Marco just got home when he found out he had a message. He'd been on a run to try and get rid of his nerves. He didn't say it but Marco was worried about Ace's new friend. What if he told Ace to get rid of him? Ace was already not engaged in anything they talked about. He felt it was too late, but didn't want to give up until Ace told him it was over for good.

He opened the text and dropped his water bottle on the wood floor of his home. Ace wanted to see him. But what for? To break up? Well, he assumed they already were. But to let him go for good? Had his friend told him to?

He responded immediately, of course. Sure. Is everything okay? He knew everything was not okay, but about this. Was he okay to talk, or was this the end? He closed the front door behind him and started to get dressed in normal clothes, brushing his teeth and making sure he looked okay.

He was already in the car when Ace messaged back. He read at a stop sign, I just need to talk to you in person. Then he added, It's not bad news. Marco let out a breath he'd been holding and rested his head on the steering wheel. He had pulled into a parking lot and was now parked in a spot, watching the icon movie showing that Ace was typing. Can you meet me here? I want this talk in private.

Absolutely. I'll leave now. I'll be there as soon as I can. Ace apologized for the short notice, but Marco wanted to thank him, for giving him this chance to talk in person. Texting, now that is, was like speaking to a robot. There was no soul in their "conversations". Just Marco trying his best to make Ace understand that he was sorry and still loved him.

Oh, he was nervous. He hadn't seen Ace awake in over two and a half years. He was always sleeping, scars across his face. He hadn't seen him in years in any other position than laying in a bed, dead to the world. But he was awake, and Marco was going to get to see him one last time, if this was the end.

Ace had tried to assure him that this was not a bad meeting, but he might just say that because he wanted Marco to come regardless. But he shot down that thought. Ace was anything but cruel or a liar. If he wanted to break it off completely, he'd be talking differently. Marco could read him like a book, even over text. But this time he had no idea what his intention was.

If it was to end things, then Marco was at least going to be told in person. Though he couldn't see Ace wanting to leave him for good in his new apartment and leave bad memories. He drove the 45 minute drive nervously, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He kept changing the station, trying to distract his mind. He still drove perfectly, but it was hard not imagining being at Ace's door and then having him end it and close the door in his face.

He did his absolute best to not imagine bad outcomes. But why now? Was it because of his online friend? He took a couple deep breaths as he turned down the street that ended with his complex, where he could see the forest that Ace sent him pictures of. He wanted to go in it with him. Wanted to go to the park together, holding hands again.

He parked in a guest spot that was uncovered and took one more calming breath before getting out of the car and locking it with shaking fingers. He looked up, but didn't see Ace waiting at his door. But, he couldn't see it at this angle anyways.

Marco slowly walked up the two flights of stairs to Ace's door. He was waiting on the other side since it opened the second he knocked softly, hesitantly. He walked in and looked around before seeing Ace, holding his cat like he was using it to calm himself. The cat glared at Marco, even though he'd never seen it before. It looked just like in the pictures Ace sent.

His eyes flicked to Ace's face, and he walked forward, putting his hands up to touch the scars on his face. Marco hadn't seen his eyes open in over two years. Pictures of the grey weren't good enough. Ace didn't pull away when Marco's thumbs brushed over the many marks from the glass of his car. He pulled his hands away and quickly apologized. Ace licked his lips nervously.

"So, what's up?" Marco asked, trying to sound anything but terrified. Ace looked thoroughly uncomfortable, and he hadn't acted like that in five years. Afraid of Marco rejecting him, though it had been the opposite for these months.

"I'm sorry it's such short notice. I just had to see you to talk about this," Ace said quietly, setting Lucy down, who zipped away and to the couch, sitting on it and staring at the two. Marco waited with baited breath. "Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me alone?" Ace asked sadly, getting straight to the point.

Marco answered immediately. "Every time I saw your face I knew it was my fault. They said it was possible for you to never wake up, and I... I ju-just couldn't look anymore, "Marco replied, voice breaking. "I'd visit every day and you would never respond to anything, couldn't hear me." He couldn't help the fat tears that left his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Ace. I regret it from the bottom of my heart. I made you feel like you were never loved. I left you all alone." He saw tears in Ace's eyes, too.

"I didn't know about your family until after. Even if you had woken up and they were still there, I still left you, and you didn't know why. I still love you so much, even if you don't love me," Marco confessed. Ace didn't say anything. "Pl-Please say something."

Ace broke into tears. "Don't leave me again," he said in a small, crushed voice. Like all of the happiness had been sucked out of him. Marco didn't understand. Ace had said he didn't love him. Not just a couple days ago. It didn't make sense.

The older walked forward and wiped away a tear with shaking hands. "What do you mean? You said you didn't love me anymore," he said in such confusion. He didn't want to get his hopes up, but Ace wouldn't send such mixed signals on purpose.

"I want to. I don't know what's happening. I want to love you and I should love you, but I just can't feel that feeling! I'm broken, or something. I'm not myself, I'm not who I was and I don't know if I can be that person again," he said, stuttering through it.

Marco touched his cheek. "That's what grief is, Ace. It changes you for a while. Maybe a long while, but you'll be yourself once you're grieving turns into reminiscing of good times. You won't be healed anytime soon. But I want to and will be there for you, if you accept me," he said softly.

Ace wiped his nose and eyes, but didn't put Marco's hand away, so he added a second, wiping away a tear before it spilled. "I'm different, though. You won't like this me," he mumbled in a broken voice.

Marco brought him into a hug. "I love every part and every version of you. I want to help you heal, even if you don't love me until you're better. Or if you ever love me again, I'm happy to help you get through this." Ace sobbed into his shoulder, and Lucy, the cat, was crying at Ace's feet. Ace didn't go to her, instead wrapped his arms around Marco's torso. Ace was a good six inches shorter than Marco, so he was hugged into Marco's collar bone.

"I'm sorry I was so heartless. I didn't think of how you felt after the accident, or after you found I wasn't there anymore," Ace sobbed, his body shaking. Marco put a hand on the back of Ace's head. "Marco, I want mom and Luffy back!" he sobbed, and tears came out of Marco's eyes as well.

He couldn't stand to see Ace like this, but he'd never walk out on him again. Ace was too precious and important. Marco lost him twice already, he was not going through it a third time. Never. Unless Ace truly didn't want him, but he couldn't even entertain that thought at the moment when Ace was in his arms. After one year of hoping and waiting, another year of trying to move on, and three months of absolute regret.

"I know, Ace. I know," Marco said, and picked Ace up to bring to the couch. He sat in Marco's arms, sobbing harder than Marco knew someone even could. "Shhh," he soothed, rubbing his back. This was how it was going to be for a while, and Marco would be there to help him. Help him mourn the loss of all he knew. Mourn the loss of the life he had before the coma.

Hopefully Ace had him now. They sat there for a long time until Ace cried himself to sleep. Marco carried him bridal style and found the room with the bed and tucked him in, holding his hands tightly while he sat next to the bed. It had been awhile, Marco didn't know what was okay for him to do. Before the crash, Ace was fine with Marco napping on the same bed with him. Now, he didn't know what to do.

Lucy wandered in and stared at him for a minute before sitting down and licking her stomach. "Thank you for taking care of Ace," he said to the cat. She ignored him.

-x-

When Ace woke up, Marco was gone. Was it all a dream? "Marco?" he asked, wondering if it had just been a dream and he was alone again. But he heard fast footsteps and saw Marco with a plate of eggs, even though it was closer to lunch than anything else. Lucy was latched onto his thigh, nails dug into his pants and probably skin. "You stayed."

Marco sat down next to him. "Of course I did. I wouldn't leave you while you were sleeping. Never again," he said, taking Ace's hand and intertwining them together. "I'll be here as long as you need me. Want me." Ace nodded and sat up on his bed, taking the plate of eggs with just the right amount of bacon bits.

Marco touched the scab on Ace's arm. It looked bad, but it hadn't been very deep. "What's this?" he asked, looking up at Ace, who looked ashamed.

"I hid all the knives and threw away the razors. I can't get rid of my fingernails, though," he said quietly. Marco leaned down and kissed it. He didn't say anything to scold him or pity him. He missed what they had. This wasn't what they had, but he started to feel maybe that time could come again. Probably not any time in the immediate future, but if Marco stuck around, Ace knew he could feel about him how he did before.

He just had to stick around and not leave again. "Marco, I'm sorry I was so insensitive-" Ace began before Marco put his finger to Ace's lip, silencing him.

"We're both very sorry for what we've done or didn't do to one another. Let's stop apologizing," he said softly. Ace's eyes watered but he nodded. A shaky, not confident smile came to his lips, but it didn't last long. Marco saw it and smiled at him with caring eyes. Ace wanted to apologize again, but he didn't because Marco said they should both stop.

Marco gently touched the scar that went across his cheeks, and smudged the makeup he'd put on his freckles. "Do they bother you? The scars?" Ace shook his head.

"Nobody stares when I go out," Ace said. Then he blushed, "I don't go out much, though." Marco pushed a strand of hair behind Ace's ear so gently. He hadn't been touched like this in many months, to him, when it was actually over two years.

"I like your new place. It's very nice, and it's in a nice location," Marco commented. Ace nodded.

He finished the eggs and said, "I needed to start over somewhere else. So I chose this place. I got in-inheritance money, I could afford it," he said with a sad shrug. He cleared his throat, and could tell things wouldn't be back to how they were immediately. Marco would need to be patient, and he'd always been patient with Ace before. "Do you want to go on a walk?"

"I'd love to," Marco replied, and Ace looked up and nodded, going to the kitchen to rinse the plate off and put it in the dishwasher to run later. Ace put his jacket on and boots, wearing jeans and put his phone in his pocket. He had to message MaskedDeuce later and thank him. If he didn't put things in simple perspective, Ace wouldn't have tried with Marco. Probably.

Ace led him out, and locked the door with the key before pocketing it. He led the way to the entrance to the forest. It was chilly but not raining or going to rain. Marco stared at him, and he grew uncomfortable. Did he do something wrong? "What?" he asked a little defensively. He wasn't doing anything worth staring at.

"Just impressed. Last time you were awake, you barely ever left home. And now you go shopping, drive places, go on walks," Marco said. His hand inched towards Ace's until their fingers touched. Ace pulled it away at first before he reached back out to hold it.

"Meds really help. It's also what I have to do now. I live by myself, I have to be an adult even though I'm on the verge of a panic attack when I go out. But I usually only go shopping when the stores just opened or when they are about to close," Ace explained. Marco ran his thumb in circles on Ace's hand. "Um, will you tell your brother I'm sorry for shutting the door in his face?"

Marco replied, "It was invasive and a breach of privacy to search for you. You don't need to apologize for being upset. It was understandable and Izo wasn't angry." Ace still looked guilty. "I only looked for you because I knew you were hurting and alone. I was presumptuous and thought maybe you would want my company, but it didn't go down how I hoped it would."

Ace looked down. Marco had been trying hard and Ace knew that, but he just didn't believe most of it, didn't want to put the effort in forgiveness until he felt guilt and regret for not taking his feelings into account. Thank goodness MaskedDeuce was there. Though things could go south again. Ace could have a meltdown or moodswing and ruin things. But Marco could also ruin things.

They were on thin ice. It wasn't like how it had been. Ace couldn't tell him all of his thoughts and feelings like he had once been able to do. He couldn't trust he wouldn't put Ace in pain again, even if he might not mean to. It'd been two years since Marco talked to Ace in person, but only a couple months since Ace had. But in those months, so much had changed.

He wasn't even paying attention to where they were going, but followed the trail. Since it wasn't morning anymore, no one was around. Marco commented on the beautiful surroundings. Ace nodded, and they were silent again. When he looked up at Marco, he was smiling, while Ace wasn't. He believed that Marco loved him. Especially now that he'd seen him in person. And Ace wanted to trust him with everything.

Sure, he trusted him not to hurt him physically, or talk about him behind his back, or steal anything. But to not break his heart again? He tried so hard to look at it through his perspective. "Marco, do you have any pictures of me after the crash? When I was in the coma?" he asked suddenly. Maybe seeing what he'd seen would help him forgive and understand. Ace wouldn't ever forget, but hopefully move past it.

Marco tensed, but nodded and they both stopped walking for Marco to take out his phone and search through his photos. Ace saw there was a folder of pictures just of him. Marco scrolled through them quickly and then picked one, showing Ace. he took the phone and his eyes widened. It showed him with irritated and red cuts, stitches all over his face. His nose was broken and he had bruises all over the place. He also had a breathing tube and wires attached.

Ace clamped his lips together so he didn't throw up. He thrust the phone back at Marco, and started to breathe too quickly. He was having a panic attack. He shook, and Marco did his best to ground him, tell him he was no longer hurt, he was safe. Once it was over, Marco brought Ace into his arms. "Shhh," he soothed, and Ace gradually returned back to how he was now. Not normal, but how he'd been for awhile now.

"Sorry," Ace said, humiliated.

"It's alright," Marco replied simply. "Do you want to keep walking or go back?" Ace said he wanted to keep walking, only he didn't hold Marco's hand again since his arms were now wrapped around himself tightly, almost like he was in a straight jacket.

They ended up at the little lake, and Marco said it was so much prettier in person. They sat down, Ace with his knees to his chest while Marco's legs were out in front of him. They were quiet for a bit, listening to the birds and breeze blowing through the trees. The sounds were relaxing.

"Marco, will you tell me about your brothers?" Ace asked. Marco was surprised, since before the accident, they didn't talk much about Marco's family. It just didn't come up much, even though Ace knew he loved his brothers deeply. Maybe it was because the times Marco did bring it up, Ace felt guilt about not seeing them yet.

"Alright," he said, and began to talk about all of his brothers in depth. What kind of people they were, if they had jobs, families. Where they lived, what they liked. He said he loved all of them, but his favorites were Izo and Thatch. The only one Ace had met was Izo, and it was very brief. He still felt bad for being rude. But it had bothered him that Marco found him so quickly after he moved away. To get away from his past and problems. And even though he and Marco might become a thing again, he was glad he got away, started someplace new. It was easier being away from the graves when he knew there was nothing in them. There was nobody to visit, just tombstones with names and dates on them.

"They all liked you a lot for how happy you make me. It was hard after your crash, they saw how depressed I was. Thatch visited you with me once, right after the accident after you were off of life support," Marco explained. He had a dark look on, remembering what had happened. Ace was glad he didn't remember the pain he must have been in. He put his hand on Marco's in comfort.

Marco took a deep breath and then changed the subject. "How are the check ups going? I assume you have to go to the doctor after waking up."

Ace nodded. "I get check ups to see if my brain is functioning right. They said I am doing a good job considering I was in a coma for 2 years. But it's the longer comas that really mess you up. Not that two years is short. I have to go to therapy, but that's a given. I cancelled the last visit. I should be having one the day after tomorrow. The therapist comes to me so I don't have to go out," he explained. Marco nodded, and they were quiet for a while again, both lost in thoughts. Ace didn't ask what he was thinking about like he would have done before.

"Ace? What should I tell my brothers? Are we... trying again? Have you decided yet?" the older asked hesitantly, probably afraid of what the answer would be.

Ace looked down, thinking even though he knew the answer. He was just making sure it was the right one. He wouldn't want to lead Marco on and then change his mind. But seeing him emotional, showing the pain he'd been feeling since the accident and then the pain he felt after he realized he might have blown it with Ace, it made him feel better.

Not better that Marco was hurting, but seeing all of his texts were sincere. "I want to try again. But... I don't know if I'm the same and I don't want to disappoint you." Marco took his hand again since Ace had moved it to hug his knees.

"You're worth it. Always worth it, even if you're a little different. I will do all I can to help you, even if that means you need more space. If you need me, I'll be here, regardless of distance. I promise I won't walk out on you again. If I hadn't left, if I had bit the bullet and not given into my weakness and guilt, I would have wanted to go to the next step. Not sex," he said quickly, knowing that Ace was uncomfortable with that topic.

"Next step?" Ace wondered. What did he mean. Marco's face turned red and he looked away.

"I want to be with you the rest of my life," he said, and that was answer enough. Marco had wanted to propose to him. But now that was messed up, at least for the time being. Ace wouldn't marry him, not until he was as in love with him as he was before.

He looked at Marco, and said, "I can't until I love you as much as I did before." Marco nodded, had a smile on. He said he was glad he didn't just scare him away. "I wish things had been different."

"Me too. From the bottom of my heart."

Ace blushed, and then said, "What about us and... sex? I don't know if or when I'll ever feel confident enough to do that stuff. Isn't sex important in relationships?" Marco shrugged.

"For some people. I would be fine never going all the way as long as you were with me forever. As long as you love me and I love you. And I always will. I've said it a lot, I know, but it's true. I just want you to know, and not think I'm doing this out of pity or guilt," Marco replied. Ace could tell it was honest. He smiled shyly and thanked Marco.

They eventually walked back to Ace's place and Marco ordered pizza since it was dinner time and they were both hungry. They split the bill, even after Marco insisted to pay for the whole thing.

Marco always thought Ace's favorite was gross, but that was a good thing since he never stole his part of the pizza. Marco thought fruit should not go on pizza. "You know tomato is a fruit, too," he always pointed out. Marco always lost that argument, not that it was really one in the first place.

They watched some shows on the smart TV that Ace had gotten. If he was going to live all by himself, then he might as well live comfortably. Ace hesitantly leaned against Marco, who seemed to relax at the touch and just as slowly put his arm around Ace. They had to set new boundaries now. Things wouldn't be the same for a while. Both of them knew it, and accepted it.

Marco left when it was dark out, and Ace told him to be careful. "Don't worry, I'm a good driver," he said. The accident hadn't been his fault but the car broke down and someone either didn't notice or didn't care. Ace was a good driver, too, after his body was able to function properly again.

He went to his computer to tell MaskedDeuce about his day and thank him. He opened the website and went to the chat. I talked to Marco in person. He cried about what happened to me and seemed sincere. I said I'd give it a try again. It didn't feel like how it used to. But I'm gonna try, I said I would. Thanks.

It was a couple minutes before he got a reply. I'm happy I helped you out! Give it time, grief changes you but it doesn't always last. You'll probably go back to who you were after you can smile when thinking of them and not cry. It's a good thing you don't remember the crash or you could have PTSD and panic attacks. That wouldn't be fun. :(

Ace agreed, and thanked him again. They talked a while, and Ace considered this person one of his first friends since his agoraphobia set in. First friend in a long time, and being over the internet made it easier. He didn't need to leave the house and could think more about what his reply would be instead of on the spot.

I gotta go, I'm exhausted and need some sleep. Talk again tomorrow?

Yeah. Goodnight.

You, too.