Atifa's pov:

"Ah, I missed this place." Looking around the room, a content sigh escaped my lips.

"You have been away from here for barely three days api!" Glancing up at me from my mobile, she replied with an eye roll.

"Yes but ghar ghar hota hai. Nothing can be compared with the warmth that a home radiates." With a smile forming on my lips, I replied as a few old memories rushed to my mind.

(Yes but a home is a home.)

"Yes yes, I know. But you were the one who wanted to become a hero and get admitted to the hospital!" With a pout, Amira exclaimed while dropping the mobile on the bed and looking up at me. She was laying on her stomach on the bed with her hands underneath her chin as her legs dangled in the air behind her.

"I didn't want to become a hero or anything, I was just… trying to stop ammi…" Shrugging my shoulders, I replied while looking away, also immediately flinching at my reckless action. It was going to take time to get used to my own wound.

"I know that too. Anyways, wo sab chodein, ye bataiye, bhaijaan hamare saath hi rahenge na abse?" With hope gleaming in her doe shaped eyes, she inquired.

(I know that too. Anyways, tell me, Saad is going to live with us from now on, right?)

"Pata nahi, maine unse pucha nahi hai ab tak." Biting my lips, I replied. It wasn't that that question didn't cross my mind or anything, but I just… couldn't find enough courage in me to hear his reply.

(Don't know, I haven't asked him yet.)

What if he was going to leave now that ammi was going to stay admitted here and we had our exams coming up? Because obviously, he couldn't just take leave from his work for so long. And I didn't even know what his parents might think about it. I didn't want them to have any bad impression of me or my family. At least not when these decisions were in my hands. Even if it was just partly.

"Kyu nahi?!" Whining, she pouted before continuing. "Waise to har baat par lad jhagad lete hai aap log, lekin jab kaam ki baat aati hai to baat hi nahi karte!" She had a point, but I wasn't going to tell her that. And wait a minute, where was she even learning all these things from?! Oh god, this girl!

(Why not?!)
(You guys always argue with each other on something or the other, but when it is something important, you don't even talk about it!)

"Mai bhul gayi puchna, princess. Sacchi me. Aur koi baat nahi hai." Forcing a smile, I replied, hoping she would let go of this topic before he arrives. He had gone out to grab our dinner.

(I forgot to ask him, princess. Really. There is nothing else.)

"Itni badi ho gayi hai phir bhi baatein bhool jaati hai aap!" She whined, making me narrow my eyes at her. She was starting to test my patience.

(You have grown so old yet you still forget about things!)

"Kya bhul rahi hai tumhari api?" Just then, before I could retort, her bhaijaan entered the room and keeping a paper bag on the table, he looked up, a curious look on his face.

(What is your sister forgetting?)

"Kuch nahi. Mira, jaake padhai karo." Before she could tell him anything, I ordered, giving her a warning look.

(Nothing. Mira, go and study.)

"Api abhi to mai hospital se aayi hu!" Dropping her legs down and sitting up, she whined, a frown forming on her face.

(We just returned from the hospital!)

"Aur agle hafte se tumhare exams bhi hai, haina?" I asked her knowingly.

(And from next week you have your exams, right?)

"Jee lekin-"

(Yeah but-)

"Lekin wekin kuch nahi. Chup chaap jaake padho. Bohot chuttiya ho gayi tumhari." Giving her a stern look, I pointed towards the door. We had decided to shift to ammi's room until her return because this room had a washroom attached to it and it was much more convenient for me. Amira wasn't ready to sleep here, and appallingly, even the word ammi irked her. I couldn't believe the change in her regarding ammi. No matter what, she was our mother after all.

(No buts or ifs. Go and study. You have had enough holidays.)

"You are no fun!" Stomping her foot, she left the room with a pout. Since she was going to sleep in our room, Saad was going to stay with me.

"Thoda to aaram kar lene deti use. Jabse aap dono maa-beti admit hue hai tabse pareshaan hai wo." Shaking his head, he reminded me.

(You should have let her rest for a while. Since the time you both have been admitted, she has been worried.)

"Pata hai. Lekin mai nahi chahti ke iss wajah se uske finals kharab ho." Glancing at him, I replied.

(I know that. But I don't want her to ruin her finals because of this.)

"Kar legi wo, don't stress yourself out because of it." Smiling slightly and making his way towards me, he reprimanded me.

(She will do it, don't stress yourself out because of it.)

"I'm not-"

"Yeah, we both know that too." Interrupting me, he replied, a knowing look on his face. When I narrowed my eyes at him, he raised a brow, as if challenging me to argue with him. Looking away from him with a huff, I folded my arms and leaned back on the headboard.

Amira's question had taken me off guard and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't even know how to ask him because I didn't want him to leave anytime soon. Maybe he would just leave for a while, but I didn't want that either. Especially when ammi wasn't even with us, at our home.

._._._.

Struggling to open the zip of my dress, a tired groan escaped my lips as I let my hands fall and stared back at my reflection in the mirror in frustration. The wound on my shoulder wasn't helping me at all! And I really wanted to change into something comfortable since it was already pretty late and I couldn't change from morning.

I didn't have to change much at the hospital so it was okay. And even a nurse was there to help me whenever I needed it, but how was I supposed to manage this by myself? Especially changing the dressing! Ya Allah, I hadn't even thought about it!

Frowning at my thoughts, I bit my lips before trying once again. I didn't even know who to ask for help since Amira already went to sleep around half an hour back.

"You can ask for help, you know." Getting startled at his voice, I looked up, only to notice him closing the door before making his way towards me with his gaze on me.

Getting flustered, I looked away from him while bringing my hands down. "Mira already went to sleep." I murmured, not knowing what else to say.

"But I'm awake?" His reply came out more like a question. Stupefied, I looked up at him, not knowing what to make of his reply. Or maybe, I didn't want to understand.

"What?!" Even before I could process anything, I heard myself asking him.

"I- I mean I can help you… if… you want..." Rubbing the back of his neck, he spluttered, looking flustered himself. His hesitation made me feel slightly better knowing that I wasn't the only one feeling awkward.

"Do I have any other option?" I grumbled quietly while looking down.

"Where are your clothes?" Ignoring my rhetorical question, he inquired while looking around.

"On the bed." I replied, noticing he was avoiding my gaze.

"Are they comfortable…?" I could hear a frown in his voice and glancing up, I noticed him eyeing my clothes. And as expected, with a frown resting on his forehead.

"Yes, don't ask me so many questions. Just come and help me." I mumbled while looking away and biting my lips. I still had time, maybe I would be able to manage myself. I wasn't even getting late to get anywhere so-

"Okay." Shrugging his shoulders, he came closer to me, interrupting my thoughts.

"Ya Allah, turn off the lights first!" I exclaimed, horrified. What was this guy even thinking?! How could he even think that I would allow him to help me when the lights are turned on and-

"Uh… okay?" Rubbing the nape of his neck, he added hesitantly, sounding anxious. "But how am I supposed to see? Uhh… I- I mean- know-"

"Just do as I say." Feeling my face getting hot, I interrupted him quickly.

"Okay but why are you being so..."

"So what?" Frowning, I asked him while looking at him through the mirror as he made his way towards the switch board.

"Nothing." With a mumble, I could hear the quiet voice of the switches turning off before the lights went out.

Gulping the lump formed in my throat, I looked away from his silhouette. I couldn't believe I was letting him help me take off this dress! I felt so embarrassed that I even regretted wearing it!

Exhaling loudly, I was just about to let my shoulders sag when I felt his presence just behind me as his shallow breaths hit my bare neck and my breath hitched. Even though I knew he wasn't standing close to me and I could only hear his shallow breaths because of the quietness of the room, I still couldn't help but feel awkward. It would have been better for me to sleep in my uncomfortable dress than face this uncomfortableness, I thought.

"Should I?" He asked me quietly, sounding nervous himself.

"Y- yeah..." I breathed out, just realising that I was holding my breath.

"But where is...?" Touching my left shoulder slightly, he trailed off, sounding confused and flustered himself.

Quickly holding his hand and guiding it to where the zip was, I breathed out once again. "Here..." I couldn't even look up and face his silhouette through the mirror, afraid that he might already be looking at me and our gazes might clash. Even though the lights were off and it was dark with only the moonlight peeking through the curtains as our source of light, I was sure he could still make out my face.

._._._.

"Can I ask you something?" Exhaling loudly and forcing my fingers to stop fidgeting, I asked him while tilting my head to the side to have a good look at him.

"Yeah?" With his brows furrowed, he was busy typing something away on his laptop while sitting on the other side of the bed.

"I was just wondering- you don't have to tell me if you don't want to-"

"Atifa." Dropping his frown, he turned his full attention to me as his hazel orbs glinted with concern. "What is it?"

"You are going to stay here, right?" Moving my gaze back to my hands, I whispered quietly.

"Yes." With his voice unwavering, he affirmed.

"No like, for how long?..." Shaking my head, I looked up at him once again.

"For as long as you want." Raising his brow, he mused as his lips curved slightly upwards.

"Oh… Won't your mo- family have any problem?" Ignoring his amusement, I asked him quietly. I wasn't much worried about anyone's reaction except his mom's. But I just couldn't ask him directly, afraid that I might offend him.

"Don't worry about it. They won't have any problem In Sha Allah." Smiling slightly, he assured me while turning his attention back to his work.

(If God wills.)

"In Sha Allah." I mumbled quietly before looking away. I hadn't even realised until then that I was staring at him, and I was desperately hoping that he hadn't noticed it. Trying to divert our attention, especially my embarrassment, I inquired. "But what about your work?"

"I will see what we can do."

Humming in response, I looked away once again, now feeling guilty that he was going to stay here because of us.

His sudden question brought me out of my thoughts, also making me look up at him in astonishment. "I was wondering if you would want to move back to Suva, to your old home. You guys have a lot of memories attached to that house, right?"

"Yes, I wanted to move back. But I haven't thought about it in a while. So I don't know…" It was true. Since the time we moved here, I wanted us to move back. Living here just wasn't the same as living there. That place was so familiar to us, the neighborhood and everything. But I wasn't sure about moving there anymore. Not just because of a single reason but because going to live there felt empty now. It also reminded me of Emaan. And I- I didn't know if I was ready to face that reality so closely yet.

"Ask ammi and Amira about it. Maybe ammi would feel better there." Leaning slightly closer to the laptop with a frown, he suggested.

"Maybe. But I- I don't know… We have a lot of memories attached to that place, and I- I can't- not all of them are pleasant ones…" Exhaling loudly, I finally uttered. "Especially not for ammi…" 'And I don't think I'm ready to go back there anymore.' I wanted to add, but couldn't. I wasn't even ready to be that vulnerable in front of him again.

"But a lot of them are. And hopefully, she would have forgotten her bad memories by now. I mean-"

As soon as he glanced up at me, I looked away, not wanting to show him my moist orbs. "I know what you mean, but I'm just… scared… for her..."

._._._.

"I told you I will bring dinner on the way back home. What are you doing in the kitchen then?" His unpleasant voice inquired as he glowered at me.

"I just wanted to have some coffee. Would you like to have some too? I whisked some extra coffee just in case." Shrugging my left shoulder, I mixed the coffee in my cup.

"Couldn't you have asked me then?" Standing at the doorframe of the kitchen, he was frowning at me.

"You were talking to your parents and I didn't want to disturb you… And anyways, it was just coffee, nothing else." Holding my cup, I made my way towards the attached dining area.

"Still! And this reminds me, mama and baba wanted to talk to you. I told them I'll call them back after dinner."

"Oh… Are- are you sure about it? I- I mean after whatever happened-"

"You haven't left your job even while being sick, right?" Shaking his head, he sighed.

"Which job?" It was my turn to frown now. Looking up, I raised my brow.

"Overthinking." Faking a smile, he replied while coming to stand beside my chair.

"I wasn't overthinking! I was just-" Frowning, just as I started to protest, a bell rang, interrupting me. "Wait a minute, let me check who it is."

Before I could stand up, Saad replied, already making his way towards the door. "It's okay, I'll check."

"Okay." I sighed, wondering who it could be.

Leaning back on the chair, I continued to sip my coffee. I missed ammi. Everything just… it just felt so empty without her. We were so used to being with ammi, even if it was just at the end of the day when she would return from her work or before going to work, that we hadn't realised how much she had become a part of our daily routine, even if we never really accepted or acknowledged it.

Some muffled voices and shuffling coming from the front door brought me out of my thoughts. Frowning, I tried to have a look of the living room through the partition wall. It was angled in such a way that anyone in the dining room could look at the living room but anyone in the living room couldn't clearly see the dining area until close enough. A guy was sitting in the living room with Saad, which was kind of odd because I didn't know any guy who used to visit us. Who was it?

The structure of this house was a bit similar to the one in Savusavu, but this one was a lot more spacious, and had a dining room with the elimination of the lobby.

"I'm sorry but you might be?" The confused voice of the stranger asked my husband, making me frown. He was the one who came here, and that too for the first time, shouldn't he be the one introducing himself?

"I'm Saad Ibrahim, Safiya's son-in-law. I came here just a few days back."

"Oh… I didn't know her daughter was already married! I thought she still might be in her teens or something. My bad." He sounded apologetic. But again, did we even know him?!

"No one would have expected so I don't blame you either." Chuckling slightly, he replied while taking his right leg off his knee and sitting a bit straighter.

"I'm sorry I should have introduced myself to you first. I'm Naéem Khan. I work with Safiya. Since she hasn't been coming to the office for the past few days, without even informing any of us, I thought of checking up on her. Where is she? Is she alright?" Looking around curiously, he inquired.

Exhaling loudly, I leaned back in my chair while looking away. I was getting worried over nothing!

"Yeah… She is in the hospital right now, but she is fine. We can just pray for her quick recovery…"

"Oh. What happened suddenly? She was fine the last time she came to the office." Uncle Naéem - since he looked around ammi's age, maybe a bit younger than her, I decided to call him uncle - inquired worriedly.

"She… She is actually suffering from Alzheimer's and there were some complications so they had to admit her…" Leaning ahead in distress, he replied, his gaze flickering over to me once.

"Oh. So she finally told you guys about it?" I could see that guy's shoulders slackening in response, making our shoulders stiff.

"No. We got to know about it from the hospital. But how do you know about it?" Frowning, Saad leaned forward while keeping his arms on his knees and joining his hands. His reply made me sit up straight too. I didn't even think that she could have told someone else about it but not us.

"I actually got to know about it through her medicines one day when she forgot her stuff in the office. And when I confronted her about it, she confessed… In a way, it was also because she wanted me to inform the office if, God forbid, something... happens to her..."

"Oh… When… when did you get to know about it?" Trying to compose himself, he inquired.

"It has been a while I guess. She even told me about her family knowing nothing about it. It was a shock for me and whenever I would ask her to at least let her daughters know about it, she would always reply that I didn't understand and she didn't want to hurt them." He went on, unaware of the fact that one of her daughter's was already listening to his conversation, guilty about not having gotten to know about it earlier or being there for her earlier.

Chuckling, my husband replied. "Yeah, we got to know that. It's just that… maybe if she would have told us sooner, things might be a bit different. But maybe it was supposed to happen this way. It was already written in our fates…"

"I agree. She might have been better. But we can't do anything about it now except praying. Don't lose your hope, young man. In Sha Allah everything will be okay one day."

(If God wills)

Saad smiled slightly. "In Sha Allah."

(If God wills.)

"It was nice meeting you. Now please excuse me. I'll get going." Uncle Naéem stood up.

"No no, not so soon. Please stay for a while. I'll get some coffee for us." Standing up, Saad replied quickly while gesturing for him to sit. Focusing back on my half drunk coffee, I sipped it, only to keep the mug back on the table in distaste. How did it even become this cold so soon?!

._._._.

• What would you like to see before this book ends?

._._._.