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Here is the new one! Although I tried to update a bit early but I couldn't get time neither to write not to think. But anyway, I would love to read your views and I absolutely love your inline comments, they legit make my day. Keep showering them!

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April 2020

Pune

Indian Defence Station, Indian Air Force.

Quarter No. 15

Emotion, a word that is so complete in itself. Swirling across the myriad of emotions all our life is what makes us human. At times, even the tiniest of sentiments makes us over sensitive and then there are moments which challenge us, looking in our eye to even let our eyelash flicker, no matter how soul crumbling the situation is. We most definitely like to dwell ourselves in the depths of contentment and pleasure and when the circumstances are not the way we want them to be, we sulk, till it’s very end. When we are happy, we completely let go of the thought that is painful, it seems all that matter is the moment in which we are in but when the tables are turned, we seek for the light, the light which will allow us to unleash the far etched happiness. Lekin kuch bhi kaho, jo baat takleefon mein hai na, woh khushiyon mein kahan? Takleefein hume sikhaati hai, aur kahin na kahin hume taraashti bhi hai aur khushiyan? Us lamhe mein hume sirf us lamhein ki kadr hoti hai, aur kuch kahan yaad rehta hai?

(Say whatever, but the spark which lies in struggles, isn’t there in happiness. Struggles teach us, and somewhere along the lines even carve us, but merriment? In that moment we only care about the moment and everything else remains blurred.)

Monami and Karan were undergoing a bittersweet feeling while watching the news which announced that the lockdown is further extended until 3rd may, which is like 20 days from now. They were certainly happy about spending some more time together, along with the fact that they’ll be together for his birthday, first birthday post their marriage. But what travelled along with this feeling was that as a result of this, they were yet again restrained.

Karan was borderline irritated, agitated, annoyed and what not. He in his entire career span rarely had a halt this long in which he was doing absolutely nothing. Though his heart was filled with the greatest level of gaiety over the last few days he spent in this very cocoon, with his wife, but then again, boundations like this were messing with his brain. He was all set to leave on the next day but now he knew better than it.

Monami turned her head to look at Karan in concern once they both saw and very well understood the message of the news. She was gauging her spouse’s reaction and therefore let her eyes roam on his sitting figure to have a clear understanding. One thing was crystal clear that Karan was going through a plethora of emotions and at this moment, the darker side shadowed over his otherwise calm rationale. Well that was normal, because he was a human too and Monami had no qualms, she rather understood what he must be feeling and hence she cautiously placed her palm on his shoulder, “Karan, tum...”

(Karan, you...)

Karan’s jaw was clenched and he fisted his palm tightly so as to not lose his control and do something straight out of impulsiveness. “Monami. No.”

“But Karan...” Monami tried to say something.

“I want some time, let’s not talk now.” Karan huffed out a breath and dashed inside the room, bolting the door shut.

Monami closed her eyes and exhaled a sigh when she heard the door getting close with a little bang. She shut off the TV and again sighed while keeping her eyes closed and twisting her neck to face ceiling. After sometime she saw the time and though it would be better if she starts preparing for the dinner.

In almost an hour, Monami finished her kitchen chores and she glanced at the closed door. She unhurriedly wiped her hands on the hand towel and then walked in the direction of the room. She knocked and waited for Karan to open the door.

Once Karan opened the door, she could clearly make out how messy he was. “Karan, tum theek ho?” Monami asked softly to which she was answered with a short nod. She then further said, “Khaana khaa lo.”

(Karan, are you okay?) (Have some food.)

“Nahi, abhi bhook nahi hai.” Karan’s voice came out quite gruffly as he flicked his nose.

(No, I’m not hungry right now.)

“Lekin thoda sat oh khaa lo, kabse aise he ho.” Monami was concerned for him.

(At least have a little bit. You haven’t eaten anything since so long.)

“No, Monami. Maybe later.” Karan just wanted to cut this conversation short.

Monami tried to pull on a last try as she just called his name, “Karan!”

Just a word and neither of them knew what just happened as Karan subconsciously snapped at Monami. “Kya khaana khaana laga rakha hai Monami? Kaha na ek baar nahi khana abhi, phir kyu zidd kar rahi ho?”

(Why are you constantly bugging me with this food? I told you right; that I do not want to eat, then why are you being so stubborn, Monami?)

Though it ticked Monami off, yet she knew better than to react on this. She calmly said, “Karan I was not bugging you. Mujhe sirf tumhari parwaah hai.”

(I just care for you, Karan.)

“Arrey toh mat karo na yaar.” Karan was finding it difficult to control his tone.

(So don’t do it, then.)

“Karan aise irritate hone se kya hoga? Will you find a way out of it?” Monami was trying really hard to be calm and not let the things out of control, for such reasons.

(Karan, what will you gain by getting irritated like this?)

“Monami, please. I’m not in a mood to listen to this. You go and have your food.” Karan huffed out.

“Karan, why are we even arguing? I mean we can sit and...” Monami tried once again but was cut off.

“Oh really? What is there in this to talk?” Karan opened the gate fully and crossed his hands on chest as he further continued, “Monami you stay here only, just one of these days and you’ll be permitted to go out but what about me? I cannot practice here. Tum pilot ho, plane chalana zindagi bhar nahi bhoologi lekin mera kyua? Maana bat chalana kabhi nahi bhoolunga lekin bina practice kiye jo form kharaab hota jayega woh? And you say why I am getting irritated.” Karan scoffed in the end.

(You’re a pilot and hence you won’t ever forget flying a plane but what about me? Albeit I won’t forget how to bat but without practicing, my form will be affected. What about this?)

Monami was really hurt with this statement. No matter how angry or as he put is, irritated he was, he had no rights to be so mean to her when she was just looking out for him. As it is, they were just by themselves and if it goes like this, how will it even work? They have hardly spent some time with each other and here they were arguing like this. She might not have felt what exactly Karan was feeling but it was not that she did not understand.

Monami took a step back and panted slightly before speaking in a firm tone, “Karan, baat jo bhi ho, tumhe koi haq nahi hai mere profession pe jaane ka. Aur doosri baat take your time aur jab dimaag thanda ho jaaye phir aana, tab baat karenge.” Monami turned to go but before that she looked back at him as she said, “I’m sure you’ll find a solution to move out, so please do share it with me as well.” Saying so, she walked away.

(Karan, no matter what it is, you do not have any right to speak like this about my profession. Secondly, take your time and when you cool down, then come to me, we’ll talk.)

Monami straight away went to the gallery in their living room. She held the balustrade as she reflected back on what transpired between them. She felt extremely bad and a bit more because this was the first time she saw Karan in this layer. Although she had heard things more hurtful than this, the difference was that none of them from her husband. She regained her composure and headed back in the kitchen after a few minutes.

She could feel Karan’s eyes on her as she saw him still standing on the threshold of their room but ignoring him; she picked one of the set plates and went in.

The moment Monami left, Karan felt like a bucket of ice was just thrown over him. Agreed, he might be in an unmitigated mood, but he cannot ever speak to someone in this demeaning manner and here he just behaved like an A grade jerk in front of his wife. This was such a low move of his. Damn you, Karan, he reprimanded himself.

Amidst his self cursing and trying to take a step in his wife’s direction to rectify his deeds, he realised he spent a lot of time by staying outside their room as his eyes captured in a sight of a very silent Monami. He went in the kitchen too, after taking a few deep breaths and noticed that she just kept the food back in their vessels and washed the plate. Just as he opened the mouth to say something, she went out, without paying any heed to his standing self.

Karan stood with his open mouth for a couple of seconds before closing it hastily as he turned but bumped his head with the wall and muttering some curses while rubbing his forehead, he went out too. When his eyes could not find her in the living room, he skedaddled towards their room.

Monami came out of the washroom, still feeling an intent gaze transfixed on her but turning a blind eye to it, she went towards the bed and just as she was about to unfold their quilt, she found Karan’s palm grabbing her wrist gently as he turned her towards him.

Sensing that Monami won’t saying anything, with the plain look she is giving him, Karan thought it was better to say what he wished to, without any further delay. He caressed her wrist, keeping his orbs fixated on hers. “I’m sorry, Monami. Please maaf kardo.”

(Please forgive me.)

Monami continued to look at him and after a couple of seconds she started to wriggle, in an attempt to get free from his hold. Karan wrapped his free arm around her waist in order to seize her actions and he was successful too. He tenderly took a step in her direction and freed her wrist and cupped her face, “I’m so sorry, meri jaan. I promise I won’t behave this reckless ever.” He continued swiftly once he noticed a slight twitch in her eye brows, “Aur agar kiya bhi, tab bhi aise shabd nahi kahunga aur kabhi galti se agar keh diya toh tum na 2 laga dena. Vaise bhi badi ho mujhse.” Karan added the last part to make her smile at least and his efforts did not go in drain as he noticed the subtle movement of her lips.

(My life.) (And even if I did, I won’t ever use these kind of words and mistakenly I speak like that and give me a good slap. As it is, you’re elder than me.)

Monami’s cheeks involuntarily covered themselves in a red hue as she heard him address her as meri jaan. Her heart melted over his actions as she heard his sincere apology and the way he wanted to make her smile.

“Maaf kiya?” Karan hesitantly asked.

(Did you forgive me?)

Monami subtly nodded and Karan could not control and therefore he leapt forward in order to hug her but his over excitement caused both of them to fall on the bed, since Monami was standing just a step or a two away from it.

Unable to comprehend the sudden jolt of imbalance, Monami tightly locked her arms around Karan’s torso and in order to protect her head, Karan quickly placed his palm, cupping her head.

Realizing that none of them got hurt, Karan slowly raised his body and then a realisation stuck him that they were entangled in the most compromising position. Her, under him. The consciousness left him disarmed. His mind was lost and well his eyes, they refused to leave the visage of his Officer Sahiba.

On not having any movement, Monami opened her eyes and her breath hitched when she looked in his dark orbs which she found more darker, clouded with a bazillion of emotions. One thing was very clear, not all the thoughts were holy. She knew what sentiments were eddying when someone was having a look like this, that too with an intent, unmoving gaze that refused to look elsewhere.

Karan could feel himself getting turned on and so did Monami. She could feel her arousal surfacing too. The things were just getting fierce between them and they were subsequently getting prepared in a totally unprepared manner. They were just going with the flow.

“Monami!” Karan’s voice came out huskier than expected and this turned the entire air more charged.

“Hmm...” Monami could only let out a moan feeling all her guards down and her senses, high on alert.

“Tumne maaf kardiya na mujhe?” Karan asked; slightly adjusting his weight on his arms.

(You forgave me, right?)

With rugged breaths, Monami nodded. She then opened her mouth to say something, but it took a lot of her efforts. “Karan!”

“Hmm?” Karan traced his thumb across the contours of her cheeks.

“Ha-Hato.” Monami fumbled and she tried to squirm and push him feebly with her palms.

(Mo-move.)

Karan again leaned in, ignoring a part of his body that demanded attention and removing his hand from her face; he grabbed her arm and raised it, before entwining his fingers with her and slowly stroking the back of her palm with his thumb. “Kyu?”

(Why?)

“P- Please.” She gasped slightly, feeling foreign when his now to life organ, graze her.

Karan sighed as he knew he had to get up before this situation leads to something else and also because he did not wanted a lot of their firsts in a situation after they had just come out of an argument. So, as much as he did not wished to get up, protesting against the sane part of his brain, he knew he had too, but his gaze was travelling back and forth to her lips that were parted like a trembling rose petal. Karan gulped in a huge lump, before placing a long kiss on the corner of her lips and a sweet bite on the skin below her jaw.

Karan then affectionately kissed Monami’s forehead and caressed her cheek and releasing her from his weight, he trudged in the washroom. As soon as he went in, he stood with the support of the gate and closed his eyes before trailing his palm across his face and messily rubbed the tuft of his hair, reminiscing all that transpired between them. One thing was sure, Monami Mahajan Shergill was an enigmatic force that rendered him disarmed and he would let her do so, time and again. He pulled his lower lip under the hold of his teeth, concealing a full blown smile and sighed knowing he had things to be taken care of.

Meanwhile after Karan left, Monami squeezed her eyes shut and made a fist with her fingers of the left hand and kept it across her wildly beating heart. Her body was soaked in the shades of shame and blush, her insides were all giddy and jittery and her breaths, well they were out of control. She was a mess. And all this led to one confirmation in her system, that Karan Shergill was growing onto her and how.

After Karan came out, he straight away went to the dining table and picking his plate along with adding some more re heated food from the kitchen, he came back in their room and called out in his hoarse voice, “Monami.”

Monami, who was in the gallery, came back in the room after hearing him call her. She had to take deep breaths before facing him as she was still not over the intimacy they were caught in.

When Monami stepped back in the room, Karan placed his palm in front of her to hold and she did, after letting her eyes trace the path towards his, who indicated her to follow. Karan let both of them have a seat on the bed, with her against the headrest and he, in front of her with their knees brushing each other’s. His orbs could not miss the little flustered actions of his wife he could clearly make out that she was indeed nervous. But man, he was no different. He was a bit coy too, though he felt it should be better to talk it out and that he can shy later.

Karan took hold of the plate and made a morsel before keeping it in front of her to eat, making her a bit startled and a little bashful. As she hesitantly ate it, her lips touched his fingers and the sparks were back to life, but they both ignored it. Karan initiated, “I’m so sorry for the words I used earlier. That was very very low of me.”

Monami redirected his hand with the next bite in his own direction and simpered a bit before telling, “Karan, I am sorry too. I feel I should have given you but more space and then initiated something.” Karan smiled and feeded her another morsel.

“Tumhe bhi gussa aaya hoga na?” Karan asked before having a bite, which was again turned in his direction.

(You must've felt angry too, right?)

“No.” Monami shook her head before gently squeezing his wrist after he had his bite and continuing,“I know you were angry aur gusse mein toh insaan ko khud ko pata nahi chalta ki woh kya keh raha hai. I won’t say it’s okay, because it was indeed very hurtful but let bygones be bygones. I am not angry. Yes, I was upset back then but I could not continue with that mood with your sincere apology and a ridiculous attempt of making a puppy face.” Monami pulled Karan’s nose slightly while speaking her last set of words.

(And as it is, we do not have any control over what we speak when we are angry.)

Karan was a bit effusive when Monami pulled his nose but he still managed to say, “I’m glad you aren’t upset with me. Oh and please it was not a puppy face.” He went all defensive as he tried to push back the fact that he indeed made a puppy face.

The night passed with them getting busy in their own world, which was filled with his mirth in teasing her, her little smacks and their endless moments of togetherness. They also made a rule that no matter how big the argument is, they would never go back to sleep with their backs to each other, and not even talking about it. It might not be sorted in a day, but they would always have a talk, with an open mind.

Just like this, almost 2 days passed and it was around 11: 45 in the night of 15th April. In about 15 minutes, it was Karan’s birthday. Monami was in kitchen preparing for the last minute things and after placing them in a certain order, she went on the dining table before doing a certain things and then she went in the room sneakily, to grab her laptop and turned it on. She turned on the zoom and after greeting all the people she said, “Guys, just give me 10 minutes and then I’ll connect you all.”

Monami knew Karan won’t let her wander out, without asking a proper questionnaire so she smartly asked Faizi to give him a call around 10:30 and keep him busy.

She then quickly went in the washroom to clean up a little and groom her face at least. Her phone beeped, indicating its 11:59 already and so she hurried outside only to bump into Karan who was about to knock on the door. Karan just looked at her, raising his eyebrows to which she shook her head with a smile and then her eyes again drifted to phone in her hand the clock showed the 12:00, embarking a new day.

Monami took a step forward and cupped Karan’s cheeks, pulling him down. She dropped an affectionate kiss on his forehead and pulled away. She continued to brush his cheeks with her thumb as she said, “Kaptaan Sahab, tuhanu janamdin di lakh lakh vadhaiyan.” Saying so, she briefly kissed on his cheeks.

(A very happy birthday to you, -Kaptaan Sahab.)

Karan was bewildered in a very pleasant manner with the way his wife not only managed to surprise him with a sudden wish but also in his mother tongue. He could not even find a mistake in the way she spoke. Punjabi suits her.

After coming back on earth, when he felt her lips gently meet his bearded cheek, he garlanded his arms around Monami’s waist and held her in a hug. “Aapne Ghana Ghana dhanyawaad, binani baisa.”

(Thank you very much, my wife.)

Well, if Karan was surprised at her wish, Monami was equally astonished to hear him thank her in her mother tongue, Marwari. He sounds cute; she thought but then quickly disregarded the thought as she knew that they have a number of people who’d be waiting to wish him.

Monami pulled back and kept turned Karan, in the direction of the gate of their room and then placed her palm on his eyes to conceal his vision and said, “Come on!”

Karan too, swiftly held her wrist from his one hand and moved his free hand in the air which his wife made no delay in grabbing and then allowed her to lead them.

Once outside their room, Monami asked Karan to wait, making him hold the chair and then she took a step or two to fetch her laptop and turned on the zoom meet and soon she could see everyone on the screen. She arranged it in the way wherein the screen and he was face to face and then she stood next to him and gestured on the screen.

“Happy birthdayyyy.” Karan flinched at this sudden excited squeal and his eyes flew open. He took a couple of seconds to register what just happened. He gaze travelled from his wife to the screen and then to the table, which was decorated with a beautiful and a simple cake and some flowers, along with a few candles, for two times as if he was not at all expecting this.

“Arrey Khotteya, tera he janamdin hai, aise kya dekh raha hai.” Atul scoffed in mockery making everyone guffaw and Karan frown.

(It’s your birthday only, you brat! What are you looking at?)

“Kya papa, aaj bhi khotteya? Also, I was just surprised witnessing all of you here.” Karan was first whining about being addressed as a Khotteya and then his voice turned a bit heavy. He was missing all of them.

(It’s not fair papa, I’m being called a brat even today.)

“Accha toh tu kya sirf Monami ke saath he manana chahta tha kya? Tu kahe toh hum chale jaate hain.” Faizi could clearly see his best friend getting a bit emotional, so he as a dutiful friend changed the topic by teasing him.

(Oh, so you wanted to celebrate with Monami only? Shall we all go then?)

“Yes, that would be right, Faizi. Hum toh fizool mein he itna jag rahe thhe.” Param too teamed up with Faizi and cornered Karan before he could speak anything in his defence.

(It was waste to stay up till now.)

“Yaar, aisa kuch bhi nahi hai. Aur abhi thodi der pehle tak toh tu mujhse baat kar raha tha na. I did not even get a hint.” Karan whined not liking being the centre of the teasing attentionand then wondered.

(It’s nothing like that. Moreover, you were talking to me, until a few minutes back.)

“Ab hum toh Hain he kamaal ke.” Faizi cockily said.

(Hah, I'm great, as it is.)

“Aur tum Bina kaam ke.” Param added, and the teasing Karan duo laughed, making the said guy grumble.

( And you're useless.)

Param and Faizi got a smack from Barkha and Zeenat respectively, making the birthday boy laugh in smugness. “Bas karo tum dono, aaj mere bacche ko pareshaan mat karo.” Zeenat softly chided.

(Stop it you two, don’t trouble my child like this today.)

“Karan, chalo beta ab cake bhi kaato.” Juhi said.

(Karan cut the cake, son.)

Karan happily cut the home made cake amidst the birthday song and happily fed Monami, and then taking it in front of the screen as a gesture for them to eat.

“Yeh dekho chachu, maine aapke liye card bhi banaya. Jab aap aaoge na tab dungi main.” Baby chirped.

(Look at this chachu, I made a card for you. I’ll give it to you when you’ll come back.)

“This is so beautiful. Thank you, mera baccha.” Karan smiled fondly.

(Thank you, my kiddo.)

Not late than a couple of minutes, they all hung up. Karan and Monami stood in silence, with the former wiping his fingers clean with the tissues. He stepped closer to his wife, invading her personal space and then sweetly held her close in his warmth, before she could turn, making her back touch his chest. He peppered a few small pecks on her temple and then started swaying them, after whispering a Thank You.

When Karan felt Monami tightening her arms around his, that were on her belly, he too adjusted his frame a bit and then tilted his head and placed his lips on her ear, his breath hitting on her skin and his lips touching her ear shell with each syllable he, as he mumbled, “Aap toh bilkul chhupi rustom nikli, Mrs. Shergill.”

(You’re so secretive, Mrs. Shergill.)

Monami’s pulse rate went frenzy at this sudden gesture and her lips parted with a new sensation, letting out a small moan. Feeling more courageous, Karan swiftly tugged on her waist and turned her. He pulled her a little up, making her stand on his feet. Monami snuggled a bit more in his neck and wrapped her arms around neck which in turn resulted in her deep breaths whispering against his sensitive spot and also, it raised her tee in the process making her naked skin exposed to air and Karan’s palm.

Karan gently stroked her waist from his right palm as his left protectively cupped the back of her head. After a few minutes of their closeness, he gently loosened his hold, sensing both of them are calm enough now. He placed a long kiss on her forehead as they both pulled away. Karan’s heart yet again did a summersault with the wife his wife blushed, like an untouched rose.

Their moment was interrupted with the ring of Karan’s mobile and somewhere they both were thankful. Exchanging comforting smiles, Monami nodded at him in understanding and then went in to place back the things in kitchen and Karan went in the room to attend the call.

Monami and Karan, they both were attached to each other with a knot of matrimony but gradually, with a lot of tenderness, they were also fastening the knots of care, respect, affection, trust and somewhere they had taken their steps in the direction of Love too. Kyuki, pyaar sirf ek shabd ya ek ehsaas nahi hota. Pyaar toh woh chote chote jasbaat hota hai, jinhe aap keh kar nahi balki kar kar bayaan karte ho.

(It’s because love is not merely a word, or a feeling. Love is about all those little little emotions which you convey not by voicing them out, but by doing them.)

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4.7k+ words.

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Nehal.