Right, when Akaashi left, Bokuto was consumed with pain. He didn't know how to respond with what Akaashi had told him, "I think it'll be best if I quit the team for a while." Bokuto felt tears stream down his face. He was angry at himself. "AGHHHH!!" he yelled, seeing red, and the next thing he sees is the hole he made on his locker's door, and now he was crying for an entirely different reason. "ow ow oooow!!!" he hissed cradling his hand and started jumping in pain. It was a good distraction from Akaashi, but not enough to distract him for long. The thing is that he doesn't know how to deal with Akaashi anymore. The raven is his best friend, and that kiss they shared did something to him, he's never felt like kissing someone as much as he wishes to kiss Akaashi again. Being Gay is wrong, its a sin, his parents are religious people, and he loves them and not to mention he would never want to lose Akaashi. Seeing him kiss someone else, it made bokuto sad he didn't know what to do because friends shouldn't be feeling like this towards other friends. He has to make up with him and fast before the next training camp. It's only a few weeks away.

Idiot, how could he let it go this far. He grabbed his bag and headed out, walking back home by himself was depressing "I think it'll be best if I quit the team, for a while."

"TSC" he doesn't see how he'll be able to sleep tonight, this whole thing is like one big nightmare. It's like he has a cloud of gloom on his head that won't stop following him. It's like he lost the most important thing in his life, and thinking about it, Bokuto realizes he had. He lost his setter, the only person on the team that can throw him the sets he needs to destroy the opposing team, he lost his tutor the only person other than his teachers willing to help him, but most importantly, he lost his best friend. Bokuto doesn't see an end to his mood anytime soon, and Akaashi isn't here to help him through it. Like he always does. He realizes too late that he's already in front of his house. No doubt his mom will see him like this, he wishes he could fake his emotions, but he can't he never could. Opening the front door, he just hopes his mom doesn't notice him enter. Opening the front door, he hopes his mom isn't there.

"Bokuto, how was school today-" no such luck it seems, he looks up at his mom.

"Oh honey, what's wrong," she says, coming in for a hug Bokuto hugs her back, not knowing what else to do, and starts crying. "ah there, there, honey it's okay whatever you're going through is just a small set back. Nothing to worry about, okay- it's going to be fine. You'll see" he can hear his moms' voice crack she knows more than anyone about how bad his moods get, more then Akaashi even. "Mom, I fucked up I-I don't know what to do."

"Bokuto don't talk like that nothing is permanent whatever happened its nothing that can't be fixed." he can't hear her voice he's crying to much snot running down and tears staining his mothers' shirt she grabs his hand from her shoulder, and they move to the kitchen sitting her son down she starts making tea.

Bokuto sits there trying to rub the tears from his eyes desperately to no avail his mother passing him a cup of hot tea she sits in front of him.

"What's wrong?"

What does he say, what if she hates him too after he tells her, he can't lie he doesn't know how to. He's never had a secret, and if he did, he could never keep it for long. She'd hate me, like Akaashi, he'll lose her too. "I-I" can't. It's no good, just shut up. "Aka- Akaashi" just shut up, his fingers are trembling he moves them towards the tea. "he and i" he holds it hard feeling the warmth not being able to tear his eyes away and look at her "he hates me mom" he can't stop crying it's not fair why does he have to be stuck with this disorder. Why must his moods always be exaggerated like this, how could he ever be good at anything if he'll just end up breaking down eventually; even on the court, he's a liability to everyone on the team and in life.

"Baby, he doesn't hate you."

"NO, your wrong he's quitting the team because of me. I'm a coward" shes silent for a while and Bokuto doesn't know what to say, is this one of his episodes that's what she probably thinks she's not wrong though, this feels like one. Then again, he'd probably be like this even without the bipolar. She hates him too, of course she does, why does she have to have a son like him shes thinking that too.

"Stop that" Bokuto is surprised he looks up. His mother looks livid. "I know you Bokuto, I know when your thinking bad about yourself." she sighs, "Whatever happened between you and Akaashi will be fixed, that boy likes you a lot." How could she possibly know that? "I know because of how he looks at you when your not paying attention; he looks up to you a lot I can tell." he must have said that out loud, he grits his teeth.

"I like him a lot," he spits out, closing his eyes, not wanting to see her disappointed face "I know baby I like him too" he looks up at her face and sees she doesn't get it.

"Mom, I like him like him," then he sees understanding in her face. He sees her get even sadder tears threatening to come out.

"It's a cruel world out there for people like that, Bokuto," she says tears streaming down her face this is it she hates me Bokuto thinks not being able to look at her anymore, he looks down at his tea. It hurts. He can't breathe, shutting his eyes. He tries his best to listen to her next words.

"I want you to know that this changes nothing on the way I feel about you, you're my son, and I love you." Bokuto looks up again, eyes wide with relief at his moms' smiling sad face.

"but just know that there will be people that will want to hurt you for loving others differently, and you can't let people like that get you down because you're going to make it big one day. There's going to be so many people that are going to want to see you fall because of what you identify as even if your the kindest boy even if you're the best, they're going to want to hurt you." she smiles really smiles for what seems like the first time today wiping away her tears.

"You're going to be the best of the best, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mom, I'm saying it because I've seen it. And if Akaashi is stupid enough not to accept you, then he'll soon see his mistake." Of course, his mom wouldn't hate him. She's the kindest person in the world. He wipes his tears as well, seeing his mother smiling at him. She asks once more, "What happened?" And so he tells her everything about there practice kiss, about the way he acted in practice, Akaashi kissing someone, everything not leaving out a single detail.

When he was finished, he felt a lot better like a weight has been lifted from his shoulder. It was relaxing having someone to vent to. "Yeah, you really did fuck up." his mom says matter of fact after he was done.

And like a switch, the cloud of gloom was back on top, fresh new tears on his face.

"but nothing you can't fix," his mom said, urgently noticing her mistake "Akaashi is a very understanding person. He knows your situation, you can just explain that you don't hate him," Right Bokuto thinks he can explain, that the reason behind him ignoring him was of one of his depressive episodes, and they could go back to what they were, but-

"I've actually never told him about my disorder," he says in a whisper and hears his mother sigh once more "well, your gonna have to tell him." he nods.

"I think I'll skip dinner today." He says, standing up from his chair.

"I won't tell your father," he hesitates. "Thank you," and with that, he goes upstairs to think.

Authors Note: I cried a bit writing this chapter, hope you guys like it.

P.S If you see any mistakes, call me out on it.