~

Law was wrapped in a sheet, he had discarded the blankets entirely since the central heating was more than enough to keep him warm. He was laying on his side facing Luffy's bed. Law had sent Penguin to rest because he himself was doing a lot better but was still fatigued enough that he couldn't move to his own bed. The curtain was pulled and Law kept an eye on Luffy's vitals.

Law had woken up yesterday after the entire ordeal that Penguin got the worst end of. His friends had made sure he ate a lot to replenish the nutrients he had lost. Luffy had been sleeping the entire time. He would wake up for a few moments all confused and delirious, then he would pass out again. It wasn't easy being on a continuous dialysis and to fight an incurable poison with it. Both the boys being all tired and fatigued, hadn't had the opportunity to talk to each other.

Penguin told Law how guilty Luffy had felt the few moments he was awake and had known that something had happened to Law. The surgeon was glad his friend had opted to lie about the intensity of the situation.

Law sighed and checked his phone for the time. It was past midnight and he couldn't sleep. His mind was blank, he wasn't thinking about anything, just his eyes were trained on the body snoring lightly on the other bed.

"Uhnhgg..." Luffy stirred and opened his eyes. Law didn't move but did keep an eye on the other. From the way Luffy's half-lidded eyes were going here and there and his expressions were changing from confusion to sleepiness to confusion again, Law deduced he was still in a trance. "Torao...?" Luffy's eyes had landed on the older's since only Law's eyes were visible. The younger extended his arm a little outside his bed and moved his fingers around as if asking for Law to hold his hand. Little whining sounds kept escaping Luffy the more time passed with his hand empty.

Law huffed and hesitantly moved his arm outside his sheet and even more gingerly touched Luffy's awaiting palm. That singular touch was enough for Luffy to close his palm around Law's hand, a goofy-drunk smile taking place on his face, and his eyes drooping until he was back asleep. Law's blood reached his face when he realized what had transpired.

The older's brain constantly tried to work out Luffy's reasoning behind this gesture. Was he scared? Did he want some company, in whatever form or did he just want to hold Law's hand in particular? Was it a subconscious act or did Luffy deliberately seek him out? Grumbling when Law couldn't pinpoint the reason, he resigned himself to his fate and didn't move his hand for as long as he could remember before sleep overtook him.

It was evening when Law next woke up. He saw Penguin hovering beside Luffy, setting up IVs and drawing blood for probably another tox screen. He couldn't see if the younger was awake yet. Law wiped his eyes and sat up, feeling a tug in his left arm as he did so, realizing, much to his embarrassment, that Luffy was still holding his hand.

"If you had told me you were this worried about him, I'd have joined your beds." Penguin sniggered and Law's face turned red again.

Law forcibly pulled his arm to his side and cleared his throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure captain, whatever you say." Penguin grinned.

"Can I go take a bath now and get out of this gown?" Law asked because Penguin had refused when the other had suggested about a bath yesterday, saying that he was still not stable enough to be out of bed.

"Have someone by your door and you're coming back to this bed." Penguin relented.

"Works for me." Law shrugged and hopped out of the bed, standing up with his usual vigor but he had forgotten how weak he was.

"Careful." Penguin quickly supported Law and sat him back down when his frame had shaken along with his head.

"Thanks."

"Slow and steady Law." Penguin reminded and went back to his check-up on Luffy. "Oh and wrap a sheet around you, your gown's awfully messed up, you're gonna scar poor Ikkaku."

Law pulled the sheet he had been using around him and slowly stood up, making sure his head didn't spin again he made his way towards the lobby. Law silently signaled Clione to follow him.

"Stand guard. I'll call for you in case I start drowning." Law said nonchalantly and went to the bathroom to get the water running.

"Does that happen often?" Clione called from the door, dragging a chair near it and sitting down.

"It does." Law answered coming out to gather his clothes and going back, closing the door behind him but not locking it. "If I do end up needing help and you snap pictures, I will murder you and not even allow a burial." Clione shuddered at the after-note from inside the bathroom.

Law took his time with his bath, as unusual as it was for him to do so. It was just his muscles being extremely fatigued and sore and his body weak that his movements were slow and shaky. Washing his hair was a chore Law did not want to partake in but he had to. After wiping the rest of his body clean, it was time for a nice and warm soak in the small tub Law had managed to get built in his personal bathroom.

"Did you drown?" Clione asked from the door when the quiet got too long.

"Unfortunately not." The man sighed in relief at the answer, resuming his wait.

Law got out of the tub when the heat proved too much and shook himself like a dog, taking support on the sink when that made him lightheaded. He quickly pulled his clothes on, leaving his hair wet and a towel around his neck.

"Ok you're off duty. Good job." The surgeon told the other patting his shoulder and dumping his clothes in the hamper in his room. Clione quietly left and Law went back to the infirmary.

"Really?" Penguin sighed, exasperated when he saw Law's hair still wet. Law just grinned and sat down on his bed which his friend had put new sheets on.

"I hate drying my hair. Requires too much energy and movement, very annoying." Law said as Penguin rubbed his hair dry. "And I am very weak right now, you can't possibly ask me to do it myself, right?"

"Of course not." Law had been playful in his comments but Penguin's response was entirely serious. "You can put your earrings back on you know."

"Right." Law remembered and took half the gold from his friend, both putting the hoops in each ear. "Felt weird without these."

"Are you hungry now?" Penguin asked when he was about to make his leave.

"Sure why not."

"On it."

Law settled himself back in the bed, pulling a sheet around his shoulders and spreading it down his arms and sides. He glanced to the bed beside his and sighed, Luffy still wasn't awake. Penguin had put him off the dialysis for the time being to see how well his organs were taking the circulation.

Law went through his chart again until Penguin brought his food and put the tray on the bed after Law folded his legs inwards.

"It's too much." Law complained.

"And you're finishing it." Penguin said in a tone of finality and left to do whatever. Law groaned but began eating. He knew he was hungry and that his body needed the nutrients but old habits of starving himself kept coming back and he didn't have enough energy to fight those. Nevertheless, the surgeon ate, very slowly. He wrapped the meat and vegetables in spinach and cabbage leaves and munched on it to the best of his fatigued ability.

"Meat..." Luffy said and Law turned to see the boy slowly waking up. The older rolled his eyes at how the smell of meat was enough to rouse him from slumber. It took Luffy quite a while till he was properly awake, Law had tuned his attention to the way the younger's face went from confusion to sleepiness to confusion again, to realization and then finally to betrayal when he noticed Law eating. Luffy was drooling at the sight of meat so close but he couldn't have it. Law found it very amusing.

"Hope your mushrooms were worth it." Law teased stuffing his mouth with another spinach-cabbage roll.

"Torao! You're mean!" Luffy huffed and made a feeble attempt at throwing his pillow. Law dodged easily and grinned until he couldn't control himself and let out chuckles at the face Luffy was making.

Luffy's breath stopped at the sound and the brightness on Law's face that replaced his usual gloominess. Luffy felt his heart skip a beat and pick up pace. He was entranced by Law's carefree expression. Until...

When Luffy's heart had sped, his monitor had picked on the pulse and blood pressure and that ruined the moment. The change in the readings caught Law's attention and he quickly pressed the call button for Penguin.

"Why's your heart speeding up? Are you feeling ok?" Law asked starting to get up and check on the younger himself but stopped when Penguin arrived.

"I'm fine!" Luffy said before Penguin even had the chance to ask anything.

"Lay back down Luffy, you're stressing yourself." Penguin advised and moved to help Luffy lay down until he noticed his pillow was gone. He looked around and found it a few paces away from Law's bed. Penguin was quick to connect the dots. "Did Law say something to you?" The question was addressed to the boy but the glare was directed at the older.

"I didn't!" Law defended himself.

"Torao was being mean because I can't eat right now." Luffy pouted and let Penguin help him to lay down.

"Well Law is a certified asshole so don't let it get to you. You can't get stressed because your body is still fighting ok?" Penguin patted Luffy's shoulder and the younger nodded, shifting to his side so he could look at Law. Luffy frowned, Law's gloominess was back.

"Laughing suits Torao." Luffy pointed and closed his eyes, grinning. Law had just taken a bite and choked when the words registered in his brain.

"Oh. So that's what happened." Penguin shook his head, losing it that Luffy's vitals went out of whack because he heard Law laughing. Penguin slapped Law's back especially hard and he stopped choking. "Don't give him so many flutters, he's still a patient." Law couldn't find words on time before Penguin left him to figure out what he had meant.

Luffy was going in and out of sleep the whole day and it was again after midnight that he woke up feeling more rested than he had the entire time he was in this bed. He was still on his side so when he opened his eyes with a sigh, he saw Law. It took Luffy's brain a few moments to register what he was seeing.

Law was sitting on his own bed with his back against the headpost, his sheet was wrapped around him. He had his headphones and he was doing something with a pad and a pencil. He looked to be in a zone. Luffy could sense the good mood radiating off Torao, wondering what he was doing that made it possible.

"You're awfully creepy with your staring sometimes." Law commented, taking his headphones off and looking at Luffy with an annoyed frown.

"You looked happy doing what you were doing so I didn't wanna disturb."

"I'm pretty sure the word you should have used is 'psychopathic'."

"Nope." Luffy said and brought his blanket closer around him. "What were you doing?"

"Sketching the heart of one of my clients." Law answered and shifted the sketch pad so Luffy could see. He looked so proud that Luffy felt proud looking at Law.

"That's totally different from what we study in school!"

"At highschool level yes. Those are the easy, simple diagrams. Human hearts are way more complex."

"And you know your way around it! Torao you're awesome!" Law blushed at the blinding praise.

"This-this is a given for someone at my level." Law mentally kicked himself for stuttering and cleared his throat putting aside his things. The two were then enveloped in a silence until Luffy broke it.

"I can't sleep."

"Try your best." Law advised, not really sure what else he was supposed to say.

"Torao can you come here so I can sleep?" The question was so sudden that it caught Law off guard.

"What?"

"This bed can fit both of us-"

"No."

"But-"

"No." Law refused, his tone heavy.

"Why not?!" Luffy pouted. He was getting tired again and his body was aching, he wanted to sleep. "Stop being selfish!"

"What even! Stop being a baby. Go to sleep on your own."

"I can't-"

"How is that my problem?" Law was on the track of getting annoyed by Luffy's persistence again.

"I'm used to sleeping together!"

"Then get un-used to it idiot!" The way Law called Luffy an idiot triggered something in the younger. He had always been called an idiot for things that weren't in his control. People had always called him an idiot because he wasn't like them. Luffy didn't like it.

"Stop calling me an idiot! I'm not an idiot!!" Luffy roared. It was perhaps the first time Law had ever seen Luffy so angry. There was a frustrated yet fragile look in his eyes that Law knew and understood so well. It was insecurity. Luffy buried himself inside his blanket, hiding himself from view.

Law's mind began turning its gears around the possible reasons for Luffy's outburst. Was it because Law said it? Was it simply the meds? Was it because someone made him feel like an idiot and took advantage? Or was it that people never understood anybody slightly different and just labeled the unorthodox as they pleased?

Just how many times and by how many people had Luffy been called an idiot? Law wondered and something softened in him without his permission. Law had become one of those people that had contributed to Luffy's trauma without really knowing.

"You're not an idiot. I'm sorry I called you one." Law sighed.

"Promise?" Luffy asked from inside the blanket.

"Yes. You're different, different isn't always bad. But you absolutely are a dumbass for putting yourself in situations where you get hurt."

"Nishishi, but you always get me out of those situations too." Luffy pulled his blanket down till his head was visible.

"Don't make a habit of it." Law frowned.

"That's what you said about sleeping together too."

"And I mean it. The way you can't sleep right now, haven't you become dependent on my presence or whatever to be able to sleep?"

Luffy thought on that for a second. "So what? You say it like it's bad. You're able to sleep too with me around. What's so bad about it?" Law took a deep breath to keep his patience from running out.

"I didn't sleep well before I knew you so it really isn't a problem for me but you, you need to stop doing this before you become completely incapable of sleeping on your own."

"Like I said, what's so bad about it?" Luffy was getting annoyed by the way Law kept using words to avoid giving a straight answer.

"A lot of things, first being that we both live in different countries and have a huge difference between our lifestyles." Law started explaining. He could feel himself beginning to get frustrated and anxious about Luffy's lack of understanding.

"So?"

"So?- What is it that you don't understand?!"

"Just say what you want to say, stop making excuses." Luffy said, his face serious. Law was irked. He wasn't used to voicing what he was feeling so it was very difficult for him to give Luffy a straight answer but his constant naivety was making Law exceedingly angry and anger was where Law lost his verbal filter.

"You can't get attached to people to help you! What's wrong with you?! People took advantage of you for fuck's sake! How can you even trust anybody?! Screw even that, why would you even trust people to help you?! They can so easily make their way in your life and then disappear! Or worse, die! And you can't certainly keep expecting me to help you, I am one of those people who want their life to end on a daily basis so don't count on me for always being there for you and forget the fuck about me! I am so done with your childishness that gets you hurt and- why are you always bent on being with someone?! Are you that afraid of being alone?!" Law stopped to take a breath but it got caught in his throat when he finally looked at Luffy. The younger was silently crying, his eyes downcast and sad. "Fuck everything!" Law cursed and just left his bed and the infirmary.

He hadn't meant to hurt Luffy but he had been on edge for quite some time about how trusting Luffy was with him and how he kept getting dependent on the older as if Law would always stay with him.

Law went to his quarters and locked the door. He would stay there until the rest of Luffy's stay aboard the Tang. He was not going to add to the other's need to always be with someone.

Luffy silently sobbed. Law's words were true. He was afraid of being alone, he didn't like it. It was worse than being in pain. But Law had left. Luffy had wanted Law to stay and help him sleep, keep him company, but Law had left. Luffy had driven him away. He blamed himself. He didn't know how to shut up or how to sound reasonable in his requests and that drove Law away. And now after yelling at Luffy, Law must be feeling bad, it was all Luffy's fault. He blamed himself.

Luffy didn't see Law the next day. Penguin kept up Luffy's treatment.

"What happened?" Penguin asked selecting a new location for Luffy's cannula, his old ones had all run their course.

"It's my fault." The way Luffy had started crying again, Penguin decided it was better if the younger was put to sleep. He would ask Law.

Penguin knocked on Law's door and entered on the permission. He put the tray he was carrying on Law's study table, not leaving until Law at least acknowledged him. The surgeon was buried in his covers, obviously not sleeping.

"Why are you still here?" Law asked sitting up and fixing a sleepy glare at his friend.

"Why aren't you in the infirmary?" Penguin asked, arms crossed.

"I don't like being there." Law lied expertly.

"You didn't have a problem with it till yesterday. So what changed?"

"Like I said, I don't like being there."

"What else? Because Luffy is awfully messed up-"

"I do not care about that." Law spat, anger starting to overtake him again. Why was everyone so bent on talking to Law after Luffy?!

"Law-"

"No. I am not going back and I am certainly not feeding that moron's bad habits. He wants to cry about it? His choice! None of you can hold me accountable for something I didn't agree to!" Law yelled and groaned. Great! Now he yelled at his friend!

"But don't you want to help him get better?" Penguin tried again, doing his best to stand his ground.

"I can barely help myself! Why would I want to waste my time with him! This whole thing was a mistake! I should have refused when he wanted to meet here! I should have just told him a definite no! I can't give what he wants from me! I should have tried harder! He needs to leave. He can't keep staying here. He needs to stay away from me."

"Oh." Penguin understood what this was about. Law was scared. He wasn't quite sure what brought this on but his friend was definitely scared. Just a few days ago he put his own life on the line for Luffy and now that the younger's safe and alive, Law wanted to be away from him. "You're not some curse you know. You're allowed happiness too, I hope you know that."

Law didn't answer, his emotions were all over the place and right now even he himself wasn't sure why that was. Yesterday he thought it was because Luffy was being stupid but that certainly wasn't the case.

Penguin quietly left and heaved a heavy sigh. He had an inkling what this was. Law went into hypovolemic shock, if somebody survived that, they were prone to go into an emotional shock on their way to recovery. It could alter everything they knew about themselves to how they felt about everything else. It was perhaps that shock that Law was being so oddly open and vulnerable and scared.

Luffy's stay on the Polar Tang was a week more with on and off dialysis and IVs, until Penguin deemed him good enough to eat solid food and be out of bed. Luffy's blood was clean but he had been prescribed medicines for some time as a precaution. He had also been prescribed doctor's visits to keep an eye on his organ health.

Luffy had been asking for Law all the while he was on the Tang but Law had refused to see him. The older had completely shut himself in his room, just allowing Penguin to deliver him food that he ate little of. Penguin was concerned but Law made it really clear that he would get better when he wanted to.

And so it came, the time for Luffy to leave and head back home.

"He's locked his door, Luffy, I'm afraid he won't be coming." Penguin told Luffy, the news heavy on him too. Luffy sighed and dropped his bag on the metal floor, walking past the few of the Hearts and going straight to Law's room.

"Torao?" Luffy knocked on the door but received no answer. "Torao?"

Law sighed and closed the medical journal he was reading but didn't move to respond to Luffy. Penguin had told him that Luffy would be leaving today and to be nice and to come out to at least say goodbye. But Law wouldn't.

"I'm leaving." Luffy said solemnly and Law could hear the heavy breath that accompanied it. "Just wanted to tell you that... you got caught up in this mess because of me. It's my fault, I know that... but..." Luffy was going to tell Law how he felt safe in the older's company and that it was part of the reason he always sought him out but decided not to say all those things. Luffy took a deep breath again and placed his fist on the metal door. "I'm sorry."

Law's heart was hammering in his chest, it seemed to want to get out of his body and go tell Luffy that sure it might be Luffy's fault but part of it was also Law's. For allowing the closeness, the friendship, the comfort, for that it was Law's fault, especially when he knew he would distance himself eventually. But Law again, didn't move. He just sighed and sighed until he heard the footsteps going away till there was silence.

Luffy was gone.

And Law was left alone all over again.

But this time, he brought it on himself.

~