"You got to go outside at some point, Emily." Adam said from above me. "Plus your parents have been blowing up your phone and have resorted to calling Logan."

It'd been almost two weeks since my parents had handed over the manila folder that had destroyed the little bit of myself, I'd been grasping on to. I'd only taken showers and picked at my food here and there but wouldn't talk to any of the boys. Collin and Adam had tried their hardest to get even a word out of me, but I hadn't spoke in so long I was honestly starting to enjoy it.

Unfortunately for them, I wasn't the only one who had retreated into themselves. Logan had been in and out so often that we'd started expecting him to not come home. I had overheard Collin and Adam a few days ago wondering if he'd gotten back into drugs, which I had prayed not, but my hopes hadn't gotten me anywhere before.

"Emily, I'm serious." Adam snapped. "This isn't healthy."

I threw my comforter at my feet and glared up at him. "Why do you care? You hardly even know me?"

My voice was hoarse as it had been talking to Logan a couple weeks ago. Adam's eyes darked and he sat on my brother's bed beside me.

"I care because Jesse was my friend too, Emily." He reached out and rested his hand on top of mine. "And you are his little sister, even aside from that, I like you. You're sweet and a breath of fresh air in this home full of toxic masculinity."

I shrugged, avoiding the sympathetic look in his eyes. "Well if I'm stuck living here, I'd appreciate being left alone."

"That's not happening, and you know that. Collin and I aren't going to sit and watch you wither away into nothing, Emily. Please, find a way to express your emotions so they aren't all bottled up. I made you up some leftovers from last night. Get dressed and come eat, no if, ands, or buts."

*

Leaning against the wall and watching Logan as he unleashed all pent up aggression on the poor punching bag hanging from the ceiling, broke my heart even more that it already was. Every punch was full of such aggression and anger that I was sure he'd be able to knock someone out with just a hit if he were to put his full force into it.

"Logan." I spoke up for the first time in the ten minutes I'd been there. He paused, lifting his head as he tried to catch his breath, almost as if he wasn't sure if the voice had been in his head or not.

"Hey." He rubbed his knuckles as he crossed the room to me. "How are you doing?"

I stared at him blankly. "That's it?"

"Excuse me?"

"You decide you're just going to stop coming home for three days straight and ask how I'm doing? Clearly you don't give a flying f—"

He held up a finger, shaking his head. "You don't get to do that."

"What?" It was my turn to be offended.

"You don't get to hole yourself up in a God Damn room and sulk, ignore the world and that everyone exists, then come here and try and talk shit to me."

I laughed, running a hand down my face. "I'm not sitting there having people sitting and worrying about me."

"Yeah?" Logan rolled his eyes. "How about you go ask Collin and Adam if they've been worried about you? Or do you just want to stand here and act oblivious to the fact that people do care about you, Emily?"

"They don't even know me." I snapped, but I knew he was right, so I didn't push it any further.

"They don't have to know you to care, Emily. You know Collin has a little sister, he can put himself in your shoes and then some. Adam is little Mr. Nice Guy too, so of course he's going to care." He sighed. "Do either of them even know where you are right now?"

I stared at him for a minute, trying to make sure he was serious before I laughed quietly.

"Sorry, Logan, but I am nineteen in two days in case you forgot." I replied. "They don't need to know where I'm at, they aren't my brother, dad, or boyfriend, and are just becoming friends."

"Why are you here, Emily?" Logan sounded defeated, as if he just wanted me to walk out now.

I straightened myself and gestured around us, feeling my eyes stinging with tears.

"I don't know, Logan, maybe because you're the only person that knew Jesse as well as I did and you're nowhere to be found when I need you."

He shifted a little, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's best you find comfort in Collin and Adam, Emily."

"Best for you or for me?"

"For you!" His voice rose a little, anger igniting blue flames of fury in his eyes. "You've been through enough shit to last you a lifetime, Emily. Nobody should have to live through what you did as a child sticking by Jesse's side, nor should they have to lose a loved one so soon in their life."

I shrank into myself, hugging my arms around my stomach. I looked toward the portrait of my brother on the wall across the gym, surprised to see he'd started to add color so it was no longer just an outline.

"Let me guess." I whispered. "You're dangerous, you'll ruin my life, you don't want me to get too close because it'll destroy me."

"Emily." There was a warning tone in his voice.

I held a finger up. "No, maybe its that you don't want to drag me into the life you've tried so desperately to escape. Could even be that you think I'm this perfect little innocent girl and you're this big mean ol' bad boy that's going to destroy me."

"Emily!" He moved forward suddenly, cornering me back against the wall, his fist against the wall over my head. "Shut up."

I had him close enough now that I could stare into his eyes. The relief that spread through my chest was enough to cause me to slump back against the wall.

"You came here to see if I was shooting up or snorting." It wasn't a question, and even though he tried to force it back out, I saw the hurt in his eyes. "I don't blame you, but sorry to disappoint you."

"You disappeared, Logan. You have a history of it." I responded. "I'm sorry if we were worried, you'd gone back to it to cope."

He touched his free hand to my cheek, eyes searching mine for something I was sure he didn't find because he let out a long, shaky breath.

"I'm afraid," he leaned forward so his forehead was against mine, "that I've found a new addiction."

I swallowed, waiting for him to either close the little distance that remained between us or turn around and walk away as I had expected him to do a few minutes ago. When he did neither, I tangled my arms around his neck and pulled him down so his lips fell against mine.

I knew it was reckless and stupid, and I shouldn't be doing it, let alone with Logan Daniels, my brother's best friend, but somehow in that moment I didn't care.

"I figured I'd find you here." A voice came from the doorway, "But I'm a little surprised to find you here, Emily."

*

I sat in the passenger's seat of Collin's Nissan with my arms crossed over my chest, warmth still in my cheeks as I tried to figure out what to say to break the uncomfortable silence and strange tension radiating through the car. Even Adam, in the back with his arms behind his head, was staring at me with an extremely disapproving look.

"Why?" Adam finally broke the silence. "I mean, I understand the acting out of the ordinary because of the trauma, pain, and all that. But why Logan of all people?"

"Cause he's a bad boy." Collin teased from the driver's seat, but when I looked back to him he showed no indication of being amused in the least.

Adam frowned, "I don't know if I'd say that."

"He has a troubled past, fights, and keep to himself in a mysterious kind of way. Alisa had mentioned may times that he must attract girls just for the sole fact. Which as the two of us know firsthand, he does, but brushes them off."

"Man, Emily's not like that though, at least I don't think so." Adam spoke as if I wasn't in the seat in front of him. "But I'd like to hear her answer as to why."

I looked out the window as I responded, afraid to see either of their expressions. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Collin snickered. "You obviously let him shove his tongue down your throat for a reason."

"How about you stop acting like a jealous dick and let me finish?" I snapped before I could stop myself. Adam made a face then fell back against his seat, still watching me intently from where he sat. "As you mentioned, Adam, I think it was an emotion thing. Knowing we shared the same trauma and all that. I wouldn't have done that other wise, you know that, you've seen how we are."

Collin made a clicking noise with his tongue. "What I see is Logan feeling something for you and you confused about everything."

"I see a lot of sexual tension." Adam commented. "I mean, I feel like Logan's going to pin you to the bed and—"

"Stop!" Collin and I both groaned from the front seat, not wanting to hear the rest of Adam's answer. He laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. To my relief, both men remained silent until we reached the small pizzeria Adam had invited us out to eat at. He climbed out first, obviously wanting to escape the tension in the car. I reached for the handle, but Collin caught my wrist so I was forced to look back at him.

"Just be careful, Emily. I don't mean to sound jealous, I just. . . everything in me has always told my sister to run the other way when it came to guys like Logan."

I forced a weak smile. "But I'm not your sister, Collin. I can figure it out on my own, you don't need to worry about me."

"Of course I do. So does Adam. Because we are here for you now, Emily. As soon as you spent the night in the apartment that first night, you became part of the little family your brother built. And I'll be damned if I let something happen to you, and I'm sure Adam feels the same."

As if he'd been eavesdropping the entire time, Adam opened my door and poked his head in, rubbing his stomach with a grin.

"I sure do." He then pointed over the car at the pizzeria. "But can you guys save this little chat for back at the condo? I'm starving."