a/n this chapter is longer than the others but YAY for plot progression & you should definitely stick until the end ;)

Connor headed back upstairs, his head so full of thoughts that he nearly knocked the food flying off the tray it was so precariously balanced on. When he returned to Troye's bedroom, he saw the boy lying on the bed, a look of defeat on his face.

"Maybe pizza will cheer you up? It's homemade," Connor winked, trying to cheer up the Australian.

"Pizza can't fix a broken heart," Troye sighed, tears welling up in his eyes, and Connor didn't know what to say to that, so he just took a slice and munched away thoughtfully.

The boys sat in silence, but it wasn't the usual peaceful silence - it was gloomy and miserable and Connor hated it, but he just didn't know what to say. He knew Troye wasn't in the mood for joking around, but at the same time he didn't want to pry into his personal life or ask about the subject, which was clearly a touchy one. Luckily, Troye broke the silence for him.

"I guess I should tell you," he paused and swallowed, "about him...about Brandon."

"You don't have to tell me anything if you're not ready, Tro," Connor replied, though inside he couldn't help but be curious about who this Brandon was and why the fuck he had broken Troye's heart.

"No, I want to, and you deserve to know. Just, just bare with me if I cry...it's not an easy thing to talk about," the Australian murmured, and Connor only nodded in response.

"Brandon was my boyfriend, back in Australia. Well, first he was my friend, actually. We never talked - like never, he was a jock and I just, well, wasn't - until one day I tweeted something about being confused about, y'know, my sexuality. I didn't even know he followed me back then, but apparently he did, because the next few weeks he befriended me and we became close, really fast. I don't even remember liking him that much as a person, and I have no idea what we talked about, but I went along with it because I was honored that he was even talking to me, a mere non-sporty classmate," Troye said, pausing to make a small laugh.

"Like I said, we became close - or so I thought - pretty quickly, and he started telling me how he, too, was confused about his sexuality. We would talk about it a bit and, oh god, I-I just thought he was nice and normal. He seemed so genuine at first, like a truly nice guy but I-I was so wrong," he continued, tears forming in his eyes. Connor sat on the other side of the bed, legs crossed, listening contently, his eyes never leaving the other boy.

"He told me he had feelings for me, and-and I believed him because I wanted to. I wanted to believe that guys like me had a chance with sporty guys like him," Troye carried on. Connor just wanted to yell at Troye then, not out of any negative emotion, but just because he was so wrong - it was completely the other way round. Connor was what most people considered a "sporty guy", and yet he knew far too well that Troye, the "non-sporty guy" with the messy brown hair and the deep blue eyes, was way, way out of his league.

"I liked him back - or atleast, I liked the idea of him, and so we decided to be in a relationship. But I was sworn to secrecy - like sworn - because he wasn't out yet - and to be honest, even in the early days, he got scary when he made me swear not to tell anyone. It sounds so dumb, but I didn't question his control back then, because I just thought he was scared of being outed...yet again I was wrong," the Australian exhaled.

"Things started to go wrong about one week in, when he started mentioning sex - like, a lot. We were two boys who were so, so far in the closet, so new to all this, so fresh with our feelings - and yet he told me all the things he wanted to do to me and for me to do for him, and more than that, he said he wanted it soon - it fast became all he talked about, and I-I just wasn't ready. Not even close..." he trailed off, and Connor's heart felt like it was torn into shreds when he saw the pain on Troye's face.

"By week two, he was practically forcing me to do it. He-he was so clever, so manipulative, he used everything against me. Blackmailing, humiliation, belittling, even-even threatening me. And you know what the most fucked up thing was? He made me believe I was the one in the wrong, the crazy one," he sniffled, a single tear now rolling down his cheek.

"Soon I was his slave - his sex slave - and that was all I was to him. I had to do everything he asked and if I even tried to get out of it, the torrents of abuse would start. Verbal, emotional...even physical, once. I had had enough of it all, and I tried to explain that I didn't think what he was doing was right. That took every bit of courage from me; every ounce of bravery. I was shaking in fear over telling him and yet in return, all I got was a black eye. I had to pretend to everyone that I had walked into a lamp post, j-just because he couldn't deal with me not agreeing," By now he was sobbing, and if Connor's heart wasn't already torn to pieces earlier, it sure as fuck was now.

"They were, by far, the worst months of my life. I was constantly in fear and in pain and yet I felt so helpless, so-so isolated. I couldn't tell anyone because I had sworn not to and I didn't want to be outed myself, so I was stuck, in this constant cycle of intimidation and threats and terror and dread. I felt like shit every day, like a useless piece of shit, and I almost convinced myself that I deserved this, that I deserved the pain, " the Australian whimpered, rocking back and forth, looking more vulnerable than Connor had ever seen him.

"I probably would still be in that relationship, y'know, if we hadn't have watched this documentary at school about abuse. It made me see that, no matter how hard it was, I had to get out of that relationship...even if it killed me, even if it was the last thing I did. I wasn't brave enough to tell Sage face to face, so I gave her a letter - the longest letter of my life, and it was tear-stained and all, and she read it and gave it to my parents too, on my request, and-and it felt so weird, finally telling someone about the thing that had haunted me for what felt like forever," he continued.

"My parents helped me cut it off with him because alone, it would never have happened. He came round, thinking it would just be us, home alone, and instead he got some serious shouting at from my parents. He apologised and went home - but I got it over text that evening. He was so, so horrible to me that night, maybe worse than he had ever been before, but none of it mattered, because I was out. Of course, it wasn't without repercussions - he outed me to the whole school, said I tried to kiss him and called me countless insults, but none of that was as bad as the relationship and I was just so thankful to be out," he smiled, but it wasn't his usual smile where his eyes lit up, it was a sad smile, a painful smile - one that had many secrets behind it - all of which had just been told to Connor.

"So yeah, that's it, really. When my dad got a job offer to LA, I just wanted to get out of Perth so, so desperately and so, here I am. Sorry that wasn't, umm, exactly an easy listen," Troye laughed - again sadly, with the tears still streaked on his face.

Connor was speechless, to say the least. He didn't know what to say to the boy who had just poured his heart out to him, and he knew whatever crappy advice he gave wouldn't take it away.

"I'm so, so sorry, Tro," he whispered, tears welling up in his own eyes. He pushed the tray of pizza aside and wrapped Troye up in a big hug, the most meaningful hug he could've given. Troye rested his head on Connor's shoulder and Connor could feel the teardrops stain his t-shirt, and in that moment, all he wanted to do was squeeze Troye as hard as he could, squeeze all the pain and the suffering out of him, and then cuddle him all night.

He just wanted to make Troye feel okay again, and he was determined to do whatever it took to get there.

"Is there anything I can do to, umm, help?" Connor asked when they finally stopped hugging, feeling so helpless and yet determined.

"Not really," Troye laughed, "the only thing that could fix my heart, as unlikely as it is, is to love again. To be in love, yeah."

And in that moment, Connor swore he was determined - and not just because he had certain growing feelings for the boy - but because he truly, deeply just wanted him to be okay.

a/n wow, that was by. far. the longest chapter i've written. hopefully it wasn't too long??? idk, i wanted to make up for all the pretty short chapters i've done and also, i've got a TON of exams & stuff coming up and so i thought i should try and get something somewhat substantial to you guys. hope you enjoy :)