|| 삼십칠 ||
❝ . . . ❞

'What did this man just say? Was he delusional?' You thought tilting your head slightly

" that's impossible" you almost crack out as Kaeya also tilts his head at you, crossing his arms

"  he likes Jean" you whisper so you didn't sound like you were ratting him out. Kaeya was his brother after all so shouldn't he know? Either way Kaeya insisted Dilucs crush on you 

" seriously...Jean?" Kaeya clicks his tongue, almost laughing as you nod hesitantly

" she's with Lisa!" Kaeya almost shouted like it was obvious, the message not getting to you

" no...she...well I mean- Diluc could never like me because he rejected me years ago" you laugh thinking Kaeya was just joking

"...fine think what you want, I'm trying to be honest here" Kaeya patted your shoulder before walking away after taking a big sigh

You bite your lip nervously, Diluc liking you? That idea was absurd. But either way that conversation was short lived and you couldn't help but want to hear more

To you Diluc hadn't given a single clue about his feelings to you  and the whole idea would ruin your friendship as you had known him for so long and it would make things more awkward

" why is this happening to me." You thought about Zhongli. Like at least you weren't close with him was what you told yourself making your overthinking worse

" [y/n]...?" Someone taps your shoulder as you slightly jumped, turning around to gaze at them

" they are starting training again, shall we go? Grab lunch with the others?" Ayaka smiled brightly, her happiness demure making your worries somehow turn out to be just 'overthinking' that hopefully, wasn't true

" thank you"

" huh for what [y/n]?"  Ayaka stopped to look at your facial expressions

" oh nothing" you play it off walking out the training grounds with her

" ...okay" Ayaka looked around a bit worried as Mona and Zhongli slowly followed

Walking out you notice a figure behind a wall in the distance and as you got closer, the more clearer the figure became

" Diluc! Where were you" Zhongli pointed out as he saw Diluc hiding behind a wall

" I um..needed air" Diluc excused making a quick glance at you

You caught his eye and looked away embarrassingly after your new discovery on him. 'No way he liked you, he looks so uninterested.' Those words replayed in your mind as reassurance

" well guys let's grab lunch" Ayaka sensed the sudden drop in temperature and tension and shooed you forward

" finally! My stomach has been rumbling for ages!" Mona whined fairly loudly as she covered her aching stomach

L A T E R

Your feet tap on the floor rapidly as the clock ticked late at night

It was past 11pm and you were heavily worried as a pressure loomed on your shoulders

It was late but you wanted to wait for Childe whom had ate dinner with his friends

The images that displayed on the dimmed tv screen made your eyes flutter as the apartment lights were turned off

" forecasts read that this week will have a heavy chance of rain" the late night board caster read out

You yawned as your eyes took longer blinks, before eventually your body relaxed and you slept right there on the couch

Once you opened your eyes again you were in a field with flowers surrounding your feet. It looked like a oasis with pink and white flowers at your every step

You'd almost mistake it for heaven or a haven as It felt so unreal which indicated you were dreaming

" [y/n]" you heard a voice you hadn't heard in years

" ..." you couldn't respond as you turned around, your words crumbling in your mind 

" Yun Jin...?" You murmur as you see your long lost friend staring back at you.

She was there. She was really there right in front of you.

" it's me! How have you been" your friend opened her arms, inviting you into them

" Yun Jin!" You run in the fields without hesitation, the flowers restricting you from running faster

Your throat became dry, as you grasp for air, the path to your dear friend getting longer and longer, every step feeling like you were stepping on knifes.

Before you knew it, within an blink of a eye, she appeared in front of you

" I Missed You" you cry in her shoulder as you reached her, embracing her tightly, holding her tightly enough so she wouldn't disappear

" [y/n]...please...forget me" Yun Jin whispered as you felt her body become lighter

" wait what?!? I can't-" you pleaded, your voice cracking as tears streamed down your face, grasping onto her hands desperately

" please" she gave you a sweet smile as you close your eyes desperately clinging onto her as she disappears into thin air

Your last moments were yelling out her name until you sat up in a pitch black setting

You were breathing heavily as you tried to calm your heart, a hand over your chest

" [y/n]!! Are you okay! I heard you screaming someone's name!" You heard someone walk out their own room before they rushed to your side

" hey hey are you okay? Your face" you saw a panicked Thoma kneel in front of you as you hadn't realised you were crying in your sleep

" I'm sorry" you tried wiping your wasteful tears as Thoma frowned, grabbing a nearby tissue to wipe your tears 

" what's wrong..?" Thoma whispered as you stare into his eyes

" a nightmare" you manage to murmur collapsing on the man's shoulder

Thoma was stunned, a bit taken back as his hands didn't know whether to comfort you or not

" Its okay" Thoma coughed patting your back

" please do me a favour...don't tell anyone about this" you told the man after a few seconds of silence.

Thoma knowing your current state, gulped before agreeing to your terms

" ...not even to Childe..." you name, hoping Childe would never find out the reason behind your cries

" I won't tell a soul...but Childe should be coming home any minute now so why don't you go back to your room" Thoma instructed as you stood up and wiped your tears

" thank you" you look away, embarrassment reaching you as you quickly walk away and closed your door

Sliding down after you shut the door on Thomas face, you couldn't help but curse yourself for crying in front of Thoma. If fate were up to you. You wished Childe was there either way but Thoma just happened to be there to comfort you at a bad time

N E X T  D A Y

" HEY [Y/N]!" Ayaka greeted you in the morning as you sat in your place, drinking your morning beverage

" Hi!" You excitedly  greet her as she sits next to you

" sorry to bother you...but...can you?- never mind" Ayaka dismissed her thoughts as you tilted your head

" what? You can tell me anything" you placed a hand on Ayakas for some sort of support

" do you have a spare hair brush? I'm sorry my hair brush broke because I was pulling too hard and I didn't want to be a burden" Ayaka confessed as you smiled

" of course I do, it will be no problem" you stood up, already owing her a lot anyway

" thank you" Ayaka mouthed, not wanting to invade your privacy by going into your temporary room

" no worries" you mouthed backing up to walk to your room

Walking into your room you grab the hairbrush with ease and walk out but get stopped along the way

" morning my dear" Childe lays his head on your shoulder after catching you in the morning. His actions showing his exhaustion

" oh hi Childe" you hug back as Childe lets go of you  to stare at your features

" you look beautiful as always" Childe winked as he flashed you a smile before attending to his usual activities

Your smile dropped as soon as he left as if your smile was straining to you

" here Ayaka" you called out giving her a hair brush as she smiled

" thank you so much" Ayaka showed you a heart she made with her hands as you sheepishly laugh

" oh [y/n]!" you heard someone call your name, interrupting your laughter

" hmm?" you reply facing Thoma as he walked up to you

" another mail for you" Thoma gave you a closed letter, you take the letter in your hands as Ayaka suddenly sat up, attentive as you read out your letter

" this is probably from my job" you sighed walking to your room as Ayaka carefully watched you, hoping it wasn't from the 'mysterious person'. She'd call it

" man shes getting so many letters" Thoma told Ayaka, laughing to himself

" tell me about it" Ayakas tone laced a tint of worry

___

Meanwhile you sat in your chair staring at the pile of letters you received but never opened due to your forgetfulness

Taking a look at the unnamed letters you open them all at once, reading them one at a time.

You were surprisingly baffled by how all the letters seemed short

Looking at the letters words your heart stops beating

" I saw you that day. Did you really think you would get away with murder? [Y/n]...?"

You drop the letter and your eyes look at the next one as they all have the same word written together

" admit you did it"

T O B E C O N T I N U E D