𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 12
3𝐫𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐯

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Colby
I'm so happy you messaged me
I was actually thinking... maybe we could meet up and talk?

        — JASPER STARED DOWN AT HIS PHONE, stunned by what he was seeing without real rhyme or reason. He didn't expect Colby to ignore him, let alone respond unkindly, although he may deserve it, he knew that just wasn't in Colby's nature. Still, he didn't expect this...

He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. All he's wanted since they split ways was to see him again and yet, now, with the opportunity before him, he's left paralyzed in fear. He shouldn't be scared, he tells himself incredulously because he wanted this and beyond that, he knows Colby. But, of course, this does not stop his anxiety, because anxiety often doesn't listen to reason or anything really. His hands clenched and he realized with a startled jerky movement that he had dropped his phone without even realizing it. He stumbled to grab his phone in a rush and with it in his grasp, he shook his head and forced himself to type two seemingly simple words.

Jasper
Sounds great

With this done, he collapsed back onto the couch with a sigh. He closed his eyes and settled with the idea that while his anxiety may not like it, he would be seeing Colby soon, and that filled him with a strange feeling of excitement mixed with fear. Soon, he was sure he'd be in front of him again, drowning in those blue eyes. He blinked. Soon...

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊

         THE sounds of the local coffee shop Colby had recommended strained Jasper's ears. He fidgeted with the sleeve of his shirt while mindlessly watching the people who bustled around the coffee shop.

He was waiting for his coffee now. More importantly, he was waiting for Colby to arrive. Not that he was late, but rather that Jasper was early. He had thought it might give him a chance to sit and take a deep breath, calm his nerves before he met those blue eyes again. Instead, it's only managed to worsen his anxiety as he waits, the sounds of the coffee shop mixing with the increasingly loud drum of his heartbeat in his ears. At some point, he had moved out of the way and sat down at a table where he began to drum his fingers absentmindedly.

"You still do that?" A voice asked causing him to jump.

"Colby." He said breathlessly as he turned to face the man with blue eyes. He was dressed more casually today than he had been while on the trip, in a simple dark tee shirt and a pair of jeans paired with black boots.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He cleared his throat and sat down in front of him, glancing at his fingers on the table, "You still drum your fingers when you're nervous?" He asked again.

Jasper nodded his head in a sequence of jerky moves with a blush rising to his cheeks, "You remember that?" He responded, memories of him drumming his fingers when he was younger sprung to mind, how Colby would grab his hand and trace shapes on his palm to calm him down or give him his rings to play with instead. He missed those days...

Colby reached forward and then paused, chewing on his lip before he spoke, "Can I?" Jasper wasn't sure what he meant but nodded nonetheless, he reached forward, grabbed his hand, he traced shapes on it. A square, a triangle... a heart. He smiled softly, "I missed this." He admitted, glancing up, "I missed you."

Jasper stared at him, unable to tear his gaze away, or speak, or even think. He breathed shakily and found himself leaning closer without thinking, squeezing Colby's hand, cold from the rings on his fingers. He heard giggling nearby and instinctively looked up to check his surroundings. He inhaled sharply as he found a group of young girls staring at them, multiple had their phones out, their cameras pointed at him. He tore his gaze and then yanked his hand out of Colby's grasp, "You wanted to talk?" He asked shakily.

He nodded in response, glancing around before he replied, "Why don't we go somewhere else first?" He suggested, Jasper hurriedly nodded and rushed to stand.

"My apartment's a few minutes away." Jasper choked out, stumbling out of the Starbucks in a panicked state.

Colby frowned, reaching out he grabbed his hand again to steady him, "This okay?" He asked quietly, once Jasper nodded in confirmation, he smiled and tightened his grasp, "Lead the way then baby blue." The nickname flowed off his tongue before he could stop it, he glanced away in fear. Baby blue had been a nickname he'd come up with in the dark hours of the night, one he'd whispered when they danced in the shadows, something only for them or well it used to be. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Jasper seemed to have caught his breath now as they walked to his apartment, his shoulders relaxed and his grip on Colby's hand a comforting presence, "I actually missed it." He found himself admitting softly. Colby openly stared at him a fond expression mixed with surprise. He looked away with a blush rising to his cheeks and continued walking the rest of the way in silence.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊

         "WE'RE HERE." Colby took a second to understand what he meant, nodding as he followed him into the building. "This is it." Jasper said as he opened the door, allowing him in.

Finally, Colby released his hand and entered his apartment. He looked around, studying his new surroundings before his eyes landed on a picture hung on the wall, he froze in place, and his breath caught in his throat. "You kept it." He managed to choke out, his eyes still caught on the photo but his mind was elsewhere.

Jasper looked away from where he was looking around his apartment and found what Colby was staring at. His breath caught in his throat too now. He hadn't thought anything of it when he hung it up, or when he invited Colby over. There were only two people who knew the story behind it... and they're in this room now.

In the picture was Jasper as a teen, his hair left in his natural light brown color however the glasses he wore till he was nineteen were nowhere to be found. He had a wide smile on his face as he reached for the person holding the camera. Nobody but him knew that Colby was behind the camera, holding his glasses hostage with a grin. Nobody but them knew that after the picture was taken, Jasper grabbed the phone and his glasses in one fell swoop, before tossing them aside carelessly (his glasses still had scratches from this though he found he didn't mind them) he remembered the way he kissed Colby in that moment, full of passion and childish love, remembered how Colby pulled him into his arms and held him after, kissing him until they were both breathless and filled with glee — one of the few moments they didn't care if anyone saw and were just able to be young and in love.

"Of course I did." He responded without thinking. Their eyes met. He didn't regret the words that escaped. Not when Colby looked at him like that in return, like no time had passed and they were still young and in love like they were back then.

Then, Colby tore his eyes away as they welled with tears, he cleared his throat, "Your boyfriend doesn't mind?"

"Boyfriend?" He asked confused and then remembered the spectacle that had become of him and Ethan. His ex. He blinked slowly as if just realizing his breakup hadn't been public, nobody knew that he and the man in the picture were no longer together. Not even Colby.

"Colby, I-"

"It's fine, Jasper." He responded with a smile that did nothing to hide the pain behind his eyes.

"No," he shook his head, "It's not. Colby, Ethan— he and I aren't together anymore." Colby met his gaze and he suddenly felt nervous, shuffling on his feet he cleared his throat, "We broke up before the pictures of us went public."

Colby blinked slowly in realization, pain from before mixing with an array of emotions from confusion to hope. He breathed shakily, "Oh." Not knowing how else to react, he turned back to the pictures on the wall, continuing to study them. His eyes landed on another taken when Jasper was a teen, he was in front of a house with his family, and their family dog sat on his lap as they all sat on the steps. "That's not your old house." He noted aloud.

"No, it's the house we moved to," Colby glanced at him and he trailed off, finally, gaining his composure, he managed to choke out one last word, "After." The single word weighed heavy with its various meanings. After he left. After them. After everything, after, after...

"Why..." Colby began, the words escaping before he could stop them, "Why did you move?" Why did you leave, he wanted to ask but thought that sounded accusatory. It wasn't Jasper's choice, that he knew, what he didn't know was why it happened the way it did. Why he didn't even get a goodbye?

Jasper doesn't say a word, stepping away from the photos on the wall and thus away from Colby. "You wanted to talk, didn't you?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

Colby nodded hurriedly, opening his mouth to speak when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He apologized and pulled it out to check, hoping it would be nothing so he could toss it away and focus on Jasper, instead, he found himself cursing under his breath. "Shit. Jasper, I'm so sorry." He apologized, meeting his gaze with a guilty expression.

"You have to leave." Jasper stated simply, he nodded in return. Jasper forced a smile, "It's okay. Not like we won't see each other again. We can talk another time."

He nodded in agreement but still, Colby worried. Worried that the time for them to talk would never come, worried that just like when they were teenagers, he would walk away and never see Jasper again. "See you soon?" He managed to choke out weakly.

Jasper nodded, approaching him before taking a step back at the last minute, like he wanted to do something but realized he couldn't. Instead, he spoke a promise for the future, "See you soon."

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊

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