Once the adrenaline of my latest challenge had worn off, my world became one of intense agony and confusion. I may have also tried to attack any wolf who stepped forward to help me, mostly because I felt more unsafe than I had ever felt before.

Did I really just force my way into being Queen Luna? Why did it matter to me if some random chick took the spot? My only goal was to stop Roman from whatever plans he had against the human race. That didn't mean I had to go this far, did it?

Anyway, Diana had been the one to bring me back down to reality. With a quick jab to my side, the pain was so sharp that I may have fainted. To me, it felt more like a warped blink in which one second I was in the arena and in the next I was back in a clinic setting.

"Don't move, Mila," Diana's voice sang to me softly, but the pain that followed didn't request the same from me. I realized I was on my stomach, the fabric of the bed sheet pressed against my face, with Diana above me doing who knew what that felt like flames on my back.

I immediately began to attempt an escape.

"Can you hold her?" Diana requested from someone else in the room. Two firm hands gripped my upper arms from behind, pinning me forcefully against the bed. Despite the sharp pain on my shoulder, I froze at the touch, feeling the spark in Roman's hands as they held me.

"Let me go," I snarled, my voice strained in pain.

"Your wounds aren't healing like a wolf," Roman responded stiffly. Diana moved over my flesh sharply, sending a sickening wave of pain throughout me. I groaned, tightening my hands into fist and clenching my mouth shut to suppress a scream.

"Almost done, Mila," Diana cooed as though I were a child.

"I'll kill you," I threatened in response, though the threat lacked true conviction.

"Oh, that's not nice," She sighed before continuing, sending a renewed wave of pain through me. I struggled against Roman's grip, trying to move away from whatever it was Diana was doing to me. Besides the pain across my back and shoulder, there were other aches and sharp pains throughout me. My lungs seemed to scream with each breath, so I was unable to take a deep breath needed to cry out as I wanted to.

"Okay, all done with that, just need to bandage you up. King Alpha, can you help her to sit up for me?" Diana asked Roman with a lofty voice of pleasant innocence as though she weren't just torturing me moments before.

Roman released his grip on my arms and instead began to grasp my elbow to help me begin to sit up. I winced painfully, following their request most obediently, before noticing that I was entirely shirtless. I looked down briefly and then yelped in alarm, crossing my arms over my chest before glaring at Roman.

"Look away, you pervert!" I demanded of him immediately.

Roman had a look of someone in an out of body experience, confused and not seeming to see the problem at hand. Then he slowly rolled his eyes before turning around to face the opposite direction as me.

I turned to Diana, who stood with fabric ready in her hand, her mouth opened in surprise as she had watched the interaction with amusement. I glared at her until she noticed and jumped.

"Right, lift your arms. The alpha can help you if you need him to," Diana said, a smile on her face despite herself. I grumbled, but lifted my arms myself with difficulty. It seemed harder to breath with my arms lifted, as though the weight on my lungs was too much. Diana began to wrap the fabric around my torso carefully, keeping it loose enough to not apply pressure to my abdomen which would no doubt make it even harder to breathe.

"I can't breathe," I grunted, before my arms faltered weakly. I felt the sudden light touch of Roman, just barely slipping his hands under each elbow to help me hold my arms up carefully. I aimed to demand him to look away again, but a glance showed his eyes skyward purposely, leaving the words lost on my lips. I relaxed slightly, allowing the assistance for now.

"A few of your ribs were fractured. It'll hurt to breathe for awhile, but as long as you take it easy it should heal on its own. The injuries on your shoulder and back were more concerning, but I've closed them up. You heal faster than a human, but still not as fast as a wolf... like I said when we met, it's like you're pre-shift."

Diana finished wrapping my torso and bandaging my shoulder before helping me with a shirt carefully. I whimpered during the process, my skin damp from the pain. When Diana was done, I was panting with strain, my body shivering from the aches.

"Diana, give her something for pain, please," Roman requested, a strain in his own voice. I glanced at him to see a look of discomfort on his features as he looked at nothing in particular. Before I could question him, Diana was holding a small glass out to me.

"Drink this, Mila. It'll ease your pain," She said softly. The liquid in the glass was warm, but it didn't smell like any tea I had ever had before. I was hesitant, but took a drink. It was sickly sweet, enough to distort my own expression in a way that made Diana laugh. "Go on, drink all of it."

I grumbled, but drank the rest of the concoction. Then I handed her back the glass before looking at Roman again. He didn't look at me at first, but I suppose he must have felt my eyes on him. He slowly turned that gaze on me, a million words hidden in his eyes.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" I asked him, my words beginning to slur suddenly.

"Yes," He confirmed shortly.

"I guess if I died that would've made you even more uncomfortable," I answered with a withering look of accusation. "You deserve it."

At my words, I felt that heat of anger from Roman, not particularly directed at me but still warm enough to ease the pain within me. Or perhaps the concoction was taking effect. Either way, I could breathe easier, and I felt a relief within that began to lull me into a drowsy state.

"We'll speak about this later," Roman said, the statement almost a threat.

"I can speak...," My words slurred dangerously, my body melting from the inside as I felt myself drift. "...about it... now..." I sighed, and then fell into a drugged sleep where the pain didn't follow me.

~...~

I spent a few days in the clinic, mostly alone except for Diana and Caleb who was assigned to guard me when Roman wasn't available- and for those few days he seemed to be unavailable. I suspected he was avoiding me, for good reason. As my wounds healed, my anger seemed to grow.

The image of Lillian's heart in my hand kept haunting me, echoing like some bad reoccurring dream even worse so than when I had taken the life of that wolf when I was being hunted... even worse than when Logan had killed Vio in front of me. The three deaths seemed to repeat in my head; stab to the head, Logan slicing through Vio, and finally my own hand tearing into Lillian with her eyes wide in surprise.

Was I becoming a monster? Was I already a monster?

When it eventually became too much to stay put and be stuck in my own head, I decided abruptly to end my clinic stay. By that point, I was already feeling better. My ribs didn't hurt as much and the wounds on my back and shoulder were becoming nothing more than sensitive scars. I didn't like to even look at them.

My anger felt alive. And I knew just who to direct it at.

I didn't have much in way of clothing. I only had the shirt and loose pants provided by Diana. I wasn't even sure what had happened to my previous outfit except to assume it had been ruined by the challenge. However, I wasn't unaccustomed to just making an escape as I was, so I didn't hesitate to open the window within my room and leap out into the world.

It was dark outside, but thankfully the air was a nice cool rather than the harsh winter I'd suffered through among the wolves. It felt promising, whispering things of summer sun, flowers, and laughing children. At least, that's what it should have been promising.

I marched my way with determination towards Roman's house. Since the challenge, our link to each other remained widely open. At any given time, I could feel him. A jolt to his heart would travel to mine. A shift over his hands felt like liquid over my own, even though physically there was nothing. And the anger, it was always there, heated and eating away at the both of us.

I opened the door to his home, finding it surprisingly unlocked, but the surprise was short lived when I was met face to face with Roman. He stood half dressed before me, expecting me, leaving me only just enough room to step forward and shut the door behind me.

I felt immediate conflicting emotions. Beneath the surprise was an inherent delight at suddenly being so close to him, with no one around to distract his steel blue eyes from taking in every part of my existence. Beyond the delight was uncertainty; a type of insecurity I wasn't used to allowing myself to have. And above all this was the various colors of ugly emotions: green for jealousy, blue for pain, and bright red for fury.

On my way to Roman, I had so much bottled up within just waiting to explode, but with him standing suddenly in front of me, the words were lost in the moment. I forgot where I wanted to even start. Roman, on the other hand, turned to stone in preparation as he opened his mouth.

"Don't you even," I hissed before he could start.

"What is wrong with you?" We both snapped in unison.

"Me?" I cried out in response.

"You could have died!" Roman snarled, his anger rushing through my veins. I rubbed my arms absently in response. "You could still die! Do you think this is a game?"

I glowered at him, narrowing my eyes as though I couldn't bear to see him.

"How would you have felt, huh? If I would've had my arms wrapped around someone else when you came back, stupid face and all, announcing to the world 'Oh, this is my new... whatever'?" I felt that green emotion flare up within me just at the memory of Lillian's touch on Roman's arm; the insinuation that he was hers. Roman scoffed.

"You're jealous. Even now, you're jealous," He announced in surprise.

"I'm not jealous!" I snapped defensively. I blocked that emotion, but closely behind it was blue. I huffed, my hands trembling from the whirlwind of feelings within me. It was confusing. "How could you? You let me mark you and then you just left. For months. And then to come back with some other woman as though I never existed?"

Roman stared me down without a word. And then he made a noise in his throat before turning around and storming up the stairs without answering. I opened my mouth and watched him go for a moment. But then the red fury only rose further within me. He wouldn't get away that easily.

I stomped up the steps, determined to follow him.

"I'm not just going to go away and you know that," I said with anger as I stormed into his bedroom. Roman was pacing within the room, his own anger throbbing within him. "Why are you always so angry, huh? Do you have nothing to say?"

"Oh, I have plenty to say," Roman growled dangerously.

"By all means, go ahead! Tell me just how wrong I am. You act like I just pranced into the woods, tralala'd my way to your village, interrupted your life, tried to kill you, banished you to shame timeout, tried to kill you again, banished you to starvation, tried to kill you again, BIT YOU FIRST-"

"You don't understand anything," Roman interrupted me seethingly.

"Tried to kill you again," I continued.

"I gave you direct rules to follow while I was gone. You ignored," Roman began to count on his fingers sarcastically before scoffing, "Oh, I'm sure all of them."

"That's not why you're angry," I ignored his statement. "Forced you to shift... to shift! I didn't even know I could slightly shift..."

"You've been fighting with the warrior wolves. You've been hunting. You were apparently almost killed during that hunt. You've directly ignored orders given by Beta Caleb. I have no doubt in my mind you participated in the lost religion," Roman began to talk over me, his anger only growing.

"That's. Not. Why. You're. Angry." I hissed furiously.

"Why?!" He finally snapped, storming towards me. I tensed, feeling his power towering over me and blanketing my own emotions. He reached for me, making me wince, but only grasped my upper arms roughly to pull me towards him. "Why did you challenge her? I don't understand it."

I was at a loss of words almost immediately.

"I was protecting you, you idiot," Roman continued furiously. "You have no idea what it means to be a wolf, much less the Queen Luna. There are... countless steps in between, steps you couldn't even begin to take as you are."

I swallowed heavily, but then set myself determinedly. "The steps don't matter. I'm Queen Luna."

"No, you're not," Roman stated firmly.

"I am the Queen Luna," I told him just as stubbornly.

"No. You're not."

"I am Queen Luna and if you don't shut up I'll be the King Alpha next!" I cried out, lifting my arms up before sharply ripping them down and out of his grip. I took a stumbling step back, my breath heavy, but then stood tense and determinedly before him. Roman stood in confusion, tilting his head as the confusion battled the anger within him.

"Why? Why do you even want the title?" Roman asked slowly. I looked from him to a random spot on the floor, thinking about the question within. I didn't want the title. I didn't want to be Queen Luna in the first place, so why did I risk my life to have it? Why do I continue to risk my life to keep it? I thought about the small space of time between having completely denied ever willing to be the Queen Luna to the moment I took up the challenge, and I hesitated.

"Because... I can't stand to see another person by your side other than me," I admitted truthfully, an embarrassed blush rising to my face unlike myself. I refused to look at Roman again, waiting for him to laugh at the statement or otherwise shame me.

I felt him move closer to me, but my skin still was heated from my words and so I remained still. Roman slipped a finger under my chin, lifting my face so that the only option I had was to look at him. I expected more anger, admonishment, or anything equivalent but instead I was greeted with a look of interest and suppressed desire.

"So nothing I can do will persuade you to relinquish it?" I stared at him openly now, uncertainty creeping its way into my veins. I shook my head no, afraid if I spoke I would probably chicken out after all. "Then we must finish our ceremony, don't you think?"

I hesitated. "Our ceremony?"

"Our mating ceremony," He stated cryptically. Roman released his grip on my chin, but I remained staring at him now suspiciously. "There are steps to take, like I told you." He picked at the bandage still over my shoulder absently.

"What kind of steps?" I asked dubiously.

"You have the instinct for it down already. You proved that the night we completed the mark," Roman described the situation lazily, next picking at my shirt lightly. I thought about his vague description hesitantly. "There's a certain tradition we keep, once mated. Out in the woods. Under the moon. A hunt, of sorts."

"I have the instinct? ... When you made me bite you, I ran away," I responded, considering his words carefully. Roman nodded briefly, still moving his gaze over my form until I realized he was inspecting my injuries. I folded my arms over my chest defensively, interrupting him. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm determining if you're fit for this hunt. We can do it now, if you want," Roman said slowly, a sense of danger in his tone. He moved closer to me, lowering his face carefully until his scent all but enveloped me. "I'll try to be gentle."

I was both enthralled and then startled by sudden realization.

"You don't mean...," My face was already flushed from before, but now I felt the blush over my entire body down to my toes. Roman watched me with amusement, a smile just barely beginning to play on his lips at my reaction.

"I'm telling you I will accept you, seeing as you're so determined to be. I will accept you right now. Just turn around and run. I'll chase this time, I promise," Roman told me deviously. I immediately stepped back, causing him to tense just as quickly.

"W-wait! I mean, hold on. I mean... I've never... well, I'm just saying, maybe... I'm just, I think maybe I'm not feeling too well," I suddenly reached for my bandaged shoulder, making a show of a false pain, "Oh, yeah. It's still pretty fresh because, you know, I'm not a shifted wolf and all. I probably should just... go back to the clinic..."

"Really?" Roman asked knowingly as I took another step back.

"Yeah, I'm just... I mean, don't follow! I'll be okay. I'm not running away... like in a ceremonial way..."

"Does this mean you've changed your mind about the title?" He asked, taking a slow step towards me with enough intent to raise my panic further.

"No, of course not! It's just like you said... injuries and... I'm..." I turned and bolted for it. My initial panic that Roman would still take my fleeing as an invitation to 'complete our ceremony' was only eased when he didn't follow me as threatened. I got all the way to the clinic window, stopping only when it was before me, and turned around in the direction I knew him to be. I panted, bending over to clasp my hands on my knees as I recovered.

I asked myself a question I probably should have been asking myself since the Wolf Moon. What the Hell have I gotten myself into?

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Music: Sun and the Moon by Freddie Sunshine

I know things are crazy these days, so be safe, everyone!