"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person." 

- Gerard Way

They've all been through so much, countless deaths and hardships being thrown in their faces without warning, not allowing them time to unpack the previous ones. It's been a couple of weeks since Atlanta and they've been on the road, searching for food, shelter, and just about anything that can help them survive. 

Daryl fed Aliya worms just the other day, something she would've never imagined she would do. Or was it yesterday? She can't remember anymore. From the harsh nature of the road, the brutal glare of the sun and the constant tickle of death, she can hardly remember anything that happened a few hours ago. 

All she knows is that she's sat beside Noah while Daryl was sat in front of her while they listened to Eugene. She was holding his bow for comfort while her stomach growled angrily. Her stomach must've been trying to embarrass her when a loud growling sounded from the bushes. All embarrassment wiped away when a pack of feral dogs made their presence known. 

The dogs bared their teeth as they dangerously closed in on them. Aliya's breath hitched in her throat as she looked at Judith. Daryl turned to look at the dogs and reached his hand out to Aliya who sat up and crutched her dagger. The dogs stared at them intimidatingly as they barked, claiming and marking their territory. When the dogs readied themselves to pounce, they were immediately met boy Sasha's hush bullets. 

All of them froze in their position as they risked a peek at Sasha who held a cold gaze in her eyes. Aliya breathed a breath of relief as her shoulders sagged, "Guess that's dinner?" she muttered almost to herself. Daryl chuckled under his breath as he shook his head in amusement, "Damn right." he whispered as he eyed the dead wild dogs. 

Food at last. 

==+==

Maggie's way of grieving was through silence and thirst. She declined every sip of water Glenn had offered and kept silent; only talking when spoken to. Aliya could understand. Maggie lost every family she had left in just a blink of an eye. Aliya could only stay silent in support and understanding, knowing that like her, Maggie would never have a proper period of mourning. 

That's just how it is now. 

Aliya watched as Daryl shut down Glenn's offer of water with a quick rejection. She pursed her lips in contrite as she listened as Daryl told Abraham that he was gonna go get water. It didn't need a genius to know what Daryl really wanted to do. Beth's death fell heavy on his heart as he remembered the words he threw at her in spite. He wanted to take it all back so bad, to tell Beth he didn't mean it. But it was too late. 

Daryl staggered a bit once he realised Aliya heard what he told Abraham. He completely forgot that she was walking alongside them in the back and not in front like the others. He blinked slowly as if to keep himself together but Aliya had other plans. She offered him a comforting smile that turned out dismal while as she nodded at him, "I'll wait." she re-assured him. 

He gulped down the lump on his throat as he tried to blink away his tears. Seeing how conflicted Daryl was, she turned from him and walked beside Abraham. Daryl watched her for a second before turning away to walk into the woods. Aliya had her head tilted to the side as she felt for Daryl. Once she knew that Daryl was gone, she kept her head high as she looked ahead. He needed that. 

Without a word, Abraham elbowed her a bit and offered her his whiskey. Aliya stared at it for a bit before reaching for it, gulping a pregnant shot before wiping her lips dry. Her eyes watered at the sting; the sting of the alcohol and the sting of their loss. Aliya blinked and looked away once her tears fell, shaking her head to rid of the tears while not making it obvious for the others. 

It'll cause a domino effect, one breaks down and the others will soon follow. 

==+==

"Quality assurance." 

Aliya blinked as some water whisked her way. Abraham stared Eugene down in anger as he walked away. Eugene only looked at Abraham with the same resented but stayed silent, looking like a puppy that was kicked without reason. Not that Aliya could equate Eugene to a puppy, he was more like a...cockroach. Or maybe a sloth? She couldn't even think anymore. 

The sky suddenly turned dark as thunder clapped over them. Aliya craned her neck to face the sky and blinked as droplets of water dropped on her. She closed her eyes as she soaked the rain in, allowing herself to bask in the only thing she still has from her previous life - her love of rain. Daryl broke his stare off of the ground as he looked at Aliya, his heart somehow warming. 

He wanted to feel something, anything other than regret and sorrow but even as he stared at Aliya, all he could feel was that. As if feeling his eyes on her, Aliya straightened her neck and stared right at him, her eyes wet and he knew that it wasn't rain. She marched towards him, engulfing him into her arms while his arms stayed at his side. "It'll get better." she whispered, needing the words herself. 

Even though she was the one to say it, she herself couldn't solidly back up her statement. She's not sure if it'll get better. If it will all be okay someday but there's one thing she's sure of - either she'll die trying or she'll die trying. There was no other way. 

They were filling up every container they had when thunders started clapping everywhere. The rain was starting to get violent and Judith's cries was becoming louder. Aliya looked at Daryl worriedly as he notified Rick of a barn that he discovered a while back. Rick let Daryl lead the way as they all followed suit. 

----

Sitting around the campfire with the others felt familiar. Aliya's brows furrowed as she tried to rack her brain for the memory that stayed at the back of her head. Why was sitting around a campfire so nostalgic for her? 

"...could be a walker." a voice whispered in her head. Her eyes widened as she remembered vaguely seeing Rick and the others awhile back. When she....killed Gab. She couldn't help but stare at the flickering fire as her face crumpled in that bittersweet feeling. Aliya combed her fingers through her hair and shook her head. 

Rick noticed Aliya's restlessness and called out for her, "You okay Aliya?" he gently asked. She blinked back into reality and looked up to him. He adjusted in his seat as he stared back at her. Aliya shifted in her seat as well, due to the attention she garnered. She looked at Daryl for support and accepted his hand, "I just realised," she trailed off before clearing her throat, "I've seen you all before." 

Daryl's face contorted in confusion while Rick looked around for any reaction. Aliya was quick to speak up again, "Only briefly." she clarified. Rick spread his legs as he propped his forearms on them, leaning towards her. This was new to him and the others. 

"I was in my car in the highway when I noticed an emblem of fire in the distance and heard voices - loud but hushed voices." 

Realisation and recognition swept across their faces as they stared at her in awe. She spooked them that night, caused them to be on edge the whole time. It made sense that they were unharmed though, knowing who Aliya was now, they were never in any danger. Aliya looked at Maggie, "I was the noise in the dark. The one you thought was a walker." 

Maggie emotionlessly nodded at her in acknowledgement. Rick looked down at the fire before looking back up at her, "What were you doing out there? Alone?" he asked curiously. Aliya froze up as she looked away. It wasn't something she wanted to say out loud but it also wasn't something she regretted doing. She did it for Camellia and she did it so that the others didn't have to. 

Rick picked up her hesitance and nodded slowly, "We don't have to talk about it." he re-assured her but she shook her head. She was the one that brought it up and the others deserve the whole story. "I went there to kill somebody." she confessed. Carol's eyes flew towards her as she watched Aliya's vulnerable face. Daryl looked down at their hands when Aliya unconsciously let go. 

The others stayed silent as they let Aliya tell her story which was something she was eternally grateful for. "He was a threat to Camellia. A bully." she listed off bitterly. Her fist tightened at her side as her eyes darkened, "A predator." her voice turned cold as Carol looked at her with understanding. 

Rick stared at Aliya for a while, observing her face and every emotion she's allowing to show. She's a strong person, fit for a leader. But Rick knew Aliya turned her back on that kind of position for a reason, "It's justified then." he offered as they shared a nod. The laws of before is extremely different from the laws now. Killing off threats are considered the way of life, 'cause that's the only way they can survive now. 

They were swept with silence until Rick spoke up, "When I was a kid..." he trailed off, recounting the story that his grandpa told him about the war with the Germans. It seemed so pointless then, all those lives and time lost to war. And for what? Power? Money? Land? Look at the result when the world becomes tired of all useless mundane fights - no mercy for all. 

Listening to Rick's story made Aliya realise one thing: they all needed to die inside first to be able live in the present. Wiping the slate clean was the only way they could move forward with their lives today. "We tell ourselves...we are the walking dead." Daryl immediately opposed that idea, shaking his head as he stood up, "We ain't them." he disagreed with conviction. 

They weren't them. They will never be. As long as they breathed, they would never be them. 

----

It was the next morning and Daryl was still awake, staring at Aliya's sleeping figure right by him. She wanted to keep him company and tried to stay up but ultimately succumbed to sleep. Daryl wasn't complaining though, he wanted her to rest up. 

The others were still sound asleep when Maggie woke up to face Judith's joyous face. Judith was staring at her silently with an innocence blush in her cheeks, making Maggie smile a bit. She sat up and looked around the others until her eyes fell on Daryl's figure. He had his hand on his chin, wiping at it absentmindedly as he watched over Aliya. Maggie slowly pushed herself up and made her way towards him, sitting beside him quietly. 

Daryl looked over to her as acknowledgement to which Maggie reciprocated immediately, "You should rest up." He nodded as both of their eyes landed on Sasha's sleeping figure. Everybody could see how affected Sasha was with her boyfriend and her brother passing just a small time apart. Tyreese was her crutch after Bob took a piece of her with him. Now that she had no crutch left, she's dancing on top of the line of sanity. 

Maggie tore her gaze from Sasha and stared at Aliya, a warm smile reaching her face. Daryl noticed this and followed her gaze, back to where he started. "You've both come a long way, you know." Maggie smiled fondly as Daryl chuckled lightly. Aliya stirred in her sleep a bit, making both of them freeze, until she relaxed once again. They watched as Aliya's hand reached out blindly, looking for something to hold which made Daryl shift in his position. 

"Go." Maggie nodded at him and assured him that it was alright for him to go. Daryl nodded at her before making his way beside Aliya who immediately cradled his hand in hers. It was heartwarming to see how Daryl and Aliya lean on each other from time to time. Daryl deserved somebody to lean on, somebody who would always be there for him when he needed a break. Aliya needed somebody to lean on too, to help her up when she's starting to buckle. 

Maggie held onto the music box Daryl gave to her just minutes ago as she made her way to Sasha. Daryl watched them for a second before putting his attention back on Aliya who was now awake. She gave his hand a kiss before smiling up at him, "Were you watching the whole night?" she asked gently, her fingers soothingly caressing his hand up and down. He nodded as he wiped away a stray piece of hair away from her eyes. 

Her eyes fluttered at the contact, "It's my turn tonight, then." The corner of his lips lifted up as he nodded at her once more. Seeing her like this, so relaxed and at peace, made him feel like he was floating. These little moments are what drives him, keeps him sane. She doesn't realise it but she keeps him alive. Knowing that there is still something good doing on in his life was making all of his sacrifices worth it. She reached her hand out and caressed his cheek, "Good morning." 

He snorted a laugh. "Good morning." he replied warmly. Only two words but it was enough to make her feel giddy. She sat up and fixed her hair, not breaking their eye contact for a second. When she was done with her hair, she nodded at him, "Time to face reality." 

They were all sitting and staring into the wall when Maggie called for their attention. Aliya immediately stood up and snatched her gun from her holster when a strange man entered the barn. Daryl stormed towards them with Tara behind him. He immediately scouted outside before patting the man down. Everybody stood up in alert and aimed their weapons while Rick stared the man down, Judith becoming restless in his arms. He immediately gave Judith to Carl who protectively wrapped his arm around his little sister, carrying her to safety. 

The man - Aaron took a step forward and was immediately mirrored by everybody. They all took a step closer to the man, ready to pounce. He let out a nervous chuckle as he informed them of his camp nearby. They were to audition for a membership into his community. As ridiculous as it sounded. His job was to convince them all to follow him back home, a difficult feat to obtain. 

He politely asked Sasha to give Rick his pack, who did so pointedly. Rick kept his eyes on him as he ransacked through his back and retrieved a brown envelope. He opened it while minding Aaron's ranting. Aliya looked at Aaron in wonder, he was so incredibly awkward. "I apologise for the picture quality." he chuckled nervously as he talked about how they obtained the old camera from their last run. 

Daryl glared at the back of his head, "Nobody gives a shit." he cut Aaron off. Was he really worried about camera quality with guns on his head? Aaron looked back at Daryl and his smile immediately faltered, "You are absolutely 100% right." he agreed nervously, intimidated by Daryl's brooding presence. 

Seeing Rick take the pictures out, Aaron went on about his community and what it entails. They had everything they needed: food, security, walls and a roof. Aaron was still talking when Rick marched towards him and laid a punch on his face, knocking him out cold. Aliya lifted her brows in amusement, "Well that's one way to shut him up." she whispered. 

----

The journey to Alexandria was a roller coaster on its own. But they fortunately made it without losing anybody else. Abraham was the one to drive them all, seemingly back in his place and hopeful about making it, "We can make it." he exclaimed as he nodded with a smile. They couldn't help but smile as well, the big guy's happiness infecting them. 

But as the universe has it, the battery suddenly dies in the middle of the journey, placing back the stick in Abraham's ass. "You really can't win shit in this life!" he screamed in frustration as he slammed the door shut. Aliya chuckled quietly as she watched as Glenn yet again, offered a solution to the problem, bringing them back on the road in no time. 

None of that seemed to matter anymore as Aliya stared at the wall in front of them with her face full of awe and hope. It was a stark division between the dead and rusted cars that flooded the roads and the laughter and light conversations inside the gate. They were all cautious yet hopeful as they stepped out of their vehicles, all eyes trained on the high walls in front of them. 

Aliya felt Daryl's hand creep towards hers as they held each other close. Maggie smiled to herself as she felt Aliya's other hand reach out for hers. They all looked back at Rick who held a calm Judith in his arms, his eyes seemed clearer and lighter. Woodbury and Terminus were quiet and brooding while Alexandria was noisy with children's laughter and loud conversations. 

And for the first time in a long time, they held a sliver of hope.