Kozume Kenma [孤爪 研磨]

He may look like he is not, but he is observant. Too observant that he notices things easily. 

He hates that he easily catch things fast and he knew everyone would want to be observant. But he doesn't, that's why he focuses more on playing console games, to divert his attention from anything, from anyone. 

He thought it would help him, but he was wrong. And at the age of 15, he learned something that could change his life, drastically. 

He knows who his soulmate is, he thinks. 

He wasn't expecting to find his soulmate at such a young age but he could say he saw it accidentally, or maybe it was because he was too observant. 

It was two months ago or something, just before he enters as a first-year student in Nekoma when his cat, Yuna, started growing up and scratched him on his arms and legs out of nowhere. Some were light scratches but the scratch on his right bicep was kind of deep that it could leave a permanent scar on him and his soulmate.

He believes in soulmates, especially when he sees his soulmark etched on his skin like a big reminder that there's someone destined for him.

But he's not that interested, he believes it would be better to focus on the present than worrying for the future since he's bound to meet the person at one point in his life. Even his parents who live at the opposite ends of Japan have found each other.

He's still young, he always thinks. That's why playing video games and volleyball are his top priorities before going on crucial things like love and work. 

'And as if somebody would like me truly. With my attitude and lack of social skills, no one would even give a second glance towards me, not even whoever my soulmate is. Not even him,' he always thought. 

But his confusions start when he saw Kuroo's right arm with the same deep scratch as he has. He spends his time mostly with Kuroo, and the same with the latter, and he could not remember Kuroo being scratched. 

Kuroo doesn't even have a cat since the black-haired guy treats Yuna like his. And he would have known if Yuna has scratched Kuroo before. Kuroo would also tell him if he got injured or even the smallest scratch he got, that's just how Kuroo open to him.

As they were playing video games, him being on the bed while Kuroo lounging on his floor, he suddenly noticed the light scratch on Kuroo's right bicep since the guy was wearing sleeveless. 

He stared intently to the point that he didn't notice he lost and Kuroo was cheering for his win. "Ha! I told you I can beat you Kenma! Huh? Who's the sore loser now?" He heard Kuroo bantered but nothing else could sway him as the scratch on Kuroo's arm started looking like an enigma to him. 

"You need to attend the summer classes, Kenma. I feel bad, really but it could benefit you! I think this is not a win-win, though. I would still buy you  that video game-- Kenma? Kenma?" He shook his head as he realized Kuroo was calling him. 

Kuroo frowned at him. "Are you okay? Is losing on the bet you made upsets you that much?" Kuroo chided to which he deadpanned. "It's nothing, I spaced out for some minutes." He muttered and looked away. He knew Kuroo wanted to ask more but the man grinned annoyingly as he continued bragging, even calling Bokuto on the phone. 

He looked at his right bicep and held it tight to cover the scratch. He needed to be convinced more.  

Three days have passed after seeing Kuroo's identical scratch and he convinced himself it was not coincidental because the scratch was from him, and it's too identical when he saw it closely when he walked beside Kuroo yesterday. 

And he felt scared, to the slightest. He felt scared because what if Kuroo knew and doesn't like him as his soulmate? Would he be able to lose the only person he trusted the most? 

He doesn't have a lot of friends to start with and he only has Kuroo who stayed beside him since they were young. He wasn't good at making friends and if it weren't for Kuroo, he would be lonely until now. 

Not having Kuroo in his last year of middle school was kind of chaotic already, what more if Kuroo decided to leave him because he couldn't like him like that? 

Gender was not an issue, it was kind of expected by the society to have circumstances where your soulmate is the same sexual orientation as yours. It was him who is the issue, his destructive self.  

He knew that even if Kuroo knew and if he decided to stay by his side, it was out of pity from their friendship, not because of love and he doesn't want that. 

He doesn't want to be selfish to the man he always cared about, he always looked up, he always loved since he could remember. Being Kuroo's friend was too much already, he doesn't want to drag Kuroo with his wallows and desires. 

He wasn't sure how Kuroo views this soulmate thing. But he was sure Kuroo was taking care of his body properly because of that. He observed the guy how he avoids injuring himself from volleyball as much as possible. 

Despite being together almost every day, they never talked about soulmates. He wasn't that interested before and Kuroo mostly focuses on volleyball. He doesn't even know the preference of Kuroo on his soulmate. If he were to be asked, he would answer a person who's like Kuroo but he would never let that out. 

He realized he loves Kuroo even before the knowledge of him being his soulmate. 

He wanted Kuroo to find a love he truly deserves, a love so beautiful unlike him who's pitiful.

And he's willing to take the risk of hiding the truth from the black-haired guy. 

---

Having the summer art class Kuroo and his mother forced him into was kind of exhausting but refreshing at the same time.

He was annoyed because he won't be able to play his video games freely and that some of the people in his class were noisy which reminds him of Bokuto who Kuroo befriended from the summer camp.

Fortunately, he has a one-of-a-kind seatmate who's rather peaceful and quiet. If it wasn't for the force introduction the instructor has made, he wouldn't be able to know his seatmate's name and befriend him.

Akaashi Keiji was a kind person, he just looks intimidating and cold at first but he was polite and earnest. He also sees how amazing Akaashi's paintings were and sometimes, he wanted to decode the meaning behind the guy's paintings. 

But something caught him off-guard in one of their classes. Their instructor has told them to create a symbolism about the idea of soulmates.

He stared at his blank device, with swirling ideas in his mind but all lead to one guy named Kuroo Tetsurou. 

He looked at Akaashi's work, hoping to get some ideas with the brilliant art the guy has made but he wasn't expecting to see a blank canvas beside him. 

He turned to Akaashi who's staring blankly as well, with his fist curled on his paintbrush as if the guy could break it anytime. 

"Akaashi-kun." He called which called the attention of his seatmate. "Kenma-san?" Akaashi looked at him calmly but Kenma knew better. 

"Is something wrong?" He asked. Akaashi stared at him for a while then sighed. "I... can't paint about soulmates. I don't believe in them." He heard Akaashi muttered. 

"Why?" He doesn't want to sound nosy but he couldn't sit still and let the topic go, especially when he sees someone he considers a friend in this kind of state. 

"It's kind of personal. But I just don't believe in something that is... fickle. Even if you have your soulmate, even if you got together with your soulmate, it doesn't mean that person would stay. You just got this soulmarks that connect you two, yes you may feel something at first, but not all things last. You don't have the reassurance that that kind of love lasts forever and anything could change in a blink of an eye." He saw Akaashi muttered as he stared at the blank canvas in front of him. 

He was speechless but he couldn't say Akaashi was wrong. That's the reason why he wanted to hide the truth from Kuroo. He couldn't bear the thought of Kuroo leaving him and him being lonely again. And he feels that Akaashi had experienced somewhat inclined to that, that someone has made him feel like this to the point that he doesn't believe in soulmates. 

"Have you met your soulmate?" He asked. He saw Akaashi shook his head. "I am not intending to do so. But it is inevitable to meet the person one way or another." Akaashi answered. "Have you?" His seatmate added. He shook his head. 

"Don't get me wrong. I do believe in love, just not with the idea of soulmates. If I were to be given a chance, I would like to love someone in my own will, not because he or she is my soulmate but because I truly feel something for the person and that person feels the same." Akaashi added. 

That was the longest conversation Akaashi talked to him but it was kind of refreshing. He looked at Akaashi who was still contemplating what to draw. He looked back to his device and sighed. Until something clicked on his mind. 

"Why don't you draw some symbolism that incorporates the way you feel when you're in love? Don't think about soulmates, think of falling in love." He suggested. Akaashi looks down as if he was thinking and turned to him with a small smile on his face. 

"Thank you for the suggestion, Kenma-san. I think I know what to draw. How about you?" Akaashi asked him. He looked back at his device and looked at the wallpaper with a small smile on his face. It was a picture of him and Kuroo on their childhood days. 

"I'll do the same." And he opened his app and started with the color black. 

He somehow understood what Akaashi feels towards soulmates, because he'll rather choose the idea of falling in love with someone he really likes without thinking about soulmates. 

And he was just lucky that his soulmate is someone he fell in love with.

---

i felt like writing kenma's side tonight

and i decided to split into two
so expect the next chapter to be Kenma's again 
bcos it's too long idk why 

p.s.
[ school term is not over but i managed
to finish 2 out of 4 research papers
but i still need to finish my finals this week ]

[ it's currently our last & 10th "hell" week
pls forgive me for some mistakes ]

                                                                               ─=≡Σ((( つ＞＜)つ

thank u for reading 💕 
tell me ur thoughts abt kenma's side ^^