F O U R

I wonder why I'm so afraid of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint.

      LUKE PICKED UP HIS GUITAR from the floor. He felt confused as he sat down on his chair, staring at the empty room which was visible from his room.

Peyton was working at the coffee shop right now, so their crazy Sunday would have to wait until the end of her shift. He was fine with it, even though he wished for it to end quickly so he could spend time with her.

He turned the chair for it to face his desk, grabbing one of the pens in his Dodgers mug and opening his songbook on a new page, the possibilities of a new song appearing in front of him.

What should he write about?

Peyton.

No, he can't write about her. She would immediately know. He couldn't take any chances. He didn't want to take any chances.

Actually, he did want to. For a moment he imagined Peyton's reaction while listening to him sing to her the lyrics he wrote about how much he likes her. For a moment he imagined that exact situation, but agreed that it would end in disaster, that the consequences were to big for the bit of adrenaline it would give him.

So... what should he write about? He's written so many songs about his personal struggle that they have become his own personal mark. Like Taylor Swift has storytelling, he had struggle songs.

He didn't recall any recent love song.

He could make up a hypothetical girl, but that wouldn't sound as realistic as if it was about a real girl, but his love experience wasn't as extended as he seemed it to be.

There was just one girl in his mind and it was Peyton, and that freaked him out.

He has been crazy for her since the moment she first appeared in that window. They were just kids but he knew back then, that he wanted her in his life.

So many things have happened since and he doesn't know if he should do something about this one sided love he was experiencing. Or if he should stay quiet.

And there you have a song. As simple as that.

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Luke arrived to the coffee shop just to see Alex and Reggie laying on the floor of the stage, setting a depressing mood on the cafeteria which wasn't even opened, yet still if it was, nobody would enter due to the lack of energy in the place.

"I know, nothing worst than a cafeteria at eleven am on a Sunday," said the owner of the cafeteria, Amanda, as he saw him enter, "this is how it looks like a bar at eleven am. What can I get you, Luke?"

"I'm going to see if the guys are alive," he let her know before walking towards the guys, clapping his hands and making them snap out of their thoughts. "I have a new song."

Alex and Reggie sat down on the edge of the stage while Luke sat on a chair, pulling out his acoustic from its case.

"It's called Wonder."

"Like the chocolate factory?" Asked Reggie.

"That's called Wonka, Regs, so no. Just listen."

As he started to play, Peyton appeared from the kitchen towards the counter, looking at the guys curiously.

"I wonder if I'm being real. Do I speak my truth or do I filter how I feel? I wonder, wouldn't it be nice to live inside a world that isn't black and white? I wonder what it's like to be my friends. Hope that they don't think I forget about them. I wonder, I wonder."

Peyton put down the rag on her hand to listen to his best friend, and so did the rest of the clients, who were curious about this song.

"Right before I close my eyes, the only thing that's on my mind. Been dreaming that you feel it too. I wonder what it's like to be loved by you, yeah... I wonder what it's like... I wonder what it's like to be loved by you..."

Alex and Reggie were surprised. Luke wasn't a love song type of guy. This was new.

"I wonder why I'm so afraid of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint. I wonder, when I cry into my hands, I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man. And I wonder if someday you'll be by my side, and tell me that the world will end up alright. I wonder, I wonder."

"Wow," whispered Amanda to Peyton's ear. "I've met him for three years, never knew he could write that song."

"Me neither..." murmured Peyton more to herself, staring at her best friend.

"Right before I close my eyes, the only thing that's on my mind. Been dreaming that you feel it too. I wonder what it's like to be loved by you, yeah... I wonder what it's like... I wonder what it's like to be loved by you. I wonder what it's like to be loved by you, yeah... I wonder what it's like to be loved by you. I wonder what it's like to be loved by... Right before I close my eyes, the only thing that's on my mind. Been dreaming that you feel it too. I wonder what it's like to be loved by you."

As he finished playing, the few clients and workers started applauding, making Luke blush. He didn't turn around to look at Peyton, maybe he didn't even know she was there, yet still, he was really nervous.

"So? You guys like it?" He asked to his best friends, putting his guitar to the side as he stared at them. "I wrote it in like five minutes so still needs some adjustments."

"No, Luke, it's perfect," interrupted him Alex. "I'm still astonished by it. You've never written something like this before."

"Yeah," agreed Reggie, "whole different style. You really spoke from the heart, man."

Luke exhaled, glad that Reggie mentioned that.

"I felt like I haven't used music as the resource is supposed to be. I've had this feelings for so long and kept them inside instead of sharing them through music as I should've done from the beginning. I don't know, if just feels right."

"Well, and the fact that it is indeed a love song."

"It has a love part, yes, but it also mentions self struggle, and wondering if you are good enough, if what you are doing is right. I've had those feelings practically all my life. About my career choices, my family relationships... my love life." He chuckled. "Which is, I have to admit, kinda not existent at this precise moment."

"Please, Luke," said Reggie. "You have an amazing love life."

"I'm not sure you can call it amazing."

The guys had no clue about his crush on Peyton, and neither would he tell them. He rather jump off a bridge than having Alex and Reggie giving him love advices.

"Ok, I'm gonna set my drums and we can practice the song. Maybe we can play it tonight, don't you think?" Luke and Reggie nodded to Alex suggestion. The blond stood up, walking towards his instrument, while Luke approached Reggie.

"Hey, Reg, what do you think of Ella?" He asked him, and he raised his eyebrows.

"Peyton's sister? I don't know... what about her?"

"Do you like her?"

"She's smart, and pretty," he said, looking at his bass. "Whatever."

"You should ask her out, you know? Maybe like John Cusack in Say Anything, with a Boombox outside her house. What do you think?"

"Why are you so interested?" He asked him.

"I don't know, I mean, you are single, she's single. Why don't you try it?"

Reggie nodded, running his hand through his hair.

"You make some good points, man."

"I'm aware," he said as he saw him stand up. Luke raised his eyebrows when he left the bass guitar on the floor. "What are you doing?"

"Oh she's studying over there, I'm gonna go ask her out."

"Wait wait..." Luke stood up. "Just like that? You don't want to clarify your feelings first? Or look at the different scenarios? Even think about it for a few seconds?"

"Why? It's only going to create doubts in my head. It's just a date, calm down." Reggie chuckled before walking towards Ella's table. Luke turned around, staring at his best friend as he asked the girl out, and seeing how Ella was smiling at him.

Luke glanced over to where Peyton was. She was cleaning one of the tables on the right side of the coffee shop, minding her own business.

Should I just go? He asked to himself before slowly walking towards her. She smiled when he appeared next to her.

"Hey Luke..."

"Hey, Tay," he said. "I was... wondering... if you would like to go... if you would like to hang out with me?" That went terrible.

"Isn't that what we are doing today, Luke?" She asked, walking towards the counter again, him following her.

"Yeah, but I mean like... I just... I was thinking... uhm..." He stared at his fingers. "If you would go out with me?"

She looked at him for a few seconds before chuckling, and that made Luke stared at her confused. She was laughing? Did he say something funny?

"What? Like on a date? Good one, Patterson." Ah shit...

"What?" His voice came out really high, he was clearly nervous. "A date? Pfff... no, of course not. I mean, like going out like friends, obviously. Don't flatter yourself, Swan."

"Ok," she chuckled, "where?"

"Maybe on Friday we could go to the movies after school, since today we have full schedule."

"Alright, count me in." He nodded. "Sure that this isn't a date?"

"A hundred percent. Just two friends. We'll be Sid and Nancy!"

"You mean Sex Pistols' Sid and Nancy? They were a couple. They fought all the time. And Nancy ended up dead. So did Sid."

"Yeah, but before that, when they were friends..."

"I don't think they were even friends before..."

"The never mind," he interrupted, nervously. "So, movies on Friday?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "Hey, I loved your new song, by the way."

He opened his eyes. Oh, she heard the song. Well, he didn't know she was even hearing it.

"I'm glad you liked it," he admitted with a tiny smile. "I'm gonna go rehearse with the band. We will perform tonight."

"Right, of course. What do you have planned for crazy Sunday?"

"I was thinking of watching Almost Famous on the projector outside your backyard with everyone."

She smiled, "I like the idea. But let's watch Jerry McGuire instead." Luke nodded.

"Your orders, boss. I'll go buy food after rehearsal and we will set up the proyector." She smirked before going to attend the clients that just arrived. Luke licked his lips before walking towards Alex and Reggie, being interrupted by Ella, who scared him. "God! How do you walk so silently?"

"Reggie just asked me out."

"I know, I told you I would do my part of the job."

Ella looked at him for a few seconds, crossing her arms.

"You asked Peyton out and she said no, didn't you?"

"How on Earth do you know that? It happened like five seconds ago? Who are you? Inspector Gadget?"

"You need to play the long game, Patterson."

"The what now?" He asked as she grabbed her cup and sip a little bit of coffee.

"Let me handle it, don't rush it, ok?"

"Said every villain in every movie ever," he whispered to himself as Ella walked away. "God, she's scary. Freddy Krueger scary."

POP CULTURE REFERENCES GUIDE

chapter 4

"Grabbing one of the pens in his Dodgers' mug."
Los Angeles Dodgers are an American professional team from Los Angeles, California. They have won six World Series and twenty four National League pennants.
Fun fact: Luke uses the mug as a pen holder because his team are the New York Jets but Julie have him the mug so he couldn't throw it away.

"It's called Wonder." "Like the chocolate factory?" "That's Wonka, Regs, so no."
Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory is a fictional chocolate factory from the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) based from Roald Dahl's book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The story is about a poor child named Charlie who, after finding the Golden Ticket, gets the chance to visit Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory with four other children.

"You should ask her out, you know? Maybe like John Cusack in Say Anything, with a boombox outside her house."
The scene Luke is talking about is a classic scene from the movie Say Anything (1989) starring John Cusack and Ione Skye, where Cusack's character stands outside Skye's character's house with a boombox playing In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel.

"Just two friends. We'll be Sid and Nancy."
Sid and Nancy is a 1986 biographical movie starring Gary Oldman portraying Sid Vicious, the bassist of the famous band Sex Pistols, and his troubled girlfriend Nancy Spungen, who was a groupie of the band, portrayed by Chloe Webb. The couple is known for their involvement in drugs and constant fights, but being crazy in love.

"I was thinking of watching Almost Famous on the projector."
Almost Famous is a 2000 American comedy-drama directed by Cameron Crowe, starring Kate Hudson, Patrick Fugit and Billy Crudup. It is based on Cameron Crowe's own experienced touring with rock bands, and how during this period he lost his virginity, fell in love and met his musical heroes, all of this happening to Fugit's character.

"I like the idea, but let's watch Jerry Maguire instead."
Jerry Maguire is a 1996 American rom-com drama sports film produced and directed by Cameron Crowe, starring Tom Cruise. Peyton suggests this movie since it's written and produced by the same director of Almost Famous.

"Who are you? Inspector Gadget?"
Inspector Gadget is the main character of the media franchise that started in 1983 with the tv series Inspector Gadget. The franchise follows the adventures of police inspector named Gadget as he investigates the criminal schemes of Dr. Claw and his organization, M.A.D. Gadget is a cyborg with thousands of high-tech gadgets installed in his body, that's the origin of his name.

"God, she's scary. Freddy Krueger scary."
Freddy Krueger is a fictional character known for the  A Nightmare in Elm Street film series, created by Wes Craven. He is the spirit of a serial killer who used a gloved hand with razors to kill his victims in their dreams. He is rated as the 14th-greatest-villain of all time.