with Karan and the latter silently accompanied the former when she read and made sure she reads it, for him; there were more obvious glances than one when they worked out, there were more touches than required, though one of the things was silently affirmed and that was their kisses. Stolen kisses.

Mostly Karan, but nevertheless his better half too, made equal efforts to test the waters of their brewing intimacy. For now it was limited to kisses and pecks and a few strokes of fingers here and there.

Monami absolutely loved it when Karan peppered kisses randomly on her forehead or a subtle graze of his lips on over her cheeks, ears or hands. Meanwhile Kaptaan Sahab felt no different when his Officer Sahiba dropped a few pecks on his cheeks or temple whilst reading but his most favorite were the ones when she never missed to kiss his heart, whenever they were in each other’s arms. Oh did he not mention? He always felt warm whenever she would ruffle his hair, it reminded him of his mother; same tenderness, same affection, same kindness and same love. It always left him in a puddle of congeniality.

It was one such day, almost in the end of the April when after having their lunch, Karan and Monami were carelessly sprawled on the comfy mattress of their bed and the former was carefully adding the items to the cart for the upcoming month, as per the list made by him and his wife and the said wife in the meantime was just changing the pillow covers.

Karan just scrolled the popped up notification on his screen when his gaze fell on the date and he frowned a little before turning his neck on his left. “Monami?”

Monami, who just adjusted the pillow on her back, turned and then asked, “Haan?”

(Yes?)

“Tumhaare periods bhi toh aane waale hain na, sanitary napkins ya kuch aur jo tumhe chaiye ya jiski zaroorat ho sakti hai, who bhi toh order karna hoga na? Tell me, I’ll just add it.” Karan sincerely asked and it made Monami smile at the thoughtfulness of her spouse.

(Aren’t your periods approaching soon? Do you need anything, like sanitary napkins or any other essentials…?  Shouldn’t we order that too?)

“Nahi, haal filhal toh kuch nahi.” Monami shook her head and he nodded. Then scooting a bit closer so that the screen was easily visible to her, she asked, “Vaise kya kya already add kar diya hai tumne?”

(No. Nothing as of now.) (Anyway, what all have you added already?)

Since Karan was slouched down, just a minute step away from fully laying, he saw how Monami had to bend her neck so he just removed his left hand from the phone and curled around his wife and pulled her down, in a way that they were frames were touching each other’s sides.

But this action was so unexpected, that it caught Monami off guard and she fell against him, in a way that her face was perfectly in alignment with Karan’s. Just a second and they were trapped in the mystical look of each other’s eyes. Karan’s lips twitched up very subtly and he just placed a sweet peck on his wife and said, “Ab list check karlein?” And then with the evident flirt and tease laced in his tone, he turned and asked, “Ya phir kuch aur karna zyada sahi lag raha hai, Officer Sahiba?”

(Shall we check the list?) (Or do you feel there is something better than this, Officer Sahiba?)

Monami’s ear tips heated a little as she heard Karan and then hitting a light smack on his chest she rolled her eyes saying, “Besharam hote jaa rahe ho tum.”

(You are just becoming shameless.)

“Arrey bhai yeh toh naa insaafi hai, maine abhi tak toh kuch kiya bhi nahi aur tum mujhe besharam bol rahi ho.” Karan feigned his offence as he scrunched his nose. Then with a naughty smirk on his face, he sneakily yet purposefully traced the finger of his left hand which was already around her neck, on her nape he asked, “Mai toh thodi der sone ki baat kar raha tha, tum kya sochhh rahi thi?” he put special emphasis on sochhh as his tone became raspy.

(This is unfair, my lady! I haven’t even done anything yet and you’re calling me shameless.) (I was talking about taking a nap for some time, what did you think?)

Monami’s eyes widened and her mouth opened and shut in a failed attempt at speaking something. She then cleared her throat and narrowed her eyes before saying, “Tumne na ek faisla bohot accha liya, cricketer ban’ne ka. Kyuki tumhe mauke pe chauka kaise maarna hai, kuch zyada he acche se pata hai.” She paused and then said, “Aur ab zyada na chalaak mat bano aur dikhaao mujhe kya sab add kar chuke ho.” Saying so, she swiftly laid her head on his shoulder and pulled his phone up from his chest, in front of his face to open it.

(You’ve taken one amazing decision of becoming a cricketer in your life; you very well know how to hit off on the spot.) (And now don’t play smart with me and show me what all you’ve added.)

Karan chuckled and then they both went busy, whilst bantering or commenting in between. Once done with this and not having anything else to do since this day was relatively free, they kept aside their phones and unanimously decided to remain in the position they were in, snuggled up together. Karan slightly adjusted the temperature of AC and Monami pulled up the blanket on Karan’s feet. This guy’s feet get cold like ice with the slightest of the coldness.

While Monami was picking and playing aimlessly with the threads of the figure knitted on the pocket of his shorts, Karan’s eyes were closed as his hands were distracted in the lengths of Monami’s tresses.

Still busy in his ministrations, he paused. “Monami?” He then resumed his caresses.

“Hmm?” Monami hummed.

“From what I have heard, learnt and what I’ve observed the last time I was with you on your periods is that it is something which is painful and your body undergoes a lot of hormonal change.” Karan halted and Monami looked up, at him but didn’t question, she let him take his moment. Though she was at sea as she didn’t understand the reason behind this sudden query, yet she wanted to know everything before she reached a conclusion.

Karan then carried on, “Tumhaare training ke dauraan ya phir abhi bhi, jab tum missions pe jaati ho, toh how do you take care of yourself? Pain bhi rehta hoga aur kahin na kahin jaan ka khatra bhi. Aise mein, sab kitna mushkil ho jaata ho ga na? Aur kisi ko ghanta kuch farak padta hoga aap logo se yeh sawal puchne ka ki aap log theek bhi ho ya nahi, haina? Vaise bhi, aisi situations koi calendar check karke, shubh mahurat  nikal ke thodi na aati hai…” Karan scoffed at the end, he felt and thought something in a way like never before but of course he didn’t have a wife and on the top of it, a soldier.

(During your training period or even now when you go on missions, how do you take care of yourself? There must be a lot of pain and at the same time, danger to your life. In a situation like this, it must be difficult to manage, isn’t it? Moreover, no one would even fucking care to ask about your well being! As it is, situations like these do not arrive after making sure of an auspicious time.)

Monami’s mind flashed the memories back when she heard what her husband had said. Indeed, no one was concerned enough to ask for the reason behind their sullen and painful faces or when they constantly pressed their stomach or back. All they had was their determined self assurance and a few words of comfort from their mothers, if they were lucky enough.

She felt good when and surprised both, when Karan asked her this. This was literally out of nowhere but it never hurt someone to share a few moments like this, with someone who actually bothers about you.

Monami loosely flung her arm around Karan’s chest and cuddled a little closer and his hold tightened by the slightest bit. “Hota hai mushkil, lekin phir aadat ho jaati hai. Although it is very tough to comprehend as to how painful your upcoming periods will be, since obviously it is not something that can be predicted. There were days when the body would not support even an ounce of a movement but we weren’t given any special treatment since we ourselves signed for it. And now if I have to be honest then I would say ki even though body ko rest chahiye hota hai par mann nahi manta. Apna sab kuch apni wardi aur apne desh ke naam kiya hai, pure hosh o havas mein, toh phir toh kaisa dard aur kaisi parvaah.”

(It is difficult, but then you get used to it.) (And now if I have to be honest then I would say that even though the body demands rest but it is something that our heart refuses to give in. When we have surrendered everything to this uniform and our country, in complete consciousness then it really does not matter, neither pain nor concern.)

Karan just pulled her closer and planted a kiss on her forehead, making Monami smile. He then cupped her cheeks and raised her face so that he was directly looking in his eyes and muttered in an affirmed tone, “But now you don’t have to keep it stocked within you. You have me and you will let it out, all of it till you feel you’ve made enough space within you to refill it.” When he saw a whirlwind of emotions swirl through her eyes, he leaned down and placed a peck on her lips, it was so sudden that she couldn’t grasp what just happened but at the same time it was it was so unrushed and so promising, she couldn’t help but give in, reciprocating the movement of her lips against his.

Once they pulled back, Karan swept off the baby hair on her forehead and said, “And I mean it.” Saying so, he just rested his forehead against hers.

Closing her eyes to sink in the moment, she mumbled, “I know”, making him smile and rising up, he just kissed her forehead before taking back the earlier position they were resting. After a couple of seconds she with an equivalent amount of teasing and curiosity, she asked, “Kaptaan Sahab, kayi baar humare missions ya posting ki location aisi hoti hai jahan pe phone karna possible nahi ho pata, aise mein aap mujh tak kaise pahuchenge?”

(By the way, Kaptaan Sahab, many a times the locations of our posting or missions is such that there is hardly any possibility of phone calls, in that case, how will you reach me?)

“Simple, I’ll write you letters, like mummy used to do for Papa.” He said sincerely before adding dramatically, “Aur phir jab hum budhe ho jaayenge na, Officer Sahiba, tab hum inhe padhenge aur mai yeh gaaunga tumhare liye, Likhe jo khat tujhe who teri yaad mein!”

(And –Officer Sahiba, when we grow old then we’ll read these letters while I’ll sing these lines for you…)

Monami bursted into giggles and Karan joined her. Then, they spent a few minutes in comfortable silence, fiddling with each other’s fingers in a mindless manner. Pausing her thumb that was drawing on his palm, she tilted her head and looked at him, “Suno?”

“Sunao?”

“Disturbing toh tumhaare liye bhi ho jaata hoga na, jab tum kabhi apni khushiyaan apni family ke saath celebrate nahi kar paate hoge ya phir, jab tumhe unki zaroorat hoti hogi aur tumhare paas koi hota nahi hoga. I have heard that the public can be really reckless when you guys fail to perform well and they won’t even take a step back before trolling your family members.” Monami was concerned as she recollected an incident or a few which she read in the newspaper.

(It must’ve been equally disturbing for you, isn’t it? When you don’t have your family to celebrate your happiness or when you would need them the most.)

“It was and in fact, it still is. It makes me feel that I’m leaving behind a lot of things just to keep one going. Initially, it was all shades and synonyms of terrible. I was just learning to survive the frequent intervals of distance between us and then when Mummy left us; it was a phase I don’t even want to remember how it went.” Karan’s eyes were moistened as his subconscious traveled down the road of a painful reverie.

Monami held his palm that was on his thigh and squeezed it, breaking his trance. He inhaled a deep breath and continued, “Sach kahu toh mushkil aaj bhi hota hai, bas ab aadat si ho gayi hai. Aur pehlu iss baat ke bhi do hain, ek taraf acchi baat hai kyuki ab dimaag ab zyada betuki baton ko nahi sochta aur dusri taraf bura bhi hai, ki itna routine jaisa ho gaya hai na sab ki sukoon peeche dhundhala sa hota jaa raha hai.”

(To be honest, it is as difficult as it was back then but the only thing is, that I’ve become accustomed to it. To say, even this point has sides. On one hand, it is good since now my mind does not indulge in over thinking but on the other hand, it has no positive effects. It has become such a routine that the peace is fading out.)

“Karan, waqt kitna bhi kyu na daudta jaaye, I will always be by your side, falling in step with yours. Hume bheed ke saath nahi bhaagna, hume ek dusre ke saath sirf chalna hai. Rest assured, you’ll always have me, just like I have you.” Monami said softly whilst cupping his face pulled him down, before placing a tender kiss on his forehead. Then though with good intentions but with a ridiculous excuse, she trailed off, “Haan bas ek cheez ki guarantee nahi de sakti…”

(Karan, no matter how fast the time moves, I will always be by your side, falling in step with yours. We don’t have to race along with the crowd; we just have to walk, with each other.) (But I cannot guarantee one thing…)

“Kya?” Karan raised his brow.

(What?)

“Time ki.” Monami paused as she looked at confused countenance on Karan’s face. She then continued, “I mean, ab mere paas time kitna hoga yeh toh bata nahi sakti na, humari life hoti he unpredictable…”

(Of time.) (I mean how much time am I blessed with, I cannot tell you right? Our life is unpredictable as…)

Monami’s words never found a way to take a breath in the air as they were literally shut off by Karan, who pulled her in a ferocious kiss. Though Monami wanted to change the air, but like this? She wasn’t quite sure.

Monami couldn’t even react for the first couple of seconds since she had never been kissed like this. She understood that he was clearly angry with whatever she was speaking for he had never let the collision of their lips in such a rapacious manner. He initially didn’t even give her a chance to reciprocate, his lips busy in a one sided war with hers.

It was when Monami patted his chest, he allowed her to part her lips, his fingers of the right hand trailed on her back to the pony her hair was twisted in and with a force not gentle, he clutched it, pulling her more into him.

None of them knew that one second they were side by side and in another, it was Monami on the bed with Karan hovering over her, as he kept his weight on his left hand as his right was occupied.

Monami felt a thrill of feral ran through her veins. She was charmed and disarmed and efficiently possessed in his tunes. She was, in literal terms, a disoriented mess, by the time they finally slowed down. A moan escaped her swollen lips as Karan scraped them a bit, whilst pulling back.

Karan for sure, was unhappy when he heard the bullshit, as per him, his wife uttered and he couldn’t think of any other way than this to shut her up. He poured his raging anger in it, with all his might. But he himself didn’t know when their ferociousness was transfused with a searing spice. It just bewitched them into this spell of wanting for more and more.

The moment his fingers clutched Monami’s hair, he felt a sheer layer of dominance run through him; a layer he didn’t know held. But that moment, it was maddening. It was more than enough to leave him with a hard on and so he couldn’t help but give her tempting pair of pink petals a bite, before pulling back.

Once he pulled away, his entire demeanor was the same as hers. Eyes closed, hair a mess, lips swollen, heart beats wild and breaths, difficult. The only dissimilarity was in their positions.

After composing themselves, they both opened their eyes and the pools of midnight darkness clashed against a pair, no different. Karan made absolutely no effort to move from above her and she also didn’t find it necessary to ask him to do so.

“Aaj ke baad mai aisi bakwaas nahi sunu.” Karan gruffly said, leaving no room for discussion.

(I do not want to hear something as rubbish as this.)

“Nahi bolungi, lekin hai toh sach he.” Monami softly brushed her fingers against the untamed strands that were falling on his forehead.

(I won’t say, but it’s true.)

“Jaanta hoon, aur yeh bhi ki tumhe har baar aana mere he paas hai, tumhare liye, mere liye, humare liye.” Saying so, Karan placed a chaste kiss on her chin and then slid on her side, pulling her in his embrace.

(I know but what I also know is the fact that no matter what but in the end, you’ll always come back to me, for you, for me, for us.)

“Vaise agar dekha jaaye, Mrs. Shergill, toh hum ek he sikke ke do pehlu hain. We have some similarities and some differences. The biggest similarity that we have is the lack of the time we have, because we owe that to the responsibility towards our country and the variance being the challenges which our lives throw at us, in some ways or the other, ripping our calmness apart.” Karan said, while staring at the ceiling.

(By the way, if we put it accordingly, we are like the two sides of the same coin, Mrs. Shergill.)

Monami sighed with hum.

No sooner did they both get engrossed in their own bubble discussing their view points and debating on them, engaging in a round of sarcasm and wittiness and canoodling. In short they were simply being themselves before they were engulfed in the arms of uninterrupted slumber of noon which lulled them into a cozy sleep, in each other’s arms.

The walls of unspoken words and guards were crumbling down, one by one and none of them had any objection. Though unnerving, it was equally filled up to brim with a perfect concoction of assurance, trust, belief, understanding and topped with affection and tenderness.

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3.7k+ words.

Haanji, toh how was it? And how is the story so far?
I genuinely hope you'll are liking it.

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Nehal.